[夜与日].(night.and.day).(英)弗吉尼亚·伍尔芙.文字版-第61部分

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without　embarrassment　or　apology：　

“I　don’t　see　why　I　should　answer　Aunt　Celia’s　questions。　
I’ve　told　her　already　that　I　won’t。”　

Mr。　Hilbery　was　relieved　and　secretly　amused　at　the　
thought　of　the　interview；　although　he　could　not　license　
such　irreverence　outwardly。　

“Very　good。　Then　you　authorize　me　to　tell　her　that　she’s　
been　mistaken；　and　there　was　nothing　but　a　little　fun　in　
it？　You’ve　no　doubt；　Katharine；　in　your　own　mind？　
Cassandra　is　in　our　charge；　and　I　don’t　intend　that　people　
should　gossip　about　her。　I　suggest　that　you　should　be　a　
little　more　careful　in　future。　Invite　me　to　your　next　entertainment。”　


She　did　not　respond；　as　he　had　hoped；　with　any　affectionate　
or　humorous　reply。　She　meditated；　pondering　

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Night　and　Day　

something　or　other；　and　he　reflected　that　even　his　
Katharine　did　not　differ　from　other　women　in　the　capacity　
to　let　things　be。　Or　had　she　something　to　say？　

“Have　you　a　guilty　conscience？”　he　inquired　lightly。　
“Tell　me；　Katharine；”　he　said　more　seriously；　struck　by　
something　in　the　expression　of　her　eyes。　

“I’ve　been　meaning　to　tell　you　for　some　time；”　she　said；　
“I’m　not　going　to　marry　William。”　

“You’re　not　going—！”　he　exclaimed；　dropping　the　poker　
in　his　immense　surprise。　“Why？　When？　Explain　yourself；　
Katharine。”　

“Oh；　some　time　ago—a　week；　perhaps　more。”　Katharine　
spoke　hurriedly　and　indifferently；　as　if　the　matter　could　
no　longer　concern　any　one。　

“But　may　I　ask—why　have　I　not　been　told　of　this—　
what　do　you　mean　by　it？”　

“We　don’t　wish　to　be　married—that’s　all。”　

“This　is　William’s　wish　as　well　as　yours？”　

“Oh；　yes。　We　agree　perfectly。”　

Mr。　Hilbery　had　seldom　felt　more　pletely　at　a　loss。　
He　thought　that　Katharine　was　treating　the　matter　with　

curious　unconcern；　she　scarcely　seemed　aware　of　the　gravity　
of　what　she　was　saying；　he　did　not　understand　the　
position　at　all。　But　his　desire　to　smooth　everything　over　
fortably　came　to　his　relief。　No　doubt　there　was　some　
quarrel；　some　whimsey　on　the　part　of　William；　who；　though　
a　good　fellow；　was　a　little　exacting　sometimes—something　
that　a　woman　could　put　right。　But　though　he　inclined　
to　take　the　easiest　view　of　his　responsibilities；　he　
cared　too　much　for　this　daughter　to　let　things　be。　

“I　confess　I　find　great　difficulty　in　following　you。　I　
should　like　to　hear　William’s　side　of　the　story；”　he　said　
irritably。　“I　think　he　ought　to　have　spoken　to　me　in　the　
first　instance。”　

“I　wouldn’t　let　him；”　said　Katharine。　“I　know　it　must　
seem　to　you　very　strange；”　she　added。　“But　I　assure　you；　
if　you’d　wait　a　little—until　mother　es　back。”　

This　appeal　for　delay　was　much　to　Mr。　Hilbery’s　liking。　
But　his　conscience　would　not　suffer　it。　People　were　talking。　
He　could　not　endure　that　his　daughter’s　conduct　
should　be　in　any　way　considered　irregular。　He　wondered　
whether；　in　the　circumstances；　it　would　be　better　to　wire　

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to　his　wife；　to　send　for　one　of　his　sisters；　to　forbid　William　
the　house；　to　pack　Cassandra　off　home—for　he　was　vaguely　
conscious　of　responsibilities　in　her　direction；　too。　His　forehead　
was　being　more　and　more　wrinkled　by　the　multiplicity　
of　his　anxieties；　which　he　was　sorely　tempted　to　ask　
Katharine　to　solve　for　him；　when　the　door　opened　and　
William　Rodney　appeared。　This　necessitated　a　plete　
change；　not　only　of　manner；　but　of　position　also。　

“Here’s　William；”　Katharine　exclaimed；　in　a　tone　of　relief。　
“I’ve　told　father　we’re　not　engaged；”　she　said　to　him。　
“I’ve　explained　that　I　prevented　you　from　telling　him。”　

William’s　manner　was　marked　by　the　utmost　formality。　
He　bowed　very　slightly　in　the　direction　of　Mr。　Hilbery；　
and　stood　erect；　holding　one　lapel　of　his　coat；　and　gazing　
into　the　center　of　the　fire。　He　waited　for　Mr。　Hilbery　
to　speak。　

Mr。　Hilbery　also　assumed　an　appearance　of　formidable　
dignity。　He　had　risen　to　his　feet；　and　now　bent　the　top　
part　of　his　body　slightly　forward。　

“I　should　like　your　account　of　this　affair；　Rodney—if　
Katharine　no　longer　prevents　you　from　speaking。”　

William　waited　two　seconds　at　least。　

“Our　engagement　is　at　an　end；”　he　said；　with　the　utmost　
stiffness。　

“Has　this　been　arrived　at　by　your　joint　desire？”　

After　a　perceptible　pause　William　bent　his　head；　and　
Katharine　said；　as　if　by　an　afterthought：　

“Oh；　yes。”　

Mr。　Hilbery　swayed　to　and　fro；　and　moved　his　lips　as　if　
to　utter　remarks　which　remained　unspoken。　

“I　can　only　suggest　that　you　should　postpone　any　decision　
until　the　effect　of　this　misunderstanding　has　had　
time　to　wear　off。　You　have　now　known　each　other—”　he　
began。　

“There’s　been　no　misunderstanding；”　Katharine　interposed。　
“Nothing　at　all。”　She　moved　a　few　paces　across　
the　room；　as　if　she　intended　to　leave　them。　Her　preoccupied　
naturalness　was　in　strange　contrast　to　her　father’s　
pomposity　and　to　William’s　military　rigidity。　He　had　not　
once　raised　his　eyes。　Katharine’s　glance；　on　the　other　
hand；　ranged　past　the　two　gentlemen；　along　the　books；　
over　the　tables；　towards　the　door。　She　was　paying　the　

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least　possible　attention；　it　seemed；　to　what　was　happening。　
Her　father　looked　at　her　with　a　sudden　clouding　and　
troubling　of　his　expression。　Somehow　his　faith　in　her　stability　
and　sense　was　queerly　shaken。　He　no　longer　felt　
that　he　could　ultimately　entrust　her　with　the　whole　conduct　
of　her　own　affairs　after　a　superficial　show　of　directing　
them。　He　felt；　for　the　first　time　in　many　years；　responsible　
for　her。　

“Look　here；　we　must　get　to　the　bottom　of　this；”　he　
said；　dropping　his　formal　manner　and　addressing　Rodney　
as　if　Katharine　were　not　present。　“You’ve　had　some　difference　
of　opinion；　eh？　Take　my　word　for　it；　most　people　
go　through　this　sort　of　thing　when　they’re　engaged。　I’ve　
seen　more　trouble　e　from　long　engagements　than　from　
any　other　form　of　human　folly。　Take　my　advice　and　put　
the　whole　matter　out　of　your　minds—both　of　you。　I　prescribe　
a　plete　abstinence　from　emotion。　Visit　some　
cheerful　seaside　resort；　Rodney。”　

He　was　struck　by　William’s　appearance；　which　seemed　
to　him　to　indicate　profound　feeling　resolutely　held　in　
check。　No　doubt；　he　reflected；　Katharine　had　been　very　

trying；　unconsciously　trying；　and　had　driven　him　to　take　
up　a　position　which　was　none　of　his　willing。　Mr。　Hilbery　
certainly　did　not　overrate　William’s　sufferings。　No　minutes　
in　his　life　had　hitherto　extorted　from　him　such　intensity　
of　anguish。　He　was　now　facing　the　consequences　
of　his　insanity。　He　must　confess　himself　entirely　and　fundamentally　
other　than　Mr。　Hilbery　thought　him。　Everything　
was　against　him。　Even　the　Sunday　evening　and　the　
fire　and　the　tranquil　library　scene　were　against　him。　Mr。　
Hilbery’s　appeal　to　him　as　a　man　of　the　world　was　terribly　
against　him。　He　was　no　longer　a　man　of　any　world　that　
Mr。　Hilbery　cared　to　recognize。　But　some　power　pelled　
him；　as　it　had　pelled　him　to　e　downstairs；　to　
make　his　stand　here　and　now；　alone　and　unhelped　by　any　
one；　without　prospect　of　reward。　He　fumbled　with　various　
phrases；　and　then　jerked　out：　

“I　love　Cassandra。”　

Mr。　Hilbery’s　face　turned　a　curious　dull　purple。　He　looked　
at　his　daughter。　He　nodded　his　head；　as　if　to　convey　his　
silent　mand　to　her　to　leave　the　room；　but　either　she　
did　not　notice　it　or　preferred　not　to　obey。　

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“You　have　the　impudence—”　Mr。　Hilbery　began；　in　a　
dull；　low　voice　that　he　himself　had　never　heard　before；　
when　there　was　a　scuffling　and　exclaiming　in　the　hall；　
and　Cassandra；　who　appeared　to　be　insisting　against　some　
dissuasion　on　the　part　of　another；　burst　into　the　room。　

“Uncle　Trevor；”　she　exclaimed；　“I　insist　upon　telling　
you　the　truth！”　She　flung　herself　between　Rodney　and　
her　uncle；　as　if　she　sought　to　intercept　their　blows。　As　
her　uncle　stood　perfectly　still；　looking　very　large　and　imposing；　
and　as　nobody　spoke；　she　shrank　back　a　little；　
and　looked　first　at　Katharine　and　then　at　Rodney。　“You　
must　know　the　truth；”　she　said；　a　little　lamely。　

“You　have　the　impudence　to　tell　me　this　in　Katharine’s　
presence？”　Mr。　Hilbery　continued；　speaking　with　plete　
disregard　of　Cassandra’s　interruption。　

“I　am　aware；　quite　aware—”　Rodney’s　words；　which　were　
broken　in　sense；　spoken　after　a　pause；　and　with　his　eyes　
upon　the　ground；　nevertheless　expressed　an　astonishing　
amount　of　resolution。　“I　am　quite　aware　what　you　must　
think　of　me；”　he　brought　out；　looking　Mr。　Hilbery　directly　
in　the　eyes　for　the　first　time。　

“I　could　express　my　views　on　the　subject　more　fully　if　
we　were　alone；”　Mr。　Hilbery　returned。　

“But　you　forget　me；”　said　Katharine。　She　moved　a　little　
towards　Rodney；　and　her　movement　seemed　to　testify　
mutely　to　her　respect　for　him；　and　her　alliance　with　him。　
“I　think　William　has　behaved　perfectly　rightly；　and；　after　
all；　it　is　I　who　am　concerned—I　and　Cassandra。”　

Cassandra；　too；　gave　an　indescribably　slight　movement　
which　seemed　to　draw　the　three　of　them　into　alliance　
together。　Katharine’s　tone　and　glance　made　Mr。　Hilbery　
once　more　feel　pletely　at　a　loss；　and　in　addition；　
painfully　and　angrily　obsolete；　but　in　spite　of　an　awful　
inner　hollowness　he　was　outwardly　posed。　

“Cassandra　and　Rodney　have　a　perfect　right　to　settle　
their　own　affairs　according　to　their　own　wishes；　but　I　see　
no　reason　why　they　should　do　so　either　in　my　room　or　in　
my　house…　。　I　wish　to　be　quite　clear　on　this　point；　however；　
you　are　no　longer　engaged　to　Rodney。”　

He　paused；　and　his　pause　seemed　to　signify　that　he　
was　extremely　thankful　for　his　daughter’s　deliverance。　

Cassandra　turned　to　Katharine；　who　drew　her　breath　as　

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Night　and　Day　

if　to　speak　and　checked　herself；　Rodney；　too；　seemed　to　
await　some　movement　on　her　part；　her　father　glanced　at　
her　as　if　he　half　anticipated　some　further　revelation。　She　
remained　perfectly　silent。　In　the　silence　they　heard　distinctly　
steps　descending　the　staircase；　and　Katharine　went　
straight　to　the　door。　

“Wait；”　Mr。　Hilbery　manded。　“I　wish　to　speak　to　
you—alone；”　he　added。　

She　paused；　holding　the　door　ajar。　

“I’ll　e　back；”　she　said；　and　as　she　spoke　she　opened　the　
door　and　went　out。　They　could　hear　her　immediately　speak　to　
some　one　outside；　though　the　words　were　inaudible。　

Mr。　Hilbery　was　left　confronting　the　guilty　couple；　who　
remained　standing　as　if　they　did　not　accept　their　dismissal；　
and　the　disappearance　of　Katharine　had　brought　
some　change　into　the　situation。　So；　in　his　secret　heart；　
Mr。　Hilbery　felt　that　it　had；　for　he　could　not　explain　his　
daughter’s　behavior　to　his　own　satisfaction。　

“Uncle　Trevor；”　Cassandra　exclaimed　impulsively；　“don’t　
be　angry；　please。　I　couldn’t　help　it；　I　do　beg　you　to　forgive　
me。”　

Her　uncle　still　refused　to　acknowledge　her　identity；　and　
still　talked　over　her　head　as　if　she　did　not　exist。　

“I　suppose　you　have　municated　with　the　Otways；”　
he　said　to　Rodney　grimly。　

“Uncle　Trevor；　we　wanted　to　tell　you；”　Cassandra　replied　
for　him。　“We　waited—”　she　looked　appealingly　at　
Rodney；　who　shook　his　head　ever　so　slightly。　

“Yes？　What　were　you　waiting　for？”　her　uncle　asked　
sharply；　looking　at　her　at　last。　

The　words　died　on　her　lips。　It　was　apparent　that　she　
was　straining　her　ears　as　if　to　catch　some　sound　outside　
the　room　that　would　e　to　her　help。　He　received　no　
answer。　He　listened；　too。　

“This　is　a　most　unpleasant　business　for　all　parties；”　he　
concluded；　sinking　into　his　chair　again；　hunching　his　
shoulders　and　regarding　the　flames。　He　seemed　to　speak　
to　himself；　and　Rodney　and　Cassandra　looked　at　him　in　
silence。　

“Why　don’t　you　sit　down？”　he　said　suddenly。　He　spoke　
gruffly；　but　the　force　of　his　anger　was　evidently　spent；　or　
some　preoccupation　had　turned　his　mood　to　other　re


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gions。　While　Cassandra　accepted　his　invitation；　Rodney　
remained　standing。　

“I　think　Cassandra　can　explain　matters　better　in　my　
absence；”　he　said；　and　left　the　room；　Mr。　Hilbery　giving　
his　assent　by　a　slight　nod　of　the　head。　

Meanwhile；　in　the　diningroom　next　door；　Denham　and　
Katharine　were　once　more　seated　at　the　mahogany　table。　
They　seemed　to　be　continuing　a　conversation　broken　off　
in　the　middle；　as　if　each　remembered　the　precise　point　at　
which　they　had　been　interrupted；　and　was　eager　to　go　on　
as　quickly　as　possible。　Katharine；　having　interposed　a　
short　account　of　the　interview　with　her　father；　Denham　
made　no　ment；　but　said：　

“Anyhow；　there’s　no　reason　why　we　shouldn’t　see　each　
other。”　

“Or　stay　together。　It’s　only　marriage　that’s　out　of　the　
question；”　Katharine　replied。　

“But　if　I　find　myself　ing　to　want　you　more　and　
more？”　

“If　our　lapses　e　more　and　more　often？”　

He　sighed　impatiently；　and　said　nothing　for　a　moment。　

“But　at　least；”　he　renewed；　“we’ve　established　the　fact　
that　my　lapses　are　still　in　some　odd　way　connected　with　
you；　yours　have　nothing　to　do　with　me。　Katharine；”　he　
added；　his　assumption　of　reason　broken　up　by　his　agitation；　
“I　assure　you　that　we　are　in　love—what　other　people　
call　love。　Remember　that　night。　We　had　no　doubts　whatever　
then。　We　were　absolutely　happy　for　half　an　hour。　You　
had　no　lapse　until　the　day　after；　I　had　no　lapse　until　yesterday　
morning。　We’ve　been　happy　at　intervals　all　day　until　
I—went　off　my　head；　and　you；　quite　naturally；　were　bored。”　

“Ah；”　she　exclaimed；　as　if　the　subject　chafed　her；　“I　can’t　
make　you　understand。　It’s　not　boredom—I’m　never　bored。　
Reality—reality；”　she　ejaculated；　tapping　her　finger　upon　
the　table　as　if　to　emphasize　and　perhaps　explain　her　isolated　
utterance　of　this　word。　“I　cease　to　be　real　to　you。　It’s　
the　faces　in　a　storm　again—the　vision　in　a　hurricane。　We　
e　together　for　a　moment　and　we　part。　It’s　my　fault；　
too。　I’m　as　bad　as　you　are—worse；　perhaps。”　

They　were　trying　to　explain；　not　for　the　first　time；　as　
their　weary　gestures　and　frequent　interruptions　showed；　
what　in　their　mon　language　they　had　christened　their　

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Night　and　Day　

“lapses”；　a　constant　source　of　distress　to　them；　in　the　
past　few　days；　and　the　immediate　reason　why　Ralph　was　
on　his　way　to　leave　the　house　when　Katharine；　listening　
anxiously；　heard　him　and　prevented　him。　What　was　the　
cause　of　these　lapses？　Either　because　Katharine　looked　
more　beautiful；　or　more　strange；　because　she　wore　something　
different；　or　said　something　unexpected；　Ralph’s　
sense　of　her　romance　welled　up　and　overcame　him　either　
into　silence　or　into　inarticulate　expressions；　which　
Katharine；　with　unintentional　but　invariable　perversity；　
interrupted　or　contradicted　with　some　severity　or　assertion　
of　prosaic　fact。　Then　the　vision　disappeared；　and　
Ralph　expressed　vehemently　in　his　turn　the　conviction　
that　he　only　loved　her　shadow　and　cared　nothing　for　her　
reality。　If　the　lapse　was　on　her　side　it　took　the　form　of　
gradual　detachment　until　she　became　pletely　absorbed　
in　her　own　thoughts；　which　carried　her　away　with　such　
intensity　that　she