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2 new+moon新月-第8部分

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me—being carried away by a stranger。 But there was nothing left in me to upset。 

It didn't seem like too much time passed before there were lights and the deep babble of many male 
voices。 Sam Uley slowed as he approached the motion。 

〃I've got her!〃 he called in a booming voice。 

The babble ceased; and then picked up again with more intensity。 A confusing swirl of faces moved over 
me。 Sam's voice was the only one that made sense in the chaos; perhaps because my ear was against his 
chest。 

〃No; I don't think she's hurt;〃 he told someone。 〃She just keeps saying 'He's gone。' 〃 

Was I saying that out loud? I bit down on my lip。 

〃Bella; honey; are you all right?〃 

That was one voice I would know anywhere—even distorted; as it was now; with worry。 

〃Charlie?〃 My voice sounded strange and small。 

〃I'm right here; baby。〃 

There was a shifting under me; followed by the leathery smell of my dad's sheriff jacket。 Charlie 
staggered under my weight。 

〃Maybe I should hold on to her;〃 Sam Uley suggested。 

〃I've got her;〃 Charlie said; a little breathless。 

He walked slowly; struggling。 I wished I could tell him to put me down and let me walk; but I couldn't 
find my voice。 

There were lights everywhere; held by the crowd walking with him。 It felt like a parade。 Or a funeral 
procession。 I closed my eyes。 

〃We're almost home now; honey;〃 Charlie mumbled now and then。 

I opened my eyes again when I heard the door unlock。 We were on the porch of our house; and the tall 
dark man named Sam was holding the door for Charlie; one arm extended toward us; as if he was 
preparing to catch me when Charlie's arms failed。 

But Charlie managed to get me through the door and to the couch in the living room。 

〃Dad; I'm all wet;〃 I objected feebly。 

〃That doesn't matter。〃 His voice was gruff。 And then he was talking to someone else。 〃Blankets are in the 
cupboard at the top of the stairs。〃 

〃Bella?〃 a new voice asked。 I looked at the grayhaired man leaning over me; and recognition came after 
a few slow seconds。 

〃Dr。 Gerandy?〃 I mumbled。 

〃That's right; dear;〃 he said。 〃Are you hurt; Bella?〃 

It took me a minute to think that through。 I was confused by the memory of Sam Uley's similar question 
in the woods。 Only Sam had asked something else: Have you been hurt? he'd said。 The difference 
seemed significant somehow。 

Dr。 Gerandy was waiting。 One grizzled eyebrow rose; and the wrinkles on his forehead deepened。 

〃I'm not hurt;〃 I lied。 The words; were true enough for what he'd asked。 

His warm hand touched my forehead; and his fingers pressed against the inside of my wrist。 I watched his 
lips as he counted to himself; his eyes on his watch。 

〃What happened to you?〃 he asked casually。 

I froze under his hand; tasting panic in the back of my throat。 

〃Did you get lost in the woods?〃 he prodded。 I was aware of several other people listening。 Three tall 
men with dark faces—from La Push; the Quileute Indian reservation down on the coastline; I 
guessed—Sam Uley among them; were standing very close together and staring at me。 Mr。 Newton was 
there with Mike and Mr。 Weber; Angela's father; they all were watching me more surreptitiously than the 
strangers。 Other deep voices rumbled from the kitchen and outside the front door。 Half the town must 
have been looking for me。 

Charlie was the closest。 He leaned in to hear my answer。 

〃Yes;〃 I whispered。 〃I got lost。〃 

The doctor nodded; thoughtful; his fingers probing gently against the glands under my jaw。 Charlie's face 
hardened。 

〃Do you feel tired?〃 Dr。 Gerandy asked。 

I nodded and closed my eyes obediently。 

〃I don't think there's anything wrong with her;〃 I heard the doctor mutter to Charlie after a moment。 〃Just 
exhaustion。 Let her sleep it off; and I'll e check on her tomorrow;〃 he paused。 He must have looked 
at his watch; because he added; 〃Well; later today actually。〃 

There was a creaking sound as they both pushed off from the couch to get to their feet。 

〃Is it true?〃 Charlie whispered。 Their voices were farther away now。 I strained to hear。 〃Did they leave?〃 

〃Dr。 Cullen asked us not to say anything;〃 Dr。 Gerandy answered。 〃The offer was very sudden; they had 
to choose immediately。 Carlisle didn't want to make a big production out of leaving。〃 

〃A little warning might have been nice;〃 Charlie grumbled。 

Dr。 Gerandy sounded unfortable when he replied。 〃Yes; well; in this situation; some warning might 
have been called for。〃 

I didn't want to listen anymore。 I felt around for the edge of the quilt someone had laid on top of me; and 
pulled it over my ear。 

I drifted in and out of alertness。 I heard Charlie whisper thanks to the volunteers as; one by one; they left。 
I felt his fingers on my forehead; and then the weight of another blanket。 The phone rang a few times; and 
he hurried to catch it before it could wake me。 He muttered reassurances in a low voice to the callers。 

〃Yeah; we found her。 She's okay。 She got lost。 She's fine now;〃 he said again and again。 

I heard the springs in the armchair groan when he settled himself in for the night。 

A few minutes later; the phone rang again。 

Charlie moaned as he struggled to his feet; and then he rushed; stumbling; to the kitchen I pulled my head 
deeper under the blankets; not wanting to listen to the same conversation again。 

〃Yeah;〃 Charlie said; and yawned。 

His voice changed; it was much more alert when he spoke again。 〃Where?'〃 There was a pause。 〃You're 
sure it's outside the reservation?〃 Another short pause。 〃But what could be burning out there?〃 He 
sounded both worried and mystified。 〃Look; I'll call down there and check it out。〃 

I listened with more interest as he punched in a number。 

〃Hey; Billy; it's Charlie—sorry I'm calling so early… no; she's fine。 She's sleeping… Thanks; but that's 
not why I called。 I just got a call from Mrs。 Stanley; and she says that from her secondstory window she 
can see fires out on the sea cliffs; but I didn't really… Oh!〃 Suddenly there was an edge in his 
voice—irritation… or anger。 〃And why are they doing that? Uh huh。 Really?〃 He said it sarcastically。 
〃Well; don't apologize to me。 Yeah; yeah。 Just make sure the flames don't spread… I know; I know; I'm 
surprised they got them lit at all in this weather。〃 

Charlie hesitated; and then added grudgingly。 〃Thanks for sending Sam and the other boys up。 You were 
right—they do know the forest better than we do。 It was Sam who found her; so I owe you one… Yeah; 
I'll talk to you later;〃 he agreed; still sour; before hanging up。 

Charlie muttered something incoherent as he shuffled back to the living room。 

〃What's wrong?〃 I asked。 

He hurried to my side。 

〃I'm sorry I woke you; honey。〃 

〃Is something burning?〃 

〃It's nothing;〃 he assured me。 〃Just some bonfires out on the cliffs。〃 

〃Bonfires?〃 I asked。 My voice didn't sound curious。 It sounded dead。 

Charlie frowned。 〃Some of the kids from the reservation being rowdy;〃 he explained。 

〃Why?〃 I wondered dully。 

I could tell he didn't want to answer。 He looked at the floor under his knees。 〃They're celebrating the 
news。〃 His tone was bitter。 

There was only one piece of news I could think of; try as I might not to。 And then the pieces snapped 
together。 〃Because the Cullens left;〃 I whispered。 〃They don't like the Cullens in La Push—I'd forgotten 
about that。〃 

The Quileutes had their superstitions about the 〃cold ones;〃 the blooddrinkers that were enemies to their 
tribe; just like they had their legends of the great flood and wolfmen ancestors。 Just stories; folklore; to 
most of them。 Then there were the few that believed。 Charlie's good friend Billy Black believed; though 
even Jacob; his own son; thought he was full of stupid superstitions。 Billy had warned me to stay away 
from the Cullens… 

The name stirred something inside me; something that began to claw its way toward the surface; 
something I knew I didn't want to face。 

〃It's ridiculous;〃 Charlie spluttered。 

We sat in silence for a moment。 The sky was no longer black outside the window。 Somewhere behind 
the rain; the sun was beginning to rise。 

〃Bella?〃 Charlie asked。 

I looked at him uneasily。 

〃He left you alone in the woods?〃 Charlie guessed。 

I deflected his question。 〃How did you know where to find me?〃 My mind shied away from the inevitable 
awareness that was ing; ing quickly now。 

〃Your note;〃 Charlie answered。 surprised。 He reached into the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out a 
muchabused piece of paper。 It was dirty and damp; with multiple creases from being opened and 
refolded many times。 He unfolded it again; and held it up as evidence。 The messy handwriting was 
remarkably close to my own。 

Going for a walk with Edward; up the path; it said。 Back soon; B。 

〃When you didn't e back; I called the Cullens; and no one answered;〃 Charlie said in a low voice。 
〃Then I called the hospital; and Dr。 Gerandy told me that Carlisle was gone。〃 

〃Where did they go?〃 I mumbled。 

He stared at me。 〃Didn't Edward tell you?〃 

I shook my head; recoiling。 The sound of his name unleashed the thing that was clawing inside of me—a 

pain that knocked me breathless; astonished me with its force。 

Charlie eyed me doubtfully as he answered。 〃Carlisle took a job with a big hospital in Los Angeles。 I 
guess they threw a lot of money at him。〃 

Sunny L。A。 The last place they would really go。 I remembered my nightmare with the mirror… the bright 
sunlight shimmering off of his skin— 

Agony ripped through me with the memory of his face。 

〃I want to know if Edward left you alone out there in the middle of the woods;〃 Charlie insisted。 

His name sent another wave of torture through me。 I shook my head; frantic; desperate to escape the 
pain。 〃It was my fault。 He left me right here on the trail; in sight of the house… but I tried to follow him。〃 

Charlie started to say something; childishly; I covered my ears。 〃I can't talk about this anymore; Dad。 I 
want to go to my room。〃 

Before he could answer; I scrambled up from the couch and lurched my way up the stairs。 

Someone had been in the house to leave a note for Charlie; a note that would lead him to find me。 From 
the minute that I'd realized this; a horrible suspicion began to grow in my head。 I rushed to my room; 
shutting and locking the door behind me before I ran to the CD player by my bed。 

Everything looked exactly the same as I'd left it。 I pressed down on the top of the CD player。 The latch 
unhooked; and the lid slowly swung open。 

It was empty。 

The album Renee had given me sat on the floor beside the bed; just where I'd put it last。 I lifted the cover 
with a shaking hand。 

I didn't have to flip any farther than the first page。 The little metal corners no longer held a picture in 
place。 The page was blank except for my own handwriting scrawled across the bottom: Edward Cullen; 
Charlie's kitchen; Sept。 13th。 

I stopped there。 I was sure that he would have been very thorough。 

It will be as if I'd never existed; he'd promised me。 

I felt the smooth wooden floor beneath my knees; and then the palms of my hands; and then it was 
pressed against the skin of my cheek。 I hoped that I was fainting; but; to my disappointment; I didn't lose 
consciousness。 The waves of pain that had only lapped at me before now reared high up and washed 
over my head; pulling me under。 

I did not resurface。 

OCTOBER 




NOVEMBER 

DECEMBER 




JANUARY 




4。 WAKING UP 




TIME PASSES。 EVEN WHEN IT SEEMS IMPOSSIBLE。 EVEN when each tick of the second hand 
aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise。 It passes unevenly; in strange lurches and dragging lulls; but 
pass it does。 Even for me。 




CHARLIE'S FIST CAME DOWN ON THE TABLE。 〃THAT'S IT; Bella! I'm sending you home。〃 

I looked up from my cereal; which I was pondering rather than eating; and stared at Charlie in shock。 I 
hadn't been following the conversation—actually; I hadn't been aware that we were having a 
conversation—and I wasn't sure what he meant。 

〃I am home;〃 I mumbled; confused。 

〃I'm sending you to Renee; to Jacksonville;〃 he clarified。 

Charlie watched with exasperation as I slowly grasped the meaning of his words。 

〃What did I do?〃 I felt my face crumple。 It was so unfair。 My behavior had been above reproach for the 
past four months。 After that first week; which neither of us ever mentioned; I hadn't missed a day of 
school or work。 My grades were perfect。 I never broke curfew—I never went anywhere from which to 
break curfew in the first place。 I only very rarely served leftovers。 

Charlie was scowling。 

〃You didn't do anything。 That's the problem。 You never do anything。〃 

〃You want me to get into trouble?〃 I wondered; my eyebrows pulling together in mystification。 I made an 
effort to pay attention。 It wasn't easy。 I was so used to tuning everything out; my ears felt stopped up。 

〃Trouble would be better than this… this moping around all the time!〃 

That stung a bit。 I'd been careful to avoid all forms of moroseness; moping included。 

〃I am not moping around。〃 

〃Wrong word;〃 he grudgingly conceded。 〃Moping would be better—that would be doing something。 
You're just… lifeless; Bella。 I think that's the word I want。〃 

This accusation struck home。 I sighed and tried to put some animation into my response。 

〃I'm sorry; Dad。〃 My apology sounded a little flat; even to me。 I'd thought I'd been fooling him。 Keeping 
Charlie from suffering was the whole point of all this effort。 How depressing to think that the effort had 
been wasted。 

〃I don't want you to apologize。〃 

I sighed。 〃Then tell me what you do want me to do。〃 

〃Bella;〃 he hesitated; scrutinizing my reaction to his next words。 〃Honey; you're not the first person to go 
through this kind of thing; you know。〃 

〃I know that。〃 My acpanying grimace was limp and unimpressive。 

〃Listen; honey。 I think that—that maybe you need some help。〃 

〃Help?〃 

He paused; searching for the words again。 〃When your mother left;〃 he began; frowning; 〃and took you 
with her。〃 He inhaled deeply。 〃Well; that was a really bad time for me。〃 

〃I know; Dad;〃 I mumbled。 

〃But I handled it;〃 he pointed out。 〃Honey; you're not handling it。 I waited; I hoped it would get better。〃 
He stared at me and I looked down quickly。 〃I think we both know it's not getting better。〃 

〃I'mfine。〃 

He ignored me。 〃Maybe; well; maybe if you talked to someone about it。 A professional。〃 

〃You want me to see a shrink?〃 My voice was a shade sharper as I realized what he was getting at。 

〃Maybe it would help。〃 

〃And maybe it wouldn't help one little bit。〃 

I didn't know much about psychoanalysis; but I was pretty sure that it didn't work unless the subject was 
relatively honest。 Sure; I could tell the truth—if I wanted to spend the rest of my life in a padded cell。 

He examined my obstinate expression; and switched to another line of attack。 

〃It's beyond me; Bella。 Maybe your mother—〃 

〃Look;〃 I said in a flat voice。 〃I'll go out tonight; if you want。 I'll call Jess or Angela。〃
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