1 twilight暮色-第4部分

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walked　swiftly　out　to　the　parking　lot。　It　was　crowded　now　with　fleeing　
students。　I　got　in　my　truck　and　dug　through　my　bag　to　make　sure　I　had　
what　I　needed。　

Last　night　I'd　discovered　that　Charlie　couldn't　cook　much　besides　fried　
eggs　and　bacon。　So　I　requested　that　I　be　assigned　kitchen　detail　for　the　
duration　of　my　stay。　He　was　willing　enough　to　hand　over　the　keys　to　the　
banquet　hall。　I　also　found　out　that　he　had　no　food　in　the　house。　So　I　had　
my　shopping　list　and　the　cash　from　the　jar　in　the　cupboard　labeled　FOOD　

MONEY；　and　I　was　on　my　way　to　the　Thriftway。　

I　gunned　my　deafening　engine　to　life；　ignoring　the　heads　that　turned　in　
my　direction；　and　backed　carefully　into　a　place　in　the　line　of　cars　that　
were　waiting　to　exit　the　parking　lot。　As　I　waited；　trying　to　pretend　that　
the　earsplitting　rumble　was　ing　from　someone　else's　car；　I　saw　the　two　
Cullens　and　the　Hale　twins　getting　into　their　car。　It　was　the　shiny　new　
Volvo。　Of　course。　I　hadn't　noticed　their　clothes　before　—　I'd　been　too　
mesmerized　by　their　faces。　Now　that　I　looked；　it　was　obvious　that　they　
were　all　dressed　exceptionally　well；　simply；　but　in　clothes　that　subtly　
hinted　at　designer　origins。　With　their　remarkable　good　looks；　the　style　
with　which　they　carried　themselves；　they　could　have　worn　dishrags　and　
pulled　it　off。　It　seemed　excessive　for　them　to　have　both　looks　and　money。　
But　as　far　as　I　could　tell；　life　worked　that　way　most　of　the　time。　It　
didn't　look　as　if　it　bought　them　any　acceptance　here。　

No；　I　didn't　fully　believe　that。　The　isolation　must　be　their　desire；　I　
couldn't　imagine　any　door　that　wouldn't　be　opened　by　that　degree　of　
beauty。　

They　looked　at　my　noisy　truck　as　I　passed　them；　just　like　everyone　else。　
I　kept　my　eyes　straight　forward　and　was　relieved　when　I　finally　was　free　
of　the　school　grounds。　

The　Thriftway　was　not　far　from　the　school；　just　a　few　streets　south；　off　
the　highway。　It　was　nice　to　be　inside　the　supermarket；　it　felt　normal。　I　
did　the　shopping　at　home；　and　I　fell　into　the　pattern　of　the　familiar　
task　gladly。　The　store　was　big　enough　inside　that　I　couldn't　hear　the　
tapping　of　the　rain　on　the　roof　to　remind　me　where　I　was。　

When　I　got　home；　I　unloaded　all　the　groceries；　stuffing　them　in　wherever　
I　could　find　an　open　space。　I　hoped　Charlie　wouldn't　mind。　I　wrapped　
potatoes　in　foil　and　stuck　them　in　the　oven　to　bake；　covered　a　steak　in　
marinade　and　balanced　it　on　top　of　a　carton　of　eggs　in　the　fridge。　

When　I　was　finished　with　that；　I　took　my　book　bag　upstairs。　Before　
starting　my　homework；　I　changed　into　a　pair　of　dry　sweats；　pulled　my　damp　
hair　up　into　a　ponytail；　and　checked　my　email　for　the　first　time。　I　had　
three　messages。　

〃Bella；〃　my　mom　wrote…　



Write　me　as　soon　as　you　get　in。　Tell　me　how　your　flight　was。　Is　it　
raining？　I　miss　you　already。　I'm　almost　finished　packing　for　Florida；　but　
I　can't　find　my　pink　blouse。　Do　you　know　where　I　put　it？　Phil　says　hi。　
Mom。　



I　sighed　and　went　to　the　next。　It　was　sent　eight　hours　after　the　first。　

〃Bella；〃　she　wrote…　



Why　haven't　you　emailed　me　yet？　What　are　you　waiting　for？　Mom。　



The　last　was　from　this　morning。　



Isabella；　

If　I　haven't　heard　from　you　by　5：30　p。m。　today　I'm　calling　Charlie。　



I　checked　the　clock。　I　still　had　an　hour；　but　my　mom　was　well　known　for　

jumping　the　gun。　



Mom；　

Calm　down。　I'm　writing　right　now。　Don't　do　anything　rash。　

Bella。　



I　sent　that；　and　began　again。　



Mom；　

Everything　is　great。　Of　course　it's　raining。　I　was　waiting　for　something　
to　write　about。　School　isn't　bad；　just　a　little　repetitive。　I　met　some　
nice　kids　who　sit　by　me　at　lunch。　

Your　blouse　is　at　the　dry　cleaners　　you　were　supposed　to　pick　it　up　
Friday。　

Charlie　bought　me　a　truck；　can　you　believe　it？　I　love　it。　It's　old；　but　
really　sturdy；　which　is　good；　you　know；　for　me。　

I　miss　you；　too。　I'll　write　again　soon；　but　I'm　not　going　to　check　my　
email　every　five　minutes。　Relax；　breathe。　I　love　you。　

Bella。　



I　had　decided　to　read　Wuthering　Heights　—　the　novel　we　were　currently　
studying　in　English　—　yet　again　for　the　fun　of　it；　and　that's　what　I　was　
doing　when　Charlie　came　home。　I'd　lost　track　of　the　time；　and　I　hurried　
downstairs　to　take　the　potatoes　out　and　put　the　steak　in　to　broil。　

〃Bella？〃　my　father　called　out　when　he　heard　me　on　the　stairs。　

Who　else？　I　thought　to　myself。　

〃Hey；　Dad；　wele　home。〃　

〃Thanks。〃　He　hung　up　his　gun　belt　and　stepped　out　of　his　boots　as　I　
bustled　about　the　kitchen。　As　far　as　I　was　aware；　he'd　never　shot　the　gun　
on　the　job。　But　he　kept　it　ready。　When　I　came　here　as　a　child；　he　would　
always　remove　the　bullets　as　soon　as　he　walked　in　the　door。　I　guess　he　
considered　me　old　enough　now　not　to　shoot　myself　by　accident；　and　not　
depressed　enough　to　shoot　myself　on　purpose。　

〃What's　for　dinner？〃　he　asked　warily。　My　mother　was　an　imaginative　cook；　
and　her　experiments　weren't　always　edible。　I　was　surprised；　and　sad；　that　
he　seemed　to　remember　that　far　back。　

〃Steak　and　potatoes；〃　I　answered；　and　he　looked　relieved。　

He　seemed　to　feel　awkward　standing　in　the　kitchen　doing　nothing；　he　
lumbered　into　the　living　room　to　watch　TV　while　I　worked。　We　were　both　
more　fortable　that　way。　I　made　a　salad　while　the　steaks　cooked；　and　
set　the　table。　

I　called　him　in　when　dinner　was　ready；　and　he　sniffed　appreciatively　as　
he　walked　into　the　room。　

〃Smells　good；　Bell。〃　

〃Thanks。〃　

We　ate　in　silence　for　a　few　minutes。　It　wasn't　unfortable。　Neither　of　

us　was　bothered　by　the　quiet。　In　some　ways；　we　were　well　suited　for　
living　together。　

〃So；　how　did　you　like　school？　Have　you　made　any　friends？〃　he　asked　as　he　
was　taking　seconds。　

〃Well；　I　have　a　few　classes　with　a　girl　named　Jessica。　I　sit　with　her　
friends　at　lunch。　And　there's　this　boy；　Mike；　who's　very　friendly。　
Everybody　seems　pretty　nice。〃　With　one　outstanding　exception。　

〃That　must　be　Mike　Newton。　Nice　kid　—　nice　family。　His　dad　owns　the　
sporting　goods　store　just　outside　of　town。　He　makes　a　good　living　off　all　
the　backpackers　who　e　through　here。〃　

〃Do　you　know　the　Cullen　family？〃　I　asked　hesitantly。　

〃Dr。　Cullen's　family？　Sure。　Dr。　Cullen's　a　great　man。〃　

〃They…　the　kids…　are　a　little　different。　They　don't　seem　to　fit　in　very　
well　at　school。〃　

Charlie　surprised　me　by　looking　angry。　

〃People　in　this　town；〃　he　muttered。　〃Dr。　Cullen　is　a　brilliant　surgeon　
who　could　probably　work　in　any　hospital　in　the　world；　make　ten　times　the　
salary　he　gets　here；〃　he　continued；　getting　louder。　〃We're　lucky　to　have　
him　—　lucky　that　his　wife　wanted　to　live　in　a　small　town。　He's　an　asset　
to　the　munity；　and　all　of　those　kids　are　well　behaved　and　polite。　I　
had　my　doubts；　when　they　first　moved　in；　with　all　those　adopted　
teenagers。　I　thought　we　might　have　some　problems　with　them。　But　they're　
all　very　mature　—　I　haven't　had　one　speck　of　trouble　from　any　of　them。　
That's　more　than　I　can　say　for　the　children　of　some　folks　who　have　lived　
in　this　town　for　generations。　And　they　stick　together　the　way　a　family　
should　—　camping　trips　every　other　weekend…　Just　because　they're　
newers；　people　have　to　talk。〃　

It　was　the　longest　speech　I'd　ever　heard　Charlie　make。　He　must　feel　
strongly　about　whatever　people　were　saying。　

I　backpedaled。　〃They　seemed　nice　enough　to　me。　I　just　noticed　they　kept　
to　themselves。　They're　all　very　attractive；〃　I　added；　trying　to　be　more　
plimentary。　

〃You　should　see　the　doctor；〃　Charlie　said；　laughing。　〃It's　a　good　thing　
he's　happily　married。　A　lot　of　the　nurses　at　the　hospital　have　a　hard　
time　concentrating　on　their　work　with　him　around。〃　

We　lapsed　back　into　silence　as　we　finished　eating。　He　cleared　the　table　
while　I　started　on　the　dishes。　He　went　back　to　the　TV；　and　after　I　
finished　washing　the　dishes　by　hand　—　no　dishwasher　—　I　went　upstairs　
unwillingly　to　work　on　my　math　homework。　I　could　feel　a　tradition　in　the　
making。　

That　night　it　was　finally　quiet。　I　fell　asleep　quickly；　exhausted。　

The　rest　of　the　week　was　uneventful。　I　got　used　to　the　routine　of　my　
classes。　By　Friday　I　was　able　to　recognize；　if　not　name；　almost　all　the　
students　at　school。　In　Gym；　the　kids　on　my　team　learned　not　to　pass　me　
the　ball　and　to　step　quickly　in　front　of　me　if　the　other　team　tried　to　
take　advantage　of　my　weakness。　I　happily　stayed　out　of　their　way。　

Edward　Cullen　didn't　e　back　to　school。　

Every　day；　I　watched　anxiously　until　the　rest　of　the　Cullens　entered　the　
cafeteria　without　him。　Then　I　could　relax　and　join　in　the　lunchtime　
conversation。　Mostly　it　centered　around　a　trip　to　the　La　Push　Ocean　Park　
in　two　weeks　that　Mike　was　putting　together。　I　was　invited；　and　I　had　
agreed　to　go；　more　out　of　politeness　than　desire。　Beaches　should　be　hot　
and　dry。　

By　Friday　I　was　perfectly　fortable　entering　my　Biology　class；　no　
longer　worried　that　Edward　would　be　there。　For　all　I　knew；　he　had　dropped　

out　of　school。　I　tried　not　to　think　about　him；　but　I　couldn't　totally　
suppress　the　worry　that　I　was　responsible　for　his　continued　absence；　
ridiculous　as　it　seemed。　

My　first　weekend　in　Forks　passed　without　incident。　Charlie；　unused　to　
spending　time　in　the　usually　empty　house；　worked　most　of　the　weekend。　I　
cleaned　the　house；　got　ahead　on　my　homework；　and　wrote　my　mom　more　
bogusly　cheerful　email。　I　did　drive　to　the　library　Saturday；　but　it　was　
so　poorly　stocked　that　I　didn't　bother　to　get　a　card；　I　would　have　to　
make　a　date　to　visit　Olympia　or　Seattle　soon　and　find　a　good　bookstore。　I　
wondered　idly　what　kind　of　gas　mileage　the　truck　got…　and　shuddered　at　
the　thought。　

The　rain　stayed　soft　over　the　weekend；　quiet；　so　I　was　able　to　sleep　well。　

People　greeted　me　in　the　parking　lot　Monday　morning。　I　didn't　know　all　
their　names；　but　I　waved　back　and　smiled　at　everyone。　It　was　colder　this　
morning；　but　happily　not　raining。　In　English；　Mike　took　his　accustomed　
seat　by　my　side。　We　had　a　pop　quiz　on　Wuthering　Heights。　It　was　
straightforward；　very　easy。　

All　in　all；　I　was　feeling　a　lot　more　fortable　than　I　had　thought　I　
would　feel　by　this　point。　More　fortable　than　I　had　ever　expected　to　
feel　here。　

When　we　walked　out　of　class；　the　air　was　full　of　swirling　bits　of　white。　
I　could　hear　people　shouting　excitedly　to　each　other。　The　wind　bit　at　my　
cheeks；　my　nose。　

〃Wow；〃　Mike　said。　〃It's　snowing。〃　

I　looked　at　the　little　cotton　fluffs　that　were　building　up　along　the　
sidewalk　and　swirling　erratically　past　my　face。　

〃Ew。〃　Snow。　There　went　my　good　day。　

He　looked　surprised。　〃Don't　you　like　snow？〃　

〃No。　That　means　it's　too　cold　for　rain。〃　Obviously。　〃Besides；　I　thought　
it　was　supposed　to　e　down　in　flakes　—　you　know；　each　one　unique　and　
all　that。　These　just　look　like　the　ends　of　Qtips。〃　

〃Haven't　you　ever　seen　snow　fall　before？〃　he　asked　incredulously。　

〃Sure　I　have。〃　I　paused。　〃On　TV。〃　

Mike　laughed。　And　then　a　big；　squishy　ball　of　dripping　snow　smacked　into　
the　back　of　his　head。　We　both　turned　to　see　where　it　came　from。　I　had　my　
suspicions　about　Eric；　who　was　walking　away；　his　back　toward　us　—　in　the　
wrong　direction　for　his　next　class。　Mike　appatently　had　the　same　notion。　
He　bent　over　and　began　scraping　together　a　pile　of　the　white　mush。　

〃I'll　see　you　at　lunch；　okay？〃　I　kept　walking　as　I　spoke。　〃Once　people　
start　throwing　wet　stuff；　I　go　inside。〃　

He　just　nodded；　his　eyes　on　Eric's　retreating　figure。　

Throughout　the　morning；　everyone　chattered　excitedly　about　the　snow；　
apparently　it　was　the　first　snowfall　of　the　new　year。　I　kept　my　mouth　
shut。　Sure；　it　was　drier　than　rain　—　until　it　melted　in　your　socks。　

I　walked　alertly　to　the　cafeteria　with　Jessica　after　Spanish。　Mush　balls　
were　flying　everywhere。　I　kept　a　binder　in　my　hands；　ready　to　use　it　as　a　
shield　if　necessary。　Jessica　thought　I　was　hilarious；　but　something　in　my　
expression　kept　her　from　lobbing　a　snowball　at　me　herself。　

Mike　caught　up　to　us　as　we　walked　in　the　doors；　laughing；　with　ice　
melting　the　spikes　in　his　hair。　He　and　Jessica　were　talking　animatedly　
about　the　snow　fight　as　we　got　in　line　to　buy　food。　I　glanced　toward　that　
table　in　the　corner　out　of　habit。　And　then　I　froze　where　I　stood。　There　
were　five　people　at　the　table。　

Jessica　pulled　on　my　arm。　

〃Hello？　Bella？　What　do　you　want？〃　

I　looked　down；　my　ears　were　hot。　I　had　no　reason　to　feel　selfconscious；　
I　reminded　myself。　I　hadn't　done　anything　wrong。　

〃What's　with　Bella？〃　Mike　asked　Jessica。　

〃Nothing；〃　I　answered。　〃I'll　just　get　a　soda　today。〃　I　caught　up　to　the　
end　of　the　line。　

〃Aren't　you　hungry？〃　Jessica　asked。　

〃Actually；　I　feel　a　little　sick；〃　I　said；　my　eyes　still　on　the　floor。　

I　waited　for　them　to　get　their　food；　and　then　followed　them　to　a　table；　
my　eyes　on　my　feet。　

I　sipped　my　soda　slowly；　my　stomach　churning。　Twice　Mike　asked；　with　
unnecessary　concern；　how　I　was　feeling。　

I　told　him　it　was　nothing；　but　I　was　wondering　if　I　should　play　it　up　and　
escape　to　the　nurse's　office　for　the　next　hour。　

Ridiculous。　I　shouldn't　have　to　run　away。　

I　decided　to　permit　myself　one　glance　at　the　Cullen　family's　table。　If　he　
was　glaring　at　me；　I　would　skip　Biology；　like　the　coward　I　was。　

I　kept　my　head　down　and　glanced　up　under　my　lashes。　None　of　them　were　
looking　this　way。　I　lifted　my　head　a　little。　

They　were　laughing。　Edward；　Jasper；　and　Emmett　all　had　their　hair　
entirely　saturated　with　melting　snow。　Alice　and　Rosalie　were　leaning　away　
as　Emmett　shook　his　dripping　hair　toward　them。　They　were　enjoying　the　
snowy　day；　just　like　everyone　else　—　only　they　looked　more　like　a　scene　
from　a　movie　than　the　rest　of　us。　

But；　aside　from　the　laughter　and　playfulness；　there　was　something　
different；　and　I　couldn't　quite　pinpoint　what　that　difference　was。　I　
examined　Edward　the　most　carefully。　His　skin　was　less　pale；　I　decided　—　
flushed　from　the　snow　fight　maybe　—　the　circles　under　his　eyes　much　less　
noticeable。　But　there　was　something　more。　I　pondered；　staring；　trying　to　
isolate　the　change。　

〃Bella；　what　are　you　staring　at？〃　Jessica　intruded；　her　eyes　following　my　
stare。　

At　that　precise　moment；　his　eyes　flashed　over　to　meet　mine。　

I　dropped　my　head；　letting　my　hair　fall　to　conceal　my　face。　I　was　sure；　
though；　in　the　instant　our　eyes　met；　that　he　didn't　look　harsh　or　
unfriendly　as　he　had　the　last　time　I'd　seen　him。　He　looked　merely　curious　
again；　unsatisfied　in　some　way。　

〃Edward　Cullen　is　staring　at　you；〃　Jessica　giggled　in　my　ear。　

〃He　doesn't　look　angry；　does　he？〃　I　couldn't　help　asking。　

〃No；〃　she　said；　sounding　confused　by　my　question。　〃Should　he　be？〃　

〃I　don't　think　he　likes　me；〃　I　confided。　I　still　felt　queasy。　I　put　my　
head　down　on　my　arm。　

〃The　Cullens　don't　like　anybody…　well；　they　don't　notice　anybody　enough　
to　like　them。　But　he's　still　staring　at　you。〃　

〃Stop　looking　at　him；〃　I　hissed。　

She　snickered；　but　she　looked　away。　I　raised　my　head　enough　to　make　sure　
that　she　did；　contemplating　violence　if　she　resisted。　

Mike　interrupted　us　then　—　he　was　planning　an　epic　battle　of　the　blizzard　
in　the　parking　lot　after　school　and　wanted　us　to　join。　Jessica　agreed　
enthusiastically。　The　way　she　looked　at