4 breaking dawn破晓-第51部分

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the　time！〃　

〃No　one　doubts　you；　Bella；　not　in　the　slightest；〃　he　assured　me。　〃You　know　how　Jasper　is—he　can't　
resist　a　good　emotional　climate。　You're　so　happy　all　the　time；　love；　he　gravitates　toward　you　without　
thinking。〃　

And　then　Edward　hugged　me　tightly；　because　nothing　pleased　him　more　than　my　overwhelming　ecstasy　
in　this　new　life。　

And　I　was　euphoric　the　vast　majority　of　the　time。　The　days　were　not　long　enough　for　me　to　get　my　fill　of　
adoring　my　daughter；　the　nights　did　not　have　enough　hours　to　satisfy　my　need　for　Edward。　

There　was　a　flipside　to　the　joy；　though。　If　you　turned　the　fabric　of　our　lives　over；　I　imagined　the　design　
on　the　backside　would　be　woven　in　the　bleak　grays　of　doubt　and　fear。　

Renesmee　spoke　her　first　word　when　she　was　exactly　one　week　old。　The　word　was　Momma；　which　
would　have　made　my　day；　except　that　I　was　so　frightened　by　her　progress　I　could　barely　force　my　frozen　
face　to　smile　back　at　her。　It　didn't　help　that　she　continued　from　her　first　word　to　her　first　sentence　in　the　
same　breath。　〃Momma；　where　is　Grandpa？〃　she'd　asked　in　a　clear；　high　soprano；　only　bothering　to　speak　
aloud　because　I　was　across　the　room　from　her。　She'd　already　asked　Rosalie；　using　her　normal　（or　
seriously　abnormal；　from　another　point　of　view）　means　of　munication。　Rosalie　hadn't　known　the　
answer；　so　Renesmee　had　turned　to　me。　

When　she　walked　for　the　first　time；　fewer　than　three　weeks　later；　it　was　similar。　She'd　simply　stared　at　
Alice　for　a　long　moment；　watching　intently　as　her　aunt　arranged　bouquets　in　the　vases　scattered　around　
the　room；　dancing　back　and　forth　across　the　floor　with　her　arms　full　of　flowers。　Renesmee　got　to　her　feet；　
not　in　the　least　bit　shaky；　and　crossed　the　floor　almost　as　gracefully。　

Jacob　had　burst　into　applause；　because　that　was　clearly　the　response　Renesmee　wanted。　The　way　he　
was　tied　to　her　made　his　own　reactions　secondary；　his　first　reflex　was　always　to　give　Renesmee　whatever　
she　needed。　But　our　eyes　met；　and　I　saw　all　the　panic　in　mine　echoed　in　his。　I　made　my　hands　clap　
together；　too；　trying　to　hide　my　fear　from　her。　Edward　applauded　quietly　at　my　side；　and　we　didn't　need　
to　speak　our　thoughts　to　know　they　were　the　same。　

Edward　and　Carlisle　threw　themselves　into　research；　looking　for　any　answers；　anything　to　expect。　There　
was　

very　little　to　be　found；　and　none　of　it　verifiable。　

Alice　and　Rosalie　usually　began　our　day　with　a　fashion　show。　Renesmee　never　wore　the　same　clothes　



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twice；　partly　because　she　outgrew　her　clothes　almost　immediately　and　partly　because　Alice　and　Rosalie　
were　trying　to　create　a　baby　album　that　appeared　to　span　years　rather　than　weeks。　They　took　thousands　
of　pictures；　documenting　every　phase　of　her　accelerated　childhood。　

At　three　months；　Renesmee　could　have　been　a　big　oneyearold；　or　a　small　twoyearold。　She　wasn't　
shaped　exactly　like　a　toddler；　she　was　leaner　and　more　graceful；　her　proportions　were　more　even；　like　an　
adult's。　Her　bronze　ringlets　hung　to　her　waist；　I　couldn't　bear　to　cut　them；　even　if　Alice　would　have　
allowed　it。　Renesmee　could　speak　with　flawless　grammar　and　articulation；　but　she　rarely　bothered；　
preferring　to　simply　show　people　what　she　wanted。　She　could　not　only　walk　but　run　and　dance。　She　
could　even　read。　

I'd　been　reading　Tennyson　to　her　one　night；　because　the　flow　and　rhythm　of　his　poetry　seemed　restful。　（I　
had　to　search　constantly　for　new　material；　Renesmee　didn't　like　repetition　in　her　bedtime　stories　as　other　
children　supposedly　did；　and　she　had　no　patience　for　picture　books。）　She　reached　up　to　touch　my　cheek；　
the　image　in　her　mind　one　of　us；　only　with　her　holding　the　book。　I　gave　it　to　her；　smiling。　

〃　There　is　sweet　music　here；'〃　she　read　without　hesitation；　〃'that　softer　falls　than　petals　from　blown　roses　
on　the　grass；　or　nightdews　on　still　waters　between　walls　of　shadowy　granite；　in　a　gleaming　pass—'〃　

My　hand　was　robotic　as　I　took　the　book　back。　

〃If　you　read；　how　will　you　fall　asleep？〃　I　asked　in　a　voice　that　had　barely　escaped　shaking。　

By　Carlisle's　calculations；　the　growth　of　her　body　was　gradually　slowing；　her　mind　continued　to　race　on　
ahead。　Even　if　the　rate　of　decrease　held　steady；　she'd　still　be　an　adult　in　no　more　than　four　years。　

Four　years。　And　an　old　woman　by　fifteen。　

Just　fifteen　years　of　life。　

But　she　was　so　healthy。　Vital；　bright；　glowing；　and　happy。　Her　conspicuous　wellbeing　made　it　easy　for　
me　to　be　happy　with　her　in　the　moment　and　leave　the　future　for　tomorrow。　

Carlisle　and　Edward　discussed　our　options　for　the　future　from　every　angle　in　low　voices　that　I　tried　not　
to　hear。　They　never　had　these　discussions　when　Jacob　was　around；　because　there　was　one　sure　way　to　
halt　aging；　and　that　wasn't　something　Jacob　was　likely　to　be　excited　about。　I　wasn't。　Too　dangerous！　my　
instincts　screamed　at　me。　Jacob　and　Renesmee　seemed　alike　in　so　many　ways；　both　halfandhalf　beings；　
two　things　at　the　same　time。　And　all　the　werewolf　lore　insisted　that　vampire　venom　was　a　death　sentence　
rather　than　a　course　to　immortality___　

Carlisle　and　Edward　had　exhausted　the　research　they　could　do　from　a　distance；　and　now　we　were　
preparing　to　follow　old　legends　at　their　source。　We　were　going　back　to　Brazil；　starting　there。　The　Ticunas　
had　legends　about　children　like　Renesmee。。。。　If　other　children　like　her　had　ever　existed；　perhaps　some　
tale　of　the　life　span　of　halfmortal　children　still　lingered___　

The　only　real　question　left　was　exactly　when　we　would　go。　

I　was　the　holdup。　A　small　part　of　it　was　that　I　wanted　to　stay　near　Forks　until　after　the　holidays；　for　
Charlie's　

sake。　But　more　than　that；　there　was　a　different　journey　that　I　knew　had　to　e　first—that　was　the　clear　



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priority。　Also；　it　had　to　be　a　solo　trip。　

This　was　the　only　argument　that　Edward　and　I　had　gotten　in　since　I'd　bee　a　vampire。　The　main　point　
of　contention　was　the　〃solo〃　part。　But　the　facts　were　what　they　were；　and　my　plan　was　the　only　one　that　
made　rational　sense。　I　had　to　go　see　the　Volturi；　and　I　had　to　do　it　absolutely　alone。　

Even　freed　from　old　nightmares；　from　any　dreams　at　all；　it　was　impossible　to　forget　the　Volturi。　Nor　did　
they　leave　us　without　reminders。　

Until　the　day　that　Aro's　present　showed　up；　i　didn't　know　that　Alice　had　sent　a　wedding　announcement　
to　the　Volturi　leaders；　we'd　been　far　away　on　Esme's　island　when　she'd　seen　a　vision　of　Volturi　soldiers　
—Jane　and　Alec；　the　devastatingly　powerful　twins；　among　them。　Caius　was　planning　to　send　a　hunting　
party　to　see　if　I　was　still　human；　against　their　edict　（because　I　knew　about　the　secret　vampire　world；　I　
either　must　join　it　or　be　silenced。。。　permanently）。　So　Alice　had　mailed　the　announcement；　seeing　that　this　
would　delay　them　as　they　deciphered　the　meaning　behind　it。　But　they　would　e　eventually。　That　was　
certain。　

The　present　itself　was　not　overtly　threatening。　Extravagant；　yes；　almost　frightening　in　that　very　
extravagance。　The　threat　was　in　the　parting　line　of　Aro's　congratulatory　note；　written　in　black　ink　on　a　
square　of　heavy；　plain　white　paper　in　Aro's　own　hand：　

I　so　look　forward　to　seeing　the　new　Mrs。　Cullen　in　person。　

The　gift　was　presented　in　an　ornately　carved；　ancient　wooden　box　inlaid　with　gold　and　motherofpearl；　
ornamented　with　a　rainbow　of　gemstones。　Alice　said　the　box　itself　was　a　priceless　treasure；　that　it　would　
have　outshone　just　about　any　piece　of　jewelry　besides　the　one　inside　it。　

〃I　always　wondered　where　the　crown　jewels　disappeared　to　after　John　of　England　pawned　them　in　the　
thirteenth　century；〃　Carlisle　said。　〃I　suppose　it　doesn't　surprise　me　that　the　Volturi　have　their　share。〃　

The　necklace　was　simple—gold　woven　into　a　thick　rope　of　a　chain；　almost　scaled；　like　a　smooth　snake　
that　would　curl　close　around　the　throat。　One　jewel　hung　suspended　from　the　rope；　a　white　diamond　the　
size　of　a　golf　ball。　

The　unsubtle　reminder　in　Aro's　note　interested　me　more　than　the　jewel。　The　Volturi　needed　to　see　that　I　
was　immortal；　that　the　Cullens　had　been　obedient　to　the　Volturi's　orders；　and　they　needed　to　see　this　
soon。　They　could　not　be　allowed　near　Forks。　There　was　only　one　way　to　keep　our　life　here　safe。　

〃You're　not　going　alone；〃　Edward　had　insisted　through　his　teeth；　his　hands　clenching　into　fists。　

〃They　won't　hurt　me；〃　I'd　said　as　soothingly　as　I　could　manage；　forcing　my　voice　to　sound　sure。　〃They　
have　no　reason　to。　I'm　a　vampire。　Case　closed。〃　

〃No。　Absolutely　no。〃　

〃Edward；　it's　the　only　way　to　protect　her。〃　

And　he　hadn't　been　able　to　argue　with　that。　My　logic　was　watertight。　

Even　in　the　short　time　I'd　known　Aro；　I'd　been　able　to　see　that　he　was　a　collector—and　his　most　prized　
treasures　were　his　living　pieces。　He　coveted　beauty；　talent；　and　rarity　in　his　immortal　followers　more　than　



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any　jewel　locked　in　his　vaults。　It　was　unfortunate　enough　that　he'd　begun　to　covet　Alice's　and　Edward's　
abilities。　I　would　give　him　no　more　reason　to　be　jealous　of　Carlisle's　family。　Renesmee　was　beautiful　and　
gifted　and　unique—she　was　one　of　a　kind。　He　could　not　be　allowed　to　see　her；　not　even　through　
someone's　thoughts。　

And　I　was　the　only　one　whose　thoughts　he　could　not　hear。　Of　course　I　would　go　alone。　

Alice　did　not　see　any　trouble　with　my　trip；　but　she　was　worried　by　the　indistinct　quality　of　her　visions。　
She　said　they　were　sometimes　similarly　hazy　when　there　were　outside　decisions　that　might　conflict　but　
that　had　not　been　solidly　resolved。　This　uncertainty　made　Edward；　already　hesitant；　extremely　opposed　
to　what　I　had　to　do。　He　wanted　to　e　with　me　as　far　as　my　connection　in　London；　but　I　wouldn't　leave　
Renesmee　without　both　her　parents。　Carlisle　was　ing　instead。　It　made　both　Edward　and　me　a　little　
more　relaxed；　knowing　that　Carlisle　would　be　only　a　few　hours　away　from　me。　

Alice　kept　searching　for　the　future；　but　the　things　she　found　were　unrelated　to　what　she　was　looking　for。　
A　new　trend　in　the　stock　market；　a　possible　visit　of　reconciliation　from　Irina；　though　her　decision　was　not　
firm；　a　snowstorm　that　wouldn't　hit　for　another　six　weeks；　a　call　from　Renee　（I　was　practicing　my　〃rough〃　
voice；　and　getting　better　at　it　every　day—to　Renee's　knowledge；　I　was　still　sick；　but　mending）。　

We　bought　the　tickets　for　Italy　the　day　after　Renesmee　turned　three　months。　I　planned　for　it　to　be　a　very　
short　trip；　so　I　hadn't　told　Charlie　about　it。　Jacob　knew；　and　he　took　Edward's　view　on　things。　However；　
today　the　argument　was　about　Brazil。　Jacob　was　determined　to　e　with　us。　

The　three　of　us；　Jacob；　Renesmee；　and　I；　were　hunting　together。　The　diet　of　animal　blood　wasn't　
Renesmee's　favorite　thing—and　that　was　why　Jacob　was　allowed　to　e　along。　Jacob　had　made　it　a　
contest　between　them；　and　that　made　her　more　willing　than　anything　else。　

Renesmee　was　quite　clear　on　the　whole　good　vs。　bad　as　it　applied　to　hunting　humans；　she　just　thought　
that　donated　blood　made　a　nice　promise。　Human　food　filled　her　and　it　seemed　patible　with　her　
system；　but　she　reacted　to　all　varieties　of　solid　food　with　the　same　martyred　endurance　I　had　once　given　
cauliflower　and　lima　beans。　Animal　blood　was　better　than　that；　at　least。　She　had　a　petitive　nature；　
and　the　challenge　of　beating　Jacob　made　her　excited　to　hunt。　

〃Jacob；〃　I　said；　trying　to　reason　with　him　again　while　Renesmee　danced　ahead　of　us　into　the　long　
clearing；　searching　for　a　scent　she　liked。　〃You've　got　obligations　here。　Seth；　Leah—〃　

He　snorted。　〃I'm　not　my　pack's　nanny。　They've　all　got　responsibilities　in　La　Push　anyway。〃　

〃Sort　of　like　you？　Are　you　officially　dropping　out　of　high　school；　then？　If　you're　going　to　keep　up　with　
Renesmee；　you're　going　to　have　to　study　a　lot　harder。〃　

〃It's　just　a　sabbatical。　I'll　get　back　to　school　when　things。。。　slow　down。〃　

I　lost　my　concentration　on　my　side　of　the　disagreement　when　he　said　that；　and　we　both　automatically　
looked　at　

Renesmee。　She　was　staring　at　the　snowflakes　fluttering　high　above　her　head；　melting　before　they　could　
stick　to　the　yellowed　grass　in　the　long　arrowheadshaped　meadow　that　we　were　standing　in。　Her　ruffled　
ivory　dress　was　just　a　shade　darker　than　the　snow；　and　her　reddishbrown　curls　managed　to　shimmer；　
though　the　sun　was　buried　deeply　behind　the　clouds。　




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As　we　watched；　she　crouched　for　an　instant　and　then　sprang　fifteen　feet　up　into　the　air。　Her　little　hands　
closed　around　a　flake；　and　she　dropped　lightly　to　her　feet。　

She　turned　to　us　with　her　shocking　smile—truly；　it　wasn't　something　you　could　get　used　to—and　opened　
her　hands　to　show　us　the　perfectly　formed　eightpointed　ice　star　in　her　palm　before　it　melted。　

〃Pretty；〃　Jacob　called　to　her　appreciatively。　〃But　I　think　you're　stalling；　Nessie。〃　

She　bounded　back　to　Jacob；　he　held　his　arms　out　at　exactly　the　moment　she　leaped　into　them。　They　had　
the　move　perfectly　synchronized。　She　did　this　when　she　had　something　to　say。　She　still　preferred　not　to　
speak　aloud。　

Renesmee　touched　his　face；　scowling　adorably　as　we　all　listened　to　the　sound　of　a　small　herd　of　elk　
moving　farther　into　the　wood。　

〃Suuuureyou're　not　thirsty；　Nessie；〃　Jacob　answered　a　little　sarcastically；　but　more　indulgently　than　
anything　else。　〃You're　just　afraid　HI　catch　the　biggest　one　again！〃　

She　flipped　backward　out　of　Jacob's　arms；　landing　lightly　on　her　feet；　and　rolled　her　eyes—she　looked　
so　much　like　Edward　when　she　did　that。　Then　she　darted　off　toward　the　trees。　

〃Got　it；〃　Jacob　said　when　I　leaned　as　if　to　follow。　He　yanked　his　tshirt　off　as　he　charged　after　her　into　
the　forest；　already　trembling。　〃It　doesn't　count　if　you　cheat；〃　he　called　to　Renesmee。　

I　smiled　at　the　leaves　they　left　fluttering　behind　them；　shaking　my　head。　Jacob　was　more　a　child　than　
Renesmee　sometimes。　

I　paused；　giving　my　hunters　a　few　minutes'　head　start。　It　would　be　beyond　simple　to　track　them；　and　
Renesmee　would　love　to　surprise　me　with　the　size　of　her　prey。　I　smiled　again。　

The　narrow　meadow　was　very　still；　very　empty。　The　fluttering　snow　was　thinning　above　me；　almost　
gone。　Alice　had　seen　that　it　wouldn't　stick　for　many　weeks。　

Usually　Edward　and　I　came　together　on　these　hunting　trips。　But　Edward　was　with　Carlisle　today；　
planning　the　trip　to　Rio；　talking　behind　Jacob's　back。。。。　I　frowned。　When　I　returned；　I　would　take　Jacob's　
side。　He　should　e　with　us。　He　had　as　big　a　stake　in　this　as　any　of　us—his　entire　life　was　at　stake；　just　
like　mine。　

While　my　thoughts　were　lost　in　the　near　future；　my　eyes　swept　the　mountainside　routinely；　searching　for　
prey；　searching　for　danger。　I　didn't　think　about　it；　the　urge　was　an　automatic　thing。　

Or　perhaps　there　was　a　reason　for　my　scanning；　some　tiny　trigger　that　my　razorsharp　senses　had　caught　
before　I　realized　it　consciously。　

As　my　eyes　flitted　across　the　edge　of　a　distant　cliff；　standing　out　starkly　bluegray　against　the　
greenblack　forest；　a　glint　of　silver—o