the days of my life-第23部分

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e　refugees；　some　of　them　people　I　had　known　in　the　Transvaal；　who　came　with　their　tales　of　woe　and　ruin；　asking　for　shelter　which　we　were　unable　to　give。　Then；　to　our　dismay；　we　learned　that　on　the　very　day　of　our　arrival　Colley　had　moved　out　to　attack　the　Nek。
Two　days　later　we　heard　the　sound　of　firing；　and　getting　back　to　Hilldrop　I　received　the　following　note　from　Beaumont；　the　Resident　Magistrate　of　Newcastle；　who　was　an　old　friend　of　mine；　now　one　of　the　Natal　judges。
28_1_81。
I　am　sorry　to　say　the　troops　failed　this　morning　in　their　attack　on　the　“Nek”　and　had　to　retire　to　their　waggon　laager；　after　heavy　loss。　We　have　no　further　particulars。　I　do　not　think　that　Newcastle　is　in　any　danger。　The　signal　for　alarm　in　town　is　a　bell；　but　should　I　think　there　is　any　occasion　for　it　I　will　send　out　a　runner　to　warn　you。　I　wish　I　could　give　you　a　wele　under　better　circumstances；　but　we　must　make　the　best　of　things。　With　my　kindest　regards　to　Mrs。　Haggard；　upon　whom　I　hope　Mrs。　Beaumont　will　soon　be　able　to　call　。　。　。　。
W。　H。　Beaumont。
On　the　following　day；　January　30；　I　wrote　a　letter　to　my　father；　which　I　have　just　recovered　with　the　others。
You　will　see　from　the　address　that　we　have　reached　this　in　safety　after　a　rather　difficult　journey　owing　to　the　villainous　state　of　the　roads。　Old　Gibbs　shot　straight　out　of　the　carriage　twice　but　came　to　no　harm。　Louie　is　well　and　expressed　herself　very　pleased　with　the　place。　。　。　。　We　have　e　out　in　very　troublous　times。　When　for　various　reasons　we　made　up　our　minds　to　e　up…country；　Newcastle　was　looked　upon　as　one　of　the　safest　places　in　the　Colony；　owing　to　the　large　body　of　troops　concentrated　there。　Nobody　dreamed　that　Sir　George　Colley　could　be　mad　enough　to　try　and　force　the　passes　with　such　a　handful　of　men；　and　I　believe　he　was　again　and　again　warned　of　its　impossibility。　However；　the　day　we　got　here　he　started；　and　a　few　evenings　afterwards　we　heard　the　guns　going　on　the　mountains。　Next　came　the　intelligence　that　we　had　met　with　a　crushing　repulse。　It　appears　that　the　Boers　beat　the　troops　back　without　difficulty；　and　from　what　I　can　judge　it　will　take　5000　men　and　a　great　expenditure　of　life　to　force　their　position。　Nearly　all　the　officers　actually　engaged　were　killed；　including　poor　young　Elwes　（Norfolk）　whom　I　sat　next　to　at　dinner　the　other　night。　He　was　talking　to　me　about　you；　and　said　that　he　saw　you　the　other　day　at　Lynn　station　talking　to　the　barmaid。　It　is　all　very　sad。　I　do　not　think　that　this　place　is　in　danger；　but　still　these　are　anxious　times　for　us　all。　Our　men　have　retreated　into　laager　near　the　top　of　the　mountain；　and　the　Boers　are　in　laager　on　the　top。　When　the　reinforcements　e　there　will　be　a　fearful　engagement　and　many　officers　will　be　picked　off。　All　the　Boers　are　in　rifle　pits　behind　stone　walls。　I　think　they　will　have　to　send　more　troops。
We　have　got　all　our　things　up　here　safely　and　have　made　the　place　quite　pretty；　but　somehow　one　can　take　no　pleasure　in　anything　just　now　with　blood　being　shed　like　water　all　round。　Every　time　one　sees　a　Kaffir　runner　ing　to　the　house　one　feels　anxious　lest　he　should　be　the　announcer　of　some　fresh　evil。　。　。　。　We　will　send　you　a　longer　letter　in　a　mail　or　two；　but　just　now　we　are　head　over　ears　in　work　arranging　the　house；　etc。　And　now　good…bye。　With　best　love　from　us　both　to　all　at　home；
Believe　me　ever
Your　most　affectionate　and　dutiful　son；
H。　Rider　Haggard。
Such　was　our　house…warming　at　Hilldrop。
On　February　8th　about　midday　once　more　we　heard　the　guns　at　work　in　the　neighbourhood　of　the　hill　Scheins　Hoogte；　about　eleven　miles　from　our　farm。　The　firing　was　very　heavy；　that　of　the　field…pieces　being　almost　unceasing；　as　was　the　crash　and　roll　of　the　rifles。　At　dusk　it　died　away。　Some　Kaffirs　came　to　Hilldrop　and　told　us　that　a　force　of　British　soldiers　were　surrounded　on　a　hill　in　the　Ingogo　River；　that　they　were　fighting　well；　but　that　“their　arms　were　tired。”　The　Kaffirs　added　that　they　would　all　be　killed　during　the　night。
I　have　told　the　story　of　Ingogo　in　“Cetewayo　and　his　White　Neighbours；”　and　I　cannot　tell　it　again；　indeed；　I　have　no　heart　to　do　so。　It　was　a　miserable　and　an　aimless　business；　as　we　heard　of　it　from　the　lips　of　the　survivors。
After　the　Ingogo　defeat；　when　the　wounded　were　left　lying　on　the　ground　through　the　raging　African　night；　the　Boers　invaded　Natal。　One　night；　in　the　stillness；　I　heard　the　galloping　of　a　vast　number　of　horses。　Some　five　hundred　of　the　enemy　had　taken　possession　of　the　next　farm　to　our　own；　which　they　looted。　The　Boers　had　descended　into　Natal；　in　order　to　attack　the　reinforcements。　We　colonists　saw　a　chance；　a　desperate　chance　it　is　true；　of　cutting　them　off；　or　at　any　rate　of　inflicting　great　damager　upon　them。　A　number　of　us　congregated　at　Newcastle　with　the　idea　of　forming　a　volunteer　corps。　I　was　very　doubtful　whether　I　ought　to　join；　seeing　what　were　my　family　responsibilities。　I　remember　my　young　wife　ing　out　of　the　house　into　the　garden；　where　some　of　us　were　talking　over　the　matter；　and　saying；　“Don’t　consider　me。　Do　what　you　think　your　duty。　I’ll　take　my　chance。”
Never　did　I　admire　any　woman　more　than　I　did　her　upon　that　occasion。　In　all　the　circumstances　which　in　her　case　included　the　imminent　birth　of　a　child；　I　thought　and　think　her　conduct　in　this　matter；　and　indeed　throughout　all　these　troubles；　little　less　than　heroic。　But　of　such　stuff　is　she　made。
As　it　chanced；　however；　this　particular　adventure　came　to　nothing。　The　authorities　got　wind　of　it；　and　if　I　recollect　right；　my　friend　Beaumont　the　Magistrate　arrived　on　the　scene　with　a　message　from　the　Government　at　Maritzburg　or　elsewhere　to　the　effect　that　our　proposed　attack　on　the　Boers　was　forbidden；　and　that　if　we　insisted　on　carrying　it　out　we　should　be　repudiated；　that　our　wounded　would　be　left　to　lie　where　they　fell；　and　that　if　the　Boers　chose　to　shoot　any　of　us　whom　they　took　prisoner　no　remonstrance　would　be　made；　and　so　forth　and　so　forth。　It　was　a　peculiar　errand　that　he　had　to　perform；　but　the　British　lion　was　a　humble　animal　in　those　days；　its　tail　was　tucked　very　tightly　between　its　legs。　Also　the　authorities　were　naturally　anxious　to　prevent　the　war　from　spreading　to　the　civil　population。　So　our　proposed　coup　came　to　nothing。
Now　followed　a　period　of　great　alarm。　We　were　surrounded　by　the　enemy；　and　from　hour　to　hour　never　knew　on　whom　or　where　the　blow　might　fall。　Every　night　at　Hilldrop　we　placed　Kaffirs　on　the　surrounding　hills　that　they　might　warn　us　of　the　approach　of　the　enemy。　Well　and　faithfully　did　these　men　fulfil　their　duty；　indeed；　we　were　kept　advised　of　all　that　happened　through　the　Zulu　natives　dwelling　on　our　farm。　Also　my　old　body…servant；　Mazooku；　had　joined　me　on　my　return　to　Africa；　and　with　his　friends　night　and　day　guarded　us　as　a　mother　might　her　child。　Night　by　night；　sometimes　in　our　clothes；　we　slept　with　about　six　horses　saddled　in　the　stable；　loaded　rifles　leaning　against　the　beds；　and　revolvers　beneath　our　pillows。
Next　came　a　rumour；　apparently　well　substantiated；　that　the　expected　battle　between　the　invading　Boers　and　the　reinforcements　was　actually　to　take　place　on　the　following　day　at　a　drift　of　the　Ingagaan　River　upon　our　own　farm；　Rooipoint。　It　was　added；　probably　with　truth；　that　the　main　body　of　the　Boers　intended　to　occupy　my　house　and　the　hill　behind。　This　was　too　much；　so；　abandoning　everything　except　our　plate；　we　retreated　into　laager　at　Newcastle；　and　there　spent　several　very　unfortable　days。　For　some　reason　that　never　transpired；　however；　the　Boers　never　delivered　the　expected　attack。　It　was　the　one　military　mistake　that　they　made；　for　had　they　done　so　I　believe　they　would　have　cut　up　the　long　line　of　reinforcements；　and　subsequently　have　taken　the　town　of　Newcastle　without　much　difficulty。　On　the　contrary；　they　withdrew　to　the　Nek　as　silently　and　swiftly　as　they　had　e。
On　February　17th　the　reinforcements　marched　safely　into　Newcastle。　General　Wood；　however；　who　I　think　acpanied　them；　was　sent　down…country　by　Colley　to　bring　up　more　reinforcements　and　to　look　after　stores；　a　task　which　to　the　lay　mind　might　have　been　equally　well　performed　by　some　subordinate　officer。　I　should　add　it　was　said　that　by　mutual　agreement　of　these　two　generals　no　further　offensive　movement　was　to　take　place　until　Wood　returned　again。
If　so；　that　agreement　was　not　kept；　since　on　Sunday；　the　27th　of　February；　I　heard　the　sound　of　distant　guns；　which　most　of　the　others　attributed　to　thunder。　So　certain　was　I　on　the　point　that　some　of　us　rode　to　the　camp　to　make　inquiries。　On　our　way　through　the　town　we　learned　that　messages　were　pouring　down　the　wires　from　Mount　Prospect；　and　found　the　place　full　of　rumours。　At　the　camp；　however；　nothing　was　known；　indeed；　several　officers　to　whom　we　spoke　laughed　at　us。　It　would　almost　seem　as　though　Colley　had　undertaken　his　fatal　movement　without　advising　his　base。
I　cannot　tell　again　the　horrible　story　of　Majuba。　Afterwards　Colonel　Mitchell　told　me　the　tale　of　what　was　happening　at　Government　House　in　Maritzburg。　Into　the　office　where　I　used　to　sit　the　messages　poured　down　from　Majuba；　reporting　its　occupation　and　the　events　which　followed　as　they　occurred。　So　to　speak；　Majuba　was　in　that　room。　As　each　wire　arrived　it　was　his　duty　to　take　it　to　Lady　Colley　in　another　part　of　the　house。　At　length　came　a　pause　and　then　a　telegram　of　two　words：　“Colley　dead；”　and　then　—　nothing　more。
This　message　too　Colonel　Mitchel　must　take　to　the　chamber　where　the　wife　sat　waiting。　He　said　that　she　would　not　believe　it；　also　that　it　was　the　most　dreadful　moment　of　his　life。
In　one　of　the　letters　published　in　Butler’s　Life　of　Colley；　he　writes　to　his　wife　that　his　good　luck　was　so　great　and　so　continuous　that　it　caused　him　to　be　afraid。　Not　in　vain　was　he　afraid；　for　can　anything　be　more　tragic　than　this　man’s　history！　One　of　Wolseley’s　darlings；　every　advancement；　every　honour　was　heaped　upon　him。　At　last　Fortune　offered　to　him　a　soldier’s　supreme　opportunity；　and　he　used　it　thus！　Had　he　been　content　to　wait；　it　was　said　at　the　time　—　and　I　for　one　believe　—　that　the　Boers　would　have　melted　away。　Or；　if　they　did　not；　he　would　soon　have　found　himself　at　the　head　of　a　force　that　might　have　manded　victory。　He　would　have　bee　one　of　the　greatest　generals　in　the　Empire；　and　the　history　of　South　Africa　would　have　been　changed；　for　it　was　only　defeat　that　brought　about　the　Retrocession。　But　he　had　theories　and　he　lacked　patience。　Or　perhaps　Destiny　drove　him　on。　In　only　one　thing　was　it　kind　to　him。　It　did　not　leave　him　living　to　contemplate　his　own　ruin　and　the　dishonour　of　his　country。　Peace　be　to　him。
Now　I　will　return；　not　without　relief；　to　my　own　story；　which　is　best　set　out　in　such　letters　as　have　survived。　These　remain　clear　and　fixed；　about　them　can　gather　nothing　of　the　uncertainties　or　mists　of　time　and　memory。
In　one　written　by　my　wife　to　my　mother　from　Hilldrop　on　March　7；　1881；　she　says：
As　you　will　have　seen　from　the　papers；　we　are　not　altogether　in　an　enviable　position。　The　state　of　affairs　out　here　is　really　being　very　serious。　We　are　told　that　the　troops　now　in　camp　at　the　“Nek”　are　perfectly　panic…stricken　by　the　continual　defeats　they　have　sustained；　and　that　in　the　last　engagement；　when　poor　Sir　George　Colley　lost　his　life；　the　officers　had　the　greatest　difficulty　in　getting　their　men　to　stand。　Of　course；　as　everyone　says；　it　is　not　to　be　wondered　at。　Three　times　now　have　our　men　been　sent　out　in　small　bodies　to　face　double　their　numbers　and　have　simply　been　shot　down　like　sheep　without　being　able　to　make　any　effectual　resistance。　In　spite　of　the　Boers　being　rebels　one　cannot　help　admiring　the　way　in　which　they　are　conducting　this　affair。　Their　coolness　and　pluck　are　wonderful；　and　they　have　not　made　one　false　move　yet。　Add　to　this　the　fact　that　they　are　all　splendid　shots；　and　you　will　agree　that　it　is　no　mean　foe　with　whom　we　have　to　deal；　though　this　is　what　our　officers　and　men　would　not　at　first　believe。　Hence　these　sad　disasters。　Poor　Sir　George　Colley　has　paid　dearly　for　his　rashness；　but；　humanly　speaking；　it　was　far　better　for　him　to　die　as　he　did　fighting　bravely　at　the　head　of　his　men　than　to　live　with　a　lost　reputation。　Lost　it　decidedly　would　have　been；　for　popular　feeling　was　strong　against　him　even　before　this　last　affair。
And　now　for　a　few　words　about　ourselves。　。　。　。　The　farm　is　pretty　flourishing。　We　are　now　in　the　middle　of　haymaking；　and　the　lazy　Rider　is　routed　out　about　6　A。M。　every　fine　morning　to　go　and　cut。　He　looks　all　the　better　for　it；　in　fact　I　think　we　are　both　in　better　health　than　when　we　left　England。　We　have　lost　another　ostrich；　luckily　not　a　very　good　one；　but　the　other　birds　seem　to　be　doing　nicely　and　some　of　them　have　splendid　feathers　。　。　。　。
On　May　3；　1881；　I　wrote：
My　dearest　Mother；　—　。　。　。　I　do　not　know　how　to　thank　you　all　enough　for　the　loving　interest　you　have　all　shown　towards　us　in　our　trouble。　We　were　extremely　surprised　and；　speaking　from　a　personal　point　of　view；　delighted　to　get　a　telegram　from　Jack　＇my　brother　who　afterwards　became　Consul　at　Madagascar；　etc。　—　H。　R。　H。＇　the　other　morning　announcing　his　arrival　at　the　Cape。　We　thought　he　had　given　up　all　idea　of　ing。
Perhaps　you　will　hardly　have　been　surprised　at　my　letter　to　my　father　telling　him　that　we　are　seriously　debating　clearing　out　of　this　part　of　the　world。　I　am　sorry　to　say　that　every　day　that　has　elapsed　since　I　wrote　has　only　strengthened　my　conviction　that　henceforth　we　can　look　for　no　peace　or　security　in　South　Africa。
I　fear　our　property　will　suffer　from　this　business。　A　little　while　since　we　could　have　easily　got　3000　pounds　for　the　farm。　I　don’t　know　if　we　shall　be　able　to　do　so　now。　。　。　。　I　cannot　tell　you　how　sorry　I　shall　be　if　we　have　to　leave　this　place；　as　I　repeat　I　think　is　probable。　After　a　two　years’　struggle　we　were　just　beginning　to　do　well；　and　had　there　been　no　war　I　think　this　would　have　developed　into　a　very　thriving　concern。　Latterly　we　have　been　clearing　at　the　rate　of　over　2000　pounds　a　year　。　。　。　。
In　a　letter　to　my　mother；　dated　May　4；　1881；　my　wife　says：
The　High　missioner；　to　whom　we　have　let　the　house；　is　also　expected；　so　I　fear　Jack　will　arrive　to　find　us　in　rather　a　muddle。　We　shall　have　to　live　in　a　kind　of　picnic　fashion；　I　expect　for　about　a　fortnight；　as　our　house…room　will　consist　of　a　bedroom　and　two　tents！　—　one　of　which　we　shall　convert　into　a　kitchen　and　the　other　into　a　room　for　Jack。　Mr。　Cochrane　and　George　Blomefield　＇a　ward　of　my　father’s　who　had　bee　our　farming　partner。　—　H。　R。　H。＇　are　going　over　to　the　mill；　where　they　will　have　to　get　on　as　best　they　can。　Happily　the　rains　seem　to　have　e　to　an　end　for　this　season　and　we　are　now　having　bright　sunny　weather；　just　the　right　sort　for　camping　out。
After　talking　of　our　losses　from　the　horse…sickness；　she　adds：
The　mill　is　now　finished　and　ready　to　start。　They　made　the　first　trial　of　it　the　other　day；　with　rather　disastrous　results　to　poor　George　Blomefield。　He　went　up　a　ladder　and　meddled　with　one　of　the　safety…valves　（the　mill　not　going　quite　right）；　whereupon　a　tremendous　noise　was　heard　and　a　rush　of　steam　and　water　came　out。　All　the　lookers…on　fled　for　their　lives　thinking　something　fearful　had　happened；　and　Mr。　B。　in　his　hurry　slipped　his　foot　and　came　down　with　a　crash　upon　his　head；　happily　however　with