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was　waiting　for　something　from　me。　Ah；　she　d　asked　for　our　drink　order。　I　continued　to　stare　at　Bella；　and　the　waitress　grudgingly　turned　to　look　at　her；　too。　I　ll　have　a　coke？　Bella　said；　as　if　asking　for　approval。　Two　cokes；　I　amended。　Thirst　normal；　human　thirst　was　a　sign　of　shock。　make　sure　she　had　the　extra　sugar　from　the　soda　in　her　system。　She　looked　healthy；　though。　More　than　healthy。　She　looked　radiant。　I　was　vaguely　aware　I　would　What？　she　demanded　wondering　why　I　was　staring；　I　guessed。　that　the　waitress　had　left。　How　are　you　feeling？　I　asked。　She　blinked；　surprised　by　the　question。　You　don　t　feel　dizzy；　sick；　cold？　She　was　even　more　confused　now。　Should　I？　I　m　fine。

Well；　I　actually　I　m　waiting　for　you　to　go　into　shock。　her　denial。　She　would　not　want　to　be　taken　care　of。　I　halfsmiled；　expecting　She　looked　It　took　her　a　minute　to　answer　me。　Her　eyes　were　slightly　unfocused。　that　way　sometimes；　when　I　smiled　at　her。　Was　she　dazzled？　I　would　love　to　believe　that。　I　don　t　think　that　will　happen。　I　ve　always　been　very　good　at　repressing　unpleasant　things；　she　answered；　a　little　breathless。　Did　she　have　a　lot　of　practice　with　unpleasant　things；　then？　this　hazardous？　Just　the　same；　I　told　her。　in　you。　Was　her　life　always　I　ll　feel　better　when　you　have　some　sugar　and　food　The　waitress　returned　with　the　cokes　and　a　basket　of　bread。　She　put　them　in　front　of　me；　and　asked　for　my　order；　trying　to　catch　my　eye　in　the　process。　I　indicated　that　she　should　attend　to　Bella；　and　then　went　back　to　tuning　her　out。　She　had　a　vulgar　mind。　Um　Bella　glanced　quickly　at　the　menu。　I　ll　have　the　mushroom　ravioli。　The　waitress　turned　back　to　me　eagerly。　Nothing　for　me。　Bella　made　a　slight　face。　Hmm。　She　must　have　noticed　that　I　never　ate　food。　noticed　everything。　And　I　always　forgot　to　be　careful　around　her。　I　waited　till　we　were　alone　again。　Drink；　I　insisted。　I　was　surprised　when　she　plied　immediately　and　without　objection。　She　drank　until　the　glass　was　entirely　empty；　so　I　pushed　the　second　coke　toward　her；　frowning　a　little。　Thirst；　or　shock？　She　drank　a　little　more；　and　then　shuddered　once。　Are　you　cold？　It　s　just　the　coke；　she　said；　but　she　shivered　again；　her　lips　trembling　slightly　as　if　her　teeth　were　about　to　chatter。　The　pretty　blouse　she　wore　looked　too　thin　to　protect　her　adequately；　it　clung　to　her　like　a　second　skin；　almost　as　fragile　as　the　first。　She　was　so　frail；　so　mortal。　Don　t　you　have　a　jacket？　Yes。　car。　She　looked　around　herself；　a　little　perplexed。　Oh　I　left　it　in　Jessica　s　She　And　you？　I　pulled　off　my　jacket；　wishing　that　the　gesture　was　not　marred　by　my　body　temperature。　It　would　have　been　nice　to　have　been　able　to　offer　her　a　warm　coat。　She　stared　at　me；　her　cheeks　warming　again。　What　was　she　thinking　now？　I　handed　her　the　jacket　across　the　table；　and　she　put　it　on　at　once；　and　then　shuddered　again。

Yes；　it　would　be　very　nice　to　be　warm。　Thanks；　she　said。　She　took　a　deep　breath；　and　then　pushed　the　toolong　sleeves　back　to　free　her　hands。　She　took　another　deep　breath。　Was　the　evening　finally　settling　in？　Her　color　was　still　good；　her　skin　was　cream　and　roses　against　the　deep　blue　of　her　shirt。　That　color　blue　looks　lovely　with　your　skin；　I　plimented　her。　Just　being　honest。　She　flushed；　enhancing　the　effect。　She　looked　well；　but　there　was　no　point　in　taking　chances。　bread　toward　her。　Really；　she　objected；　guessing　my　motives。　I　pushed　the　basket　of　I　m　not　going　into　shock。　You　should　be　a　normal　person　would　be。　You　don　t　even　look　shaken。　I　stared　at　her；　disapproving；　wondering　why　she　couldn　t　be　normal　and　then　wondering　if　really　wanted　her　to　be　that　way。　I　feel　very　safe　with　you；　she　said；　her　eyes；　again；　filled　with　trust。　I　didn　t　deserve。　Trust　Her　instincts　were　all　wrong　backwards。　That　must　be　the　problem。　She　didn　t　recognize　danger　the　way　a　human　being　should　be　able　to。　She　had　the　opposite　reaction。　Instead　of　running；　she　lingered；　drawn　to　what　should　frighten　her　How　could　I　protect　her　from　myself　when　neither　of　us　wanted　that？　This　is　more　plicated　than　I　d　planned；　I　murmured。　I　could　see　her　turning　my　words　over　in　her　head；　and　I　wondered　what　she　made　of　them。　She　took　a　breadstick　and　began　to　eat　without　seeming　aware　of　the　action。　She　chewed　for　a　moment；　and　then　leaned　her　head　to　one　side　thoughtfully。　Usually　you　re　in　a　better　mood　when　your　eyes　are　so　light；　she　said　in　a　casual　tone。　Her　observation；　stated　so　matter　of　factly；　left　me　reeling。　What？　I　have　a　I　felt　a　deep　You　re　always　crabbier　when　your　eyes　are　black　I　expect　it　then。　theory　about　that；　she　added　lightly。　So　she　had　e　up　with　her　own　explanation。　Of　course　she　had。　sense　of　dread　as　I　wondered　how　close　she　d　e　to　the　truth。　More　theories？　Mmhm。　She　chewed　on　another　bite；　entirely　nonchalant。　As　if　she　weren　t　discussing　the　aspects　of　a　monster　with　the　monster　himself。　I　hope　you　were　more　creative　this　time　I　lied　when　she　didn　t　continue。　What　I　really　hoped　was　that　she　was　wrong　miles　wide　of　the　mark。　still　stealing　from　ic　books？　Or　are　you

Well；　no；　I　didn　t　get　it　from　a　ic　book；　she　said；　a　little　embarrassed。　But　I　didn　t　e　up　with　it　on　my　own；　either。　And？　I　asked　between　my　teeth。　Surely　should　would　not　speak　so　calmly　if　she　were　about　to　scream。　As　she　hesitated；　biting　her　lip；　the　waitress　reappeared　with　Bella　s　food。　I　paid　the　server　little　attention　as　she　set　the　plate　in　front　of　Bella　and　then　asked　if　I　wanted　anything。　I　declined；　but　asked　for　more　coke。　glasses。　She　took　them　and　left。　The　waitress　hadn　t　noticed　the　empty　You　were　saying？　I　prompted　anxiously　as　soon　as　we　were　alone　again。　I　ll　tell　you　about　it　in　the　car；　she　said　in　a　low　voice。　Ah；　this　would　be　bad。　She　wasn　t　willing　to　speak　her　guesses　around　others。　If　she　tacked　on　suddenly。　There　are　conditions？　I　was　so　tense　I　almost　growled　the　words。　I　do　have　a　few　questions；　of　course。　Of　course；　I　agreed；　my　voice　hard。　Her　questions　would　probably　be　enough　to　tell　me　where　her　thoughts　were　heading。　But　how　would　I　answer　them？　With　responsible　lies？　Or　would　I　drive　her　away　with　truth？　Or　would　I　say　nothing；　unable　to　decide？　We　sat　in　silence　while　the　waitress　replenished　her　supply　of　soda。　Well；　go　ahead；　I　said；　jaw　locked；　when　she　was　gone。　Why　are　you　in　Port　Angeles？　That　was　too　easy　a　question　for　her。　It　gave　away　nothing；　while　my　answer；　if　truthful；　would　give　away　much　too　much。　Let　her　reveal　something　first。　Next；　I　said。　But　that　s　the　easiest　one！　Next；　I　said　again。　She　was　frustrated　by　my　refusal。　She　looked　away　from　me；　down　to　her　food。　Slowly；　thinking　hard；　she　took　a　bite　and　chewed　with　deliberation。　She　washed　it　down　with　more　coke；　and　then　finally　looked　up　at　me。　Her　eyes　were　narrow　with　suspicion。　Okay　then；　she　said。　Let　s　say；　hypothetically；　of　course；　that　someone　could　know　what　people　are　thinking；　read　minds；　you　know　with　just　a　few　exceptions。　It　could　be　worse。　This　explained　that　little　halfsmile　in　the　car。　She　was　quick　no　one　else　had　ever　guessed　this　about　me。　Except　for　Carlisle；　and　it　had　been　rather　obvious　then；　in　the　beginning；　when　I　d　answered　all　his　thoughts　as　if　he　d　spoken　them　to　me。　He　d　understood　before　I　had

This　question　wasn　t　so　bad。　While　it　was　clear　that　she　knew　that　there　was　something　wrong　with　me；　was　not　as　serious　as　it　could　have　been。　Mindreading　was；　after　all；　not　a　facet　of　the　vampire　cannon。　I　went　along　with　her　hypothesis。　Just　one　exception；　I　corrected。　Hypothetically。　She　fought　a　smile　my　vague　honesty　pleased　her。　All　right；　with　one　exception；　then。　How　does　that　work？　What　are　the　limitations？　How　would　that　someone　find　someone　else　at　exactly　the　right　time？　How　would　he　know　that　she　was　in　trouble？　Hypothetically？　Sure。　Her　lips　twitched；　and　her　liquid　brown　eyes　were　eager。　If　that　someone　Well；　I　hesitated。　Let　s　call　him　Joe；　she　suggested。　I　had　to　smile　at　her　enthusiasm。　Did　she　really　think　the　truth　would　be　a　good　thing？　If　my　secrets　were　pleasant；　why　would　I　keep　them　from　her？　Joe；　then；　I　agreed。　If　Joe　had　been　paying　attention；　the　timing　wouldn　t　have　needed　to　be　quite　so　exact。　I　shook　my　head　and　repressed　a　shudder　at　the　thought　of　how　close　I　had　been　to　being　too　late　today。　Only　you　could　get　into　trouble　in　a　town　this　small。　You　would　have　devastated　their　crime　rate　statistics　for　a　decade；　you　know。　Her　lips　turned　down　at　the　corners；　and　pouted　out。　hypothetical　case。　I　laughed　at　her　irritation。　Her　lips；　her　skin　They　looked　so　soft。　I　wanted　to　touch　them。　press　my　fingertip　against　the　corner　of　her　frown　and　turn　it　up。　My　skin　would　be　repellent　to　her。　I　wanted　to　Impossible。　We　were　speaking　of　a　Yes；　we　were；　I　said；　returning　to　the　conversation　before　I　could　depress　myself　too　thoroughly。　Shall　we　call　you　Jane　？　She　leaned　across　the　table　toward　me；　all　humor　and　irritation　gone　from　her　wide　eyes。　How　did　you　know？　she　asked；　her　voice　low　and　intense。　Should　I　tell　her　the　truth？　I　wanted　to　tell　her。　face。　And；　if　so；　what　portion？　I　wanted　to　deserve　the　trust　I　could　still　see　on　her　You　can　trust　me；　you　know；　she　whispered；　and　she　reached　one　hand　forward　as　if　to　touch　my　hands　where　they　rested　on　top　of　the　empty　table　before　me。　I　pulled　them　back　hating　the　thought　of　her　reaction　to　my　frigid　stone　skin　and　she　dropped　her　hand。

I　knew　that　I　could　trust　her　with　protecting　my　secrets；　she　was　entirely　trustworthy；　good　to　the　core。　But　I　couldn　t　trust　her　not　to　be　horrified　by　them。　She　should　be　horrified。　The　truth　was　horror。　I　don　t　know　if　I　have　a　choice　anymore；　I　murmured。　I　remembered　that　I　d　once　teased　her　by　calling　her　exceptionally　unobservant。　Offended　her；　if　I　d　been　judging　her　expressions　correctly。　Well；　I　could　right　that　one　injustice；　at　least。　I　was　wrong　you　re　much　more　observant　than　I　gave　you　credit　for。　And；　though　she　might　not　realize　it；　I　d　given　her　plenty　of　credit　already。　She　missed　nothing。　I　thought　you　were　always　right；　she　said；　smiling　as　she　teased　me。　I　used　to　be。　I　used　to　know　what　I　was　doing。　course。　And　now　everything　was　chaos　and　tumult。　I　used　to　be　always　sure　of　my　Not　if　the　Yet　I　wouldn　t　trade　it。　I　didn　t　want　the　life　that　made　sense。　chaos　meant　that　I　could　be　with　Bella。　I　was　wrong　about　you　on　one　other　thing　as　well；　I　went　on；　setting　the　record　straight　on　another　point。　You　re　not　a　mag　for　accidents　that　s　not　a　broad　enough　classification。　You　are　a　mag　for　trouble。　If　there　is　anything　dangerous　within　a　tenmile　radius；　it　will　invariably　find　you。　Why　her？　What　had　she　done　to　deserve　any　of　this？　Bella　s　face　turned　serious　again。　And　you　put　yourself　into　that　category？　Honesty　was　more　important　in　regards　to　this　question　than　any　other。　Unequivocally。　Her　eyes　narrowed　slightly　not　suspicious　now；　but　oddly　concerned。　She　reached　her　hand　across　the　table　again；　slowly　and　deliberately。　I　pulled　my　hands　an　inch　away　from　her；　but　she　ignored　that；　determined　to　touch　me。　I　held　my　breath　not　because　of　her　scent　now；　but　because　of　the　sudden；　overwhelming　tension。　Fear。　My　skin　would　disgust　her。　She　would　run　away。　She　brushed　her　fingertips　lightly　across　the　back　of　my　hand。　The　heat　of　her　gentle；　willing　touch　was　like　nothing　I　d　ever　felt　before。　It　was　almost　pure　pleasure。　Would　have　been；　except　for　my　fear。　I　watched　her　face　as　she　felt　the　cold　stone　of　my　skin；　still　unable　to　breathe。　A　halfsmile　turned　up　the　corners　of　her　lips。　Thank　you；　she　said；　meeting　my　stare　with　an　intense　gaze　of　her　own。　twice　now。　That　s　Her　soft　fingers　lingered　on　my　hand　as　if　they　found　it　pleasant　to　be　there。　I　answered　her　as　casually　as　I　was　able。　She　grimaced　at　that；　but　nodded。　I　pulled　my　hands　out　from　under　hers。　As　exquisite　as　her　touch　felt；　I　wasn　t　going　to　wait　for　the　magic　of　her　tolerance　to　pass；　to　turn　to　revulsion。　I　hid　my　hands　under　the　table。　Let　s　not　try　for　three；　agreed？

I　read　her　eyes；　though　her　mind　was　silent；　I　could　perceive　both　trust　and　wonder　there。　I　realized　in　that　moment　that　I　wanted　to　answer　her　questions。　Not　because　I　owed　it　to　her。　Not　because　I　wanted　her　to　trust　me。　I　wanted　her　to　know　me。　I　followed　you　to　Port　Angeles；　I　told　her；　the　words　spilling　out　too　quickly　for　me　to　edit　them。　I　knew　the　danger　of　the　truth；　the　risk　I　was　taking。　At　any　moment；　her　unnatural　calm　could　shatter　into　hysterics。　Contrarily；　knowing　this　only　had　me　talking　faster。　I　ve　never　tried　to　keep　a　specific　person　alive　before　and　it　s　much　more　troublesome　than　I　would　have　believed。　But　that　s　probably　just　because　it　s　you。　Ordinary　people　seem　to　make　it　through　the　day　without　so　many　catastrophes。　I　watched　her；　waiting。　She　smiled。　Her　lips　curved　up　at　the　edges；　and　her　chocolate　eyes　warmed。　I　d　just　admitted　to　stalking　her；　and　she　was　smiling。　Did　you　ever　think　that　maybe　my　number　was　up　that　first　time；　with　the　van；　and　that　you　ve　been　interfering　with　fate？　she　asked。　That　wasn　t　the　first　time；　I　said；　staring　down　at　the　dark　maroon　table　cloth；　my　shoulders　bowed　in　shame。　My　barriers　were　down；　the　truth　still　spilling　free　recklessly。　Your　number　was　up　the　first　time　I　met　you。　It　was　true；　and　it　angered　me。　I　had　been　positioned　over　her　life　like　the　blade　of　a　guillotine。　It　was　as　if　she　had　been　marked　for　death　by　some　cruel；　unjust　fate；　and　since　I　d　proved　an　unwilling　tool　that　same　fate　continued　to　try　to　execute　her。　I　imagined　the　fate　personified　a　grisly；　jealous　hag；　a　vengeful　harpy。　I　wanted　something；　someone；　to　be　responsible　for　this　so　that　I　would　have　something　concrete　to　fight　against。　Something；　anything　to　destroy；　so　that　Bella　could　be　safe。　Bella　was　very　quiet；　her　breathing　had　accelerated。　I　looked　up　at　her；　knowing　I　would　finally　see　the　fear　I　was　waiting　for。　Had　I　not　just　admitted　how　close　I　d　been　to　killing　her？　Closer　than　the　van　that　had　e　within　slim　inches　of　crushing　her。　And　yet；　her　face　was　still　calm；　her　eyes　still　tightened　only　with　concern。　You　remember？　She　had　to　remember　that。　Her　deep　eyes　were　full　of　awareness。　Yes；　she　said；　her　voice　level　and　grave。　She　knew。　She　knew　that　I　had　wanted　to　murder　her。　Where　were　the　screams？　And　yet　here　you　sit；　I　said；　pointing　out　the　inherent　contradiction。　Yes；　here　I　sit　because　of　you。　Her　expression　altered；　turned　curious；　as　she　unsubtly　changed　the　subject。　Because　somehow　you　knew　how　to　find　me　today　？　Hopelessly；　I　pushed　one　more　time　at　the　barrier　that　protected　her　thoughts；　desperate　to　understand。　It　made　no　logical　sense　to　me。　How　could　she　even　care　about　the　rest　with　that　glaring　truth　on　the　table？

She　waited；　only　curious。　Her　skin　was　pale；　which　was　natural　for　her；　but　it　still　concerned　me。　Her　dinner　sat　nearly　untouched　in　front　of　her。　If　I　continued　to　tell　her　too　much；　she　was　going　to　need　a　buffer　when　the　shock　wore　off。　I　named　my　terms。　You　eat；　I　ll　talk。　She　processed　that　for　half　a　second；　and　then　threw　a　bite　in　her　mouth　with　a　speed　that　belied　her　calm。　She　was　more　anxious　for　my　answer　than　her　eyes　let　on。　It　s　harder　than　it　should　be　keeping　track　of　you；　I　told　her。　find　someone　very　easily；　once　I　ve　heard　their　mind　before。　I　watched　her　face　carefully　as　I　said　this。　it　confirmed　was　another。　Usually　I　can　Guessing　right　was　one　thing；