2 new+moon新月-第36部分

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stayed　on　the　couch　with　Alice　again。　


Charlie　was　almost　a　stranger　when　he　came　down　the　stairs　before　the　sun　was　up；　wearing　an　old　suit　
I'd　never　seen　him　in　before。　The　jacket　hung　open；　I　guessed　it　was　too　tight　to　fasten　the　buttons。　His　
tie　was　a　bit　wide　for　the　current　style。　He　tiptoed　to　the　door；　trying　not　to　wake　us　up。　I　let　him　go；　
pretending　to　sleep；　as　Alice　did　on　the　recliner。　

As　soon　as　he　was　out　the　door；　Alice　sat　up。　Under　the　quilt；　she　was　fully　dressed。　

〃So；　what　are　we　doing　today？〃　she　asked。　

〃I　don't　know—do　you　see　anything　interesting　happening？〃　

She　smiled　and　shook　her　head。　〃But　it's　still　early。〃　

All　the　time　I'd　been　spending　in　La　Push　meant　a　pile　of　things　I'd　been　neglecting　at　home；　and　I　
decided　to　catch　up　on　my　chores。　I　wanted　to　do　something；　anything　that　might　make　life　easier　for　
Charlie—maybe　it　would　make　him　feel　just　a　little　better　to　e　home　to　a　clean；　organized　house。　I　
started　with　the　bathroom—it　showed　the　most　signs　of　neglect。　

While　I　worked；　Alice　leaned　against　the　doorjamb　and　asked　nonchalant　questions　about　my；　well；　our　
high　school　friends　and　what　they　been　up　to　since　she'd　left。　Her　face　stayed　casual　and　emotionless；　but　
I　sensed　her　disapproval　when　she　realized　how　little　I　could　tell　her。　Or　maybe　I　just　had　a　guilty　
conscience　after　eavesdropping　on　her　conversation　with　Charlie　yesterday　morning。　

I　was　literally　up　to　my　elbows　in　et；　scrubbing　the　floor　of　the　bathtub；　when　the　doorbell　rang。　

I　looked　to　Alice　at　once；　and　her　expression　was　perplexed；　almost　worried；　which　was　strange；　Alice　
was　never　taken　by　surprise。　

〃Hold　on！〃　I　shouted　in　the　general　direction　of　the　front　door；　getting　up　and　hurrying　to　the　sink　to　rinse　
my　arms　off。　

〃Bella；〃　Alice　said　with　a　trace　of　frustration　in　her　voice；　〃I　have　a　fairly　good　guess　who　that　might　be；　
and　I　think　I'd　better　step　out。〃　

〃Guess？〃　I　echoed。　Since　when　did　Alice　have　to　guess　anything？　

〃If　this　is　a　repeat　of　my　egregious　lapse　in　foresight　yesterday；　then　it's　most　likely　Jacob　Black　or　one　of　
his…　friends。〃　

I　stared　at　her；　putting　it　together。　〃You　can't　see　werewolves？〃　

She　grimaced。　〃So　it　would　seem。〃　She　was　obviously　annoyed　by　this　fact—very　annoyed。　

The　doorbell　rang　again—buzzing　twice　quickly　and　impatiently。　

〃You　don't　have　go　anywhere；　Alice。　You　were　here　first。〃　

She　laughed　her　silvery　little　laugh—it　had　a　dark　edge。　〃Trust　me—it　wouldn't　be　a　good　idea　to　have　
me　and　Jacob　Black　in　a　room　together。〃　

She　kissed　my　cheek　swiftly　before　she　vanished　through　Charlie's　door—and　out　his　back　window；　no　
doubt。　

The　doorbell　rang　again。　

18。　THE　FUNERAL　




I　SPRINTED　DOWN　THE　STAIRS　AND　THREW　THE　DOOR　open。　

It　was　Jacob；　of　course。　Even　blind；　Alice　wasn't　slow。　

He　was　standing　about　six　feet　back　from　the　door；　his　nose　wrinkled　in　distaste；　but　his　face　otherwise　
smooth—masklike。　He　didn't　fool　me；　I　could　see　the　faint　trembling　of　his　hands。　

Hostility　rolled　off　of　him　in　waves。　It　brought　back　that　awful　afternoon　when　he'd　chosen　Sam　over　me；　
and　I　felt　my　chin　jerk　up　defensively　in　response。　

Jacob's　Rabbit　idled　by　the　curb　with　Jared　behind　the　wheel　and　Embry　in　the　passenger　seat。　I　
understood　what　this　meant：　they　were　afraid　to　let　him　e　here　alone。　It　made　me　sad；　and　a　little　
annoyed。　The　Cullens　weren't　like　that。　

〃Hey；〃　I　finally　said　when　he　didn't　speak。　

Jake　pursed　his　lips；　still　hanging　back　from　the　door。　His　eyes　flickered　across　the　front　of　the　house。　

I　ground　my　teeth。　〃She's　not　here。　Do　you　need　something？〃　

He　hesitated。　〃You're　alone？〃　

〃Yes。〃　I　sighed。　

〃Can　I　talk　to　you　a　minute？〃　

〃Of　course　you　can；　Jacob。　e　on　in。〃　

Jacob　glanced　over　his　shoulder　at　his　friends　in　the　car。　I　saw　Embry　shake　his　head　just　a　tiny　bit。　For　
some　reason；　this　bugged　me　to　no　end。　

My　teeth　clenched　together　again。　〃Chicken〃　I　mumbled　under　my　breath。　

Jake's　eyes　flashed　back　to　me；　his　thick；　black　brows　pushing　into　a　furious　angle　over　his　deepset　
eyes。　His　jaw　set；　and　he　marched—there　was　no　other　way　to　describe　the　way　he　moved—up　the　
sidewalk　and　shrugged　past　me　into　the　house。　

I　locked　gazes　with　first　Jared　and　then　Embry—I　didn't　like　the　hard　way　they　eyed　me；　did　they　really　
think　I　would　let　anything　hurt　Jacob？—before　I　shut　the　door　on　them。　

Jacob　was　in　the　hall　behind　me；　staring　at　the　mess　of　blankets　in　the　living　room。　

〃Slumber　party？〃　he　asked；　his　tone　sarcastic。　

〃Yeah；〃　I　answered　with　the　same　level　of　acid。　I　didn't　like　Jacob　when　he　acted　this　way。　〃What's　it　to　
you？〃　

He　wrinkled　his　nose　again　like　he　smelled　something　unpleasant。　〃Where's　your　'friend'？〃　I　could　hear　
the　quotation　marks　in　his　tone。　

〃She　had　some　errands　to　run。　Look；　Jacob；　what　do　you　want？〃　

Something　about　the　room　seemed　to　make　him　edgier—his　long　arms　were　quivering。　He　didn't　answer　
my　question。　Instead　he　moved　on　to　the　kitchen；　his　restless　eyes　darting　everywhere。　

I　followed　him。　He　paced　back　and　forth　along　the　short　counter。　

〃Hey；〃　I　said；　putting　myself　in　his　way。　He　stopped　pacing　and　stared　down　at　me。　〃What's　your　
problem？〃　

〃I　don't　like　having　to　be　here。〃　

That　stung。　I　winced；　and　his　eyes　tightened。　

〃Then　I'm　sorry　you　had　to　e；〃　I　muttered。　〃Why　don't　you　tell　me　what　you　need　so　you　can　leave？〃　

〃I　just　have　to　ask　you　a　couple　of　questions。　It　shouldn't　take　long。　We　have　to　get　back　for　the　funeral。〃　

〃Okay。　Get　it　over　with　then。〃　I　was　probably　overdoing　it　with　the　antagonism；　but　I　didn't　want　him　to　
see　how　much　this　hurt。　I　knew　I　wasn't　being　fair。　After　all；　I'd　picked　the　bloodsucker　over　him　last　
night。　I'd　hurt　him　first。　

He　took　a　deep　breath；　and　his　trembling　fingers　were　suddenly　still。　His　face　smoothed　into　a　serene　
mask。　

〃One　of　the　Cullens　is　staying　here　with　you；〃　he　stated。　

〃Yes。　Alice　Cullen。〃　

He　nodded　thoughtfully。　〃How　long　is　she　here　for？〃　

〃As　long　as　she　wants　to　be。〃　The　belligerence　was　still　there　in　my　tone。　〃It's　an　open　invitation。〃　

〃Do　you　think　you　could…　please…　explain　to　her　about　the　other　one—Victoria？〃　

I　paled。　〃I　told　her　about　that。〃　

He　nodded。　〃You　should　know　that　we　can　only　watch　our　own　lands　with　a　Cullen　here。　You'll　only　be　
safe　in　La　Push。　I　can't　protect　you　here　anymore。〃　

〃Okay；〃　I　said　in　a　small　voice。　

He　looked　away　then；　out　the　back　windows。　He　didn't　continue。　

〃Is　that　all？〃　

He　kept　his　eyes　on　the　glass　as　he　answered。　〃Just　one　more　thing。〃　

I　waited；　but　he　didn't　continue。　〃Yes？〃　I　finally　prompted。　

〃Are　the　rest　of　them　ing　back　now？〃　he　asked　in　a　cool；　quiet　voice。　It　reminded　me　of　Sam's　
always　calm　manner。　Jacob　was　being　more　like　Sam…　I　wondered　why　that　bothered　me　so　much。　

Now　I　didn't　speak。　He　looked　back　at　my　face　with　probing　eyes。　

〃Well？〃　he　asked。　He　struggled　to　conceal　the　tension　behind　his　serene　expression。　

〃No。〃　I　said　finally。　Grudgingly。　〃They　aren't　ing　back。〃　

His　expression　didn't　change。　〃Okay。　That's　all。〃　

I　glared　at　him；　annoyance　rekindled。　〃Well；　run　along　now。　Go　tell　Sam　that　the　scary　monsters　aren't　
ing　to　get　you。〃　

〃Okay；〃　he　repeated；　still　calm。　

That　seemed　to　be　it。　Jacob　walked　swiftly　from　the　kitchen。　I　waited　to　hear　the　front　door　open；　but　I　
heard　nothing。　I　could　hear　the　clock　over　the　stove　ticking；　and　I　marveled　again　at　how　quiet　he'd　
bee。　

What　a　disaster。　How　could　I　have　alienated　him　so　pletely　in　such　a　short　amount　of　time？　

Would　he　forgive　me　when　Alice　was　gone？　What　if　he　didn't？　

I　slumped　against　the　counter　and　buried　my　face　in　my　hands。　How　had　I　made　such　a　mess　of　
everything？　But　what　could　I　have　done　differently？　Even　in　hindsight；　I　couldn't　think　of　any　better　way；　
any　perfect　course　of　action。　

〃Bella…　？〃　Jacob　asked　in　a　troubled　voice。　

I　pulled　my　face　out　of　my　hands　to　see　Jacob　hesitating　in　the　kitchen　doorway；　he　hadn't　left　when　I'd　
thought。　It　was　only　when　I　saw　the　clear　drops　sparkling　in　my　hands　that　I　realized　I　was　crying。　

Jacob's　calm　expression　was　gone；　his　face　was　anxious　and　unsure。　He　walked　quickly　back　to　stand　in　
front　of　me；　ducking　his　head　so　that　his　eyes　were　closer　to　being　on　the　same　level　with　mine。　

〃Did　it　again；　didn't　I？〃　

〃Did　what？〃　I　asked；　my　voice　cracking。　

〃Broke　my　promise。　Sorry。〃　

〃'S'okay；〃　I　mumbled。　〃I　started　it　this　time。〃　

His　face　twisted。　〃I　knew　how　you　felt　about　them。　It　shouldn't　have　taken　me　by　surprise　like　that。〃　

I　could　see　the　revulsion　in　his　eyes。　I　wanted　to　explain　to　him　what　Alice　was　really　like；　to　defend　her　
against　the　judgments　he'd　made；　but　something　warned　me　that　now　was　not　the　time。　

So　I　just　said；　〃Sorry；〃　again。　

〃Let's　not　worry　about　it；　okay？　She's　just　visiting；　right？　She'll　leave；　and　things　will　go　back　to　normal。〃　

〃Can't　I　be　friends　with　you　both　at　the　same　time？〃　I　asked；　my　voice　not　hiding　an　ounce　of　the　hurt　I　
felt。　

He　shook　his　head　slowly。　〃No；　I　don't　think　you　can。〃　

I　sniffed　and　stared　at　his　big　feet。　〃But　you'll　wait；　right？　You'll　still　be　my　friend；　even　though　I　love　
Alice；　too？〃　

I　didn't　look　up；　afraid　to　see　what　he'd　think　of　that　last　part。　It　took　him　a　minute　to　answer；　so　I　was　
probably　right　not　to　look。　

〃Yeah；　I'll　always　be　your　friend；〃　he　said　gruffly。　〃No　matter　what　you　love。〃　

〃Promise？〃　

〃Promise。〃　

I　felt　his　arms　wind　around　me；　and　I　leaned　against　his　chest；　still　sniffling。　〃This　sucks。〃　

〃Yeah。〃　Then　he　sniffed　my　hair　and　said；　〃Ew。〃　

〃What？〃　I　demanded。　I　looked　up　to　see　that　his　nose　was　wrinkled　again。　〃Why　does　everyone　keep　
doing　that　to　me？　I　don't　smell！〃　

He　smiled　a　little。　〃Yes；　you　do—you　smell　like　them。　Blech。　Too　sweet—sickly　sweet。　And…　icy。　It　
burns　my　nose。〃　

〃Really？〃　That　was　strange。　Alice　smelled　unbelievably　wonderful。　To　a　human；　anyway。　〃But　why　would　
Alice　think　I　smelled；　too；　then？〃　

That　wiped　his　smile　away。　〃Huh。　Maybe　I　don't　smell　so　good　to　her；　either。　Huh。〃　

〃Well；　you　both　smell　fine　to　me。〃　I　rested　my　head　against　him　again。　I　was　going　to　miss　him　terribly　
when　he　walked　out　my　door。　It　was　a　nasty　catch22—on　the　one　hand；　I　wanted　Alice　to　stay　forever。　
I　was　going　to　die—metaphorically—when　she　left　me。　But　how　was　I　supposed　to　go　without　seeing　
Jake　for　any　length　of　time？　What　a　mess；　I　thought　again。　

〃I'll　miss　you；〃　Jacob　whispered；　echoing　my　thoughts。　〃Every　minute。　I　hope　she　leaves　soon。〃　

〃It　really　doesn't　have　to　be　that　way；　Jake。〃　

He　sighed。　〃Yes；　it　really　does。　Bella。　You…　love　her。　So　I'd　better　not　get　anywhere　near　her。　I'm　not　
sure　that　I'm　eventempered　enough　to　handle　that。　Sam　would　be　mad　if　I　broke　the　treaty；　and〃—his　
voice　turned　sarcastic—〃you　probably　wouldn't　like　it　too　much　if　I　killed　your　friend。〃　

I　recoiled　from　him　when　he　said　that；　but　he　only　tightened　his　arms；　refusing　to　let　me　escape。　〃There's　
no　point　in　avoiding　the　truth。　That's　the　way　things　are；　Bells。〃　

〃I　do　not　like　the　way　things　are。〃　

Jacob　freed　one　arm　so　that　he　could　cup　his　big　brown　hand　under　my　chin　and　make　me　look　at　him。　
〃Yeah。　It　was　easier　when　we　were　both　human；　wasn't　it？〃　

I　sighed。　

We　stared　at　each　other　for　a　long　moment。　His　hand　smoldered　against　my　skin。　In　my　face；　I　knew　
there　was　nothing　but　wistful　sadness—I　didn't　want　to　have　to　say　goodbye　now；　no　matter　for　how　
short　a　time。　At　first　his　face　reflected　mine；　but　then；　as　neither　of　us　looked　away；　his　expression　
changed。　

He　released　me；　lifting　his　other　hand　to　brush　his　fingertips　along　my　cheek；　trailing　them　down　to　my　
jaw。　I　could　feel　his　fingers　tremble—not　with　anger　this　time。　He　pressed　his　palm　against　my　cheek；　so　
that　my　face　was　trapped　between　his　burning　hands。　

〃Bella；〃　he　whispered。　

I　was　frozen。　

No！　I　hadn't　made　this　decision　yet。　I　didn't　know　if　I　could　do　this；　and　now　I　was　out　of　time　to　think。　
But　I　would　have　been　a　fool　if　I　thought　rejecting　him　now　would　have　no　consequences。　

I　stared　back　at　him。　He　was　not　my　Jacob；　but　he　could　be。　His　face　was　familiar　and　beloved。　In　so　
many　real　ways；　I　did　love　him。　He　was　my　fort；　my　safe　harbor。　Right　now；　I　could　choose　to　have　
him　belong　to　me。　

Alice　was　back　for　the　moment；　but　that　changed　nothing。　True　love　was　forever　lost。　The　prince　was　
never　ing　back　to　kiss　me　awake　from　my　enchanted　sleep。　I　was　not　a　princess；　after　all。　So　what　
was　the　fairytale　protocol　for　other　kisses？　The　mundane　kind　that　didn't　break　any　spells？　

Maybe　it　would　be　easy—like　holding　his　hand　or　having　his　arms　around　me。　Maybe　it　would　feel　nice。　
Maybe　it　wouldn't　feel　like　a　betrayal。　Besides；　who　was　I　betraying；　anyway？　Just　myself。　

Keeping　his　eyes　on　mine；　Jacob　began　to　bend　his　face　toward　me。　And　I　was　still　absolutely　
undecided。　

The　shrill　ring　of　the　phone　made　us　both　jump；　but　it　did　not　break　his　focus。　He　took　his　hand　from　
under　my　chin　and　reached　over　me　to　grab　the　receiver；　but　still　held　my　face　securely　with　the　hand　
against　my　cheek。　His　dark　eyes　did　not　free　mine。　I　was　too　muddled　to　react；　even　to　take　advantage　
of　the　distraction。　

〃Swan　residence；〃　Jacob　said；　his　husky　voice　low　and　intense。　

Someone　answered；　and　Jacob　altered　in　an　instant。　He　straightened　up；　and　his　hand　dropped　from　my　
face。　His　eyes　went　flat；　his　face　blank；　and　I　would　have　bet　the　measly　remainder　of　my　college　f　and　
that　it　was　Alice。　

I　recovered　myself　and　held　out　my　hand　for　the　phone。　Jacob　ignored　me。　

〃He's　not　here；〃　Jacob　said；　and　the　words　were　menacing。　

There　was　some　very　short　reply；　a　request　for　more　information　it　seemed；　because　he　added　
unwillingly；　〃He's　at　the　funeral。〃　

Then　Jacob　hung　up　the　phone。　〃Filthy　bloodsucker；〃　he　muttered　under　his　breath。　The　face　he　turned　
back　to　me　was　the　bitter　mask　again。　

〃Who　did　you　just　hang　up　on？〃　I　gasped；　infuriated。　〃In　my　house；　and　on　my　phone？〃　

〃Easy！　He　hung　up　on　me！〃　

〃He？　Who　was　it？！〃　

He　sneered　the　title。　〃Dr。　Carlisle　Cullen。〃　

〃Why　didn't　you　let　me　talk　to　him？！〃　

〃He　didn't　ask　for　you；〃　Jacob　said　coldly。　His　face　was　smooth；　expressionless；　but　his　hands　shook。　
〃He　asked　where　Charlie　was　and　I　told　him。　I　don't　think　I　broke　any　rules　of　etiquette。〃　

〃You　listen　to　me；　Jacob　Black—〃　

But　he　obviously　wasn't　listening。　He　looked　quickly　over　his　shoulder；　as　if　someone　had　called　his　name　
from　the　other　room。　His　eyes　went　wide　and　his　body　stiff；　then　he　started　trembling。　I　listened　too；　
automatically；　but　heard　nothing。　

〃Bye；　Bells；〃　he　spit　out；　and　wheeled　toward　the　front　door。　

I　ran　after　him。　〃What　is　it？〃　

And　then　I　ran　into　him；　as　he　rocked　back　on　his　heels；　cussing　under　his　breath。　He　spun　around　again；　
knocking　me　sideways。　I　bobbled　and　fell　to　the　floor；　my　legs　tangled　with　his。　

〃Shoot；　ow！〃　I　protested　as　he　hurriedly　jerked　his　legs　free　one　at　a　time。　

I　struggled　to　pull　myself　up　as　he　darted　for　the　back　door；　he　suddenly　froze　again。　

Al