4 breaking dawn破晓-第17部分

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I'd　seen　him　angry；　and　I'd　seen　him　arrogant；　and　onceI'd　seen　him　in　pain。　But　this—this　was　beyond　
agony。　His　eyes　were　halfcrazed。　He　didn't　look　up　to　glare　at　me。　He　stared　down　at　the　couch　beside　
him　with　an　expression　like　someone　had　lit　him　on　fire。　His　hands　were　rigid　claws　at　his　side。　

I　couldn't　even　enjoy　his　anguish。　I　could　only　think　of　one　thing　that　would　make　him　look　like　that；　and　
my　eyes　followed　his。　

I　saw　her　at　the　same　moment　that　I　caught　her　scent。　

Her　warm；　clean；　human　scent。　

Bella　was　halfhidden　behind　the　arm　of　the　sofa；　curled　up　in　a　loose　fetal　position；　her　arms　wrapped　
around　her　knees。　For　a　long　second　I　could　see　nothing　except　that　she　was　still　the　Bella　that　I　loved；　
her　skin　still　a　soft；　pale　peach；　her　eyes　still　the　same　chocolate　brown。　My　heart　thudded　a　strange；　
broken　meter；　and　I　wondered　if　this　was　just　some　lying　dream　that　I　was　about　to　wake　up　from。　

Then　I　really　saw　her。　

There　were　deep　circles　under　her　eyes；　dark　circles　that　jumped　out　because　her　face　was　all　haggard。　
Was　she　thinner？　Her　skin　seemed　tight—like　her　cheekbones　might　break　right　through　it。　Most　of　her　
dark　hair　was　pulled　away　from　her　face　into　a　messy　knot；　but　a　few　strands　stuck　limply　to　her　
forehead　and　neck；　to　the　sheen　of　sweat　that　covered　her　skin。　There　was　something　about　her　fingers　
and　wrists　that　looked　so　fragile　it　was　scary。　



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She　was　sick。　Very　sick。　

Not　a　lie。　The　story　Charlie'd　told　Billy　was　not　a　story。　While　I　stared；　eyes　bugging；　her　skin　turned　
light　green。　

The　blond　bloodsucker—the　showy　one；　Rosalie—bent　over　her；　cutting　into　my　view；　hovering　in　a　
strange；　protective　way。　

This　was　wrong。　I　knew　how　Bella　felt　about　almost　everything—her　thoughts　were　so　obvious；　
sometimes　it　was　like　they　were　printed　on　her　forehead。　So　she　didn't　have　to　tell　me　every　detail　of　a　
situation　for　me　to　get　it。　I　knew　that　Bella　didn't　like　Rosalie。　I'd　seen　it　in　the　set　of　her　lips　when　she　
talked　about　her。　Not　just　that　she　didn't　like　her。　She　was　afraid　of　Rosalie。　Or　she　had　been。　

There　was　no　fear　as　Bella　glanced　up　at　her　now。　Her　expression　was。。。　apologetic　or　something。　Then　
Rosalie　snatched　a　basin　from　the　floor　and　held　it　under　Bella's　chin　just　in　time　for　Bella　to　throw　up　
noisily　into　it。　

Edward　fell　to　his　knees　by　Bella's　side—his　eyes　all　torturedlooking—and　Rosalie　held　out　her　hand；　
warning　him　to　keep　back。　

None　of　it　made　sense。　

When　she　could　raise　her　head；　Bella　smiled　weakly　at　me；　sort　of　embarrassed。　〃Sorry　about　that；〃　she　
whispered　to　me。　

Edward　moaned　real　quiet。　His　head　slumped　against　Bella's　knees。　She　put　one　of　her　hands　against　his　
cheek。　Like　she　was　forting　him。　

I　didn't　realize　my　legs　had　carried　me　forward　until　Rosalie　hissed　at　me；　suddenly　appearing　between　
me　and　the　couch。　She　was　like　a　person　on　a　TV　screen。　I　didn't　care　she　was　there。　She　didn't　seem　
real。　

〃Rose；　don't；〃　Bella　whispered。　〃It's　fine。〃　

Blondie　moved　out　of　my　way；　though　I　could　tell　she　hated　to　do　it。　Scowling　at　me；　she　crouched　by　
Bella's　head；　tensed　to　spring。　She　was　easier　to　ignore　than　I　ever　would　have　dreamed。　

〃Bella；　what's　wrong？〃　I　whispered。　Without　thinking　about　it；　I　found　myself　on　my　knees；　too；　leaning　
over　the　back　of　the　couch　across　from　her。。。　husband。　He　didn't　seem　to　notice　me；　and　I　barely　glanced　
at　him。　I　reached　out　for　her　free　hand；　taking　it　in　both　of　mine。　Her　skin　was　icy。　〃Are　you　all　right？〃　

It　was　a　stupid　question。　She　didn't　answer　it。　

〃I'm　so　glad　you　came　to　see　me　today；　Jacob；〃　she　said。　

Even　though　I　knew　Edward　couldn't　hear　her　thoughts；　he　seemed　to　hear　some　meaning　I　didn't。　He　
moaned　again；　into　the　blanket　that　covered　her；　and　she　stroked　his　cheek。　

〃What　is　it；　Bella？〃　I　insisted；　wrapping　my　hands　tight　around　her　cold；　fragile　fingers。　




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Instead　of　answering；　she　glanced　around　the　room　like　she　was　searching　for　something；　both　a　plea　
and　a　warning　in　her　look。　Six　pairs　of　anxious　yellow　eyes　stared　back　at　her。　Finally；　she　turned　to　
Rosalie。　

〃Help　me　up；　Rose？〃　she　asked。　

Rosalie's　lips　pulled　back　over　her　teeth；　and　she　glared　up　at　me　like　she　wanted　to　rip　my　throat　out。　I　
was　sure　that　was　exactly　the　case。　

〃Please；　Rose。〃　

The　blonde　made　a　face；　but　leaned　over　her　again；　next　to　Edward；　who　didn't　move　an　inch。　She　put　
her　arm　carefully　behind　Bella's　shoulders。　

〃No；〃　I　whispered。　〃Don't　get　up___〃　She　looked　so　weak。　

〃I'm　answering　your　question；〃　she　snapped；　sounding　a　little　bit　more　like　the　way　she　usually　talked　to　
me。　

Rosalie　pulled　Bella　off　the　couch。　Edward　stayed　where　he　was；　sagging　forward　till　his　face　was　buried　
in　the　cushions。　The　blanket　fell　to　the　ground　at　Bella's　feet。　

Bella：s　body　was　swollen；　her　torso　ballooning　out　in　a　strange；　sick　way。　It　strained　against　the　faded　
gray　sweatshirt　that　was　way　too　big　for　her　shoulders　and　arms。　The　rest　of　her　seemed　thinner；　like　the　
big　bulge　had　grown　out　of　what　it　had　sucked　from　her。　It　took　me　a　second　to　realize　what　the　
deformed　part　was—I　didn't　understand　until　she　folded　her　hands　tenderly　around　her　bloated　stomach；　
one　above　and　one　below。　Like　she　was　cradling　it。　

I　saw　it　then；　but　I　still　couldn't　believe　it。　I'd　seen　her　just　a　month　ago。　There　was　no　way　she　could　be　
pregnant。　Not　that　pregnant。　

Except　that　she　was。　

I　didn't　want　to　see　this；　didn't　want　to　think　about　this。　I　didn't　want　to　imagine　him　inside　her。　I　didn't　
want　to　know　that　something　I　hated　so　much　had　taken　root　in　the　body　I　loved。　My　stomach　heaved；　
and　I　had　to　swallow　back　vomit。　

But　it　was　worse　than　that；　so　much　worse。　Her　distorted　body；　the　bones　jabbing　against　the　skin　of　her　
face。　I　could　only　guess　that　she　looked　like　this—so　pregnant；　so　sick—because　whatever　was　inside　
her　was　taking　her　life　to　feed　its　own。。。。　

Because　it　was　a　monster。　Just　like　its　father。　

I　always　knew　he　would　kill　her。　

His　head　snapped　up　as　he　heard　the　words　inside　mine。　One　second　we　were　both　on　our　knees；　and　
then　he　was　on　his　feet；　towering　over　me。　His　eyes　were　flat　black；　the　circles　under　them　dark　purple。　

〃Outside；　Jacob；〃　he　snarled。　

I　was　on　my　feet；　too。　Looking　down　on　him　now。　This　was　why　I　was　here。　



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〃Let's　do　this；〃　I　agreed。　

The　big　one；　Emmett；　pushed　forward　on　Edward's　other　side；　with　the　hungrylooking　one；　Jasper；　right　
behind　him。　I　really　didn't　care。　Maybe　my　pack　would　clean　up　the　scraps　when　they　finished　me　off。　
Maybe　not。　It　didn't　matter。　

For　the　tiniest　part　of　a　second　my　eyes　touched　on　the　two　standing　in　the　back。　Esme。　Alice。　Small　and　
distractingly　feminine。　Well；　I　was　sure　the　others　would　kill　me　before　I　had　to　do　anything　about　them。　I　
didn't　want　to　kill　girls。。。　even　vampire　girls。　

Though　I　might　make　an　exception　for　that　blonde。　

〃No；〃　Bella　gasped；　and　she　stumbled　forward；　out　of　balance；　to　clutch　at　Edward's　arm。　Rosalie　
moved　with　her；　like　there　was　a　chain　locking　them　to　each　other。　

〃I　just　need　to　talk　to　him；　Bella；〃　Edward　said　in　a　low　voice；　talking　only　to　her。　He　reached　up　to　
touch　her　face；　to　stroke　it。　This　made　the　room　turn　red；　made　me　see　fire—that；　after　all　he'd　done　to　
her；　he　was　still　allowed　to　touch　her　that　way。　〃Don't　strain　yourself；〃　he　went　on；　pleading。　〃Please　rest。　
We'll　both　be　back　in　just　a　few　minutes。〃　

She　stared　at　his　face；　reading　it　carefully。　Then　she　nodded　and　drooped　toward　the　couch。　Rosalie　
helped　lower　her　back　onto　the　cushions。　Bella　stared　at　me；　trying　to　hold　my　eyes。　

〃Behave；〃　she　insisted。　〃And　then　e　back。〃　

I　didn't　answer。　I　wasn't　making　any　promises　today。　I　looked　away　and　then　followed　Edward　out　the　
front　door。　

A　random；　disjointed　voice　in　my　head　noted　that　separating　him　from　the　coven　hadn't　been　so　difficult；　
had　it？　

He　kept　walking；　never　checking　to　see　if　I　was　about　to　spring　at　his　unprotected　back。　I　supposed　he　
didn't　need　to　check。　He　would　know　when　I　decided　to　attack。　Which　meant　I'd　have　to　make　that　
decision　very　quickly。　

Tm　not　ready　for　you　to　kill　me　yet；　Jacob　Black；〃　he　whispered　as　he　paced　quickly　away　from　the　
house。　〃You'll　have　to　have　a　little　patience。〃　

Like　I　cared　about　his　schedule。　I　growled　under　my　breath。　〃Patience　isn't　my　specialty。〃　

He　kept　walking；　maybe　a　couple　hundred　yards　down　the　drive　away　from　the　house；　with　me　right　on　
his　heels。　I　was　all　hot；　my　fingers　trembling。　On　the　edge；　ready　and　waiting。　

He　stopped　without　warning　and　pivoted　to　face　me。　His　expression　froze　me　again。　

For　a　second　I　was　just　a　kid—a　kid　who　had　lived　all　of　his　life　in　the　same　tiny　town。　Just　a　child。　
Because　I　knew　I　would　have　to　live　a　lot　more；　suffer　a　lot　more；　to　ever　understand　the　searing　agony　
in　Edward's　eyes。　

He　raised　a　hand　as　if　to　wipe　sweat　from　his　forehead；　but　his　fingers　scraped　against　his　face　like　they　



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were　going　to　rip　his　granite　skin　right　off。　His　black　eyes　burned　in　their　sockets；　out　of　focus；　or　seeing　
things　that　weren't　there。　His　mouth　opened　like　he　was　going　to　scream；　but　nothing　came　out。　

This　was　the　face　a　man　would　have　if　he　were　burning　at　the　stake。　

For　a　moment　I　couldn't　speak。　It　was　too　real；　this　face—I'd　seen　a　shadow　of　it　in　the　house；　seen　it　in　
her　eyes　and　his；　but　this　made　it　final。　The　last　nail　in　her　coffin。　

〃It's　killing　her；　right？　She's　dying。〃　And　I　knew　when　I　said　it　that　my　face　was　a　watereddown　echo　of　
his。　Weaker；　different；　because　I　was　still　in　shock。　I　hadn't　wrapped　my　head　around　it　yet—it　was　
happening　too　fast。　He'd　had　time　to　get　to　this　point。　And　it　was　different　because　I'd　already　lost　her　so　
many　times；　so　many　ways；　in　my　head。　And　different　because　she　was　never　really　mine　to　lose。　

And　different　because　this　wasn't　my　fault。　

〃My　fault；〃　Edward　whispered；　and　his　knees　gave　out。　He　crumpled　in　front　of　me；　vulnerable；　the　
easiest　target　you　could　imagine。　

But　I　felt　cold　as　snow—there　was　no　fire　in　me。　

〃Yes；〃　he　groaned　into　the　dirt；　like　he　was　confessing　to　the　ground。　〃Yes；　it's　killing　her。〃　

His　broken　helplessness　irritated　me。　I　wanted　a　fight；　not　an　execution。　Where　was　his　smug　superiority　
now？　

〃So　why　hasn't　Carlisle　done　anything？〃　I　growled。　〃He's　a　doctor；　right？　Get　it　out　of　her。〃　

He　looked　up　then　and　answered　me　in　a　tired　voice。　Like　he　was　explaining　this　to　a　kindergartener　for　
the　tenth　time。　〃She　won't　let　us。〃　

It　took　a　minute　for　the　words　to　sink　in。　Jeez；　she　was　running　true　to　form。　Of　course；　die　for　the　
monster　spawn。　It　was　so　Bella。　

〃You　know　her　well；〃　he　whispered。　〃How　quickly　you　see。。。。　I　didn't　see。　Not　in　time。　She　wouldn't　talk　
to　me　on　the　way　home；　not　really。　I　thought　she　was　frightened—that　would　be　natural。　I　thought　she　
was　angry　with　me　for　putting　her　through　this；　for　endangering　her　life。　Again。　I　never　imagined　what　she　
was　really　thinking；　what　she　was　resolving。　Not　until　my　family　met　us　at　the　airport　and　she　ran　right　
into　Rosalie's　arms。　Rosalie's！　And　then　I　heard　what　Rosalie　was　thinking。　I　didn't　understand　until　I　
heard　that。　Yet　you　understand　after　one　second。　。　。　。〃　He　halfsighed；　halfgroaned。　

〃Just　back　up　a　second。　She　won't　let　you。〃　The　sarcasm　was　acid　on　my　tongue。　〃Did　you　ever　notice　
that　she's　exactly　as　strong　as　a　normal　hundredandtenpound　human　girl？　How　stupid　are　you　vamps？　
Hold　her　down　and　knock　her　out　with　drugs。〃　

〃I　wanted　to；〃　he　whispered。　〃Carlisle　would　have___〃　

What；　too　noble　were　they？　

〃No。　Not　noble。　Her　bodyguard　plicated　things。〃　

Oh。　His　story　hadn't　made　much　sense　before；　but　it　fit　together　now。　So　that's　what　Blondie　was　up　to。　



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What　was　in　it　for　her；　though？　Did　the　beauty　queen　want　Bella　to　die　so　bad？　

〃Maybe；〃　he　said。　〃Rosalie　doesn't　look　at　it　quite　that　way。〃　

〃So　take　the　blonde　out　first。　Your　kind　can　be　put　back　together；　right？　Turn　her　into　a　jigsaw　and　take　
care　of　Bella。〃　

〃Emmett　and　Esme　are　backing　her　up。　Emmett　would　never　let　us。。。　and　Carlisle　won't　help　me　with　
Esme　

against　it___〃　He　trailed　off；　his　voice　disappearing。　

〃You　should　have　left　Bella　with　me。〃　

〃Yes。〃　

It　was　a　bit　late　for　that；　though。　Maybe　he　should　have　thought　about　all　this　before　he　knocked　her　up　
with　the　lifesucking　monster。　

He　stared　up　at　me　from　inside　his　own　personal　hell；　and　I　could　see　that　he　agreed　with　me。　

〃We　didn't　know；〃　he　said；　the　words　as　quiet　as　a　breath。　〃I　never　dreamed。　There's　never　been　
anything　like　Bella　and　I　before。　How　could　we　know　that　a　human　was　able　conceive　a　child　with　one　of　
us—〃　

〃When　the　human　should　get　ripped　to　shreds　in　the　process？〃　

〃Yes；〃　he　agreed　in　a　tense　whisper。　〃They're　out　there；　the　sadistic　ones；　the　incubus；　the　succubus。　
They　exist。　But　the　seduction　is　merely　a　prelude　to　the　feast。　No　one　survives〃　He　shook　his　head　like　
the　idea　revolted　him。　Like　he　was　any　different。　

〃I　didn't　realize　they　had　a　special　name　for　what　you　are；〃　I　spit。　

He　stared　up　at　me　with　a　face　that　looked　a　thousand　years　old。　

〃Even　you；　Jacob　Black；　cannot　hate　me　as　much　as　I　hate　myself。'7　

Wrong；I　thought；　too　enraged　to　speak。　

〃Killing　me　now　doesn't　save　her；〃　he　said　quietly。　

〃So　what　does？〃　

〃Jacob；　you　have　to　do　something　for　me。〃　

〃The　hell　I　do；　parasite！〃　

He　kept　staring　at　me　with　those　halftired；　halfcrazy　eyes。　〃For　her？〃　

I　clenched　my　teeth　together　hard。　〃I　did　everything　I　could　to　keep　her　away　from　you。　Every　single　
thing。　It's　too　late。〃　



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〃You　know　her；　Jacob。　You　connect　to　her　on　a　level　that　I　don't　even　understand。　You　are　part　of　her；　
and　she　is　part　of　you。　She　won't　listen　to　me；　because　she　thinks　I'm　underestimating　her。　She　thinks　
she's　strong　enough　for　this___〃　He　choked　and　then　swallowed。　〃She　might　listen　to　you。〃　

〃Why　would　she？〃　

He　lurched　to　his　feet；　his　eyes　burning　brighter　than　before；　wilder。　I　wondered　if　he　was　really　going　
crazy。　Could　vampires　lose　their　minds？　

〃Maybe；〃　he　answered　my　thought。　〃I　don't　know。　It　feels　like　it。〃　He　shook　his　head。　〃I　have　to　try　to　
hide　this　in　front　of　her；　because　stress　makes　her　more　ill。　She　can't　keep　anything　down　as　it　is。　I　have　
to　be　posed；　I　can't　make　it　harder。　But　that　doesn't　matter　now。　She　has　to　listen　to　you！〃　

〃I　can't　tell　her　anything　you　haven't。　What　do　you　want　me　to　do？　Tell　her　she's　stupid？　She　probably　
already　knows　that。　Tell　her　she's　going　to　die？　I　bet　she　knows　that；　t