1 twilight暮色-第45部分

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Alice　caught　my　eye　on　a　turn　and　smiled　in　encouragement　—　I　smiled　
back。　I　was　surprised　to　realize　that　I　was　actually　enjoying　myself…　a　
little。　

〃Okay；　this　isn't　half　bad；〃　I　admitted。　

But　Edward　was　staring　toward　the　doors；　and　his　face　was　angry。　

〃What　is　it？〃　I　wondered　aloud。　I　followed　his　gaze；　disoriented　by　the　
spinning；　but　finally　I　could　see　what　was　bothering　him。　Jacob　Black；　
not　in　a　tux；　but　in　a　longsleeved　white　shirt　and　tie；　his　hair　
smoothed　back　into　his　usual　ponytail；　was　crossing　the　floor　toward　us。　

After　the　first　shock　of　recognition；　I　couldn't　help　but　feel　bad　for　
Jacob。　He　was　clearly　unfortable　—　excruciatingly　so。　His　face　was　
apologetic　as　his　eyes　met　mine。　

Edward　snarled　very　quietly。　

〃Behave！〃　I　hissed。　

Edward's　voice　was　scathing。　〃He　wants　to　chat　with　you。〃　

Jacob　reached　us　then；　the　embarrassment　and　apology　even　more　evident　on　
his　face。　

〃Hey；　Bella；　I　was　hoping　you　would　be　here。〃　Jacob　sounded　like　he'd　
been　hoping　the　exact　opposite。　But　his　smile　was　just　as　warm　as　ever。　

〃Hi；　Jacob。〃　I　smiled　back。　〃What's　up？〃　

〃Can　I　cut　in？〃　he　asked　tentatively；　glancing　at　Edward　for　the　first　
time。　I　was　shocked　to　notice　that　Jacob　didn't　have　to　look　up。　He　must　
have　grown　half　a　foot　since　the　first　time　I'd　seen　him。　

Edward's　face　was　posed；　his　expression　blank。　His　only　answer　was　to　
set　me　carefully　on　my　feet；　and　take　a　step　back。　

〃Thanks；〃　Jacob　said　amiably。　

Edward　just　nodded；　looking　at　me　intently　before　he　turned　to　walk　away。　

Jacob　put　his　hands　on　my　waist；　and　I　reached　up　to　put　my　hands　on　his　
shoulders。　

〃Wow；　Jake；　how　tall　are　you　now？〃　

He　was　smug。　〃Sixtwo。〃　

We　weren't　really　dancing　—　my　leg　made　that　impossible。　Instead　we　
swayed　awkwardly　from　side　to　side　without　moving　our　feet。　It　was　just　
as　well；　the　recent　growth　spurt　had　left　him　looking　gangly　and　
uncoordinated；　he　was　probably　no　better　a　dancer　than　I　was。　

〃So；　how　did　you　end　up　here　tonight？〃　I　asked　without　true　curiosity。　
Considering　Edward's　reaction；　I　could　guess。　

〃Can　you　believe　my　dad　paid　me　twenty　bucks　to　e　to　your　prom？〃　he　
admitted；　slightly　ashamed。　

〃Yes；　I　can；〃　I　muttered。　〃Well；　I　hope　you're　enjoying　yourself；　at　
least。　Seen　anything　you　like？〃　I　teased；　nodding　toward　a　group　of　girls　
lined　up　against　the　wall　like　pastel　confections。　

〃Yeah；〃　he　sighed。　〃But　she's　taken。〃　

He　glanced　down　to　meet　my　curious　gaze　for　just　a　second　—　then　we　both　
looked　away；　embarrassed。　

〃You　look　really　pretty；　by　the　way；〃　he　added　shyly。　

〃Um；　thanks。　So　why　did　Billy　pay　you　to　e　here？〃　I　asked　quickly；　
though　I　knew　the　answer。　

Jacob　didn't　seem　grateful　for　the　subject　change；　he　looked　away；　
unfortable　again。　〃He　said　it　was　a　'safe'　place　to　talk　to　you。　I　
swear　the　old　man　is　losing　his　mind。〃　

I　joined　in　his　laughter　weakly。　

〃Anyway；　he　said　that　if　I　told　you　something；　he　would　get　me　that　
master　cylinder　I　need；〃　he　confessed　with　a　sheepish　grin。　

〃Tell　me；　then。　I　want　you　to　get　your　car　finished。〃　I　grinned　back。　At　
least　Jacob　didn't　believe　any　of　this。　It　made　the　situation　a　bit　
easier。　Against　the　wall；　Edward　was　watching　my　face；　his　own　face　
expressionless。　I　saw　a　sophomore　in　a　pink　dress　eyeing　him　with　timid　
speculation；　but　he　didn't　seem　to　be　aware　of　her。　

Jacob　looked　away　again；　ashamed。　〃Don't　get　mad；　okay？〃　

〃There's　no　way　I'll　be　mad　at　you；　Jacob；〃　I　assured　him。　〃I　won't　even　
be　mad　at　Billy。　Just　say　what　you　have　to。〃　

〃Well　—　this　is　so　stupid；　I'm　sorry；　Bella　—　he　wants　you　to　break　up　
with　your　boyfriend。　He　asked　me　to　tell　you　'please。'〃　He　shook　his　head　
in　disgust。　

〃He's　still　superstitious；　eh？〃　

〃Yeah。　He　was…　kind　of　over　the　top　when　you　got　hurt　down　in　Phoenix。　He　
didn't　believe…〃Jacob　trailed　off　selfconsciously。　

My　eyes　narrowed。　〃I　fell。〃　

〃I　know　that；〃　Jacob　said　quickly。　

〃He　thinks　Edward　had　something　to　do　with　me　getting　hurt。〃　It　wasn't　a　
question；　and　despite　my　promise；　I　was　angry。　

Jacob　wouldn't　meet　my　eyes。　We　weren't　even　bothering　to　sway　to　the　
music；　though　his　hands　were　still　on　my　waist；　and　mine　around　his　neck。　

〃Look；　Jacob；　I　know　Billy　probably　won't　believe　this；　but　just　so　you　
know〃　—　he　looked　at　me　now；　responding　to　the　new　earnestness　in　my　
voice　—　〃Edward　really　did　save　my　life。　If　it　weren't　for　Edward　and　his　
father；　I'd　be　dead。〃　

〃I　know；〃　he　claimed；　but　he　sounded　like　my　sincere　words　had　affected　
him　some。　Maybe　he'd　be　able　to　convince　Billy　of　this　much；　at　least。　

〃Hey；　I'm　sorry　you　had　to　e　do　this；　Jacob；〃　I　apologized。　〃At　any　
rate；　you　get　your　parts；　right？〃　

〃Yeah；〃　he　muttered。　He　was　still　looking　awkward…　upset。　

〃There's　more？〃　I　asked　in　disbelief。　

〃Forget　it；〃　he　mumbled；　〃I'll　get　a　job　and　save　the　money　myself。〃　

I　glared　at　him　until　he　met　my　gaze。　〃Just　spit　it　out；　Jacob。〃　

〃It's　so　bad。〃　

〃I　don't　care。　Tell　me；〃　I　insisted。　

〃Okay…　but；　geez；　this　sounds　bad。〃　He　shook　his　head。　〃He　said　to　tell　
you；　no；　to　warn　you；　that　—　and　this　is　his　plural；　not　mine〃　—　he　
lifted　one　hand　from　my　waist　and　made　little　quotations　marks　in　the　air　
—　'〃We'll　be　watching。'〃　He　watched　warily　for　my　reaction。　

It　sounded　like　something　from　a　mafia　movie。　I　laughed　out　loud。　

〃Sorry　you　had　to　do　this；　Jake；〃　I　snickered。　

〃I　don't　mind　that　much。〃　He　grinned　in　relief。　His　eyes　were　appraising　
as　they　raked　quickly　over　my　dress。　〃So；　should　I　tell　him　you　said　to　
butt　the　hell　out？〃　he　asked　hopefully。　

〃No；〃　I　sighed。　〃Tell　him　I　said　thanks。　I　know　he　means　well。〃　

The　song　ended；　and　I　dropped　my　arms。　

His　hands　hesitated　at　my　waist；　and　he　glanced　at　my　bum　leg。　〃Do　you　
want　to　dance　again？　Or　can　I　help　you　get　somewhere？〃　

Edward　answered　for　me。　〃That's　all　right；　Jacob。　I'll　take　it　from　here。〃　

Jacob　flinched；　and　stared　wideeyed　at　Edward；　who　stood　just　beside　us。　

〃Hey；　I　didn't　see　you　there；〃　he　mumbled。　〃I　guess　I'll　see　you　around；　
Bella。〃　He　stepped　back；　waving　halfheartedly。　

I　smiled。　〃Yeah；　I'll　see　you　later。〃　

〃Sorry；〃　he　said　again　before　he　turned　for　the　door。　

Edward's　arms　wound　around　me　as　the　next　song　started。　It　was　a　little　
uptempo　for　slow　dancing；　but　that　didn't　seem　to　concern　him。　I　leaned　
my　head　against　his　chest；　content。　

〃Feeling　better？〃　I　teased。　

〃Not　really；〃　he　said　tersely。　

〃Don't　be　mad　at　Billy；〃　I　sighed。　〃He　just　worries　about　me　for　
Charlie's　sake。　It's　nothing　personal。〃　

〃I'm　not　mad　at　Billy；〃　he　corrected　in　a　clipped　voice。　〃But　his　son　is　
irritating　me。〃　

I　pulled　back　to　look　at　him。　His　face　was　very　serious。　

〃Why？〃　

〃First　of　all；　he　made　me　break　my　promise。〃　

I　stared　at　him　in　confusion。　

He　halfsmiled。　〃I　promised　I　wouldn't　let　go　of　you　tonight；〃　he　
explained。　

〃Oh。　Well；　I　forgive　you。〃　

〃Thanks。　But　there's　something　else。〃　Edward　frowned。　

I　waited　patiently。　

〃He　called　you　pretty；〃　he　finally　continued；　his　frown　deepening。　
〃That's　practically　an　insult；　the　way　you　look　right　now。　You're　much　
more　than　beautiful。〃　

I　laughed。　〃You　might　be　a　little　biased。〃　

〃I　don't　think　that's　it。　Besides；　I　have　excellent　eyesight。〃　

We　were　twirling　again；　my　feet　on　his　as　he　held　me　close。　

〃So　are　you　going　to　explain　the　reason　for　all　of　this？〃　I　wondered。　

He　looked　down　at　me；　confused；　and　I　glared　meaningfully　at　the　crepe　
paper。　

He　considered　for　a　moment；　and　then　changed　direction；　spinning　me　
through　the　crowd　to　the　back　door　of　the　gym。　I　caught　a　glimpse　of　
Jessica　and　Mike　dancing；　staring　at　me　curiously。　Jessica　waved；　and　I　
smiled　back　quickly。　Angela　was　there；　too；　looking　blissfully　happy　in　
the　arms　of　little　Ben　Cheney；　she　didn't　look　up　from　his　eyes；　a　head　
lower　than　hers。　Lee　and　Samantha；　Lauren；　glaring　toward　us；　with　
Conner；　I　could　name　every　face　that　spiraled　past　me。　And　then　we　were　
outdoors；　in　the　cool；　dim　light　of　a　fading　sunset。　

As　soon　as　we　were　alone；　he　swung　me　up　into　his　arms；　and　carried　me　
across　the　dark　grounds　till　he　reached　the　bench　beneath　the　shadow　of　
the　madrone　trees。　He　sat　there；　keeping　me　cradled　against　his　chest。　
The　moon　was　already　up；　visible　through　the　gauzy　clouds；　and　his　face　
glowed　pale　in　the　white　light。　His　mouth　was　hard；　his　eyes　troubled。　

〃The　point？〃　I　prompted　softly。　

He　ignored　me；　staring　up　at　the　moon。　

〃Twilight；　again；〃　he　murmured。　〃Another　ending。　No　matter　how　perfect　
the　day　is；　it　always　has　to　end。〃　

〃Some　things　don't　have　to　end；〃　I　muttered　through　my　teeth；　instantly　
tense。　

He　sighed。　

〃I　brought　you　to　the　prom；〃　he　said　slowly；　finally　answering　my　
question；　〃because　I　don't　want　you　to　miss　anything。　I　don't　want　my　
presence　to　take　anything　away　from　you；　if　I　can　help　it。　I　want　you　to　
be　human。　I　want　your　life　to　continue　as　it　would　have　if　I'd　died　in　
nieeneighteen　like　I　should　have。〃　

I　shuddered　at　his　words；　and　then　shook　my　head　angrily。　〃In　what　
strange　parallel　dimension　would　I　ever　have　gone　to　prom　of　my　own　free　
will？　If　you　weren't　a　thousand　times　stronger　than　me；　I　would　never　
have　let　you　get　away　with　this。〃　

He　smiled　briefly；　but　it　didn't　touch　his　eyes。　〃It　wasn't　so　bad；　you　
said　so　yourself。〃　

〃That's　because　I　was　with　you。〃　

We　were　quiet　for　a　minute；　he　stared　at　the　moon　and　I　stared　at　him。　I　
wished　there　was　some　way　to　explain　how　very　uninterested　I　was　in　a　
normal　human　life。　

〃Will　you　tell　me　something？〃　he　asked；　glancing　down　at　me　with　a　slight　
smile。　

〃Don't　I　always？〃　

〃Just　promise　you'll　tell　me；〃　he　insisted；　grinning。　

I　knew　I　was　going　to　regret　this　almost　instantly。　〃Fine。〃　

〃You　seemed　honestly　surprised　when　you　figured　out　that　I　was　taking　you　
here；〃　he　began。　

〃I　was；〃　I　interjected。　

〃Exactly；〃　he　agreed。　〃But　you　must　have　had　some　other　theory…　I'm　
curious　—　what　did　you　think　I　was　dressing　you　up　for？〃　

Yes；　instant　regret。　I　pursed　my　lips；　hesitating。　〃I　don't　want　to　tell　
you。〃　

〃You　promised；〃　he　objected。　

〃I　know。〃　

〃What's　the　problem？〃　

I　knew　he　thought　it　was　mere　embarrassment　holding　me　back。　〃I　think　it　
will　make　you　mad　—　or　sad。〃　

His　brows　pulled　together　over　his　eyes　as　he　thought　that　through。　〃I　
still　want　to　know。　Please？〃　

I　sighed。　He　waited。　

〃Well…　I　assumed　it　was　some　kind　of…　occasion。　But　I　didn't　think　it　
would　be　some　trite　human　thing…　prom！〃　I　scoffed。　

〃Human？〃　he　asked　flatly。　He'd　picked　up　on　the　key　word。　

I　looked　down　at　my　dress；　fidgeting　with　a　stray　piece　of　chiffon。　He　
waited　in　silence。　

〃Okay；〃　I　confessed　in　a　rush。　〃So　I　was　hoping　that　you　might　have　
changed　your　mind…　that　you　were　going　to　change　me；　after　all。〃　

A　dozen　emotions　played　across　his　face。　Some　I　recognized：　anger…　pain…　
and　then　he　seemed　to　collect　himself　and　his　expression　became　amused。　

〃You　thought　that　would　be　a　black　tie　occasion；　did　you？〃　he　teased；　
touching　the　lapel　of　his　tuxedo　jacket。　

I　scowled　to　hide　my　embarrassment。　〃I　don't　know　how　these　things　work。　
To　me；　at　least；　it　seems　more　rational　than　prom　does。〃　He　was　still　
grinning。　〃It's　not　funny；〃　I　said。　

〃No；　you're　right；　it's　not；〃　he　agreed；　his　smile　fading。　〃I'd　rather　
treat　it　like　a　joke；　though；　than　believe　you're　serious。〃　

〃But　I　am　serious。〃　

He　sighed　deeply。　〃I　know。　And　you're　really　that　willing？〃　

The　pain　was　back　in　his　eyes。　I　bit　my　lip　and　nodded。　

〃So　ready　for　this　to　be　the　end；〃　he　murmured；　almost　to　himself；　〃for　
this　to　be　the　twilight　of　your　life；　though　your　life　has　barely　
started。　You're　ready　to　give　up　everything。〃　

〃It's　not　the　end；　it's　the　beginning；〃　I　disagreed　under　my　breath。　

〃I'm　not　worth　it；〃　he　said　sadly。　

〃Do　you　remember　when　you　told　me　that　I　didn't　see　myself　very　clearly？〃　
I　asked；　raising　my　eyebrows。　〃You　obviously　have　the　same　blindness。〃　

〃I　know　what　I　am。〃　

I　sighed。　

But　his　mercurial　mood　shifted　on　me。　He　pursed　his　lips；　and　his　eyes　
were　probing。　He　examined　my　face　for　a　long　moment。　

〃You're　ready　now；　then？〃　he　asked。　

〃Um。〃　I　gulped。　〃Yes？〃　

He　smiled；　and　inclined　his　head　slowly　until　his　cold　lips　brushed　
against　the　skin　just　under　the　corner　of　my　jaw。　

〃Right　now？〃　he　whispered；　his　breath　blowing　cool　on　my　neck。　I　shivered　
involuntarily。　

〃Yes；〃　I　whispered；　so　my　voice　wouldn't　have　a　chance　to　break。　If　he　
thought　I　was　bluffing；　he　was　going　to　be　disappointed。　I'd　already　made　
this　decision；　and　I　was　sure。　It　didn't　matter　that　my　body　was　rigid　as　
a　plank；　my　hands　balled　into　fists；　my　breathing　erratic…　

He　chuckled　darkly；　and　leaned　away。　His　face　did　look　disappointed。　

〃You　can't　really　believe　that　I　would　give　in　so　easily；〃　he　said　with　a　
sour　edge　to　his　mocking　tone。　

〃A　girl　can　dream。〃　

His　eyebrows　rose。　〃Is　that　what　you　dream　about？　Being　a　monster？〃　

〃Not　exactly；〃　I　said；　frowning　at　his　word　choice。　Monster；　indeed。　
〃Mostly　I　dream　about　being　with　you　forever。〃　

His　expression　changed；　softened　and　saddened　by　the　subtle　ache　in　my　
voice。　

〃Bella。〃　His　fingers　lightly　traced　the　shape　of　my　lips。　〃I　will　stay　
with　you　—　isn't　that　enough？〃　

I　smiled　under　his　fingertips。　〃Enough　for　now。〃　

He　frowned　at　my　tenacity。　No　one　was　going　to　surrender　tonight。　He　
exhaled；　and　the　sound　was　practically　a　growl。　

I　touched　his　face。　〃Look；〃　I　said。　〃I　love　you　more　than　everything　else　
in　the　world　bined。　Isn't　that　enough？〃　

〃Yes；　it　is　enough；〃　he　answered；　smiling。　〃Enough　for　forever。〃　

And　he　leaned　down　to　press　his　cold　lips　once　more　to　my　throat。　

===========================================================================　


Acknowledgments　




A　huge　thank　you　to：　

my　parents；　Steve　and　Candy；　

for　a　lifetime　of　love　and　support；S　

for　reading　great　books　to　me　when　I　was　young；　

and　for　still　holding　my　hand　through　the　

things　that　make　me　nervous；　

my　husband；　Pancho；　and　my　sons；　Gabe；　Seth；　and　Eli；　

for　sharing　me　so　often　with　my　imaginary　friends；　

my　friends　at　Writers　House；　

Genevieve　GagneHawes；　for　giving　me　that　first　chance；　

and　my　agent　Jodi　Reamer；　for　turning　the　most　

unlikely　dreams　into　realities；　

my　editor　Megan　Tingley；　for　all　her　help　in　

making　Twilight　better　than　it　started　out；　

my　brothers；　Paul　and　Jacob；　for　their　expert　advice　on　all　

my　automotive　questions；　and　my　online　family；　

the　talented　staff　and　writers　at　fansofrealitytv。；　

particularly　Kimberly　〃Shazzer；〃　and　Collin　〃Mantenna〃　

for　the　encouragement；　advice；　

and　inspiration。