1 twilight暮色-第13部分

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shore；　the　hair　on　the　back　of　his　shoulders　bristling；　low　growls　
issuing　from　between　his　exposed　fangs。　

〃Bella；　run！〃　Mike　cried　out　again　from　behind　me。　But　I　didn't　turn。　I　
was　watching　a　light　ing　toward　me　from　the　beach。　

And　then　Edward　stepped　out　from　the　trees；　his　skin　faintly　glowing；　his　
eyes　black　and　dangerous。　He　held　up　one　hand　and　beckoned　me　to　e　to　
him。　The　wolf　growled　at　my　feet。　

I　took　a　step　forward；　toward　Edward。　He　smiled　then；　and　his　teeth　were　
sharp；　pointed。　

〃Trust　me；〃　he　purred。　

I　took　another　step。　

The　wolf　launched　himself　across　the　space　between　me　and　the　vampire；　
fangs　aiming　for　the　jugular。　

〃No！〃　I　screamed；　wrenching　upright　out　of　my　bed。　

My　sudden　movement　caused　the　headphones　to　pull　the　CD　player　off　the　
bedside　table；　and　it　clattered　to　the　wooden　floor。　

My　light　was　still　on；　and　I　was　sitting　fully　dressed　on　the　bed；　with　
my　shoes　on。　I　glanced；　disoriented；　at　the　clock　on　my　dresser。　It　was　
fivethirty　in　the　morning。　

I　groaned；　fell　back；　and　rolled　over　onto　my　face；　kicking　off　my　boots。　
I　was　too　unfortable　to　get　anywhere　near　sleep；　though。　I　rolled　back　
over　and　unbuttoned　my　jeans；　yanking　them　off　awkwardly　as　I　tried　to　
stay　horizontal。　I　could　feel　the　braid　in　my　hair；　an　unfortable　
ridge　along　the　back　of　my　skull。　I　turned　onto　my　side　and　ripped　the　
rubber　band　out；　quickly　bing　through　the　plaits　with　my　fingers。　I　
pulled　the　pillow　back　over　my　eyes。　

It　was　all　no　use；　of　course。　My　subconscious　had　dredged　up　exactly　the　
images　I'd　been　trying　so　desperately　to　avoid。　I　was　going　to　have　to　
face　them　now。　

I　sat　up；　and　my　head　spun　for　a　minute　as　the　blood　flowed　downward。　
First　things　first；　I　thought　to　myself；　happy　to　put　it　off　as　long　as　
possible。　I　grabbed　my　bathroom　bag。　

The　shower　didn't　last　nearly　as　long　as　I　hoped　it　would；　though。　Even　
taking　the　time　to　blowdry　my　hair；　I　was　soon　out　of　things　to　do　in　
the　bathroom。　Wrapped　in　a　towel；　I　crossed　back　to　my　room。　I　couldn't　
tell　if　Charlie　was　still　asleep；　or　if　he　had　already　left。　I　went　to　
look　out　my　window；　and　the　cruiser　was　gone。　Fishing　again。　

I　dressed　slowly　in　my　most　fy　sweats　and　then　made　my　bed　—　something　
I　never　did。　I　couldn't　put　it　off　any　longer。　I　went　to　my　desk　and　
switched　on　my　old　puter。　

I　hated　using　the　Inter　here。　My　modem　was　sadly　outdated；　my　free　
service　substandard；　just　dialing　up　took　so　long　that　I　decided　to　go　
get　myself　a　bowl　of　cereal　while　I　waited。　

I　ate　slowly；　chewing　each　bite　with　care。　When　I　was　done；　I　washed　the　
bowl　and　spoon；　dried　them；　and　put　them　away。　My　feet　dragged　as　I　
climbed　the　stairs。　I　went　to　my　CD　player　first；　picking　it　up　off　the　
floor　and　placing　it　precisely　in　the　center　of　the　table。　I　pulled　out　
the　headphones；　and　put　them　away　in　the　desk　drawer。　Then　I　turned　the　
same　CD　on；　turning　it　down　to　the　point　where　it　was　background　noise。　

With　another　sigh；　I　turned　to　my　puter。　Naturally；　the　screen　was　
covered　in　popup　ads。　I　sat　in　my　hard　folding　chair　and　began　closing　
all　the　little　windows。　Eventually　I　made　it　to　my　favorite　search　
engine。　I　shot　down　a　few　more　popups　and　then　typed　in　one　word。　

Vampire。　

It　took　an　infuriatingly　long　time；　of　course。　When　the　results　came　up；　
there　was　a　lot　to　sift　through　—　everything　from　movies　and　TV　shows　to　
roleplaying　games；　underground　metal；　and　gothic　cosmetic　panies。　

Then　I　found　a　promising　site　—　Vampires　A—Z。　I　waited　impatiently　for　it　
to　load；　quickly　clicking　closed　each　ad　that　flashed　across　the　screen。　
Finally　the　screen　was　finished　—　simple　white　background　with　black　
text；　academiclooking。　Two　quotes　greeted　me　on　the　home　page：　



Throughout　the　vast　shadowy　world　of　ghosts　and　demons　there　is　no　figure　
so　terrible；　no　figure　so　dreaded　and　abhorred；　yet　dight　with　such　
fearful　fascination；　as　the　vampire；　who　is　himself　neither　ghost　nor　
demon；　but　yet　who　partakes　the　dark　natures　and　possesses　the　mysterious　
and　terrible　qualities　of　both。　—　Rev。　Montague　Summers　



If　there　is　in　this　world　a　wellattested　account；　it　is　that　of　the　
vampires。　Nothing　is　lacking：　official　reports；　affidavits　of　wellknown　
people；　of　surgeons；　of　priests；　of　magistrates；　the　judicial　proof　is　
most　plete。　And　with　all　that；　who　is　there　who　believes　in　vampires？　
—　Rousseau　



The　rest　of　the　site　was　an　alphabetized　listing　of　all　the　different　
myths　of　vampires　held　throughout　the　world。　The　first　I　clicked　on；　the　
Danag；　was　a　Filipino　vampire　supposedly　responsible　for　planting　taro　on　
the　islands　long　ago。　The　myth　continued　that　the　Danag　worked　with　
humans　for　many　years；　but　the　partnership　ended　one　day　when　a　woman　cut　
her　finger　and　a　Danag　sucked　her　wound；　enjoying　the　taste　so　much　that　
it　drained　her　body　pletely　of　blood。　

I　read　carefully　through　the　descriptions；　looking　for　anything　that　
sounded　familiar；　let　alone　plausible。　It　seemed　that　most　vampire　myths　
centered　around　beautiful　women　as　demons　and　children　as　victims；　they　
also　seemed　like　constructs　created　to　explain　away　the　high　mortality　
rates　for　young　children；　and　to　give　men　an　excuse　for　infidelity。　Many　
of　the　stories　involved　bodiless　spirits　and　warnings　against　improper　
burials。　There　wasn't　much　that　sounded　like　the　movies　I'd　seen；　and　
only　a　very　few；　like　the　Hebrew　Estrie　and　the　Polish　Upier；　who　were　
even　preoccupied　with　drinking　blood。　

Only　three　entries　really　caught　my　attention：　the　Romanian　Varacolaci；　a　
powerful　undead　being　who　could　appear　as　a　beautiful；　paleskinned　
human；　the　Slovak　Nelapsi；　a　creature　so　strong　and　fast　it　could　
massacre　an　entire　village　in　the　single　hour　after　midnight；　and　one　
other；　the　Stregoni　benefici。　

About　this　last　there　was　only　one　brief　sentence。　

Stregoni　benefici：　An　Italian　vampire；　said　to　be　on　the　side　of　
goodness；　and　a　mortal　enemy　of　all　evil　vampires。　

It　was　a　relief；　that　one　small　entry；　the　one　myth　among　hundreds　that　
claimed　the　existence　of　good　vampires。　

Overall；　though；　there　was　little　that　coincided　with　Jacob's　stories　or　
my　own　observations。　I'd　made　a　little　catalogue　in　my　mind　as　I'd　read　
and　carefully　pared　it　with　each　myth。　Speed；　strength；　beauty；　pale　
skin；　eyes　that　shift　color；　and　then　Jacob's　criteria：　blood　drinkers；　
enemies　of　the　werewolf；　coldskinned；　and　immortal。　There　were　very　few　
myths　that　matched　even　one　factor。　

And　then　another　problem；　one　that　I'd　remembered　from　the　small　number　
of　scary　movies　that　I'd　seen　and　was　backed　up　by　today's　reading　—　
vampires　couldn't　e　out　in　the　daytime；　the　sun　would　burn　them　to　a　
cinder。　They　slept　in　coffins　all　day　and　came　out　only　at　night。　

Aggravated；　I　snapped　off　the　puter's　main　power　switch；　not　waiting　
to　shut　things　down　properly。　Through　my　irritation；　I　felt　overwhelming　
embarrassment。　It　was　all　so　stupid。　I　was　sitting　in　my　room；　
researching　vampires。　What　was　wrong　with　me？　I　decided　that　most　of　the　
blame　belonged　on　the　doorstep　of　the　town　of　Forks　—　and　the　entire　
sodden　Olympic　Peninsula；　for　that　matter。　

I　had　to　get　out　of　the　house；　but　there　was　nowhere　I　wanted　to　go　that　
didn't　involve　a　threeday　drive。　I　pulled　on　my　boots　anyway；　unclear　
where　I　was　headed；　and　went　downstairs。　I　shrugged　into　my　raincoat　
without　checking　the　weather　and　stomped　out　the　door。　

It　was　overcast；　but　not　raining　yet。　I　ignored　my　truck　and　started　east　
on　foot；　angling　across　Charlie's　yard　toward　the　everencroaching　
forest。　It　didn't　take　long　till　I　was　deep　enough　for　the　house　and　the　
road　to　be　invisible；　for　the　only　sound　to　be　the　squish　of　the　damp　
earth　under　my　feet　and　the　sudden　cries　of　the　jays。　

There　was　a　thin　ribbon　of　a　trail　that　led　through　the　forest　here；　or　I　
wouldn't　risk　wandering　on　my　own　like　this。　My　sense　of　direction　was　
hopeless；　I　could　get　lost　in　much　less　helpful　surroundings。　The　trail　
wound　deeper　and　deeper　into　the　forest；　mostly　east　as　far　as　I　could　
tell。　It　snaked　around　the　Sitka　spruces　and　the　hemlocks；　the　yews　and　
the　maples。　I　only　vaguely　knew　the　names　of　the　trees　around　me；　and　all　
I　knew　was　due　to　Charlie　pointing　them　out　to　me　from　the　cruiser　window　
in　earlier　days。　There　were　many　I　didn't　know；　and　others　I　couldn't　be　
sure　about　because　they　were　so　covered　in　green　parasites。　

I　followed　the　trail　as　long　as　my　anger　at　myself　pushed　me　forward。　As　
that　started　to　ebb；　I　slowed。　A　few　drops　of　moisture　trickled　down　from　
the　canopy　above　me；　but　I　couldn't　be　certain　if　it　was　beginning　to　
rain　or　if　it　was　simply　pools　left　over　from　yesterday；　held　high　in　the　
leaves　above　me；　slowly　dripping　their　way　back　to　the　earth。　A　recently　
fallen　tree　—　I　knew　it　was　recent　because　it　wasn't　entirely　carpeted　in　
moss　—　rested　against　the　trunk　of　one　of　her　sisters；　creating　a　
sheltered　little　bench　just　a　few　safe　feet　off　the　trail。　I　stepped　over　
the　ferns　and　sat　carefully；　making　sure　my　jacket　was　between　the　damp　
seat　and　my　clothes　wherever　they　touched；　and　leaned　my　hooded　head　back　
against　the　living　tree。　

This　was　the　wrong　place　to　have　e。　I　should　have　known；　but　where　
else　was　there　to　go？　The　forest　was　deep　green　and　far　too　much　like　the　
scene　in　last　night's　dream　to　allow　for　peace　of　mind。　Now　that　there　
was　no　longer　the　sound　of　my　soggy　footsteps；　the　silence　was　piercing。　
The　birds　were　quiet；　too；　the　drops　increasing　in　frequency；　so　it　must　
be　raining　above。　The　ferns　stood　higher　than　my　head；　now　that　I　was　
seated；　and　I　knew　someone　could　walk　by　on　the　path；　three　feet　away；　
and　not　see　me。　

Here　in　the　trees　it　was　much　easier　to　believe　the　absurdities　that　
embarrassed　me　indoors。　Nothing　had　changed　in　this　forest　for　thousands　
of　years；　and　all　the　myths　and　legends　of　a　hundred　different　lands　
seemed　much　more　likely　in　this　green　haze　than　they　had　in　my　clearcut　
bedroom。　

I　forced　myself　to　focus　on　the　two　most　vital　questions　I　had　to　answer；　
but　I　did　so　unwillingly。　

First；　I　had　to　decide　if　it　was　possible　that　what　Jacob　had　said　about　
the　Cullens　could　be　true。　

Immediately　my　mind　responded　with　a　resounding　negative。　It　was　silly　
and　morbid　to　entertain　such　ridiculous　notions。　But　what；　then？　I　asked　
myself。　There　was　no　rational　explanation　for　how　I　was　alive　at　this　
moment。　I　listed　again　in　my　head　the　things　I'd　observed　myself：　the　
impossible　speed　and　strength；　the　eye　color　shifting　from　black　to　gold　

and　back　again；　the　inhuman　beauty；　the　pale；　frigid　skin。　And　more　—　
small　things　that　registered　slowly　—　how　they　never　seemed　to　eat；　the　
disturbing　grace　with　which　they　moved。　And　the　way　be　

sometimes　spoke；　with　unfamiliar　cadences　and　phrases　that　better　fit　the　
style　of　a　turnofthecentury　novel　than　that　of　a　twentyfirstcentury　
classroom。　He　had　skipped　class　the　day　we'd　done　blood　typing。　He　hadn't　
said　no　to　the　beach　trip　till　he　heard　where　we　were　going。　He　seemed　to　
know　what　everyone　around　him　was　thinking…　except　me。　He　had　told　me　he　
was　the　villain；　dangerous…　

Could　the　Cullens　be　vampires？　

Well；　they　were　something。　Something　outside　the　possibility　of　rational　
justification　was　taking　place　in　front　of　my　incredulous　eyes。　Whether　
it　be　Jacob's　cold　ones　or　my　own　superhero　theory；　Edward　Cullen　was　
not…　human。　He　was　something　more。　

So　then　—　maybe。　That　would　have　to　be　my　answer　for　now。　

And　then　the　most　important　question　of　all。　What　was　I　going　to　do　if　it　
was　true？　

If　Edward　was　a　vampire　—　I　could　hardly　make　myself　think　the　words　—　
then　what　should　I　do？　Involving　someone　else　was　definitely　out。　I　
couldn't　even　believe　myself；　anyone　I　told　would　have　me　mitted。　

Only　two　options　seemed　practical。　The　first　was　to　take　his　advice：　to　
be　smart；　to　avoid　him　as　much　as　possible。　To　cancel　our　plans；　to　go　
back　to　ignoring　him　as　far　as　I　was　able。　To　pretend　there　was　an　
imperably　thick　glass　wall　between　us　in　the　one　class　where　we　were　
forced　together。　To　tell　him　to　leave　me　alone　—　and　mean　it　this　time。　

I　was　gripped　in　a　sudden　agony　of　despair　as　I　considered　that　
alternative。　My　mind　rejected　the　pain；　quickly　skipping　on　to　the　next　
option。　

I　could　do　nothing　different。　After　all；　if　he　was　something…　sinister；　
he'd　done　nothing　to　hurt　me　so　far。　In　fact；　I　would　be　a　dent　in　
Tyler's　fender　if　he　hadn't　acted　so　quickly。　So　quickly；　I　argued　with　
myself；　that　it　might　have　been　sheer　reflexes。　But　if　it　was　a　reflex　to　
save　lives；　how　bad　could　he　be？　I　retorted。　My　head　spun　around　in　
answerless　circles。　

There　was　one　thing　I　was　sure　of；　if　I　was　sure　of　anything。　The　dark　
Edward　in　my　dream　last　night　was　a　reflection　only　of　my　fear　of　the　
word　Jacob　had　spoken；　and　not　Edward　himself。　Even　so；　when　I'd　screamed　
out　in　terror　at　the　werewolf's　lunge；　it　wasn't　fear　for　the　wolf　that　
brought　the　cry　of　〃no〃　to　my　lips。　It　was　fear　that　he　would　be　harmed　—　
even　as　he　called　to　me　with　sharpedged　fangs；　I　feared　for　him。　

And　I　knew　in　that　I　had　my　answer。　I　didn't　know　if　there　ever　was　a　
choice；　really。　I　was　already　in　too　deep。　Now　that　I　knew　—　if　I　knew　—　
I　could　do　nothing　about　my　frightening　secret。　Because　when　I　thought　of　
him；　of　his　voice；　his　hypnotic　eyes；　the　magic　force　of　his　
personality；　I　wanted　nothing　more　than　to　be　with　him　right　now。　Even　
if…　but　I　couldn't　think　it。　Not　here；　alone　in　the　darkening　forest。　Not　
while　the　rain　made　it　dim　as　twilight　under　the　canopy　and　pattered　like　
footsteps　across　the　matted　earthen　floor。　I　shivered　and　rose　quickly　
from　my　place　of　concealment；　worried　that　somehow　the　path　would　have　
disappeared　with　the　rain。　

But　it　was　there；　safe　and　clear；　winding　its　way　out　of　the　dripping　
green　maze。　I　followed　it　hastily；　my　hood　pulled　close　around　my　face；　
being　surprised；　as　I　nearly　ran　through　the　trees；　at　how　far　I　had　
e。　I　started　to　wonder　if　I　was　heading　out　at　all；　or　following　the　
path　farther　into　the　confines　of　the　forest。　Before　I　could　get　too　
panicky；　though；　I　began　to　glimpse　some　open　spaces　through　the　webbed　
branches。　And　then　I　could　hear　a　car　passing　on　the　street；　and　I　was　
free；　Charlie's　lawn　stretched　out　in　front　of　me；　the　house　beckoning　
me；　promising　warmth　and　dry　socks。　

It　was　just　noon　when　I　got　back　inside。　I　went　upstairs　and　got　dressed　
for　the　day；　jeans　and　a　tshirt；　since　I　was　staying　indoors。　It　didn't　
take　too　much　effort　to　concentrate　on　my　task　for　the　day；　a　paper　on　
Macbeth　that　was　due　Wednesday。　I　settled　into　outlining　a　rough　draft　
contentedly；　more　serene　than　I'd　felt　since…　well；　since　Thursday　
afternoon；　if　I　was　being　honest。　

That　had　always　been　my　way；　though。　Making　decisions　was　the　painful　
part　for　me；　the　part　I　agonized　over。　But　once　the　decision　was　made；　I　
simply　followed　through　—　usually　with　relief　that　the　choice　was　made。　
Sometimes　the　relief　was　tainted　by　despair；　like　my　decision　to　e　to