5 midnight sun午夜阳光-第28部分

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！！　Life　is　so　unfair。　Bella　s　mouth　twitched。　Yeah；　I　ll　see　you　then。　Details。　I　have　to　Jessica　s　thoughts　ran　wild　as　she　hurried　to　her　first　class；　peeking　back　at　us　now　and　then。　The　whole　story。　I　m　not　accepting　anything　less。　Did　they　plan　to　meet　up　last　night？　Are　they　dating？　How　long？　How　could　she　keep　this　a　secret？　Why　would　she　want　to？　It　can　t　be　a　casual　thing　she　has　to　be　seriously　into　him。　Is　there　any　other　option？　I　will　find　out。　I　can　t　stand　not　knowing。　I　wonder　if　she　s　made　out　with　him？　Oh；　swoon　Jessica　s　thoughts　were　suddenly　disjointed；　and　she　let　wordless　fantasies　swirl　through　her　head。　I　winced　at　her　speculations；　and　not　just　because　she　d　replaced　Bella　with　herself　in　the　mental　pictures。　It　couldn　t　be　like　that。　And　yet　I　I　wanted　How　many　wrong　ways　would　I　want　I　resisted　making　the　admission；　even　to　myself。　Bella　in？　Which　one　would　end　up　killing　her？　I　shook　my　head；　and　tried　to　lighten　up。　What　are　you　going　to　tell　her？　I　asked　Bella。　Hey！　she　whispered　fiercely。　I　can　t。　I　thought　you　couldn　t　read　my　mind！　Ah　we　I　stared　at　her；　surprised；　trying　to　make　sense　of　her　words。

must　have　been　thinking　the　same　thing　at　the　same　time。　Hmm　I　rather　liked　that。　However；　I　told　her；　I　can　read　hers　she　ll　be　waiting　to　ambush　you　in　class。　Bella　groaned；　and　then　let　the　jacket　slide　off　her　shoulders。　I　didn　t　realize　that　she　was　giving　it　back　at　first　I　wouldn　t　have　asked　for　it；　I　would　rather　she　kept　it　a　token　so　I　was　too　slow　to　offer　her　my　help。　She　handed　me　the　jacket；　and　put　her　arms　through　her　own；　without　looking　up　to　see　that　my　hands　were　extended　to　assist。　I　frowned　at　that；　and　then　controlled　my　expression　before　she　noticed　it。　So；　what　are　you　going　to　tell　her？　I　pressed。　A　little　help？　What　does　she　want　to　know？　I　wanted　to　hear　what　she　was　thinking　without　a　I　smiled；　and　shook　my　head。　prompt。　That　s　not　fair。　Her　eyes　tightened。　No；　you　not　sharing　what　you　know　now　that　s　unfair。　Right　she　didn　t　like　double　standards。　We　got　to　the　door　of　her　class　where　I　would　have　to　leave　her；　I　wondered　idly　if　Ms。　Cope　would　be　more　acmodating　about　a　switch　in　the　schedule　of　my　English　class　I　made　myself　focus。　I　could　be　fair。　She　wants　to　know　if　we　re　secretly　dating；　I　said　slowly。　know　how　you　feel　about　me。　Her　eyes　were　wide　not　startled；　but　ingenious　now。　readable。　She　was　playing　innocent。　Yikes；　she　murmured。　What　should　I　say？　I　pondered　how　And　she　wants　to　They　were　open　to　me；　Hmmm。　She　always　tried　to　make　me　give　away　more　than　she　did。　to　respond。　A　wayward　strand　of　her　hair；　slightly　damp　from　the　fog；　draped　across　her　shoulder　and　curled　around　where　her　collar　bone　was　hidden　by　the　ridiculous　sweater。　It　drew　my　eyes　pulled　them　across　the　other　hidden　lines　I　reached　for　it　carefully；　not　touching　her　skin　the　morning　was　chill　enough　without　my　touch　and　twisted　it　back　into　place　in　her　untidy　bun　so　that　it　wouldn　t　distract　me　again。　I　remembered　when　Mike　Newton　had　touched　her　hair；　and　my　jaw　flexed　at　the　memory。　She　had　flinched　away　from　him　then。　Her　reaction　now　was　nothing　the　same；　instead；　there　was　a　slight　widening　of　her　eyes；　a　rush　of　blood　under　her　skin；　and　a　sudden；　uneven　thumping　of　her　heart。　I　tried　to　hide　my　smile　as　I　answered　her　question。　I　suppose　you　could　say　yes　to　the　first　if　you　don　t　mind　；　her　choice；　always　her　choice；　it　s　easier　than　any　other　explanation。　I　don　t　mind；　she　whispered。　Her　heart　had　not　found　its　normal　rhythm　yet。

And　as　for　her　other　question　I　couldn　t　hide　my　smile　now。　listening　to　hear　the　answer　to　that　one　myself。　Let　Bella　consider　that。　Well；　I　ll　be　I　held　back　my　laugh　as　shock　crossed　her　face。　I　turned　quickly；　before　she　could　ask　for　any　more　answers。　I　had　a　difficult　time　not　giving　her　whatever　she　asked　for。　And　I　wanted　to　hear　her　thoughts；　not　mine。　I　ll　see　you　at　lunch；　I　called　back　to　her　over　my　shoulder；　an　excuse　to　check　that　she　was　still　staring　after　me；　wideeyed。　Her　mouth　was　hanging　open。　I　turned　away　again；　and　laughed。　that　swirled　around　me　eyes　bouncing　back　and　forth　between　Bella　s　face　and　my　retreating　figure。　I　paid　them　little　attention。　I　couldn　t　concentrate。　It　was　hard　enough　to　keep　my　feet　moving　at　an　acceptable　speed　as　I　crossed　the　soggy　grass　to　my　next　class。　I　wanted　to　run　really　run；　so　fast　that　I　would　disappear；　so　fast　that　it　would　feel　like　I　was　flying。　Part　of　me　was　flying　already。　I　put　the　jacket　on　when　I　got　to　class；　letting　her　fragrance　swim　thick　around　me。　I　would　burn　now　let　the　scent　desensitize　me　and　then　it　would　be　easier　to　ignore　it　later；　when　I　was　with　her　again　at　lunch　It　was　a　good　thing　that　my　teachers　no　longer　bothered　to　call　on　me。　Today　might　have　been　the　day　that　they　would　have　caught　me　out；　unprepared　and　answerless。　My　mind　was　in　so　many　places　this　morning；　only　my　body　was　in　the　classroom。　Of　course　I　was　watching　Bella。　That　was　being　natural　as　automatic　as　breathing。　I　heard　her　conversation　with　a　demoralized　Mike　Newton。　She　quickly　directed　the　conversation　to　Jessica；　and　I　grinned　so　wide　that　Rob　Sawyer；　who　sat　at　the　desk　to　my　right；　flinched　visibly　and　slid　deeper　into　his　seat；　away　from　me。　Ugh。　Creepy。　Well；　I　hadn　t　lost　it　entirely。　I　was　also　monitoring　Jessica　loosely；　watching　her　refine　her　questions　for　Bella。　I　could　barely　wait　for　fourth　period；　ten　times　as　eager　and　anxious　as　the　curious　human　girl　who　wanted　fresh　gossip。　And　I　was　also　listening　to　Angela　Weber。　I　had　not　forgotten　the　gratitude　I　felt　to　her　for　thinking　nothing　but　kind　things　toward　Bella　in　the　first　place；　and　then　for　her　help　last　night。　So　I　waited　through　the　morning；　looking　for　something　that　she　wanted。　I　assumed　it　would　be　an　easy；　like　any　other　human；　there　must　be　some　bauble　or　toy　she　wanted　particularly。　Several；　probably。　I　would　deliver　something　anonymously　and　call　us　even。　But　Angela　proved　almost　as　unacmodating　as　Bella　with　her　thoughts。　She　was　oddly　content　for　a　teenager。　Happy。　Perhaps　this　was　the　reason　for　her　unusual　kindness　she　was　one　of　those　rare　people　who　had　what　they　wanted　and　wanted　what

they　had。　If　she　wasn　t　paying　attention　to　her　teachers　and　her　notes；　she　was　thinking　of　the　twin　little　brothers　she　was　taking　to　the　beach　this　weekend　anticipating　their　excitement　with　an　almost　maternal　pleasure。　She　cared　for　them　often；　but　was　not　resentful　of　this　fact　It　was　very　sweet。　But　not　really　helpful　to　me。　There　had　to　be　something　she　wanted。　I　would　just　have　to　keep　looking。　later。　It　was　time　for　Bella　s　trig　class　with　Jessica。　But　I　wasn　t　watching　where　I　was　going　as　I　made　my　way　to　English。　Jessica　was　already　in　her　seat；　both　her　feet　tapping　impatiently　against　the　floor　as　she　waited　for　Bella　to　arrive。　Conversely；　once　I　settled　into　my　assigned　seat　in　the　classroom；　I　became　utterly　still。　I　had　to　remind　myself　to　fidget　now　and　then。　To　keep　up　the　charade。　It　was　difficult；　my　thoughts　were　so　focused　on　Jessica　s。　I　hoped　she　would　pay　attention；　really　try　to　read　Bella　s　face　for　me。　Jessica　s　tapping　intensified　when　Bella　walked　into　the　room。　She　looks　glum。　Why？　Maybe　there　s　nothing　going　on　with　Edward　Cullen。　That　would　be　a　disappointment。　Except　then　he　s　still　available　If　he　s　suddenly　interested　in　dating；　I　don　t　mind　helping　out　with　that　Bella　s　face　didn　t　look　glum；　it　looked　reluctant。　would　hear　all　of　this。　I　smiled　to　myself。　She　was　worried　she　knew　I　Tell　me　everything！　Jess　demanded　while　Bella　was　still　removing　her　jacket　to　hang　it　on　the　back　of　her　seat。　She　was　moving　with　deliberation；　unwilling。　Ugh；　she　s　so　slow。　Let　s　get　to　the　juicy　stuff！　What　do　you　want　to　know？　Bella　stalled　as　she　took　her　seat。　What　happened　last　night？　He　bought　me　dinner；　and　then　he　drove　me　home。　And　then？　C　mon；　there　has　to　be　more　than　that！　that。　I　m　going　to　call　her　on　it。　How　did　you　get　home　so　fast？　I　watched　Bella　roll　her　eyes　at　the　suspicious　Jessica。　He　drives　like　a　maniac。　It　was　terrifying。　She　s　lying　anyway；　I　know　She　smiled　a　tiny　smile；　and　I　laughed　out　loud；　interrupting　Mr。　Mason　s　announcements。　I　tried　to　turn　the　laugh　into　a　cough；　but　no　one　was　fooled。　Mr。　Mason　shot　me　an　irritated　look；　but　I　didn　t　even　bother　to　listen　to　the　thought　behind　it。　I　was　hearing　Jessica。　Huh。　She　sounds　like　she　s　telling　the　truth。　Why　is　she　making　me　pull　this　out　of　her；　word　by　word？　I　would　be　bragging　at　the　top　of　my　lungs　if　it　were　me。　Was　it　like　a　date　did　you　tell　him　to　meet　you　there？　Jessica　watched　surprise　cross　Bella　s　expression；　and　was　disappointed　at　how　genuine　it　seemed。

No　I　was　very　surprised　to　see　him　there；　Bella　told　her。　What　is　going　on？？　to　the　story。　But　he　picked　you　up　for　school　today？　There　has　to　be　more　Yes　that　was　a　surprise；　too。　He　noticed　I　didn　t　have　a　jacket　last　night。　That　s　not　very　much　fun；　Jessica　thought；　disappointed　again。　I　was　tired　of　her　line　of　questioning　I　wanted　to　hear　something　I　didn　t　already　know。　I　hoped　she　wasn　t　so　dissatisfied　that　she　would　skip　the　questions　I　was　waiting　for。　So　are　you　going　out　again？　Jessica　demanded。　He　offered　to　drive　me　to　Seattle　Saturday　because　he　thinks　my　truck　isn　t　up　to　it　does　that　count？　Hmm。　He　sure　is　going　out　of　his　way　to　well；　take　care　of　her；　sort　of。　There　must　be　something　there　on　his　side；　if　not　on　hers。　How　could　THAT　be？　Bella　s　crazy。　Yes；　Jessica　answered　Bella　s　question。　Well；　then；　Bella　concluded。　Wow　Edward　Cullen。　Yes。　Whether　she　likes　him　or　not；　this　is　major。　I　know；　Bella　sighed。　The　tone　of　her　voice　encouraged　Jessica。　She　must　realize　Wait！　Jessica　said；　suddenly　remembering　her　most　vital　question。　kissed　you？　Please　say　yes。　And　then　describe　every　second！　Has　he　Finally　she　sounds　like　she　gets　it！　No；　Bella　mumbled；　and　then　she　looked　down　at　her　hands；　her　face　falling。　It　s　not　like　that。　Damn。　I　wish　Ha。　Looks　like　she　does　to。　I　frowned。　Bella　did　look　upset　about　something；　but　it　couldn　t　be　disappointment　like　Jessica　assumed。　She　couldn　t　want　that。　Not　knowing　what　she　knew。　She　couldn　t　want　to　be　that　close　to　my　teeth。　For　all　she　knew；　I　had　fangs。　I　shuddered。　Do　you　think　Saturday　？　Jessica　prodded。　Bella　looked　even　more　frustrated　as　she　said；　I　really　doubt　it。　Yeah；　she　does　wish。　That　sucks　for　her。　Was　it　because　I　was　watching　all　this　through　the　filter　of　Jessica　s　perceptions　that　it　seemed　like　Jessica　was　right？

For　a　halfsecond　I　was　distracted　by　the　idea；　the　impossibility；　of　what　it　would　be　like　to　try　to　kiss　her。　My　lips　to　her　lips；　cold　stone　to　warm；　yielding　silk　And　then　she　dies。　I　shook　my　head；　wincing；　and　made　myself　pay　attention。　What　did　you　talk　about？　Did　you　talk　to　him；　or　did　you　make　him　drag　every　ounce　of　information　out　of　you　like　this？　I　smiled　ruefully。　Jessica　wasn　t　far　off。　We　talked　about　the　English　essay　a　little。　I　don　t　know；　Jess；　lots　of　stuff。　A　very　little。　Oh；　c　MON。　I　smiled　wider。　Please；　Bella！　Give　me　some　details。　Bella　deliberated　for　a　moment。　Well　okay；　I　ve　got　one。　You　should　have　seen　the　waitress　flirting　with　him　it　was　over　the　top。　But　he　didn　t　pay　any　attention　to　her　at　all。　What　a　strange　detail　to　share。　I　was　surprised　Bella　had　even　noticed。　seemed　a　very　inconsequential　thing。　Interesting　Hmm。　That　s　a　good　sign。　Was　she　pretty？　Must　be　a　female　thing。　It　Jessica　thought　more　of　it　that　I　did。　Very；　Bella　told　her。　And　probably　nieen　or　twenty。　Jessica　was　momentarily　distracted　by　a　memory　of　Mike　on　her　date　Monday　night　Mike　being　a　little　too　friendly　with　a　waitress　who　Jessica　did　not　consider　pretty　at　all。　She　shoved　the　memory　away　and　returned；　stifling　her　irritation；　to　her　quest　for　details。　Even　better。　He　must　like　you。　I　think　so；　Bella　said　slowly；　and　I　was　on　the　edge　of　my　seat；　my　body　rigidly　still。　But　it　s　hard　to　tell。　He　s　always　so　cryptic。　I　must　not　have　been　as　transparently　obvious　and　out　of　control　as　I　d　thought。　Still　observant　as　she　was　How　could　she　not　realize　that　I　was　in　love　with　her？　I　sifted　through　our　conversation；　almost　surprised　that　I　hadn　t　said　the　words　out　loud。　It　had　felt　like　that　knowledge　had　been　the　subtext　of　every　word　between　us。　Wow。　How　do　you　sit　there　across　from　a　male　model　and　make　conversation？　I　don　t　know　how　you　re　brave　enough　to　be　alone　with　him；　Jessica　said。　Shock　flashed　across　Bella　s　face。　Weird　reaction。　Why？　He　s　so　What　s　the　right　word？　What　does　she　think　I　meant？

Intimidating。　I　wouldn　t　know　what　to　say　to　him。　I　couldn　t　even　speak　English　to　him　today；　and　all　he　said　was　good　morning。　I　must　have　sounded　like　such　an　idiot。　Bella　smiled。　I　do　have　some　trouble　with　incoherency　when　I　m　around　him。　She　was　almost　unnaturally　selfShe　must　be　trying　to　make　Jessica　feel　better。　possessed　when　we　were　together。　Oh　well；　Jessica　sighed。　He　is　unbelievably　gorgeous。　Bella　s　face　was　suddenly　colder。　Her　eyes　flashed　the　same　way　they　did　when　she　resented　some　injustice。　Jessica　didn　t　process　the　change　in　her　expression。　There　s　a　lot　more　to　him　than　that；　Bella　snapped。　Oooh。　Now　we　re　getting　somewhere。　Really？　Like　what？　Bella　gnawed　her　lip　for　a　moment。　I　can　t　explain　it　right；　she　finally　said。　But　he　s　even　more　unbelievable　behind　the　face。　She　looked　away　from　Jessica；　her　eyes　slightly　unfocused　as　if　she　was　staring　at　something　very　far　away。　The　feeling　I　felt　now　was　loosely　similar　to　how　it　felt　when　Carlisle　or　Esme　praised　me　beyond　what　I　deserved。　Similar；　but　more　intense；　more　consuming。　Sell　stupid　somewhere　else　there　s　nothing　better　than　that　face！　body。　Swoon。　Is　that　possible？　Jessica　giggled。　Unless　it　s　his　Bella　didn　t　turn。　She　continued　to　stare　into　the　distance；　ignoring　Jessica。　A　normal　person　would　be　gloating。　Maybe　if　I　keep　the　questions　simple。　Ha　ha。　Like　I　m　talking　to　a　kindergartener。　So　you　like　him；　then？　I　was　rigid　again。　Bella　didn　t　look　at　Jessica。　Yes。　I　mean；　do　you　really　like　him？　Yes。　Look　at　that　blush！　I　was。　How　much　do　you　like　him？　Jessica　demanded。　The　English　room　could　have　gone　up　in　flames　and　I　wouldn　t　have　noticed。　Bella　s　face　was　bright　red　now　I　could　almost　feel　the　heat　from　the　mental　picture。　Too　much；　she　whispered。　help　that。　Shoot！　More　than　he　likes　me。　But　I　don　t　see　how　I　can　What　did　Mr。　Varner　just　ask？　Um　which　number；　Mr。　Varner？　I　needed　a　minute。　It　was　good　that　Jessica　could　no　longer　quiz　Bella。

What　on　earth　was　that　girl　thinking　now？　More　than　he　likes　me？　How　did　she　e　up　with　that？　But　I　don　t　see　how　I　can　help　that？　What　was　that　supposed　to　mean？　I　couldn　t　fit　a　rational　explanation　to　the　words。　They　were　practically　senseless。　It　seemed　I　couldn　t　take　anything　for　granted。　Obvious　things；　things　that　made　perfect　sense；　somehow　got　twisted　up　and　turned　backwards　in　that　bizarre　brain　of　hers。　More　than　he　likes　me？　Maybe　I　shouldn　t　rule　out　the　institution　just　yet。　I　glared　at　the　clock；　gritting　my　teeth。　How　could　mere　minutes　feel　so　impossibly　long　to　an　immortal？　Where　was　my　perspective？　My　jaw　was　tight　throughout　Mr。　Varner　s　entire　trigonometry　lesson。　I　heard　more　of　that　than　the　lecture　in　my　own　class。　Bella　and　Jessica　didn　t　speak　again；　but　Jessica　peeked　at　Bella　several　times；　and　once　her　face　was　bri