4 breaking dawn破晓-第63部分

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I　heard　the　music　before　I　was　out　of　the　car。　Edward　hadn't　touched　his　piano　since　the　night　Alice　left。　
Now；　as　I　shut　the　car　door；　I　heard　the　song　morph　through　a　bridge　and　change　into　my　lullaby。　
Edward　was　weling　me　home。　

I　moved　slowly　as　I　pulled　Renesmee—fast　asleep；　we'd　been　gone　all　day—from　the　car。　We'd　left　
Jacob　at　Charlie's—he'd　said　he　was　going　to　catch　a　ride　home　with　Sue。　I　wondered　if　he　was　trying　to　
fill　his　head　with　enough　trivia　to　crowd　out　the　image　of　the　way　my　face　had　looked　when　I'd　walked　
through　Charlie's　door。　

As　I　walked　slowly　to　the　Cullen　house　now；　I　recognized　that　the　hope　and　uplift　that　seemed　almost　a　
visible　aura　around　the　big　white　house　had　been　mine　this　morning；　too。　It　felt　alien　to　me　now。　

I　wanted　to　cry　again；　hearing　Edward　play　for　me。　But　I　pulled　it　together。　I　didn't　want　him　to　be　
suspicious。　I　would　leave　no　clues　in　his　mind　for　Aro　if　I　could　help　it。　

Edward　turned　his　head　and　smiled　when　I　came　in　the　door；　but　kept　playing。　

〃Wele　home；〃　he　said；　as　if　this　was　just　any　normal　day。　As　if　there　weren't　twelve　other　vampires　
in　the　room　involved　in　various　pursuits；　and　a　dozen　more　scattered　around　somewhere。　〃Did　you　have　a　
good　time　with　Charlie　today？〃　

〃Yes。　Sorry　I　was　gone　so　long。　I　stepped　out　to　do　a　little　Christmas　shopping　for　Renesmee。　I　know　it　
won't　be　much　of　an　event；　but。。。〃　I　shrugged。　

Edward's　lips　turned　down。　He　quit　playing　and　spun　around　on　the　bench　so　that　his　whole　body　was　
facing　me。　He　put　one　hand　on　my　waist　and　pulled　me　closer。　〃I　hadn't　thought　much　about　it。　If　you　
want　to　make　an　event　of　it—〃　

〃No；〃　I　interrupted　him。　I　flinched　internally　at　the　idea　of　trying　to　fake　more　enthusiasm　than　the　bare　
minimum。　〃I　just　didn't　want　to　let　it　pass　without　giving　her　something。〃　

〃Do　I　get　to　see？〃　

〃If　you　want。　It's　only　a　little　thing。〃　

Renesmee　was　pletely　unconscious；　snoring　delicately　against　my　neck。　I　envied　her。　It　would　have　
been　nice　to　escape　reality；　even　for　just　a　few　hours。　

Carefully；　I　fished　the　little　velvet　jewelry　bag　from　my　clutch　without　opening　the　purse　enough　for　
Edward　to　see　the　cash　I　was　still　carrying。　

〃It　caught　my　eye　from　the　window　of　an　antique　store　while　I　was　driving　by。〃　

I　shook　the　little　golden　locket　into　his　palm。　It　was　round　with　a　slender　vine　border　carved　around　the　
outside　edge　of　the　circle。　Edward　popped　the　tiny　catch　and　looked　inside。　There　was　space　for　a　small　
picture　and；　on　the　opposite　side；　an　inscription　in　French。　

〃Do　you　know　what　this　says？〃　he　asked　in　a　different　tone；　more　subdued　than　before。　

〃The　shopkeeper　told　me　it　said　something　along　the　lines　of　'more　than　my　own　life。'　Is　that　right？〃　



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〃Yes；　he　had　it　right。〃　

He　looked　up　at　me；　his　topaz　eyes　probing。　I　met　his　gaze　for　a　moment；　then　pretended　to　be　
distracted　by　the　television。　

〃I　hope　she　likes　it；〃　I　muttered。　

〃Of　course　she　will；〃　he　said　lightly；　casually；　and　I　was　sure　in　that　second　that　he　knew　I　was　keeping　
something　from　him。　I　was　also　sure　that　he　had　no　idea　of　the　specifics。　

〃Let's　take　her　home；〃　he　suggested；　standing　and　putting　his　arm　around　my　shoulders。　

I　hesitated。　

〃What？〃　he　demanded。　

〃I　wanted　to　practice　with　Emmett　a　little___〃　I'd　lost　the　whole　day　to　my　vital　errand；　it　made　me　feel　
behind。　

Emmett—on　the　sofa　with　Rose　and　holding　the　remote；　of　course—looked　up　and　grinned　in　
anticipation。　〃Excellent。　The　forest　needs　thinning。〃　

Edward　frowned　at　Emmett　and　then　at　me。　

〃There's　plenty　of　time　for　that　tomorrow；〃　he　said。　

〃Don't　be　ridiculous；〃　I　plained。　〃There's　no　such　thing　as　plenty　of　time　anymore。　That　concept　
does　not　exist。　I　have　a　lot　to　learn　and—〃　

He　cut　me　off。　〃Tomorrow。〃　

And　his　expression　was　such　that　not　even　Emmett　argued。　

i　was　surprised　at　how　hard　it　was　to　go　back　to　a　routine　that　was；　after　all；　brand　new。　But　stripping　
away　even　that　little　bit　of　hope　I'd　been　fostering　made　everything　seem　impossible。　

I　tried　to　focus　on　the　positives。　There　was　a　good　chance　that　my　daughter　was　going　to　survive　what　
was　

ing；　and　Jacob；　too。　If　they　had　a　future；　then　that　was　a　kind　of　victory；　wasn't　it？　Our　little　band　
must　be　going　to　hold　their　own　if　Jacob　and　Renesmee　were　going　to　have　the　opportunity　to　run　in　the　
first　place。　Yes；　Alice's　strategy　only　made　sense　if　we　were　going　to　put　up　a　really　good　fight。　So；　a　
kind　of　victory　there；　too；　considering　that　the　Volturi　had　never　been　seriously　challenged　in　millennia。　

It　was　not　going　to　be　the　end　of　the　world。　Just　the　end　of　the　Cullens。　The　end　of　Edward；　the　end　of　
me。　

I　preferred　it　that　way—the　last　part　anyway。　I　would　not　live　without　Edward　again；　if　he　was　leaving　
this　world；　then　I　would　be　right　behind　him。　




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I　wondered　idly　now　and　then　if　there　would　be　anything　for　us　on　the　other　side。　I　knew　Edward　didn't　
really　believe　so；　but　Carlisle　did。　I　couldn't　imagine　it　myself。　On　the　other　hand；　I　couldn't　imagine　
Edward　not　existing　somehow；　somewhere。　If　we　could　be　together　in　any　place；　then　that　was　a　happy　
ending。　

And　so　the　pattern　of　my　days　continued；　just　that　much　harder　than　before。　

We　went　to　see　Charlie　on　Christmas　Day；　Edward；　Renesmee；　Jacob；　and　I。　All　of　Jacob's　pack　were　
there；　plus　Sam；　Emily；　and　Sue。　It　was　a　big　help　to　have　them　there　in　Charlie's　little　rooms；　their　huge；　
warm　bodies　wedged　into　corners　around　his　sparsely　decorated　tree—you　could　see　exactly　where　he'd　
gotten　bored　and　quit—and　overflowing　his　furniture。　You　could　always　count　on　werewolves　to　be　
buzzed　about　a　ing　fight；　no　matter　how　suicidal。　The　electricity　of　their　excitement　provided　a　nice　
current　that　disguised　my　utter　lack　of　spirit。　Edward　was；　as　always；　a　better　actor　than　I　was。　

Renesmee　wore　the　locket　I'd　given　her　at　dawn；　and　in　her　jacket　pocket　was　the　MP3　player　Edward　
had　given　her—a　tiny　thing　that　held　five　thousand　songs；　already　filled　with　Edward's　favorites。　On　her　
wrist　was　an　intricately　braided　Quileute　version　of　a　promise　ring。　Edward　had　gritted　his　teeth　over　that　
one；　but　it　didn't　bother　me。　

Soon；　so　soon；　I　would　be　giving　her　to　Jacob　for　safekeeping。　How　could　I　be　bothered　by　any　symbol　
of　the　mitment　I　was　so　relying　on？　

Edward　had　saved　the　day　by　ordering　a　gift　for　Charlie；　too。　It　had　shown　up　yesterday—priority　
overnight　shipping—and　Charlie　spent　all　morning　reading　the　thick　instruction　manual　to　his　new　fishing　
sonar　system。　

From　the　way　the　werewolves　ate；　Sue's　lunch　spread　must　have　been　good。　I　wondered　how　the　
gathering　would　have　looked　to　an　outsider。　Did　we　play　our　parts　well　enough？　Would　a　stranger　have　
thought　us　a　happy　circle　of　friends；　enjoying　the　holiday　with　casual　cheer？　

I　think　Edward　and　Jacob　both　were　as　relieved　as　I　was　when　it　was　time　to　go。　It　felt　odd　to　spend　
energy　on　the　human　fagade　when　there　were　so　many　more　important　things　to　be　doing。　I　had　a　hard　
time　concentrating。　At　the　same　time；　this　was　perhaps　the　last　time　I　would　see　Charlie。　Maybe　it　was　a　
good　thing　that　I　was　too　numb　to　really　register　that。　

I　hadn't　seen　my　mother　since　the　wedding；　but　I　found　I　could　only　be　glad　for　the　gradual　distancing　
that　had　begun　two　years　ago。　She　was　too　fragile　for　my　world。　I　didn't　want　her　to　have　any　part　of　
this。　Charlie　was　stronger。　

Maybe　even　strong　enough　for　a　goodbye　now；　but　I　wasn't。　

It　was　very　quiet　in　the　car；　outside；　the　rain　was　just　a　mist；　hovering　on　the　edge　between　liquid　and　
ice。　Renesmee　sat　on　my　lap；　playing　with　her　locket；　opening　and　closing　it。　I　watched　her　and　imagined　
the　things　I　would　say　to　Jacob　right　now　if　I　didn't　have　to　keep　my　words　out　of　Edward's　head。　

If　its　ever　safe　again；　take　her　to　Charlie。　Tell　him　the　whole　story　someday。　Tell　him　how　much　I　loved　
him；　how　I　couldn't　bear　to　leave　him　even　when　my　human　life　was　over。　Tell　him　he　was　the　best　father。　
Tell　him　to　pass　my　love　on　to　Renee；　all　my　hopes　that　she　will　be　happy　and　well。。。。　

I　would　have　to　give　Jacob　the　documents　before　it　was　too　late。　I　would　give　him　a　note　for　Charlie；　
too。　And　a　letter　for　Renesmee。　Something　for　her　to　read　when　I　couldn't　tell　her　I　loved　her　anymore。　



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There　was　nothing　unusual　about　the　outside　of　the　Cullen　house　as　we　pulled　into　the　meadow；　but　I　
could　hear　some　kind　of　subtle　uproar　inside。　Many　low　voices　murmured　and　growled。　It　sounded　
intense；　and　it　sounded　like　an　argument。　I　could　pick　out　Carlisle's　voice　and　Amun's　more　often　than　the　
others。　

Edward　parked　in　front　of　the　house　rather　than　going　around　to　the　garage。　We　exchanged　one　wary　
glance　before　we　got　out　of　the　car。　

Jacob's　stance　changed；　his　face　turned　serious　and　careful。　I　guessed　that　he　was　in　Alpha　mode　now。　
Obviously；　something　had　happened；　and　he　was　going　to　get　the　information　he　and　Sam　would　need。　

〃Alistair　is　gone；〃　Edward　murmured　as　we　darted　up　the　steps。　

Inside　the　front　room；　the　main　confrontation　was　physically　apparent。　Lining　the　walls　was　a　ring　of　
spectators；　every　vampire　who　had　joined　us；　except　for　Alistair　and　the　three　involved　in　the　quarrel。　
Esme；　Kebi；　and　Tia　were　the　closest　to　the　three　vampires　in　the　center；　in　the　middle　of　the　room；　
Amun　was　hissing　at　Carlisle　and　Benjamin。　

Edward's　jaw　tightened　and　he　moved　quickly　to　Esme's　side；　towing　me　by　the　hand。　I　clutched　
Renesmee　tightly　to　my　chest。　

〃Amun；　if　you　want　to　go；　no　one　is　forcing　you　to　stay；〃　Carlisle　said　calmly。　

〃You're　stealing　half　my　coven；　Carlisle！〃　Amun　shrieked；　stabbing　one　finger　at　Benjamin。　〃Is　that　why　
you　called　me　here？　To　steal　from　me？〃　

Carlisle　sighed；　and　Benjamin　rolled　his　eyes。　

〃Yes；　Carlisle　picked　a　fight　with　the　Volturi；　endangered　his　whole　family；　just　to　lure　me　here　to　my　
death；〃　Benjamin　said　sarcastically。　〃Be　reasonable；　Amun。　I'm　mitted　to　do　the　right　thing　here—I'm　
not　joining　any　other　coven。　You　can　do　whatever　you　want；　of　course；　as　Carlisle　has　pointed　out。〃　

〃This　won't　end　well；〃　Amun　growled。　〃Alistair　was　the　only　sane　one　here。　We　should　all　be　running。〃　

〃Think　of　who　you're　calling　sane；〃　Tia　murmured　in　a　quiet　aside。　

〃We're　all　going　to　be　slaughtered！〃　

〃It's　not　going　to　e　to　a　fight；〃　Carlisle　said　in　a　firm　voice。　

〃You　say！〃　

〃If　it　does；　you　can　always　switch　sides；　Amun。　I'm　sure　the　Volturi　will　appreciate　your　help。〃　

Amun　sneered　at　him。　〃Perhaps　that　is　the　answer。〃　

Carlisle's　answer　was　soft　and　sincere。　〃I　wouldn't　hold　that　against　you；　Amun。　We　have　been　friends　
for　a　long　time；　but　I　would　never　ask　you　to　die　for　me。〃　

Amun's　voice　was　more　controlled；　too。　〃But　you're　taking　my　Benjamin　down　with　you。〃　



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Carlisle　put　his　hand　on　Amun's　shoulder；　Amun　shook　it　off。　

〃I'll　stay；　Carlisle；　but　it　might　be　to　your　detriment。　I　will　join　them　if　that's　the　road　to　survival。　You're　
all　fools　to　think　that　you　can　defy　the　Volturi。〃　He　scowled；　then　sighed；　glanced　at　Renesmee　and　me；　
and　added　in　an　exasperated　tone；　〃I　will　witness　that　the　child　has　grown。　That's　nothing　but　the　truth。　
Anyone　would　see　that。〃　

〃That's　all　we've　ever　asked。〃　

Amun　grimaced；　〃But　not　all　that　you　are　getting；　it　seems。〃　He　turned　on　Benjamin。　〃I　gave　you　life。　
You're　wasting　it。〃　

Benjamin's　face　looked　colder　than　I'd　ever　seen　it；　the　expression　contrasted　oddly　with　his　boyish　
features。　〃It's　a　pity　you　couldn't　replace　my　will　with　your　own　in　the　process；　perhaps　then　you　would　
have　been　satisfied　with　me。〃　

Amun's　eyes　narrowed。　He　gestured　abruptly　to　Kebi；　and　they　stalked　past　us　out　the　front　door。　

〃He's　not　leaving；〃　Edward　said　quietly　to　me；　〃but　he'll　be　keeping　his　distance　even　more　from　now　on。　
He　wasn't　bluffing　when　he　spoke　of　joining　the　Volturi。〃　

〃Why　did　Alistair　go？〃　I　whispered。　

〃No　one　can　be　positive；　he　didn't　leave　a　note。　From　his　mutters；　it's　been　clear　that　he　thinks　a　fight　is　
inevitable。　Despite　his　demeanor；　he　actually　does　care　too　much　for　Carlisle　to　stand　with　the　Volturi。　I　
suppose　he　decided　the　danger　was　too　much。〃　Edward　shrugged。　

Though　our　conversation　was　clearly　just　between　the　two　of　us；　of　course　everyone　could　hear　it。　
Eleazar　answered　Edward's　ment　like　it　had　been　meant　for　all。　

〃From　the　sound　of　his　mumblings；　it　was　a　bit　more　than　that。　We　haven't　spoken　much　of　the　Volturi　
agenda；　but　Alistair　worried　that　no　matter　how　decisively　we　can　prove　your　innocence；　the　Volturi　will　
not　listen。　He　thinks　they　will　find　an　excuse　to　achieve　their　goals　here。〃　

The　vampires　glanced　uneasily　at　one　another。　The　idea　that　the　Volturi　would　manipulate　their　own　
sacrosanct　law　for　gain　was　not　a　popular　idea。　Only　the　Romanians　were　posed；　their　small　
halfsmiles　ironic。　They　seemed　amused　at　how　the　others　wanted　to　think　well　of　their　ancient　enemies。　

Many　low　discussions　began　at　the　same　time；　but　it　was　the　Romanians　I　listened　to。　Maybe　because　
the　fairhaired　Vladimir　kept　shooting　glances　in　my　direction。　

〃I　do　so　hope　Alistair　was　right　about　this；〃　Stefan　murmured　to　Vladimir。　〃No　matter　the　oute；　
word　will　spread。　It's　time　our　world　saw　the　Volturi　for　what　they've　bee。　They'll　never　fall　if　
everyone　believes　this　nonsense　about　them　protecting　our　way　of　life。〃　

〃At　least　when　we　ruled；　we　were　honest　about　what　we　were；〃　Vladimir　replied。　

Stefan　nodded。　〃We　never　put　on　white　hats　and　called　ourselves　saints。〃　

Tm　thinking　the　time　has　e　to　fight；〃　Vladimir　said。　〃How　can　you　imagine　well　ever　find　a　better　



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force　to　stand　with？　Another　chance　this　good？〃　

〃Nothing　is　impossible。　Maybe　someday—〃　

〃We've　been　waiting　for　fifteen　hundred　years；　Stefan。　And　they've　only　gotten　stronger　with　the　
years。〃　Vladimir　paused　and　looked　at　me　again。　He　showed　no　surprise　when　he　saw　that　I　was　
watching　him；　too。　〃If　the　Volturi　win　this　conflict；　they　will　leave　with　more　power　than　they　came　with。　
With　every　conquest　they　add　to　their　strengths。　Think　of　what　that　newborn　alone　could　give　them〃—he　
jerked　his　chin　toward　me—〃and　she　is　barely　discovering　her　gifts。　And　the　earthmover。〃　Vladimir　
nodded　toward　Benjamin；　who　stiffened。　Almost　everyone　was　eavesdropping　on　the　Romanians　now；　
like　me。　〃With　their　witch　twins　they　have　no　need　of　the　illusionist　or　the　fire　touch。〃　His　eyes　moved　to　
Zafrina；　then　Kate。　

Stefan　looked　at　Edward。　〃Nor　is　the　mind　reader　is　exactly　necessary。　But　I　see　your　point。　Indeed；　
they　will　gain　much　if　they　win。〃　

〃More　than　we　can　afford　to　have　them　gain；　wouldn't　you　agree？〃　

Stefan　sighed。　〃I　th