1 twilight暮色-第23部分

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〃I　didn't　get　a　chance　to　talk　to　you　tonight。　How　was　your　day？〃　

〃Good。〃　I　hesitated　with　one　foot　on　the　first　stair；　searching　for　
details　I　could　safely　share。　〃My　badminton　team　won　all　four　games。〃　

〃Wow；　I　didn't　know　you　could　play　badminton。〃　

〃Well；　actually　I　can't；　but　my　partner　is　really　good；〃　I　admitted。　

〃Who　is　it？〃　he　asked　with　token　interest。　

〃Um…　Mike　Newton；〃　I　told　him　reluctantly。　

〃Oh　yeah　—　you　said　you　were　friends　with　the　Newton　kid。〃　He　perked　up。　
〃Nice　family。〃　He　mused　for　a　minute。　〃Why　didn't　you　ask　him　to　the　
dance　this　weekend？〃　

〃Dad！〃　I　groaned。　〃He's　kind　of　dating　my　friend　Jessica。　Besides；　you　
know　I　can't　dance。〃　

〃Oh　yeah；〃　he　muttered。　Then　he　smiled　at　me　apologetically。　〃So　I　guess　
it's　good　you'll　be　gone　Saturday…　I've　made　plans　to　go　fishing　with　the　
guys　from　the　station。　The　weather's　supposed　to　be　real　warm。　But　if　you　
wanted　to　put　your　trip　off　till　someone　could　go　with　you；　I'd　stay　
home。　I　know　I　leave　you　here　alone　too　much。〃　

〃Dad；　you're　doing　a　great　job。〃　I　smiled；　hoping　my　relief　didn't　show。　
〃I've　never　minded　being　alone　—　I'm　too　much　like　you。〃　I　winked　at　him；　
and　he　smiled　his　crinklyeyed　smile。　



I　slept　better　that　night；　too　tired　to　dream　again。　When　I　woke　to　the　
pearl　gray　morning；　my　mood　was　blissful。　The　tense　evening　with　Billy　
and　Jacob　seemed　harmless　enough　now；　I　decided　to　forget　it　pletely。　
I　caught　myself　whistling　while　I　was　pulling　the　front　part　of　my　hair　
back　into　a　barrette；　and　later　again　as　I　skipped　down　the　stairs。　
Charlie　noticed。　

〃You're　cheerful　this　morning；〃　he　mented　over　breakfast。　

I　shrugged。　〃It's　Friday。〃　

I　hurried　so　I　would　be　ready　to　go　the　second　Charlie　left。　I　had　my　bag　
ready；　shoes　on；　teeth　brushed；　but　even　though　I　rushed　to　the　door　as　
soon　as　I　was　sure　Charlie　would　be　out　of　sight；　Edward　was　faster。　He　
was　waiting　in　his　shiny　car；　windows　down；　engine　off。　

I　didn't　hesitate　this　time；　climbing　in　the　passenger　side　quickly；　the　
sooner　to　see　his　face。　He　grinned　his　crooked　smile　at　me；　stopping　my　
breath　and　my　heart。　I　couldn't　imagine　how　an　angel　could　be　any　more　
glorious。　There　was　nothing　about　him　that　could　be　improved　upon。　

〃How　did　you　sleep？〃　he　asked。　I　wondered　if　he　had　any　idea　how　
appealing　his　voice　was。　

〃Fine。　How　was　your　night？〃　

〃Pleasant。〃　His　smile　was　amused；　I　felt　like　I　was　missing　an　inside　
joke。　

〃Can　I　ask　what　you　did？〃　I　asked。　

〃No。〃　He　grinned。　〃Today　is　still　mine。〃　

He　wanted　to　know　about　people　today：　more　about　Renée；　her　hobbies；　what　
we'd　done　in　our　free　time　together。　And　then　the　one　grandmother　I'd　

known；　my　few　school　friends　—　embarrassing　me　when　he　asked　about　boys　
I'd　dated。　I　was　relieved　that　I'd　never　really　dated　anyone；　so　that　
particular　conversation　couldn't　last　long。　He　seemed　as　surprised　as　
Jessica　and　Angela　by　my　lack　of　romantic　history。　

〃So　you　never　met　anyone　you　wanted？〃　he　asked　in　a　serious　tone　that　
made　me　wonder　what　he　was　thinking　about。　

I　was　grudgingly　honest。　〃Not　in　Phoenix。〃　

His　lips　pressed　together　into　a　hard　line。　

We　were　in　the　cafeteria　at　this　point。　The　day　had　sped　by　in　the　blur　
that　was　rapidly　being　routine。　I　took　advantage　of　his　brief　pause　to　
take　a　bite　of　my　bagel。　

〃I　should　have　let　you　drive　yourself　today；〃　he　announced；　apropos　of　
nothing；　while　I　chewed。　

〃Why？〃　I　demanded。　

〃I'm　leaving　with　Alice　after　lunch。〃　

〃Oh。〃　I　blinked；　bewildered　and　disappointed。　〃That's　okay；　it's　not　that　
far　of　a　walk。〃　

He　frowned　at　me　impatiently。　〃I'm　not　going　to　make　you　walk　home。　We'll　
go　get　your　truck　and　leave　it　here　for　you。〃　

〃I　don't　have　my　key　with　me；〃　I　sighed。　〃I　really　don't　mind　walking。〃　
What　I　minded　was　losing　my　time　with　him。　

He　shook　his　head。　〃Your　truck　will　be　here；　and　the　key　will　be　in　the　
ignition　—　unless　you're　afraid　someone　might　steal　it。〃　He　laughed　at　
the　thought。　

〃All　right；〃　I　agreed；　pursing　my　lips。　I　was　pretty　sure　my　key　was　in　
the　pocket　of　a　pair　of　jeans　I　wore　Wednesday；　under　a　pile　of　clothes　
in　the　laundry　room。　Even　if　he　broke　into　my　house；　or　whatever　he　was　
planning；　he'd　never　find　it。　He　seemed　to　feel　the　challenge　in　my　
consent。　He　smirked；　overconfident。　

〃So　where　are　you　going？〃　I　asked　as　casually　as　I　could　manage。　

〃Hunting；〃　he　answered　grimly。　〃If　I'm　going　to　be　alone　with　you　
tomorrow；　I'm　going　to　take　whatever　precautions　I　can。〃　His　face　grew　
morose…　and　pleading。　〃You　can　always　cancel；　you　know。〃　

I　looked　down；　afraid　of　the　persuasive　power　of　his　eyes。　I　refused　to　
be　convinced　to　fear　him；　no　matter　how　real　the　danger　might　be。　It　
doesn't　matter；　I　repeated　in　my　head。　

〃No；〃　I　whispered；　glancing　back　at　his　face。　〃I　can't。〃　

〃Perhaps　you're　right；〃　he　murmured　bleakly。　His　eyes　seemed　to　darken　in　
color　as　I　watched。　

I　changed　the　subject。　〃What　time　will　I　see　you　tomorrow？〃　I　asked；　
already　depressed　by　the　thought　of　him　leaving　now。　

〃That　depends…　it's　a　Saturday；　don't　you　want　to　sleep　in？〃　he　offered。　

〃No；〃　I　answered　too　fast。　He　restrained　a　smile。　

〃The　same　time　as　usual；　then；〃　he　decided。　〃Will　Charlie　be　there？〃　

〃No；　he's　fishing　tomorrow。〃　I　beamed　at　the　memory　of　how　conveniently　
things　had　worked　out。　

His　voice　turned　sharp。　〃And　if　you　don't　e　home；　what　will　he　think？〃　

〃I　have　no　idea；〃　I　answered　coolly。　〃He　knows　I've　been　meaning　to　do　

the　laundry。　Maybe　he'll　think　I　fell　in　the　washer。〃　

He　scowled　at　me　and　I　scowled　back。　His　anger　was　much　more　impressive　
than　mine。　

〃What　are　you　hunting　tonight？〃　I　asked　when　I　was　sure　I　had　lost　the　
glowering　contest。　

〃Whatever　we　find　in　the　park。　We　aren't　going　far。〃　He　seemed　bemused　by　
my　casual　reference　to　his　secret　realities。　

〃Why　are　you　going　with　Alice？〃　I　wondered。　

〃Alice　is　the　most…　supportive。〃　He　frowned　as　he　spoke。　

〃And　the　others？〃　I　asked　timidly。　〃What　are　they？〃　

His　brow　puckered　for　a　brief　moment。　〃Incredulous；　for　the　most　part。〃　

I　peeked　quickly　behind　me　at　his　family。　They　sat　staring　off　in　
different　directions；　exactly　the　same　as　the　first　time　I'd　seen　them。　
Only　now　they　were　four；　their　beautiful；　bronzehaired　brother　sat　
across　from　me；　his　golden　eyes　troubled。　

〃They　don't　like　me；〃　I　guessed。　

〃That's　not　it；〃　he　disagreed；　but　his　eyes　were　too　innocent。　〃They　
don't　understand　why　I　can't　leave　you　alone。〃　

I　grimaced。　〃Neither　do　I；　for　that　matter。〃　

Edward　shook　his　head　slowly；　rolling　his　eyes　toward　the　ceiling　before　
he　met　my　gaze　again。　〃I　told　you　—　you　don't　see　yourself　clearly　at　
all。　You're　not　like　anyone　I've　ever　known。　You　fascinate　me。〃　

I　glared　at　him；　sure　he　was　teasing　now。　

He　smiled　as　he　deciphered　my　expression。　〃Having　the　advantages　I　do；〃　
he　murmured；　touching　his　forehead　discreetly；　〃I　have　a　better　than　
average　grasp　of　human　nature。　People　are　predictable。　But　you…　you　never　
do　what　I　expect。　You　always　take　me　by　surprise。〃　

I　looked　away；　my　eyes　wandering　back　to　his　family；　embarrassed　and　
dissatisfied。　His　words　made　me　feel　like　a　science　experiment。　I　wanted　
to　laugh　at　myself　for　expecting　anything　else。　

〃That　part　is　easy　enough　to　explain；〃　he　continued。　I　felt　his　eyes　on　
my　face　but　I　couldn't　look　at　him　yet；　afraid　he　might　read　the　chagrin　
in　my　eyes。　〃But　there's　more…　and　it's　not　so　easy　to　put　into　words　—〃　

I　was　still　staring　at　the　Cullens　while　he　spoke。　Suddenly　Rosalie；　his　
blond　and　breathtaking　sister；　turned　to　look　at　me。　No；　not　to　look　—　to　
glare；　with　dark；　cold　eyes。　I　wanted　to　look　away；　but　her　gaze　held　me　
until　Edward　broke　off　midsentence　and　made　an　angry　noise　under　his　
breath。　It　was　almost　a　hiss。　

Rosalie　turned　her　head；　and　I　was　relieved　to　be　free。　I　looked　back　at　
Edward　—　and　I　knew　he　could　see　the　confusion　and　fear　that　widened　my　
eyes。　

His　face　was　tight　as　he　explained。　〃I'm　sorry　about　that。　She's　just　
worried。　You　see…　it's　dangerous　for　more　than　just　me　if；　after　spending　
so　much　time　with　you　so　publicly…〃　He　looked　down。　

〃If？〃　

〃If　this　ends…　badly。〃　He　dropped　his　head　into　his　hands；　as　he　had　that　
night　in　Port　Angeles。　His　anguish　was　plain；　I　yearned　to　fort　him；　
but　I　was　at　a　loss　to　know　how。　My　hand　reached　toward　him　
involuntarily；　quickly；　though；　I　dropped　it　to　the　table；　fearing　that　
my　touch　would　only　make　things　worse。　I　realized　slowly　that　his　words　
should　frighten　me。　I　waited　for　that　fear　to　e；　but　all　I　could　seem　

to　feel　was　an　ache　for　his　pain。　

And　frustration　—　frustration　that　Rosalie　had　interrupted　whatever　he　
was　about　to　say。　I　didn't　know　how　to　bring　it　up　again。　He　still　had　
his　head　in　his　hands。　

I　tried　to　speak　in　a　normal　voice。　〃And　you　have　to　leave　now？〃　

〃Yes。〃　He　raised　his　face；　it　was　serious　for　a　moment；　and　then　his　mood　
shifted　and　he　smiled。　〃It's　probably　for　the　best。　We　still　have　fifteen　
minutes　of　that　wretched　movie　left　to　endure　in　Biology　—　I　don't　think　
I　could　take　any　more。〃　

I　started。　Alice　—　her　short；　inky　hair　in　a　halo　of　spiky　disarray　
around　her　exquisite；　elfin　face　—　was　suddenly　standing　behind　his　
shoulder。　Her　slight　frame　was　willowy；　graceful　even　in　absolute　
stillness。　

He　greeted　her　without　looking　away　from　me。　〃Alice。〃　

〃Edward；〃　she　answered；　her　high　soprano　voice　almost　as　attractive　as　
his。　

〃Alice；　Bella　—　Bella；　Alice；〃　he　introduced　us；　gesturing　casually　with　
his　hand；　a　wry　smile　on　his　face。　

〃Hello；　Bella。〃　Her　brilliant　obsidian　eyes　were　unreadable；　but　her　
smile　was　friendly。　〃It's　nice　to　finally　meet　you。〃　

Edward　flashed　a　dark　look　at　her。　

〃Hi；　Alice；〃　I　murmured　shyly。　

〃Are　you　ready？〃　she　asked　him。　

His　voice　was　aloof。　〃Nearly。　I'll　meet　you　at　the　car。〃　

She　left　without　another　word；　her　walk　was　so　fluid；　so　sinuous　that　I　
felt　a　sharp　pang　of　jealousy。　

〃Should　I　say　'have　fun；'　or　is　that　the　wrong　sentiment？〃　I　asked；　
turning　back　to　him。　

〃No；　'have　fun'　works　as　well　as　anything。〃　He　grinned。　

〃Have　fun；　then。〃　I　worked　to　sound　wholehearted。　Of　course　I　didn't　fool　
him。　

〃I'll　try。〃　He　still　grinned。　〃And　you　try　to　be　safe；　please。〃　

〃Safe　in　Forks　—　what　a　challenge。〃　

〃For　you　it　is　a　challenge。〃　His　jaw　hardened。　〃Promise。〃　

〃I　promise　to　try　to　be　safe；〃　I　recited。　〃I'll　do　the　laundry　tonight　—　
that　ought　to　be　fraught　with　peril。〃　

〃Don't　fall　in；〃　he　mocked。　

〃I'll　do　my　best。〃　

He　stood　then；　and　I　rose；　too。　

〃I'll　see　you　tomorrow；〃　I　sighed。　

〃It　seems　like　a　long　time　to　you；　doesn't　it？〃　he　mused。　

I　nodded　glumly。　

〃I'll　be　there　in　the　morning；〃　he　promised；　smiling　his　crooked　smile。　
He　reached　across　the　table　to　touch　my　face；　lightly　brushing　along　my　
cheekbone　again。　Then　he　turned　and　walked　away。　I　stared　after　him　until　

he　was　gone。　

I　was　sorely　tempted　to　ditch　the　rest　of　the　day；　at　the　very　least　Gym；　
but　a　warning　instinct　stopped　me。　I　knew　that　if　I　disappeared　now；　Mike　
and　others　would　assume　I　was　with　Edward。　And　Edward　was　worried　about　
the　time　we'd　spent　together　publicly…　if　things　went　wrong。　I　refused　to　
dwell　on　the　last　thought；　concentrating　instead　on　making　things　safer　
for　him。　

I　intuitively　knew　—　and　sensed　he　did；　too　—　that　tomorrow　would　be　
pivotal。　Our　relationship　couldn't　continue　to　balance；　as　it　did；　on　the　
point　of　a　knife。　We　would　fall　off　one　edge　or　the　other；　depending　
entirely　upon　his　decision；　or　his　instincts。　My　decision　was　made；　made　
before　I'd　ever　consciously　chosen；　and　I　was　mitted　to　seeing　it　
through。　Because　there　was　nothing　more　terrifying　to　me；　more　
excruciating；　than　the　thought　of　turning　away　from　him。　It　was　an　
impossibility。　

I　went　to　class；　feeling　dutiful。　I　couldn't　honestly　say　what　happened　
in　Biology；　my　mind　was　too　preoccupied　with　thoughts　of　tomorrow。　In　
Gym；　Mike　was　speaking　to　me　again；　he　wished　me　a　good　time　in　Seattle。　
I　carefully　explained　that　I'd　canceled　my　trip；　worried　about　my　truck。　

〃Are　you　going　to　the　dance　with　Cullen？〃　he　asked；　suddenly　sulky。　

〃No；　I'm　not　going　to　the　dance　at　all。〃　

〃What　are　you　doing；　then？〃　he　asked；　too　interested。　

My　natural　urge　was　to　tell　him　to　butt　out。　Instead；　I　lied　brightly。　

〃Laundry；　and　then　I　have　to　study　for　the　Trig　test　or　I'm　going　to　
fail。〃　

〃Is　Cullen　helping　you　study？〃　

〃Edward；〃　I　emphasized；　〃is　not　going　to　help　me　study。　He's　gone　away　
somewhere　for　the　weekend。〃　The　lies　came　more　naturally　than　usual；　I　
noted　with　surprise。　

〃Oh。〃　He　perked　up。　〃You　know；　you　could　e　to　the　dance　with　our　group　
anyway　—　that　would　be　cool。　We'd　all　dance　with　you；〃　he　promised。　

The　mental　image　of　Jessica's　face　made　my　tone　sharper　than　necessary。　

〃I'm　not　going　to　the　dance；　Mike；　okay？〃　

〃Fine。〃　He　sulked　again。　〃I　was　just　offering。〃　

When　the　school　day　had　finally　ended；　I　walked　to　the　parking　lot　
without　enthusiasm。　I　did　not　especially　want　to　walk　home；　but　I　
couldn't　see　how　he　would　have　retrieved　my　truck。　Then　again；　I　was　
starting　to　believe　that　nothing　was　impossible　for　him。　The　latter　
instinct　proved　correct　—　my　truck　sat　in　the　same　space　he'd　parked　his　
Volvo　in　this　morning。　I　shook　my　head；　incredulous；　as　I　opened　the　
unlocked　door　and　saw　the　key　in　the　ignition。　

There　was　a　piece　of　white　paper　folded　on　my　seat。　I　got　in　and　closed　
the　door　before　I　unfolded　it。　Two　words　were　written　in　his　elegant　
script。　



Be　safe。　

The　sound　of　the　truck　roaring　to　life　frightened　me。　I　laughed　at　myself。　

When　I　got　home；　the　handle　of　the　door　was　locked；　the　dead　bolt　
unlocked；　just　as　I'd　left　it　this　morning。　Inside；　I　went　straight　to　
the　laundry　room。　It　looked　just　the　same　as　I'd　left　it；　too。　I　dug　for　
my　jeans　and；　after　finding　them；　checked　the　pockets。　Empty。　Maybe　I'd　
hung　my　key　up　after　all；　I　thought；　shaking　my　head。　

Following　the　same　instinct　that　had　prompted　me　to　lie　to　Mike；　I　called　
Jessica　on　the　pretense　of　wishing　her　luck　at　the　dance。　When　she　
offered　the　same　wish　for　my　day　with　Edward；　I　told　her　about　the　
cancellation。　She　was　more　disappointed　than　really　necessary　for　a　
thirdparty　observer　to　be。　I　said　goodbye　quickly　after　that。　

Charlie　was　absentminded　at　dinner；　worried　over　something　at　work；　I　
guessed；　or　maybe　a　basketball　game；　or　maybe　he　was　just　really　enjoying　
the　lasagna　—　it　was　hard　to　tell　with　Charlie。　

〃You　know；　Dad…〃　I　began；　breaking　into　his　reverie。　

〃What's　that；　Bell？〃　

〃I　think　you're　right　about　Seattle。　I　think　I'll　wait　until　Jessica　or　
someone　else　can　go　with　me。〃　

〃Oh；〃　he　said；　surprised。　〃Oh；　okay。　So；　do　you　want　me　to　stay　home？〃　

〃No；　Dad；　don't　change　your　plans。　I've　got　a　million　things　to　do…　
homework；　laundry…　I　need　to　go　to　the　library　and　the　grocery　store。　
I'll　be　in　and　out　all　day…　you　go　and　have　fun。〃　

〃Are　you　sure？〃　

〃Absolutely；　Dad。　Besides；　the　freezer　is　getting　dangerously　l