4 breaking dawn破晓-第31部分

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run　our　watch。　If　she'd　been　within　biting　distance。。。　

Hold　up！　Let　me　explain！　

Don't　want　to　hear　it　I'm　outta　here。　

Wait！　Wait！she　pleaded　as　I　tried　to　calm　myself　enough　to　phase　back。　C'mon；　Jake！　

Leah；　this　isn't　really　the　best　way　to　convince　me　that　I　want　to　spend　more　time　with　you　in　the　future。　

Yeesh！　What　an　overreaction。　You　don't　even　know　what　I'm　talking　about　

So　whatare　you　talking　about？　




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And　then　she　was　suddenly　the　painhardened　Leah　from　before。　I'm　talking　about　being　a　geic　
dead　end；　Jacob。　

The　vicious　edge　to　her　words　left　me　floundering。　I　hadn't　expected　to　have　my　anger　trumped。　

I　don't　understand。　

Youwould；　if　you　weren't　just　like　the　rest　of　them。　If　my　〃female　sfuT—she　thought　the　words　with　
a　hard；　sarcastic　tone—　didn't　send　you　running　for　cover　just　like　any　stupid　male；　so　you　could　
actually　pay　attention　to　what　it　all　means。　

Oh。　

Yeah；　so　none　of　us　like　to　think　about　that　stuff　with　her。　Who　would？　Of　course　I　remembered　Leah's　
panic　that　first　month　after　she　joined　the　pack—and　I　remembered　cringing　away　from　it　just　like　
everyone　else。　Because　she　couldn't　be　pregnant—　not　unless　there　was　some　really　freaky　religious　
immaculate　crap　going　on。　She　hadn't　been　with　anyone　since　Sam。　And　then；　when　the　weeks　dragged　
on　and　nothing　turned　into　more　nothing；　she'd　realized　that　her　body　wasn't　following　the　normal　patterns　
anymore。　The　horror—what　was　she　now？　Had　her　body　changed　because　she'd　bee　a　werewolf？　
Or　had　she　bee　a　werewolf　because　her　body　was　wrong？　The　only　female　werewolf　in　the　history　
of　forever。　Was　that　because　she　wasn't　as　female　as　she　should　be？　

None　of　us　had　wanted　to　deal　with　that　breakdown。　Obviously；　it　wasn't　like　we　could　empathize。　

You　know　why　Sam　thinks　we　imprint；she　thought；　calmer　now。　

Sure。　To　carry　on　the　line。　

Right。　To　make　a　bunch　of　new　little　werewolves。　Survival　of　the　species；　geic　override。　You're　
drawn　to　the　person　who　gives　you　the　best　chance　to　pass　on　the　wolf　gene。　

I　waited　for　her　to　tell　me　where　she　was　qoinq　with　this。　

If　I　was　any　good　for　that；　Sam　would　have　been　drawn　tome。　

Her　pain　was　enough　that　I　broke　stride　under　it。　

But　I'm　not　There's　something　wrong　with　me。　I　don't　have　the　ability　to　pass　on　the　gene；　apparently；　
despite　my　stellar　bloodlines。　So　I　bee　a　freak—　the　girliewolf—good　for　nothing　else。　I'm　a　
geic　dead　end　and　we　both　know　it。　

We　do　not；I　argued　with　her。　That's　just　Sam's　theory。　Imprinting　happens；　but　we　don't　know　why。　
Billy　thinks　it's　something　else。　

I　know；　I　know。　He　thinks　you're　imprinting　to　makestronger　wolves。　Because　you　and　Sam　are　such　
humongous　monsters—　bigger　than　our　fathers。　But　either　way；　I'm　still　not　a　candidate。　I'm。。。　I'm　
menopausal。　I'm　twenty　years　old　and　I'm　menopausal。　

Ugh。　I　so　didn't　want　to　have　this　conversation。　You　don't　know　that；　Leah。　It's　probably　just　the　
whole　frozenintime　thing。　When　you　quit　your　wolf　and　start　getting　older　again；　I'm　sure　things　
will。。。　er。。。　pick　right　back　up。　



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might　think　that—　except　that　no　one's　imprinting　onme；　notwithstanding　my　impressive　
pedigree。　You　know；　she　added　thoughtfully；　if　you　weren't　around；　Seth　would　probably　have　the　
best　claim　to　being　Alpha　—　through　his　blood；　at　least。　Of　course；　no　one　would　ever　consider　
me。。。。　

You　reallywant　to　imprint；　or　be　imprinted　on；　or　whichever？　I　demanded。　What's　wrong　with　
going　out　and　falling　in　love　like　a　normal　person；　Leah？　Imprinting　is　just　another　way　of　getting　
your　choices　taken　away　from　you。　

Sam；　Jared；　Paul；　Quit。。。　they　don't　seem　to　mind。　

None　of　themhave　a　mind　of　their　own。　

You　don't　want　to　imprint？　

Hell；　no！　

That's　just　because　you're　already　in　love　withher。　That　would　go　away；　you　know；　if　you　imprinted。　
You　wouldn't　have　to　hurt　over　her　anymore。　

Do　you　want　to　forget　the　way　you　feel　about　Sam？　

She　deliberated　for　a　moment。　　think　I　do。　

I　sighed。　She　was　in　a　healthier　place　than　I　was。　

But　back　to　my　original　point；　Jacob。　I　understand　why　your　blond　vampire　is　so　cold—　in　the　
figurative　sense。　She's　focused。　She's　got　her　eyes　on　the　prize；　right？　Because　you　always　want　
the　very　most　what　you　can　never；　ever　have。　

You　would　act　like　Rosalie？　You　would　murder　someone—　because　that's　what　she's　doing；　
making　sure　no　one　interferes　with　Bella's　death—　you　would　do　that　to　have　a　baby？　Since　when　
are　you　a　breeder？　

I　just　want　the　options　I　don't　have；　Jacob。　Maybe；　if　there　was　nothing　wrong　with　me；　I　would　never　
give　it　a　thought。　

You　would　kill　for　that？I　demanded；　not　letting　her　escape　my　question。　

That's　not　what　she's　doing。　I　think　it's　more　like　she's　living　vicariously。　And。。。　if　Bella　askedme　to　help　
her　with　

this。。。She　paused；　considering。　Even　though　I　don't　think　too　much　of　her；　I'd　probably　do　the　same　
as　the　bloodsucker。　

A　loud　snarl　ripped　through　my　teeth。　

Because；　if　it　was　turned　around；　I'd　want　Bella　to　do　that　for　me。　And　so　would　Rosalie。　We'd　both　do　
it　her　way。　




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Ugh！　You're　as　bad　as　they　are！　

That's　the　funny　thing　about　knowing　you　can't　have　something。　It　makes　you　desperate。　

And。。　。　that's　my　limit　Right　there。　This　conversation　is　over。　

Fine。　

It　wasn't　enough　that　she'd　agreed　to　stop。　I　wanted　a　stronger　termination　than　that。　

I　was　only　about　a　mile　from　where　I'd　left　my　clothes；　so　I　phased　back　to　human　and　walked。　I　didn't　
think　about　our　conversation。　Not　because　there　wasn't　anything　to　think　about；　but　because　I　couldn't　
stand　it。　I　would　not　see　it　that　way—but　it　was　harder　to　keep　from　doing　that　when　Leah　had　put　the　
thoughts　and　emotions　straight　into　my　head。　

Yeah；　I　wasn't　running　with　her　when　this　was　finished。　She　could　go　be　miserable　in　La　Push。　One　little　
Alpha　mand　before　I　left　for　good　wasn't　going　to　kill　anybody。　

It　was　real　early　when　I　got　to　the　house。　Bella　was　probably　still　asleep。　I　figured　I'd　poke　my　head　in；　
see　what　was　going　on；　give　'em　the　green　light　to　go　hunting；　and　then　find　a　patch　of　grass　soft　enough　
to　sleep　on　while　human。　I　wasn't　phasing　back　until　Leah　was　asleep。　

But　there　was　a　lot　of　low　mumbling　going　on　inside　the　house；　so　maybe　Bella　wasn't　sleeping。　And　then　
I　heard　the　machinery　sound　from　upstairs　again—the　Xray？　Great。　It　looked　like　day　four　on　the　
countdown　was　starting　off　with　a　bang。　

Alice　opened　the　door　for　me　before　I　could　walk　in。　

She　nodded。　〃Hey；　wolf。〃　

〃Hey；　shortie。　What's　going　on　upstairs？〃　The　big　room　was　empty—all　the　murmurs　were　on　the　
second　floor。　

She　shrugged　her　pointy　little　shoulders。　〃Maybe　another　break。〃　She　tried　to　say　the　words　casually；　but　
I　could　see　the　flames　in　the　very　back　of　her　eyes。　Edward　and　I　weren't　the　only　ones　who　were　
burning　over　this。　Alice　loved　Bella；　too。　

〃Another　rib？〃　I　asked　hoarsely。　

〃No。　Pelvis　this　time。〃　

Funny　how　it　kept　hitting　me；　like　each　new　thing　was　a　surprise。　When　was　I　going　to　stop　being　
surprised？　Each　new　disaster　seemed　kinda　obvious　in　hindsight。　

Alice　was　staring　at　my　hands；　watching　them　tremble。　

Then　we　were　listening　to　Rosalie's　voice　upstairs。　

〃See；　I　told　you　I　didn't　hear　a　crack。　You　need　your　ears　checked；　Edward。〃　

There　was　no　answer。　



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Alice　made　a　face。　〃Edward's　going　to　end　up　ripping　Rose　into　small　pieces；　I　think。　I'm　surprised　she　
doesn't　see　that。　Or　maybe　she　thinks　Emmett　will　be　able　to　stop　him。〃　

〃I'll　take　Emmett；〃　I　offered。　〃You　can　help　Edward　with　the　ripping　part。〃　

Alice　halfsmiled。　

The　procession　came　down　the　stairs　then—Edward　had　Bella　this　time。　She　was　gripping　her　cup　of　
blood　in　both　hands；　and　her　face　was　white。　I　could　see　that；　though　he　pensated　for　every　tiny　
movement　of　his　body　to　keep　from　jostling　her；　she　was　hurting。　

〃Jake；〃　she　whispered；　and　she　smiled　through　the　pain。　

I　stared　at　her；　saying　nothing。　

Edward　placed　Bella　carefully　on　her　couch　and　sat　on　the　floor　by　her　head。　I　wondered　briefly　why　
they　didn't　leave　her　upstairs；　and　then　decided　at　once　that　it　must　be　Bella's　idea。　She'd　want　to　act　like　
things　were　normal；　avoid　the　hospital　setup。　And　he　was　humoring　her。　Naturally。　

Carlisle　came　down　slowly；　the　last　one；　his　face　creased　with　worry。　It　made　him　look　old　enough　to　be　
a　doctor　for　once。　

〃Carlisle；〃　I　said。　〃We　went　halfway　to　Seattle。　There's　no　sign　of　the　pack。　You're　good　to　go。〃　

〃Thank　you；　Jacob。　This　is　good　timing。　There's　much　that　we　need。〃　His　black　eyes　flickered　to　the　cup　
that　Bella　was　holding　so　tight。　

〃Honestly；　I　think　you're　safe　to　take　more　than　three。　I'm　pretty　positive　that　Sam　is　concentrating　on　La　
Push。〃　

Carlisle　nodded　in　agreement。　It　surprised　me　how　willingly　he　took　my　advice。　〃If　you　think　so。　Alice；　
Esme；　Jasper；　and　I　will　go。　Then　Alice　can　take　Emmett　and　Rosa—〃　

〃Not　a　chance；〃　Rosalie　hissed。　〃Emmett　can　go　with　you　now。〃　

〃You　should　hunt；〃　Carlisle　said　in　a　gentle　voice。　

His　tone　didn't　soften　hers。　〃I'll　hunt　when　he　does；〃　she　growled；　jerking　her　head　toward　Edward　and　
then　flipping　her　hair　back。　

Carlisle　sighed。　

Jasper　and　Emmett　were　down　the　stairs　in　a　flash；　and　Alice　joined　them　by　the　glass　back　door　in　the　
same　second。　Esme　flitted　to　Alice's　side。　

Carlisle　put　his　hand　on　my　arm。　The　icy　touch　did　not　feel　good；　but　I　didn't　jerk　away。　I　held　still；　half　
in　surprise；　and　half　because　I　didn't　want　to　hurt　his　feelings。　

〃Thank　you；〃　he　said　again；　and　then　he　darted　out　the　door　with　the　other　four。　My　eyes　followed　them　
as　they　flew　across　the　lawn　and　then　disappeared　before　I　took　another　breath。　Their　needs　must　have　



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been　more　urgent　than　I'd　imagined。　

There　was　no　sound　for　a　minute。　I　could　feel　someone　glaring　at　me；　and　I　knew　who　it　would　be。　I'd　
been　planning　to　take　off　and　get　some　Z's；　but　the　chance　to　ruin　Rosalie's　morning　seemed　too　good　to　
pass　up。　

So　I　sauntered　over　to　the　armchair　next　to　the　one　Rosalie　had　and　settled　in；　sprawling　out　so　that　my　
head　

was　tilted　toward　Bella　and　my　left　foot　was　near　Rosalie's　face。　

〃Ew。　Someone　put　the　dog　out；〃　she　murmured；　wrinkling　her　nose。　

〃Have　you　heard　this　one；　Psycho？　How　do　a　blonde's　brain　cells　die？〃　

She　didn't　say　anything。　

〃Well？〃　I　asked。　〃Do　you　know　the　punch　line　or　not？〃　

She　looked　pointedly　at　the　TV　and　ignored　me。　

〃Has　she　heard　it？〃　I　asked　Edward。　

There　was　no　humor　on　his　tense　face—he　didn't　move　his　eyes　from　Bella。　But　he　said；　〃No。〃　

〃Awesome。　So　you'll　enjoy　this；　bloodsucker—a　blonde's　brain　cells　die　alone。〃　

Rosalie　still　didn't　look　at　me。　〃I　have　killed　a　hundred　times　more　often　than　you　have；　you　disgusting　
beast。　Don't　forget　that。〃　

〃Someday；　Beauty　Queen；　you're　going　to　get　tired　of　just　threatening　me。　I'm　really　looking　forward　to　
that。〃　

〃Enough；　Jacob；〃　Bella　said。　

I　looked　down；　and　she　was　scowling　at　me。　It　looked　like　yesterday's　good　mood　was　long　gone。　

Well；　I　didn't　want　to　bug　her。　〃You　want　me　to　take　off？〃　I　offered。　

Before　I　could　hope—or　fear—that　she'd　finally　gotten　tired　of　me；　she　blinked；　and　her　frown　
disappeared。　She　seemed　totally　shocked　that　I　would　e　to　that　conclusion。　〃No！　Of　course　not。〃　

I　sighed；　and　I　heard　Edward　sigh　very　quietly；　too。　I　knew　he　wished　she'd　get　over　me；　too。　Too　bad　
he'd　never　ask　her　to　do　anything　that　might　make　her　unhappy。　

〃You　look　tired；〃　Bella　mented。　

〃Dead　beat；〃　I　admitted。　

I'dlike　to　beat　you　dead；〃　Rosalie　muttered；　too　low　for　Bella　to　hear。　




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I　just　slumped　deeper　into　the　chair；　getting　fortable。　My　bare　foot　dangled　closer　to　Rosalie；　and　
she　stiffened。　After　a　few　minutes　Bella　asked　Rosalie　for　a　refill。　I　felt　the　wind　as　Rosalie　blew　upstairs　
to　get　her　some　more　blood。　It　was　really　quiet。　Might　as　well　take　a　nap；　I　figured。　

And　then　Edward　said；　〃Did　you　say　something？〃　in　a　puzzled　tone。　Strange。　Because　no　one　had　said　
anything；　and　because　Edward's　hearing　was　as　good　as　mine；　and　he　should　have　known　that。　

He　was　staring　at　Bella；　and　she　was　staring　back。　They　both　looked　confused。　

〃Me？〃　she　asked　after　a　second。　〃I　didn't　say　anything。〃　

He　moved　onto　his　knees；　leaning　forward　over　her；　his　expression　suddenly　intense　in　a　whole　different　
way。　His　black　eyes　focused　on　her　face。　

〃What　are　you　thinking　about　right　now？〃　

She　stared　at　him　blankly。　〃Nothing。　What's　going　on？〃　

〃What　were　you　thinking　about　a　minute　ago？〃　he　asked。　

〃Just。。。　Esme's　island。　And　feathers。〃　

Sounded　like　total　gibberish　to　me；　but　then　she　blushed；　and　I　figured　I　was　better　off　not　knowing。　

〃Say　something　else；〃　he　whispered。　

Tike　what？　Edward；　what's　going　on？〃　

His　face　changed　again；　and　he　did　something　that　made　my　mouth　fall　open　with　a　pop。　I　heard　a　gasp　
behind　me；　and　I　knew　that　Rosalie　was　back；　and　just　as　flabbergasted　as　I　was。　

Edward；　very　lightly；　put　both　of　his　hands　against　her　huge；　round　stomach。　

'The　f—〃　He　swallowed。　〃It。。。　the　baby　likes　the　sound　of　your　voice。〃　

There　was　one　short　beat　of　total　silence。　I　could　not　move　a　muscle；　even　to　blink。　Then—　

〃Holy　crow；　you　can　hear　him！〃Bella　shouted。　In　the　next　second；　she　winced。　

Edward's　hand　moved　to　the　top　peak　of　her　belly　and　gently　rubbed　the　spot　where　it　must　have　kicked　
her。　

〃Shh；〃　he　murmured。　〃You　startled　it。。。　him。〃　

Her　eyes　got　all　wide　and　full　of　wonder。　She　patted　the　side　of　her　stomach。　〃Sorry；　baby。〃　

Edward　was　listening　hard；　his　head　tilted　toward　the　bulge。　

〃What's　he　thinking　now？〃　she　demanded　eagerly。　

〃It。。。　he　or　she；　is　。。。〃　He　paused　and　looked　up　into　her　eyes。　His　eyes　were　filled　with　a　similar　awe　



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—only　his　were　more　careful　and　grudging。　〃He's　happy〃　Edward　said　in　an　incredulous　voice。　

Her　breath　caught；　and　it　was　impossible　not　to　see　the　fanatical　gleam　in　her　eyes。　The　adoration　and　
the　devotion。　Big；　fat　tears　overflowed　her　eyes　and　ran　silently　down　her　face　and　over　her　smiling　lips。　

As　he　stared　at　her；　his　face　was　not　frightened　or　angry　or　burning　or　any　of　the　other　expressions　he'd　
worn　since　their　return。　He　was　marveling　with　her。　

〃Of　course　you're　happy；　pretty　baby；　of　course　you　are；〃　she　crooned；　rubbing　her　stomach　while　the　
tears　washed　her　cheeks。　〃How　could　you　not　be；　all　safe　and　warm　and　loved？　I　love　you　so　much；　little　
EJ；　of　course　you're　happy。〃　

〃What　did　you　call　him？〃