time enough for love-时间足够你爱(英文版)-第37部分

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derstand　it。　I'm　not　running　down　sex；　sex　is　swell；　sex　is　wonderful。　But　if　you　put　a　holy　aura　around　it…and　that　is　what　you　are　doing…sex　stops　being　fun　and　starts　being　neurotic。
　　
　　〃Stipulating　for　argument　that　I　'denied　Llita　this　boon；'　it　surely　did　not　leave　her　sex　starved。　At　worst　I　could　possibly　have　miffed　her　a　little。　But　she　was　not　deprived。　Llita　was　a　hearty　wench；　and　having　to　work　too　hard　was　the　only　thing　that　ever　kept　her　off　her　back…or　on　top；　or　standing？up；　or　kneeling；　or　swinging　from　the　chandeliers…and　I　did　make　it　possible　for　them　to　have　more　time　for　it。　Joe　and　Llita　were　simple　souls；　uninhibited　and　uncorrupted；　and　of　the　four　major　interests　of　mankind…war；　money；　politics；　and　sex…they　were　interested　only　in　sex　and　money。　With　some　guidance　from　me　they　got　plenty　of　both。
　　
　　〃Shucks；　it　can't　matter　now　to　say　that；　after　they　learned　contraception　techniques…almost　as　perfect　then　as　now；　and　which　I　taught　them　but　had　no　reason　to　mention…they　had　no　superstitions　or　taboos　to　keep　them　from　branching　out　for　fun；　and　their　pair…bonding　was　so　strong　as　not　to　be　endangered　thereby。　They　were　innocent　hedonists；　and　if　Llita　failed　to　trip　one　tired　old　spaceman；　she　did　trip　plenty　of　others。　And　so　did　Joe。　They　had　fun…plus　the　deep　happiness　of　as　perfect　a　marriage　as　I　have　ever　observed。〃
　　
　　〃I　am　most　pleased　to　hear　it；〃　Minerva　answered。　〃Very　well；　Lazarus；　I　withdraw　my　questions　and　refrain　from　speculations　about　Mrs。　Long　and　that　'tired　old　spaceman'…even　though　your　statements　show　that　you　were　neither　tired；　nor　old；　nor　a　spaceman　at　that　time。　You　mentioned　'four　major　interests　of　mankind'…but　did　not　include　science　and　art。〃
　　
　　〃I　didn't　leave　them　out　through　forgetting　them；　Minerva。　Science　and　art　are　occupations　of　a　very　small　minority…a　small　percentage　even　of　those　people　who　claim　to　be　scientists　or　artists。　But　you　know　that；　you　were　simply　changing　the　aubject。〃
　　
　　〃Was　I；　Lazarus？〃
　　
　　〃Pig　whistle；　dear。　You　know　the　parable　of　the　Little　Mermaid。　Are　you　prepared　to　pay　the　price　she　paid？　You　can；　you　know。〃　He　added；　〃Don't　pretend　you　don't　know　what　I　mean。〃
　　
　　The　puter　sighed。　〃I　think　the　question　is　'may；'　not　'can。'　A　wheelbarrow　has　no　rights。　Nor　do　I。〃
　　
　　〃You're　dodging；　dear。　'Rights'　is　a　fictional　abstraction。　No　one　has　'rights；'　neither　machines　nor　flesh…and…blood。　Persons…both　sorts！…have　opportunities；　not　rights；　which　they　use；　or　do　not　use。　All　you　have　going　for　you　is　that　you　are　the　strong…right　arm　of　the　boss　of　this　pla　。　。　plus　the　friendship　of　an　old　man　who　enjoys　very　special　privileges　for　a　most　illogical　reason　but　does　not　hesitate　to　take　advantage　of　those　privileges　。　。　plus；　stored　in　your~memories　in　Dora's　number…two　hold；　all　the　biological　and　geic　data　of　Secundu　Howard　Clinic…best　such　library　in　the　Galaxy；　possibly；　and　certainly　best　for　human　biology。　But　what　I　asked　was：　Will　you　pay　the　price？　Having　your　mental　processes　slowed　down　at　least　a　million　to　one；　data　storage　reduced　by　some　unknown…but　large…factor；　some　chance…again　I　can't　say…of　failure　in　achieving　transmigration　。　。　and　always　the　certainty　of　death　as　the　ultimate　oute…death　a　machine　need　never　know。　You　know　that　you　can　outlive　the　human　race。　Immortal。〃
　　
　　〃I　would　not　choose　to　outlive　my　makers；　Lazarus。〃
　　
　　〃So？　You　say　that　tonight；　dear…but　would　you　say　it　a　trillion　years　from　now？　Minerva；　my　beloved　friend…my　only　friend　with　whom　I　can　be　truthful…I　feel　certain　that　you　have　been　toying　with　this　idea　ever　since　the　Clinic's　files　were　made　part　of　your　memories。　But；　even　with　your　speed　of　thought；　I　suspect　that　you　do　not　have　the　experience…　the　flesh…and…blood　experience…with　which　to　think　it　through。　If　you　choose　to　risk　this；　you　cannot　be　both　machine　and　flesh…and…blood。　Oh；　certainly　we　have　mixes…machines　with　human　brains；　and　flesh…and…blood　bodies　controlled　by　puters。　But　what　you　want　is　to　be　a　woman。　Right？　True　or　false？〃
　　
　　〃Would　that　I　were　a　woman；　Lazarus！〃
　　
　　〃So　I　knew；　dear。　And　we　both　know　why。　But…think　about　this！…even　if　you　manage　this　risky　change…and　I　don't　know　what　the　risks　are；　I　am　just　an　old　shipmaster；　retired　country　doctor；　obsolete　engineer；　you　are　the　one　with　all　the　data　my　race　has　accumulated　about　such　things…suppose　you　manage　it　。　。　and　find　that　Ira　will　not　take　you　to　wife？〃
　　
　　The　puter　hesitated　a　full　millisecond。　〃Lazarus；　if　Ira　refuses　me…refuses　me　utterly；　he　need　not　marry　me…would　you　the？　be　as　difficult　with　me　as　you　seem　to　have　been　with　Llita？　Or　would　you　teach　me　'Eros'？〃
　　
　　Lazarus　looked　astounded；　then　guffaw鑔。　〃Touch？　You　ranged　me；　girl…you　hulled　me　between　wind　and　water！　All　right；　dear；　a　solemn　promise：　If　you　do　this　。　。　and　Ira　won't　bed　you；　I'll　take　you　to　bed　myself　and　do　my　best　to　wear　you　out！　Or　the　other　way　around　more　likely；　a　male　hardly　ever　outlasts　a　female。　Okay；　dear；　I'm　the　second　team…and　I'll　stick　around　till　we　know　the　oute。〃
　　
　　He　chuckled。　〃My　sweet；　I　am　almost　tempted　to　hope　that　Ira　turns　chicken…were　it　not　you　want　him　so　badly。　Let's　discuss　practical　aspects。　Can　you　tell　me　what　it　will　take？〃
　　
　　〃Only　in　theory；　Lazarus；　my　memories　do　not　show　that　it　has　ever　been　attempted。　But　it　would　be　similar　to　a　total　clone　rejuvenation　in　which　puter　help　is　used　to　transfer　the　memories　of　the　old　brain　into　its　blank　twin…in　the　clone　body。　In　another　way　it　resembles　what　I　do　when　I　move　the　'me'　here　in　the　Palace　into　my　new　'me'　in　Dora's　hold。〃
　　
　　〃Minerva；　I　suspect　that　it　is　more　difficult…and　far　more　risky…than　either　one。　Different　time　rates；　dear。　Machine　to　machine　you　do　in　a　split　second。　But　that　total…clone　job　takes；　I　think；　a　minimum　of　two　years…rush　it；　and　you　wind　up　with　an　old　dead　body　and　a　new　idiot。　No？〃
　　
　　〃There　have　been　such　cases；　Lazarus。　But　not　in　the　past　two　centuries。〃
　　
　　〃Well　。　。　my　opinion　isn't　worth　anything。　You　must　discuss　it　with　an　expert…and　it　must　be　one　you　can　trust。　Ishtar；　perhaps；　although　she　may　not　be　the　expert　you　need。〃
　　
　　〃Lazarus；　there　is　no　expert　in　this　venture；　it　has　never　been　done。　Ishtar　can　be　trusted；　I　have　discussed　it　with　her。〃
　　
　　〃What　does　she　say？〃
　　
　　〃That　she　does　not　know　whether　it　can　be　done　or　not…in　practice；　that　is；　with　success　on　…the　first　attempt。　But　she　is　deeply　sympathetic…she　is　a　woman！…and　is　thinking　of　ways　to　make　it　less　hazardous。　She　says　that　it　will　require　the　finest　of　gene　surgory；　plus　facilities　for　full…adult　cloning。〃
　　
　　〃I　guess　I　missed　something。　Starting　a　clone　doesn't　take　a　topflight　gene　surgeon；　I've　done　it　myself。　Then；　if　you　plant　the　clone　in　utero　and　get　it　to　take；　a　host…mother　will　hand　you　a　baby　in　nine　months。　Safer。　Easier。〃
　　
　　〃But；　Lazarus；　I　can't　move　me　into　a　baby's　skull。　No　room！〃
　　
　　〃Urn。　Yes。　True。〃
　　
　　〃Even　with　a　full…size　adult　brain　I　will　have　to　choose　most　carefully　what　to　take　and　what　to　leave　behind。　Nor　can　I　be　a　simple　clone：　I　must　be　a　posite。〃
　　
　　〃Mmm…　I'm　not　sharp　tonight。　No；　you　would　not　want　to　be　Ishtar's　twin；　for　example；　with　your　own　personality　and　selected　knowledge　imprinted　on　what　would　have　been　her　brain。　Hm…　Dear；　may　I　offer　you　my　twelfth　chromosome　pair？〃
　　
　　〃Lazarus！〃
　　
　　〃Don't　cry；　girl；　you'll　get　your　gears　all　rusty。　I　don't　know　that　there's　anything　to　the　theory　that　reinforcement　in　a　gene　plex　in　that　chromosome　pair　controls　longevity。　Even　if　it　does；　I　might　be　handing　you　a　run…down　clock。　You　might　be　better　off　using　Ira's　twelfth。〃
　　
　　〃No。　Nothing　from　Ira。〃
　　
　　〃Do　you　expect　to　do　this　without　his　knowing　it？〃　Lazarus　then　added　thoughtfully；　〃Oh…　Children；　eh？〃
　　
　　The　puter　did　not　answer。
　　
　　Lazarus　said　gently；　〃Should　have　known　you　meant　to　go　whole　hog。　Then　you　won't　want　to　borrow　from　Hamadryad；　either；　she's　his　daughter。　Unless　geic　charting　shows　that　we　can　avoid　any　hazard。　Mmm…Dear；　you　want　as　mixed　a　posite　as　can　be　managed；　do　you　not？　So　that　your　clone　will　be　a　unique　flesh…and…blood；　not　too　closely　copied　from　any　other　zygote。　Twenty…three　parents　perhaps？　Is　that　what　you　had　in　mind？〃
　　
　　〃I　think　that　would　be　best；　Lazarus；　since　that　could　be　done　without　separating　paired　chromosomes…simpler　surgery　and　no　possibility　of　introducing　an　unexpected　reinforcement。　If　it　were　possible　to　find　twenty…three…satisfactory……donors　who　were　willing。〃
　　
　　〃Who　said　they　had　to　be　willing？　We'll　steal　'em；　dear。　Nobody　owns　his　genes；　he's　merely　~their　custodian。　They　are　passed　to　him　willy…nilly　in　the　meiotic　dance；　he　passes　them　along　to　others　through　the　same　blind　chances。　There　must　be　many　thousands　of　tissue　cultures　over　at　the　Clinic；　each　with　many　thousands　of　cells…so　who's　to　know　or　care　if　we　borrow　one　cell　from　each　of　twenty…three　cultures？…if　we're　slick　about　it。　Don't　fret　about　ethics；　it's　like　stealing　twentythree　grains　of　sand　from　a　large　'beach。
　　
　　〃I　don't　give　a　hoot　about　the　Clinic's　rules；　I　suspect　that　we'll　be　hip…deep　in　proscribed　techniques　all　through　this。　Hmm…　Those　Clinic　records　you've　stored　in　Dora：　Do　they　include　geic　charting　of　tissue　cultures　on　hand？　Case　histories　of　their　donor…consigners？〃
　　
　　〃Yes；　Lazarus。　Although　personal　records　are　confidential。〃
　　
　　〃Who　cares？　Ishtar　said　you　could　study　both　'confidential'and　'secret'…as　long　as　you　kept　it　to　yourself。　So　pick　the　twenty…three　parents　you　want…while　I　worry　about　how　to　steal　them。　Stealing　is　more　in　my　line；　anyhow。　I　don't　know　what　criteria　you　will　use；　but　I　offer　one　mild　suggestion：　If　the　selection　you　have　to　choose　from　permits　it；　each　of　your　parents　should　be　healthy　in　all　respects　and　as　brainy　as　possible…by　their　established　records　in　life　as　shown　by　their　case　histories；　not　alone　by　their　geic　charts。〃　Lazarus　thought　about　it。　〃That　mythical　time　machine　I　mentioned　earlier　would　be　a　convenience。　I　would　like　to　look　over　all　twenty…three　after　you　pick　them…and　some　of　them　may　be　dead。　The　donors　I　mean；　not　the　tissue　cultures。〃
　　
　　〃Lazarus；　if　other　characteristics　are　satisfactory；　is　there　any　reason　not　to　select　as　well　for　physical　appearance？〃
　　
　　〃Why　worry　about　it；　dear？　Ira　is　not　the　sort　of　man　to　insist　on　Helen　of　Troy。〃
　　
　　〃No；　I　don't　think　he　is。　But　I　want　to　be　tall…tall　as　Ishtar…and　slender；　with　small　breasts。　And　straight；　brown　hair。〃
　　
　　〃Minerva　。　。　why？〃
　　
　　〃Because　that　is　the　way　I　look。　You　said　so。　You　did　say　so！〃
　　
　　Lazarus　blinked　at　the　gloom　and　hummed　softly：　〃She's　a　good　sport　。　。　I　can　spring　her　。　。　。for　a　fin　or　even　a　sawbuck〃…then　said　sharply：　〃Minerva；　you're　a　crazy；　mixed…up　machine；　lithe　best　bination　of　traits　results　in　your　being　a　short；　plump　blonde　with　big　tits…buy　it！　Don't　worry　about　an　old　man's　fantasies。　I'm　sorry　I　mentioned　that　imaginary　description。〃
　　
　　〃But；　Lazarus；　I　said　'if　other　characteristics　are　satisfactory…To　get　that　physical　appearance　I　need　search　only　with　respect　to　three　autosome　pairs；　there　is　no　conflict；　the　search　is　already　plete　within　all　parameters　we　have　discussed　thus　far。　And　that　is　me…is　'F？…no；　me！　I've　known　it　since　you　told　me。　But…from　things　you　have　said…and　others　that　you　did　not　say…I　feel　that　I　need　your　permission　to　look　like　that。〃
　　
　　The　old　man　lowered　his　head　and　covered　his　face。　Then　he　looked　up。　〃Go　ahead；　dear…look　like　her。　I　mean　'look　like　yourself。'　Like　your　mind's…eye　picture　of　yourself。　You'll　find　it　hard　enough　to　learn　to　be　flesh…and…blood　without　the　added　handicap　of　not　looking　the　way　you　feel　you　ought　to　look。〃
　　
　　〃Thank　you；　Lazarus。〃
　　
　　〃There　will　be　problems；　dear；　even　if　everything　goes　well。　For　example；　has　it　occurred　to　you　that　you　will　have　to　learn　to　talk　all　over　again？　Even　learn　to　see　and　to　hear？　When　you　move　yourself　over　into　your　clone　body　and　leave　nothing　behind　but　a　puter；　you　won't　suddenly　be　an　adult。　Instead；　you'll　be　a　weird　sort　of　baby　in　an　adult　body；　with　the　world　a　buzzing　confusion　around　you　and　totally　strange。　You　may　find　it　frightening。　I'll　be　there；　I　promise　I　will　be　there　and　holding　your　hand。　But　you　won't　know　me；　your　new　eyes　won't　abstract　a　gestalt　of　me　until　you　learn　to　use　them。　You　won't　understand　a　word　I　say…did　you　realize　that？〃
　　
　　〃I　do　realize　it；　Lazarus。　I　did　know　it；　I　have　given　it　much　thought。　Getting　into　my　new　body…without　destroying　the　puter　that　I　am　now；　which　I　must　not；　as　Ira　will　need　it　and　so　will　Ishtar…making　that　transition　is　the　most　critical　phase。　But　if　I　make　it；　I　promise　you　that　I　will　not　be　frightened　by　the　strangeness。　Because　I　know　that　I　will？have　loving　friends　around　me；　cherishing　me；　keeping　me　alive；　not　letting　me　hurt　myself　nor　be　hurt…while　I'm　learning　to　be　a　flesh…and…blood。〃
　　
　　〃That　you　will　have；　dear。〃
　　
　　〃I　know　and　I　am　not　worried。　So　don't　you　worry；　beloved　Lazarus…don't　think　of　it　now。　Why　did　you　say；　earlier；　'that　mythical　time　machine'？〃
　　
　　〃Eh？　How　would　you　describe　it？〃
　　
　　〃I　would　describe　it　as　an　'unrealized　potential。'　But　'mythical'　implies　impossibility。〃
　　
　　〃Eh？　Keep　talking！〃
　　
　　第29节
　　
　　〃Lazarus；　I　learned　from　Dora；　when　she　taught　me　the　mathematics　of　n…space　astrogation；　that　every　jump　transition　involves　a　decision　as　to　when　to　reenter　the　time　axis。〃
　　
　　〃Yes；　certainly。　Since　you　are　cut　off　from　the　framework　of　the　speed…of…light　you　could　go　as　many　years　astray　as　there　are　light…years　involved　in　the　jump。　But　that's　not　a　time　machine。〃
　　
　　〃It　isn't？〃
　　
　　〃Hmm…　It's　a　disturbing　thought…it　feels　like　intentionally　making　a　bad　landing。　I　wish　Andy　Libby　were　here。　Minerva；　why　didn't　you　mention　this　before？〃
　　
　　〃Should　I　have　put　it　into　your　Zwicky　Box？　You　turned　down　time　travel　forward　。　。　and　I　ruled　out　time　travel　into　the　past　because　you　said　you　wanted　something　new。〃
　　
　　INTERMISSION
　　
　　Excerpts　from　the　Notebooks　of　Lazarus　Long
　　
　　Always；store　beer　in　a　dark　place。
　　
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　　By　the　data　to　date；　there　is　only　one　animal　in　the　Galaxy　dangerous　to　man…man　himself。　So　he　must　supply　his　own　indispensable　petition。　He　has　no　enemy　to　help　him。
　　
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　　Men　are　more　sentimental　than　women。　It　blurs　their　thinking。
　　
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　　Certainly　the　game　is　rigged。　Don't　let　that　stop　you；　if　you　don't　bet；　you　can't　win。
　　
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　　Any　priest　or　shaman　must　be　presumed　guilty　until　proved　innocent。
　　
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　　Always　listen　to　experts。　They'll　tell　you　what　can't　be　done；　snd　why。　Then　do　it。
　　
　　S
　　
　　Get　a　shot　off　fast。　This　upsets　him　long　enough　to　let　you　make　your　second　shot　perfect。
　　
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　　There　is　no　conclusive　evidence　of　life　after　death。　But　here　is　no　evidence　of　any　sort　against　it。　Soon　…enough　you　will　know。　So　why　fret　about