安徒生童话-第91部分

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marble　staircase；　coveredwith　soft　carpets　and　adorned　with　many　a　statue。　Then　he　went　onthrough　richly…furnished　chambers；　over　mosaic　floors；　amid　gorgeouspictures。　All　this　pomp　and　luxury　seemed　to　weary　him；　but　soon　hefelt　relieved；　for　the　princely　old　master　of　the　house　received　himmost　graciously；；　almost　heartily；　and　when　he　took　his　leave　he　wasrequested　to　step　into　the　Signora's　apartment；　for　she；　too；　wishedto　see　him。　The　servants　led　him　through　more　luxurious　halls　andchambers　into　her　room；　where　she　appeared　the　chief　and　leadingornament。

She　spoke　to　him。　No　hymn　of　supplication；　no　holy　chant；　couldmelt　his　soul　like　the　sound　of　her　voice。　He　took　her　hand　and　liftedit　to　his　lips。　No　rose　was　softer；　but　a　fire　thrilled　through　himfrom　this　rose…　a　feeling　of　power　came　upon　him；　and　words　pouredfrom　his　tongue…　he　knew　not　what　he　said。　Does　the　crater　of　thevolcano　know　that　the　glowing　lava　is　pouring　from　it？　He　confessedwhat　he　felt　for　her。　She　stood　before　him　astonished；　offended；proud；　with　contempt　in　her　face；　an　expression　of　disgust；　as　ifshe　had　suddenly　touched　a　cold　unclean　reptile。　Her　cheeksreddened；　her　lips　grew　white；　and　her　eyes　flashed　fire；　thoughthey　were　dark　as　the　blackness　of　night。

〃Madman！〃　she　cried；　〃away！　begone！〃

And　she　turned　her　back　upon　him。　Her　beautiful　face　wore　anexpression　like　that　of　the　stony　countenance　with　the　snaky　locks。

Like　a　stricken；　fainting　man；　he　tottered　down　the　staircaseand　out　into　the　street。　Like　a　man　walking　in　his　sleep；　he　found　hisway　back　to　his　dwelling。　Then　he　woke　up　to　madness　and　agony；　andseized　his　hammer；　swung　it　high　in　the　air；　and　rushed　forward　toshatter　the　beautiful　marble　image。　But；　in　his　pain；　he　had　notnoticed　that　his　friend　Angelo　stood　beside　him；　and　Angelo　heldback　his　arm　with　a　strong　grasp；　crying；

〃Are　you　mad？　What　are　you　about？〃

They　struggled　together。　Angelo　was　the　stronger；　and；　with　a　deepsigh　of　exhaustion；　the　young　artist　threw　himself　into　a　chair。

〃What　has　happened？〃　asked　Angelo。　〃mand　yourself。　Speak！〃

But　what　could　he　say？　How　could　he　explain？　And　as　Angelo　couldmake　no　sense　of　his　friend's　incoherent　words；　he　forbore　to　questionhim　further；　and　merely　said；

〃Your　blood　grows　thick　from　your　eternal　dreaming。　Be　a　man；　asall　others　are；　and　don't　go　on　living　in　ideals；　for　that　is　whatdrives　men　crazy。　A　jovial　feast　will　make　you　sleep　quietly　andhappily。　Believe　me；　the　time　will　e　when　you　will　be　old；　and　yoursinews　will　shrink；　and　then；　on　some　fine　sunshiny　day；　wheneverything　is　laughing　and　rejoicing；　you　will　lie　there　a　fadedplant；　that　will　grow　no　more。　I　do　not　live　in　dreams；　but　inreality。　e　with　me。　Be　a　man！〃

And　he　drew　the　artist　away　with　him。　At　this　moment　he　was　ableto　do　so；　for　a　fire　ran　in　the　blood　of　the　young　sculptor；　achange　had　taken　place　in　his　soul；　he　felt　a　longing　to　tear　from　theold；　the　accustomed…　to　forget；　if　possible；　his　own　individuality；and　therefore　it　was　that　he　followed　Angelo。

In　an　out…of…the…way　suburb　of　Rome　lay　a　tavern　much　visited　byartists。　It　was　built　on　the　ruins　of　some　ancient　baths。　The　greatyellow　citrons　hung　down　among　the　dark　shining　leaves；　and　covereda　part　of　the　old　reddish…yellow　walls。　The　tavern　consisted　of　avaulted　chamber；　almost　like　a　cavern；　in　the　ruins。　A　lamp　burnedthere　before　the　picture　of　the　Madonna。　A　great　fire　gleamed　on　thehearth；　and　roasting　and　boiling　was　going　on　there；　without；　underthe　citron　trees　and　laurels；　stood　a　few　covered　tables。

The　two　artists　were　received　by　their　friends　with　shouts　ofwele。　Little　was　eaten；　but　much　was　drunk；　and　the　spirits　ofthe　pany　rose。　Songs　were　sung　and　ditties　were　played　on　theguitar；　presently　the　Salterello　sounded；　and　the　merry　dance　began。Two　young　Roman　girls；　who　sat　as　models　to　the　artists；　took　partin　the　dance　and　in　the　festivity。　Two　charming　Bacchantes　werethey；　certainly　not　Psyches…　not　delicate；　beautiful　roses；　but　fresh；hearty；　glowing　carnations。

How　hot　it　was　on　that　day！　Even　after　sundown　it　was　hot。　Therewas　fire　in　the　blood；　fire　in　every　glance；　fire　everywhere。　Theair　gleamed　with　gold　and　roses；　and　life　seemed　like　gold　and　roses。

〃At　last　you　have　joined　us；　for　once；〃　said　his　friends。　〃Now　letyourself　be　carried　by　the　waves　within　and　around　you。〃

〃Never　yet　have　I　felt　so　well；　so　merry！〃　cried　the　young　artist。〃You　are　right…　you　are　all　of　you　right。　I　was　a　fool…　a　dreamer。　Manbelongs　to　reality；　and　not　to　fancy。〃

With　songs　and　with　sounding　guitars　the　young　people　returnedthat　evening　from　the　tavern；　through　the　narrow　streets；　the　twoglowing　carnations；　daughters　of　the　Campagna；　went　with　them。

In　Angelo's　room；　among　a　litter　of　colored　sketches　（studies）　andglowing　pictures；　the　voices　sounded　mellower；　but　not　less　merrily。On　the　ground　lay　many　a　sketch　that　resembled　the　daughters　of　theCampagna；　in　their　fresh；　hearty　eliness；　but　the　two　originalswere　far　handsomer　than　their　portraits。　All　the　burners　of　thesix…armed　lamp　flared　and　flamed；　and　the　human　flamed　up　from　within；and　appeared　in　the　glare　as　if　it　were　divine。

〃Apollo！　Jupiter！　I　feel　myself　raised　to　our　heaven…　to　yourglory！　I　feel　as　if　the　blossom　of　life　were　unfolding　itself　in　myveins　at　this　moment！〃

Yes；　the　blossom　unfolded　itself；　and　then　burst　and　fell；　andan　evil　vapor　arose　from　it；　blinding　the　sight；　leading　astray　thefancy；　the　firework　of　the　senses　went　out；　and　it　became　dark。

He　was　again　in　his　own　room。　There　he　sat　down　on　his　bed　andcollected　his　thoughts。

〃Fie　on　thee！〃　these　were　the　words　that　sounded　out　of　hismouth　from　the　depths　of　his　heart。　〃Wretched　man；　go；　begone！〃　Anda　deep　painful　sigh　burst　from　his　bosom。

〃Away！　begone！〃　These；　her　words；　the　words　of　the　livingPsyche；　echoed　through　his　heart；　escaped　from　his　lips。　He　buried　hishead　in　the　pillows；　his　thoughts　grew　confused；　and　he　fell　asleep。

In　the　morning　dawn　he　started　up；　and　collected　his　thoughtsanew。　What　had　happened？　Had　all　the　past　been　a　dream？　The　visit　toher；　the　feast　at　the　tavern；　the　evening　with　the　purple　carnationsof　the　Campagna？　No；　it　was　all　real…　a　reality　he　had　never　beforeexperienced。

In　the　purple　air　gleamed　the　bright　Star；　and　its　beams　fell　uponhim　and　upon　the　marble　Psyche。　He　trembled　as　he　looked　at　thatpicture　of　immortality；　and　his　glance　seemed　impure　to　him。　Hethrew　the　cloth　over　the　statue；　and　then　touched　it　once　more　tounveil　the　form…　but　he　was　not　able　to　look　again　at　his　own　work。

Gloomy；　quiet；　absorbed　in　his　own　thoughts；　he　sat　therethrough　the　long　day；　he　heard　nothing　of　what　was　going　on　aroundhim；　and　no　man　guessed　what　was　passing　in　this　human　soul。

And　days　and　weeks　went　by；　but　the　nights　passed　more　slowly　thanthe　days。　The　flashing　Star　beheld　him　one　morning　as　he　rose；　paleand　trembling　with　fever；　from　his　sad　couch；　then　he　steppedtowards　the　statue；　threw　back　the　covering；　took　one　long；sorrowful　gaze　at　his　work；　and　then；　almost　sinking　beneath　theburden；　he　dragged　the　statue　out　into　the　garden。　In　that　place　wasan　old　dry　well；　now　nothing　but　a　hole。　Into　this　he　cast　the　Psyche；threw　earth　in　above　her；　and　covered　up　the　spot　with　twigs　andtles。

〃Away！　begone！〃　Such　was　the　short　epitaph　he　spoke。

The　Star　beheld　all　this　from　the　pink　morning　sky；　and　its　beamtrembled　upon　two　great　tears　upon　the　pale　feverish　cheeks　of　theyoung　man；　and　soon　it　was　said　that　he　was　sick　unto　death；　and　helay　stretched　upon　a　bed　of　pain。

The　convent　Brother　Ignatius　visited　him　as　a　physician　and　afriend；　and　brought　him　words　of　fort；　of　religion；　and　spoke　tohim　of　the　peace　and　happiness　of　the　church；　of　the　sinfulness　ofman；　of　rest　and　mercy　to　be　found　in　heaven。

And　the　words　fell　like　warm　sunbeams　upon　a　teeming　soil。　Thesoil　smoked　and　sent　up　clouds　of　mist；　fantastic　pictures；　picturesin　which　there　was　reality；　and　from　these　floating　islands　helooked　across　at　human　life。　He　found　it　vanity　and　delusion…　andvanity　and　delusion　it　had　been　to　him。　They　told　him　that　art　was　asorcerer；　betraying　us　to　vanity　and　to　earthly　lusts；　that　we　arefalse　to　ourselves；　unfaithful　to　our　friends；　unfaithful　towardsHeaven；　and　that　the　serpent　was　always　repeating　within　us；　〃Eat；　andthou　shalt　bee　as　God。〃

And　it　appeared　to　him　as　if　now；　for　the　first　time；　he　knewhimself；　and　had　found　the　way　that　leads　to　truth　and　to　peace。　Inthe　church　was　the　light　and　the　brightness　of　God…　in　the　monk's　cellhe　should　find　the　rest　through　which　the　tree　of　human　life　mightgrow　on　into　eternity。

Brother　Ignatius　strengthened　his　longings；　and　thedetermination　became　firm　within　him。　A　child　of　the　world　became　aservant　of　the　church…　the　young　artist　renounced　the　world；　andretired　into　the　cloister。

The　brothers　came　forward　affectionately　to　wele　him；　and　hisinauguration　was　as　a　Sunday　feast。　Heaven　seemed　to　him　to　dwell　inthe　sunshine　of　the　church；　and　to　beam　upon　him　from　the　holypictures　and　from　the　cross。　And　when；　in　the　evening；　at　the　sunsethour；　he　stood　in　his　little　cell；　and；　opening　the　window；　looked　outupon　old　Rome；　upon　the　desolated　temples；　and　the　great　deadColiseum…　when　he　saw　all　this　in　its　spring　garb；　when　the　acaciasbloomed；　and　the　ivy　was　fresh；　and　roses　burst　forth　everywhere；and　the　citron　and　orange　were　in　the　height　of　their　beauty；　andthe　palm　trees　waved　their　branches…　then　he　felt　a　deeper　emotionthan　had　ever　yet　thrilled　through　him。　The　quiet　open　Campagna　spreaditself　forth　towards　the　blue　snow…covered　mountains；　which　seemedto　be　painted　in　the　air；　all　the　outlines　melting　into　each　other；breathing　peace　and　beauty；　floating；　dreaming…　and　all　appearing　likea　dream！

Yes；　this　world　was　a　dream；　and　the　dream　lasts　for　hours；　andmay　return　for　hours；　but　convent　life　is　a　life　of　years…　long　years；and　many　years。

From　within　es　much　that　renders　men　sinful　and　impure。　Hefully　realized　the　truth　of　this。　What　flames　arose　up　in　him　attimes！　What　a　source　of　evil；　of　that　which　we　would　not；　welled　upcontinually！　He　mortified　his　body；　but　the　evil　came　from　within。

One　day；　after　the　lapse　of　many　years；　he　met　Angelo；　whorecognized　him。

〃Man！〃　exclaimed　Angelo。　〃Yes；　it　is　thou！　Art　thou　happy　now？Thou　hast　sinned　against　God；　and　cast　away　His　boon　from　thee…　hastneglected　thy　mission　in　this　world！　Read　the　parable　of　the　intrustedtalent！　The　MASTER；　who　spoke　that　parable；　spoke　the　truth！　What　hastthou　gained？　What　hast　thou　found？　Dost　thou　not　fashion　for　thyself　areligion　and　a　dreamy　life　after　thine　own　idea；　as　almost　all　do？Suppose　all　this　is　a　dream；　a　fair　delusion！〃

〃Get　thee　away　from　me；　Satan！〃　said　the　monk；　and　he　quittedAngelo。

〃There　is　a　devil；　a　personal　devil！　This　day　I　have　seen　him！〃said　the　monk　to　himself。　〃Once　I　extended　a　finger　to　him；　and　hetook　my　whole　hand。　But　now；〃　he　sighed；　〃the　evil　is　within　me；　andit　is　in　yonder　man；　but　it　does　not　bow　him　down；　he　goes　abroad　withhead　erect；　and　enjoys　his　fort；　and　I　grasped　at　fort　in　theconsolations　of　religion。　If　it　were　nothing　but　a　consolation？Supposing　everything　here　were；　like　the　world　I　have　quitted；　onlya　beautiful　fancy；　a　delusion　like　the　beauty　of　the　evening　clouds；like　the　misty　blue　of　the　distant　hills！…　when　you　approach　them；they　are　very　different！　O　eternity！　Thou　actest　like　the　great　calmocean；　that　beckons　us；　and　fills　us　with　expectation…　and　when　weembark　upon　thee；　we　sink；　disappear；　and　cease　to　be。　Delusion！away　with　it！　begone！〃

And　tearless；　but　sunk　in　bitter　reflection；　he　sat　upon　hishard　couch；　and　then　knelt　down…　before　whom？　Before　the　stone　crossfastened　to　the　wall？　No；　it　was　only　habit　that　made　him　take　thisposition。

The　more　deeply　he　looked　into　his　own　heart；　the　blacker　didthe　darkness　seem。　…〃Nothing　within；　nothing　without…　this　lifesquanderied　and　cast　away！〃　And　this　thought　rolled　and　grew　like　asnowball；　until　it　seemed　to　crush　him。

〃I　can　confide　my　griefs　to　none。　I　may　speak　to　none　of　thegnawing　worm　within。　My　secret　is　my　prisoner；　if　I　let　the　captiveescape；　I　shall　be　his！〃

And　the　godlike　power　that　dwelt　within　him　suffered　and　strove。

〃O　Lord；　my　Lord！〃　he　cried；　in　his　despair；　〃be　merciful　andgrant　me　faith。　I　threw　away　the　gift　thou　hadst　vouchsafed　to　me；　Ileft　my　mission　unfulfilled。　I　lacked　strength；　and　strength　thoudidst　not　give　me。　Immortality…　the　Psyche　in　my　breast…　away　withit！…　it　shall　be　buried　like　that　Psyche；　the　best　gleam　of　my　life；never　will　it　arise　out　of　its　grave！〃

The　Star　glowed　in　the　roseate　air；　the　Star　that　shall　surelybe　extinguished　and　pass　away　while　the　soul　still　lives　on；　itstrembling　beam　fell　upon　the　white　wall；　but　it　wrote　nothing　thereupon　being　made　perfect　in　God；　nothing　of　the　hope　of　mercy；　of　thereliance　on　the　divine　love　that　thrills　through　the　heart　of　thebeliever。

〃The　Psyche　within　can　never　die。　Shall　it　live　inconsciousness？　Can　the　inprehensible　happen？　Yes；　yes。　My　beingis　inprehensible。　Thou　art　unfathomable；　O　Lord。　Thy　whole　world　isinprehensible…　a　wonder…work　of　power；　of　glory　and　of　love。〃

His　eyes　gleamed；　and　then　closed　in　death。　The　tolling　of　thechurch　bell　was　the　last　sound　that　echoed　above　him；　above　the　deadman；　and　they　buried　him；　covering　him　with　earth　that　had　beenbrought　from　Jerusalem；　and　in　which　was　mingled　the　dust　of　many　ofthe　pious　dead。

When　years　had　gone　by　his　skeleton　was　dug　up；　as　the　skeletonsof　the　monks　who　had　died　before　him　had　been；　it　was　clad　in　abrown　frock；　a　rosary　was　put　into　the　bony　hand；　and　the　form　wasplaced　among　the　ranks　of　other　skeletons　in　the　cloisters　of　theconvent。　And　the　sun　shone　without；　while　within　the　censers　werewaved　and　the　Mass　was　celebrated。

And　years　rolled　by。

The　bones　fell　asunder　and　became　mingled　with　others。　Skulls　werepiled　up　till　they　formed　an　outer　wall　around　the　church；　and　therelay　also　his　head　in　the　burning　sun；　for　many　dead　were　there；　and　noone　knew　their　names；　and　his　name　was　forgotten　also。　And　see；something　was　moving　in　the　sunshine；　in　the　sightless　cavernous　eyes！What　might　that　be？　A　sparkling　lizard　moved　about　in　the　skull；gliding　in　and　out　through　the　sightless　holes。　The　lizard　nowrepresented　all　the　life　left　in　that　head；　in　which　once　greatthoughts；　bright　dreams；　the　love　of　art　and　of　the　glorious；　hadarisen；　whence　hot　tears　had　rolled　down；　where　hope　and　immortalityhad　had　their　being。　The　lizard　sprang　away　and　disappeared；　and　theskull　itself　crumbled　to　pieces　and　became　dust　among　dust。

Centuries　passed　away。　The　bright　Star　gleamed　unaltered；radiant　and　large；　as　it　had　gleamed　for　thousands　of　years；　and　theair　glowed　red　with　tints　fresh　as　roses；　crimson　like　blood。

There；　where　once　had　stood　the　narrow　lane　containing　the　ruinsof　the　temple；　a　nunnery　was　now　built。　A　grave　was　being　dug　in　theconvent　garden　for　a　young　nun　who　had　died；　and　was　to　be　laid　in　theearth　this　morning。　The　spade　struck　against　a　hard　substance；　itwas　a　stone；　that　shone　dazzling　white。　A　block　of　marble　soonappeared；　a　rounded　shoulder　was　laid　bare；　and　now　the　spade　wasplied　with　a　more　careful　hand；　and　presently　a　female　head　wasseen；　and　butterflies'　wings