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cence；　and　I　d　been　only　nine　months　away　from　my　eighteenth　birthday　when　the　influenza　had　struck　I　had　just　vague　impressions　of　those　human　years；　murky　memories　that　faded　more　with　every　passing　decade。　I　remembered　my　mother　most　clearly；　and　felt　an　ancient　ache　when　I　thought　of　her　face。　I　recalled　dimly　how　much　she　had　hated　the　future　I　d　raced　eagerly　toward；　praying　every　night　when　she　said　grace　at　dinner　that　the　horrid　war　would　end　I　had　no　memories　of　another　kind　of　yearning。　Besides　my　mother　s　love；　there　was　no　other　love　that　had　made　me　wish　to　stay　This　was　entirely　new　to　me。　I　had　no　parallels　to　draw；　no　parisons　to　make。　I　The　love　I　felt　for　Bella　had　e　purely；　but　now　the　waters　were　muddied。　wanted　very　much　to　be　able　to　touch　her。　Did　she　feel　the　same　way？　That　didn　t　matter；　I　tried　to　convince　myself。　I　stared　at　my　white　hands；　hating　their　hardness；　their　coldness；　their　inhuman　strength　I　jumped　when　the　passenger　door　opened。　Ha。　Caught　you　by　surprise。　There　s　a　first；　Emmett　thought　as　he　slid　into　the　seat。　I　ll　bet　Mrs。　Goff　thinks　you　re　on　drugs；　you　ve　been　so　erratic　lately。　Where　were　you　today？　I　was　doing　good　deeds。　Huh？　I　chuckled。　Caring　for　the　sick；　that　kind　of　thing。

That　confused　him　more；　but　then　he　inhaled　and　caught　the　scent　in　the　car。　Oh。　The　girl　again？　I　grimaced。　This　is　getting　weird。　Tell　me　about　it；　I　mumbled。　He　inhaled　again。　Hmm；　she　does　have　a　quite　a　flavor；　doesn　t　she？　The　snarl　broke　through　my　lips　before　his　words　had　even　registered　all　the　way；　an　automatic　response。　Easy；　kid；　I　m　just　sayin。　The　others　arrived　then。　Rosalie　noticed　the　scent　at　once　and　glowered　at　me；　still　not　over　her　irritation。　I　wondered　what　her　problem　was；　but　all　I　could　hear　from　her　were　insults。　I　didn　t　like　Jasper　s　reaction；　either。　Like　Emmett；　he　noticed　Bella　s　appeal。　Not　that　the　scent　had；　for　either　of　them；　a　thousandth　portion　of　the　draw　it　had　for　me。　I　was　still　upset　me　that　her　blood　was　sweet　to　them。　Jasper　had　poor　control　Alice　skipped　to　my　side　of　the　car　and　held　her　hand　out　for　Bella　s　truck　key。　I　only　saw　that　I　was；　she　said　obscurely；　as　was　her　habit。　tell　me　the　whys。　This　doesn　t　mean　I　know；　I　know。　I　ll　wait。　It　won　t　be　long。　You　ll　have　to　I　sighed　and　gave　her　the　key。　I　followed　her　to　Bella　s　house。　The　rain　was　pounding　down　like　a　million　tiny　hammers；　so　loud　that　maybe　Bella　s　human　ears　couldn　t　hear　the　thunder　of　the　truck　s　engine。　I　watched　her　window；　but　she　didn　t　e　to　look　out。　Maybe　she　wasn　t　there。　There　were　no　thoughts　to　hear。　It　made　me　sad　that　I　couldn　t　hear　enough　even　to　check　on　her　to　make　sure　she　was　happy；　or　safe；　at　the　least。　Alice　climbed　in　the　back　and　we　sped　home。　The　roads　were　empty；　and　so　it　only　took　a　few　minutes。　We　trooped　into　the　house；　and　then　went　to　our　various　pastimes。　Emmett　and　Jasper　were　in　the　middle　of　an　elaborate　game　of　chess；　utilizing　eight　joined　boards　spread　out　along　the　glass　back　wall　and　their　own　plicated　set　of　rules。　They　wouldn　t　let　me　play；　only　Alice　would　play　games　with　me　anymore。　Alice　went　to　her　puter　just　around　the　corner　from　them　and　I　could　hear　her　monitors　sing　to　life。　Alice　was　working　on　a　fashion　design　project　for　Rosalie　s　wardrobe；　but　Rosalie　did　not　join　her　today；　to　stand　behind　her　and　direct　cut　and　color　as　Alice　s　hand　traced　over　the　touch　sensitive　screens

（Carlisle　and　I　had　had　to　tweak　that　system　a　bit；　given　that　most　such　screens　responded　to　temperature）。　Instead；　today　Rosalie　sprawled　sullenly　on　the　sofa　and　started　flipping　through　twenty　channels　a　second　on　the　flat　screen；　never　pausing。　I　could　hear　her　trying　to　decide　whether　or　not　to　go　out　to　the　garage　and　tune　her　BMW　again。　Esme　was　upstairs；　humming　over　a　new　set　of　blue　prints。　Alice　leaned　her　head　around　the　wall　after　a　moment　and　started　mouthing　Emmett　s　next　moves　Emmett　sat　on　the　floor　with　his　back　to　her　to　Jasper；　who　kept　his　expression　very　smooth　as　he　cut　off　Emmett　s　favorite　knight。　And　I；　for　the　first　time　in　so　long　that　I　felt　ashamed；　went　to　sit　at　the　exquisite　grand　piano　stationed　just　off　the　entryway。　I　ran　my　hand　gently　up　the　scales；　testing　the　pitch。　perfect。　The　tuning　was　still　Upstairs；　Esme　paused　what　she　was　doing　and　cocked　her　head　to　the　side。　I　began　the　first　line　of　the　tune　that　had　suggested　itself　to　me　in　the　car　today；　pleased　that　it　sounded　even　better　than　I　d　imagined。　Edward　is　playing　again；　Esme　thought　joyously；　a　smile　breaking　across　her　face。　She　got　up　from　her　desk；　and　flitted　silently　to　the　head　of　the　stairs。　I　added　a　harmonizing　line；　letting　the　central　melody　weave　through　it。　Esme　sighed　with　contentment；　sat　down　on　the　top　step；　and　leaned　her　head　against　the　banister。　A　new　song。　It　s　been　so　long。　What　a　lovely　tune。　I　let　the　melody　lead　in　a　new　direction；　following　it　with　the　bass　line。　Edward　is　posing　again？　Rosalie　thought；　and　her　teeth　clenched　together　in　fierce　resentment。　In　that　moment；　she　slipped；　and　I　could　read　all　her　underlying　outrage。　I　saw　why　she　was　in　such　a　poor　temper　with　me。　Why　killing　Isabella　Swan　had　not　bothered　her　conscience　at　all。　With　Rosalie；　it　was　always　about　vanity。　The　music　came　to　an　abrupt　halt；　and　I　laughed　before　I　could　help　myself；　a　sharp　bark　of　amusement　that　broke　off　quickly　as　I　threw　my　hand　over　my　mouth。　Rosalie　turned　to　glare　at　me；　her　eyes　sparking　with　chagrined　fury。　Emmett　and　Jasper　turned　to　stare；　too；　and　I　heard　Esme　s　confusion。　downstairs　in　a　flash；　pausing　to　glance　between　Rosalie　and　me。　Don　t　stop；　Edward；　Esme　encouraged　after　a　strained　moment。　I　started　playing　again；　turning　my　back　on　Rosalie　while　trying　very　hard　to　control　the　grin　stretching　across　my　face。　She　got　to　her　feet　and　stalked　out　of　the　room；　more　angry　than　embarrassed。　But　certainly　quite　embarrassed。　If　you　say　anything　I　will　hunt　you　like　a　dog。　I　smothered　another　laugh。　Esme　was

What　s　wrong；　Rose？　Emmett　called　after　her。　Rosalie　didn　t　turn。　She　continued；　back　ramrod　straight；　to　the　garage　and　then　squirmed　under　her　car　as　if　she　could　bury　herself　there。　What　s　that　about？　Emmett　asked　me。　I　don　t　have　the　faintest　idea；　I　lied。　Emmett　grumbled；　frustrated。　Keep　playing；　Esme　urged。　My　hands　had　paused　again。　I　did　as　she　asked；　and　she　came　to　stand　behind　me；　putting　her　hands　on　my　shoulders。　The　song　was　pelling；　but　inplete。　seem　right　somehow。　It　s　charming。　Not　yet。　Is　there　a　story　to　it？　she　asked；　a　smile　in　her　voice。　This　gave　her　very　great　pleasure；　and　I　felt　guilty　for　having　neglected　my　music　for　so　long。　It　had　been　selfish。　It　s　a　lullaby；　I　suppose。　I　got　the　bridge　right　then。　next　movement；　taking　on　a　life　of　its　own。　A　lullaby；　she　repeated　to　herself。　There　was　a　story　to　this　melody；　and　once　I　saw　that；　the　pieces　fell　into　place　effortlessly。　The　story　was　a　sleeping　girl　in　a　narrow　bed；　dark　hair　thick　and　wild　and　twisted　like　seaweed　across　the　pillow　Alice　left　Jasper　to　his　own　devices　and　came　to　sit　next　to　me　on　the　bench。　In　her　trilling；　wind　chime　voice；　she　sketched　out　a　wordless　descant　two　octaves　above　the　melody。　I　like　it；　I　murmured。　But　how　about　this？　It　led　easily　to　the　Does　it　have　a　name？　I　toyed　with　a　bridge；　but　it　didn　t　Esme　asked。　I　added　her　line　to　the　harmony　my　hands　were　flying　across　the　keys　now　to　work　all　the　pieces　together　modifying　it　a　bit；　taking　it　in　a　new　direction　She　caught　the　mood；　and　sung　along。　Yes。　Perfect；　I　said。　Esme　squeezed　my　shoulder。　But　I　could　see　the　end　now；　with　Alice　s　voice　rising　above　the　tune　and　taking　it　to　another　place。　I　could　see　how　the　song　must　end；　because　the　sleeping　girl　was　perfect　just　the　way　she　was；　and　any　change　at　all　would　be　wrong；　a　sadness。　The　song　drifted　toward　that　realization；　slower　and　lower　now。　Alice　s　voice　lowered；　too；　and　became　solemn；　a　tone　that　belonged　under　the　echoing　arches　of　a　candlelit　cathedral。　I　played　the　last　note；　and　then　bowed　my　head　over　the　keys。

Esme　stroked　my　hair。　It　s　going　to　be　fine；　Edward。　This　is　going　to　work　out　for　the　best。　You　deserve　happiness；　my　son。　Fate　owes　you　that。　Thanks；　I　whispered；　wishing　I　could　believe　it。　Love　doesn　t　always　e　in　convenient　packages。　I　laughed　once　without　humor。　You；　out　of　everyone　on　this　pla；　are　perhaps　best　equipped　to　deal　with　such　a　difficult　quandary。　You　are　the　best　and　the　brightest　of　us　all。　I　sighed。　Every　mother　thought　the　same　of　her　son。　Esme　was　still　full　of　joy　that　my　heart　had　finally　been　touched　after　all　this　time；　no　matter　the　potential　for　tragedy。　She　d　thought　I　would　always　be　alone　She　ll　have　to　love　you　back；　she　thought　suddenly；　catching　me　by　surprise　with　the　direction　of　her　thoughts。　If　she　s　a　bright　girl。　She　smiled。　But　I　can　t　imagine　anyone　being　so　slow　they　wouldn　t　see　the　catch　you　are。　Stop　it；　Mom；　you　re　making　me　blush；　I　teased。　did　cheer　me。　Her　words；　though　improbable；　Alice　laughed　and　picked　out　the　top　hand　of　Heart　and　Soul。　I　grinned　and　pleted　the　simple　harmony　with　her。　Then　I　favored　her　with　a　performance　of　Chopsticks。　She　giggled；　then　sighed。　So　I　wish　you　d　tell　me　what　you　were　laughing　at　Rose　about；　Alice　said。　But　I　can　see　that　you　won　t。　Nope。　She　flicked　my　ear　with　her　finger。　Be　nice；　Alice；　Esme　chided。　But　I　want　to　know。　I　laughed　at　the　whining　tone　she　put　on。　Then　I　said；　Here；　Esme；　and　began　playing　her　favorite　song；　an　unnamed　tribute　to　the　love　I　d　watched　between　her　and　Carlisle　for　so　many　years。　Thank　you；　dear。　She　squeezed　my　shoulder　again。　Edward　is　being　a　gentleman。　I　didn　t　have　to　concentrate　to　play　the　familiar　piece。　Instead　I　thought　of　Rosalie；　still　figuratively　writhing　in　mortification　in　the　garage；　and　I　grinned　to　myself。　Having　just　discovered　the　potency　of　jealousy　for　myself；　I　had　a　small　amount　of　pity　for　her。　It　was　a　wretched　way　to　feel。　Of　course；　her　jealously　was　a　thousand　times　more　petty　than　mine。　Quite　the　fox　in　the　manger　scenario。　I　wondered　how　Rosalie　s　life　and　personality　would　have　been　different　if　she　had　not　always　been　the　most　beautiful。　Would　she　have　been　a　happier　person　if　beauty　hadn　t　at　all　times　been　her　strongest　selling　point？　Less　egocentric？　More　passionate？　Well；　I　supposed　it　was　useless　to　wonder；　because　the　past

was　done；　and　she　always　had　been　the　most　beautiful。　Even　when　human；　she　had　ever　lived　in　the　spotlight　of　her　own　loveliness。　Not　that　she　d　minded。　The　opposite　she　d　loved　admiration　above　almost　anything　else。　That　hadn　t　changed　with　the　loss　of　her　mortality。　It　was　no　surprise　then；　taking　this　need　as　a　given；　that　she　d　been　offended　when　I　had　not；　from　the　beginning；　worshiped　her　beauty　the　way　she　expected　all　males　to　worship。　Not　that　she　d　wanted　me　in　any　way　far　from　it。　But　it　had　aggravated　her　that　I　did　not　want　her；　despite　that。　She　was　used　to　being　wanted。　It　was　different　with　Jasper　and　Carlisle　they　were　already　both　in　love。　pletely　unattached；　and　yet　still　remained　obstinately　unmoved。　I　d　thought　that　old　resentment　was　buried。　That　she　was　long　passed　it。　I　was　And　she　had　been　until　the　day　that　I　finally　found　someone　whose　beauty　touched　me　the　way　hers　had　not。　Rosalie　had　relied　on　the　belief　that　if　I　did　not　find　her　beauty　worth　worshiping；　then　certainly　there　was　no　beauty　on　earth　that　would　reach　me。　She　d　been　furious　since　the　moment　I　d　saved　Bella　s　life；　guessing；　with　her　shrewd　female　intuition；　the　interest　that　I　was　all　but　unconscious　of　myself。　Rosalie　was　mortally　offended　that　I　found　some　insignificant　human　girl　more　appealing　than　her。　I　suppressed　the　urge　to　laugh　again。　It　bothered　me　some；　though；　the　way　she　saw　Bella。　Rosalie　actually　thought　the　girl　was　plain。　How　could　she　believe　that？　It　seemed　inprehensible　to　me。　A　product　of　the　jealousy；　no　doubt。　Oh！　Alice　said　abruptly。　Jasper；　guess　what？　I　saw　what　she　d　just　seen；　and　my　hands　froze　on　the　keys。　What；　Alice？　Jasper　asked。　Peter　and　Charlotte　are　ing　to　visit　next　week！　neighborhood；　isn　t　that　nice？　They　re　going　to　be　in　the　What　s　wrong；　Edward？　Esme　asked；　feeling　the　tension　in　my　shoulders。　Peter　and　Charlotte　are　ing　to　Forks？　I　hissed　at　Alice　She　rolled　her　eyes　at　me。　Calm　down；　Edward。　It　s　not　their　first　visit。　My　teeth　clenched　together。　It　was　their　first　visit　since　Bella　had　arrived；　and　her　sweet　blood　didn　t　appeal　just　to　me。　Alice　frowned　at　my　expression。　They　never　hunt　here。　You　know　that。　But　Jasper　s　brother　of　sorts　and　the　little　vampire　he　loved　were　not　like　us；　they　hunted　the　usual　way。　They　could　not　be　trusted　around　Bella。　When？　I　demanded。

She　pursed　her　lips　unhappily；　but　told　me　what　I　needed　to　know。　No　one　is　going　to　hurt　Bella。　No；　I　agreed；　and　then　turned　away　from　her。　I　thought　we　were　leaving　in　the　morning？　We　re　ing　back　by　midnight　Sunday。　leave。　Okay；　fine。　Sure。　Monday　morning。　You　ready；　Emmett？　I　guess　it　s　up　to　you　when　you　want　to　Let　me　say　goodbye　to　Rose　first。　With　the　mood　Rosalie　was　in；　it　would　be　a　short　goodbye。　You　really　have　lost　it；　Edward；　he　thought　as　he　headed　toward　the　back　door。　I　suppose　I　have。　Play　the　new　song　for　me；　one　more　time；　Esme　asked。　If　you　d　like　that；　I　agreed；　though　I　was　a　little　hesitant　to　follow　the　tune　to　its　unavoidable　end　the　end　that　had　set　me　aching　in　unfamiliar　ways。　I　thought　for　a　moment；　and　then　pulled　the　bottle　cap　from　my　pocket　and　set　it　on　the　empty　music　stand。　That　helped　a　bit　my　little　memento　of　her　yes。　I　nodded　to　myself；　and　started　playing。　Esme　and　Alice　exchanged　a　glance；　but　neither　one　asked。　Hasn　t　anyone　ever　told　you　Oh；　hey　Edward！　he　shouted　advantage　of　his　distraction　sharp　claws　shredded　through　bellowed　at　the　highpitched　not　to　play　with　your　food？　I　called　to　Emmett。　back；　grinning　and　waving　at　me。　The　bear　took　to　rake　its　heavy　paw　across　Emmett　s　chest。　The　his　shirt；　and　squealed　across　his　skin。　The　bear　noise。　Aw　hell；　Rose　gave　me　this　shirt！　Emmett　roared　back　at　the　enraged　animal。　I　sighed　and　sat　down　on　a　convenient　boulder。　This　might　take　awhile。　But　Emmett　was　almost　done。　He　let　the　bear　try　to　take　his　head　off　with　another　swipe　of　the　paw；　laughing　as　the　blow　bounced　off　and　sent　the　bear　staggering　back。　The　bear　roared　and　Emmett　roared　again　through　his　laughter。　Then　he　launched　himself　at　the　animal；　who　stood　a　head　taller　than　him　on　its　hind　legs；　and　their　bodies　fell　to　the　ground　tangled　up　together；　taking　a　mature　spruce　tree　down　with　them。　The　bear　s　growls　cut　off　with　a　gurgle。　A　few　minutes　later；　Emmett　jogged　over　to　where　I　was　waiting　for　him。　His　shirt　was　destroyed；　torn　and　bloodied；　sticky　with　sap　and　covered　in　fur。　His　dark　curly　hair　wasn　t　in　much　better　shape。　He　had　a　huge　grin　on　his　face。　That　was　a　strong　one。　I　could　almost　feel　it　when　he　clawed　me。　You　re　such　a　child；　Emmett。　He　eyed　my　smooth；　clean　white　buttondown。　mountain　lion；　then？　Weren　t　you　able　to　track　down　that

Of　course　I　was。　I　just　don　t　eat　like　a　savage。　I　wish　they　were　stronger。　It　would　be　more　Emmett　laughed　his　booming　laugh。　fun。　No　one　said　you　had　to　fight　your　food。　Yeah；　but　who　else　am　I　going　to　fight　with？　You　and　Alice　cheat；　Rose　never　wants　to　get　her　hair　messed　up；　and　Esme　gets　mad　if　Jasper　and　I　rea