4 breaking dawn破晓-第48部分

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confused；　but　when　I　told　him　it　was　about　you　and　that　you　were　back　in　town；　he　followed　me　out　to　
the　woods。　I　told　him　you　weren't　sick　anymore；　and　that　things　were　a　little　weird；　but　good。　He　was　
about　to　take　off　to　see　you；　but　I　told　him　I　had　to　show　him　something　first。　And　then　I　phased。〃　Jacob　
shrugged。　

My　teeth　felt　like　a　vise　was　pushing　them　together。　〃I　want　every　word；　you　monster。〃　

〃Well；　you　said　I　only　had　thirty　seconds—okay；　okay。〃　My　expression　must　have　convinced　him　that　I　
wasn't　in　the　mood　for　teasing。　〃Lemme　see。。。　I　phased　back　and　got　dressed；　and　then　after　he　started　
breathing　again；　I　said　something　like；　'Charlie；　you　don't　live　in　the　world　you　thought　you　lived　in。　The　
good　news　is；　nothing　has　changed—except　that　now　you　know。　Life'll　go　on　the　same　way　it　always　
has。　You　can　go　right　back　to　pretending　that　you　don't　believe　any　of　this。'　

〃It　took　him　a　minute　to　get　his　head　together；　and　then　he　wanted　to　know　what　was　really　going　on　
with　you；　with　the　whole　raredisease　thing。　I　told　him　that　you　had　been　sick；　but　you　were　fine　now—it　
was　just　that　you'd　had　to　change　a　little　bit　in　the　process　of　getting　better。　He　wanted　to　know　what　I　
meant　by　'change；'　and　I　told　him　that　you　looked　a　lot　more　like　Esme　now　than　you　looked　like　Renee。〃　

Edward　hissed　while　I　stared　in　horror；　this　was　headed　in　a　dangerous　direction。　

〃After　a　few　minutes；　he　asked；　real　quietly；　if　you　turned　into　an　animal；　too。　And　I　said；　'She　wishes　she　
was　that　cool！'〃　Jacob　chuckled。　

Rosalie　made　a　noise　of　disgust。　

〃I　started　to　tell　him　more　about　werewolves；　but　I　didn't　even　get　the　whole　word　out—Charlie　cut　me　
off　and　said　he'd　'rather　not　know　the　specifics。'　Then　he　asked　if　you'd　known　what　you　were　getting　
yourself　into　when　you　married　Edward；　and　I　said；　'Sure；　she's　known　all　about　this　for　years；　since　she　
first　came　to　Forks。'　He　didn't　like　that　very　much。　I　let　him　rant　till　he　got　it　out　of　his　system。　After　he　
got　calmed　down；　he　just　wanted　two　things。　He　wanted　to　see　you；　and　I　said　it　would　be　better　if　he　
gave　me　a　head　start　to　explain。〃　

I　inhaled　deeply。　〃What　was　the　other　thing　he　wanted？〃　

Jacob　smiled。　〃You'll　like　this。　His　main　request　is　that　he　be　told　as　little　as　possible　about　all　of　this。　If　
it's　not　absolutely　essential　for　him　to　know　something；　then　keep　it　to　yourself。　Need　to　know；　only。〃　

I　felt　relief　for　the　first　time　since　Jacob　had　walked　in。　〃I　can　handle　that　part。〃　

〃Other　than　that；　he'd　just　like　to　pretend　things　are　normal。〃　Jacob's　smile　turned　smug；　he　must　suspect　
that　I　would　be　starting　to　feel　the　first　faint　stirrings　of　gratitude　about　now。　

〃What　did　you　tell　him　about　Renesmee？〃　I　struggled　to　maintain　the　razor　edge　in　my　voice；　fighting　the　
reluctant　appreciation。　It　was　premature。　There　was　still　so　much　wrong　with　this　situation。　Even　if　
Jacob's　intervention　had　brought　out　a　better　reaction　in　Charlie　than　I'd　ever　hoped　for。。。　

〃Oh　yeah。　So　I　told　him　that　you　and　Edward　had　inherited　a　new　little　mouth　to　feed。〃　He　glanced　at　
Edward。　〃She's　your　orphaned　ward—like　Bruce　Wayne　and　Dick　Grayson。〃　Jacob　snorted。　〃I　didn't　
think　you'd　mind　me　lying。　That's　all　part　of　the　game；　right？〃　Edward　didn't　respond　in　any　way；　so　
Jacob　went　on。　〃Charlie　was　way　past　being　shocked　at　this　point；　but　he　did　ask　if　you　were　adopting　



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her。　'Like　a　daughter？　Like　I'm　sort　of　a　grandfather？'　were　his　exact　words。　I　told　him　yes。　'Congrats；　
Gramps；'　and　all　of　that。　He　even　smiled　a　little。〃　

The　stinging　returned　to　my　eyes；　but　not　out　of　fear　or　anguish　this　time。　Charlie　was　smiling　at　the　idea　
of　being　a　grandpa？　Charlie　would　meet　Renesmee？　

〃But　she's　changing　so　fast；〃　I　whispered。　

〃I　told　him　that　she　was　more　special　than　all　of　us　put　together；〃　Jacob　said　in　a　soft　voice。　He　stood　
and　walked　right　up　to　me；　waving　Leah　and　Seth　off　when　they　started　to　follow。　Renesmee　reached　out　
to　him；　but　I　hugged　her　more　tightly　to　me。　〃I　told　him；　Trust　me；　you　don't　want　to　know　about　this。　But　
if　you　can　ignore　all　the　strange　parts；　you're　going　to　be　amazed。　She's　the　most　wonderful　person　in　the　
whole　world。'　And　then　I　told　him　that　if　he　could　deal　with　that；　you　all　would　stick　around　for　a　while　
and　he　would　have　a　chance　to　get　to　know　her。　But　that　if　it　was　too　much　for　him；　you　would　leave。　He　
said　as　long　as　no　one　forced　too　much　information　on　him；　he'd　deal。〃　

Jacob　stared　at　me　with　half　a　smile；　waiting。　

〃I'm　not　going　to　say　thank　you；〃　I　told　him。　〃You're　still　putting　Charlie　at　a　huge　risk。〃　

〃I　am　sorry　about　it　hurting　you。　I　didn't　know　it　was　like　that。　Bella；　things　are　different　with　us　now；　but　
you'll　always　be　my　best　friend；　and　I'll　always　love　you。　But　I'll　love　you　the　right　way　now。　There's　
finally　a　balance。　We　both　have　people　we　can't　live　without。〃　

He　smiled　his　very　most　Jacoby　smile。　〃Still　friends？〃　

Try　as　hard　as　I　could　to　resist；　I　had　to　smile　back。　Just　a　tiny　smile。　

He　held　out　his　hand：　an　offer。　

I　took　a　deep　breath　and　shifted　Renesmee's　weight　to　one　arm。　I　put　my　left　hand　in　his—he　didn't　even　
flinch　at　the　feel　of　my　cool　skin。　〃If　I　don't　kill　Charlie　tonight；　I'll　consider　forgiving　you　for　this。〃　

〃Whenyou　don't　kill　Charlie　tonight；　you'll　owe　me　huge。〃　

I　rolled　my　eyes。　

He　held　out　his　other　hand　toward　Renesmee；　a　request　this　time。　〃Can　I？〃　

〃I'm　actually　holding　her　so　that　my　hands　aren't　free　to　kill　you；　Jacob。　Maybe　later。〃　

He　sighed　but　didn't　push　me　on　it。　Wise　of　him。　

Alice　raced　back　through　the　door　then；　her　hands　full　and　her　expression　promising　violence。　

〃You；　you；　and　you；〃　she　snapped；　glaring　at　the　werewolves。　〃If　you　must　stay；　get　over　in　the　corner　
and　mit　to　being　there　for　a　while。　I　need　to　see。　Bella；　you'd　better　give　him　the　baby；　too。　You'll　
need　your　arms　free；　anyway。〃　

Jacob　grinned　in　triumph。　




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Undiluted　fear　ripped　through　my　stomach　as　the　enormity　of　what　I　was　about　to　do　hit　me。　I　was　going　
to　gamble　on　my　iffy　selfcontrol　with　my　pure　human　father　as　the　guinea　pig。　Edward's　earlier　words　
crashed　in　my　ears　again。　

Did　you　consider　the　physical　pain　you're　putting　Bella　through；　even　if　she　can　resist？　Or　the　emotional　
pain　if　she　doesn't？　

I　couldn't　imagine　the　pain　of　failure。　My　breathing　turned　to　gasps。　

〃Take　her；〃　I　whispered；　sliding　Renesmee　into　Jacob's　arms。　

He　nodded；　concern　wrinkling　his　forehead。　He　gestured　to　the　others；　and　they　all　went　to　the　far　
corner　of　the　room。　Seth　and　Jake　slouched　on　the　floor　at　once；　but　Leah　shook　her　head　and　pursed　
her　lips。　

〃Am　I　allowed　to　leave？〃　she　griped。　She　looked　unfortable　in　her　human　body；　wearing　the　same　
dirty　tshirt　and　cotton　shorts　she'd　worn　to　shriek　at　me　the　other　day；　her　short　hair　sticking　up　in　
irregular　tufts。　Her　hands　were　still　shaking。　

〃Of　course；〃　Jake　said。　

〃Stay　east　so　you　don't　cross　Charlie's　path；〃　Alice　added。　

Leah　didn't　look　at　Alice；　she　ducked　out　the　back　door　and　stomped　into　the　bushes　to　phase。　

Edward　was　back　at　my　side；　stroking　my　face。　〃You　can　do　this。　I　know　you　can。　Ill　help　you；　we　all　
will。〃　

I　met　Edward's　eyes　with　panic　screaming　from　my　face。　Was　he　strong　enough　to　stop　me　if　I　made　a　
wrong　move？　

〃If　I　didn't　believe　you　could　handle　it；　we'd　disappear　today。　This　very　minute。　But　you　can。　And　you'll　
be　happier　if　you　can　have　Charlie　in　your　life。〃　

I　tried　to　slow　my　breathing。　

Alice　held　out　her　hand。　There　was　a　small　white　box　on　her　palm。　〃These　will　irritate　your　eyes—they　
won't　hurt；　but　they'll　cloud　your　vision。　It's　annoying。　They　also　won't　match　your　old　color；　but　it's　still　
better　than　bright　red；　right？〃　

She　flipped　the　contact　box　into　the　air　and　I　caught　it。　

〃When　did　you—〃　

〃Before　you　left　on　the　honeymoon。　I　was　prepared　for　several　possible　futures。〃　

I　nodded　and　opened　the　container。　I'd　never　worn　contacts　before；　but　it　couldn't　be　that　hard。　I　took　
the　little　brown　quartersphere　and　pressed　it；　concave　side　in；　to　my　eye。　

I　blinked；　and　a　film　interrupted　my　sight。　I　could　see　through　it；　of　course；　but　I　could　also　see　the　
texture　of　the　



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thin　screen。　My　eye　kept　focusing　on　the　microscopic　scratches　and　warped　sections。　

〃I　see　what　you　mean；〃　I　murmured　as　I　stuck　the　other　one　in。　I　tried　to　not　blink　this　time。　My　eye　
automatically　wanted　to　dislodge　the　obstruction。　

〃How　do　I　look？〃　

Edward　smiled。　〃Gorgeous。　Of　course—〃　

〃Yes；　yes；　she　always　looks　gorgeous；〃　Alice　finished　his　thought　impatiently。　〃It's　better　than　red；　but　
that's　the　highest　mendation　I　can　give。　Muddy　brown。　Your　brown　was　much　prettier。　Keep　in　mind　
that　those　won't　last　forever—the　venom　in　your　eyes　will　dissolve　them　in　a　few　hours。　So　if　Charlie　
stays　longer　than　that；　you'll　have　to　excuse　yourself　to　replace　them。　Which　is　a　good　idea　anyway；　
because　humans　need　bathroom　breaks。〃　She　shook　her　head。　〃Esme；　give　her　a　few　pointers　on　acting　
human　while　I　stock　the　powder　room　with　contacts。〃　

〃How　long　do　I　have？〃　

〃Charlie　will　be　here　in　five　minutes。　Keep　it　simple。〃　

Esme　nodded　once　and　came　to　take　my　hand。　〃The　main　thing　is　not　to　sit　too　still　or　move　too　fast；〃　
she　told　me。　

〃Sit　down　if　he　does；〃　Emmett　interjected。　〃Humans　don't　like　to　just　stand　there。〃　

〃Let　your　eyes　wander　every　thirty　seconds　or　so；〃　Jasper　added。　〃Humans　don't　stare　at　one　thing　for　
too　long。〃　

〃Cross　your　legs　for　about　five　minutes；　then　switch　to　crossing　your　ankles　for　the　next　five；〃　Rosalie　
said。　

I　nodded　once　at　each　suggestion。　I'd　noticed　them　doing　some　of　these　things　yesterday。　I　thought　I　
could　mimic　their　actions。　

〃And　blink　at　least　three　times　a　minute；〃　Emmett　said。　He　frowned；　then　darted　to　where　the　television　
remote　sat　on　the　end　table。　He　flipped　the　TV　on　to　a　college　football　game　and　nodded　to　himself。　

〃Move　your　hands；　too。　Brush　your　hair　back　or　pretend　to　scratch　something；〃　Jasper　said。　

〃I　said　Esme〃　Alice　plained　as　she　returned。　〃You'll　overwhelm　her。〃　

〃No；　I　think　I　got　it　all；〃　I　said。　〃Sit；　look　around；　blink；　fidget。〃　

〃Right；〃　Esme　approved。　She　hugged　my　shoulders。　

Jasper　frowned。　〃You'll　be　holding　your　breath　as　much　as　possible；　but　you　need　to　move　your　
shoulders　a　little　to　make　it　ooclike　you're　breathing。〃　

I　inhaled　once　and　then　nodded　again。　




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Edward　hugged　me　on　my　free　side。　〃You　can　do　this；〃　he　repeated；　murmuring　the　encouragement　in　
my　ear。　

〃Two　minutes；〃　Alice　said。　〃Maybe　you　should　start　out　already　on　the　couch。　You've　been　sick；　after　
all。　That　way　he　won't　have　to　see　you　move　right　at　first。〃　

Alice　pulled　me　to　the　sofa。　I　tried　to　move　slowly；　to　make　my　limbs　more　clumsy。　She　rolled　her　eyes；　
so　I　must　not　have　been　doing　a　good　job。　

〃Jacob；　I　need　Renesmee；〃　I　said。　

Jacob　frowned；　unmoving。　

Alice　shook　her　head。　〃Bella；　that　doesn't　help　me　see。〃　

〃But　I　need　her。　She　keeps　me　calm。'7The　edge　of　panic　in　my　voice　was　unmistakable。　

〃Fine；〃　Alice　groaned。　〃Hold　her　as　still　as　you　can　and　I'll　try　to　see　around　her。〃　She　sighed　wearily；　
like　she'd　been　asked　to　work　overtime　on　a　holiday。　Jacob　sighed；　too；　but　brought　Renesmee　to　me；　
and　then　retreated　quickly　from　Alice's　glare。　

Edward　took　a　seat　beside　me　and　put　his　arms　around　Renesmee　and　me。　He　leaned　forward　and　
looked　Renesmee　very　seriously　in　the　eyes。　

〃Renesmee；　someone　special　is　ing　to　see　you　and　your　mother；〃　he　said　in　a　solemn　voice；　as　if　he　
expected　her　to　understand　every　word。　Did　she？　She　looked　back　at　him　with　clear；　grave　eyes。　〃But　
he's　not　like　us；　or　even　like　Jacob。　We　have　to　be　very　careful　with　him。　You　shouldn't　tell　him　things　the　
way　you　tell　us。〃　

Renesmee　touched　his　face。　

〃Exactly；〃　he　said。　〃And　he's　going　to　make　you　thirsty。　But　you　mustn't　bite　him。　He　won't　heal　like　
Jacob。〃　

〃Can　she　understand　you？〃　I　whispered。　

〃She　understands。　You'll　be　careful；　won't　you；　Renesmee？　You'll　help　us？〃　

Renesmee　touched　him　again。　

〃No；　I　don't　care　if　you　bite　Jacob。　That's　fine。〃　

Jacob　chuckled。　

〃Maybe　you　should　leave；　Jacob；〃　Edward　said　coldly；　glaring　in　his　direction。　Edward　hadn't　forgiven　
Jacob；　because　he　knew　that　no　matter　what　happened　now；　I　was　going　to　be　hurting。　But　I'd　take　the　
burn　happily　if　that　were　the　worst　thing　I'd　face　tonight。　

〃I　told　Charlie　I'd　be　here；〃　Jacob　said。　〃He　needs　the　moral　support。〃　

〃Moral　support；〃　Edward　scoffed。　〃As　far　as　Charlie　knows；　you're　the　most　repulsive　monster　of　us　all。〃　



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〃Repulsive？〃　Jake　protested；　and　then　he　laughed　quietly　to　himself。　

I　heard　the　tires　turn　off　the　highway　onto　the　quiet；　damp　earth　of　the　Cullens'　drive；　and　my　breathing　
spiked　again。　My　heart　ought　to　have　been　hammering。　It　made　me　anxious　that　my　body　didn't　have　the　
right　reactions。　

I　concentrated　on　the　steady　thrumming　of　Renesmee's　heart　to　calm　myself。　It　worked　pretty　quickly。　

〃Well　done；　Bella；〃　Jasper　whispered　in　approval。　

Edward　tightened　his　arm　over　my　shoulders。　

〃You're　sure？〃　I　asked　him。　

〃Positive。　You　can　do　anything〃　He　smiled　and　kissed　me。　

It　wasn't　precisely　a　peck　on　the　lips；　and　my　wild　vampiric　reactions　took　me　off　guard　yet　again。　
Edward's　lips　were　like　a　shot　of　some　addictive　chemical　straight　into　my　nervous　system。　I　was　instantly　
craving　more。　It　took　all　my　concentration　to　remember　the　baby　in　my　arms。　

Jasper　felt　my　mood　change。　〃Er；　Edward；　you　might　not　want　to　distract　her　like　that　right　now。　She　
needs　to　be　

able　to　focus。〃　

Edward　pulled　away。　〃Oops；〃　he　said。　

I　laughed。　That　had　been　my　line　from　the　very　beginning；　from　the　very　first　kiss。　

〃Later；〃　I　said；　and　anticipation　curled　my　stomach　into　a　ball。　

〃Focus；　Bella；〃　Jasper　urged。　

〃Right。〃　i　pushed　the　trembly　feelings　away。　Charlie；　that　was　the　main　thing　now。　Keep　Charlie　safe　
today。　We　would　have　all　night___　

〃Bella。〃　

〃Sorry；　Jasper。〃　

Emmett　laughed。　

The　sound　of　Charlie's　cruiser　got　closer　and　closer。　The　second　of　levity　passed；　and　everyone　was　still。　
I　crossed　my　legs　and　practiced　my　blinks。　

The　car　pulled　in　front　of　the　house　and　idled　for　a　few　seconds。　I　wondered　if　Charlie　was　as　nervous　
as　I　was。　Then　the　engine　cut　off；　and　a　door　slammed。　Three　steps　across　the　grass；　and　then　eight　
echoing　thuds　against　the　wooden　stairs。　Four　more　echoing　footsteps　across　the　porch。　Then　silence。　
Charlie　took　two　deep　breaths。　




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Knock；　knock；　knock。　

I　inhaled　for　what　might　be　t