the notebook-恋恋笔记本(英文版)-第8部分

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A　pause。　Then　she　said：　“Tell　me；　Noah；　what　do　you　remember　most　from　the　summer　we　spent　together？”

“All　of　it。”

“Anything　in　particular？”

“No；”　he　said。

“You　don’t　remember？”

He　answered　quietly。　“No；　it’s　not　that。　It’s　not　what　you’re　thinking。　I　was　serious　when　I　said　‘all　of　it。’　I　can　remember　every　moment　we　were　together；　and　in　each　of　them　there　was　something　wonderful。　I　can’t　pick　any　one　time　that　meant　more　than　any　other。　The　entire　summer　was　perfect；　the　kind　of　summer　everyone　should　have。　How　could　I　pick　one　moment　over　another？

“Poets　often　describe　love　as　an　emotion　that　we　can’t　control；　one　that　overwhelms　logic　and　mon　sense。　That’s　what　it　was　like　for　me。　I　didn’t　plan　on　falling　in　love　with　you；　and　I　doubt　if　you　planned　on　falling　in　love　with　me。　But　once　we　met；　it　was　clear　that　neither　of　us　could　control　what　was　happening　to　us。　We　fell　in　love；　despite　our　differences；　and　once　we　did；　something　rare　and　beautiful　was　created。　For　me；　love　like　that　has　happened　only　once；　and　that’s　why　every　minute　we　spent　together　has　been　seared　in　my　memory。　I’ll　never　forget　a　single　moment　of　it。”

Allie　stared　at　him。　No　one　had　ever　said　anything　like　that　to　her　before。　Ever。　She　didn’t　know　what　to　say　and　stayed　silent；　her　face　hot。

“I’m　sorry　if　I　made　you　feel　unfortable；　Allie。　I　didn’t　mean　to。　But　that　summer　has　stayed　with　me　and　probably　always　will。　I　know　it　can’t　be　the　same　between　us；　but　that　doesn’t　change　the　way　I　felt　about　you　then。”

“It　didn’t　make　me　unfortable。　Noah　。。。　It’s　just　that　I　don’t　ever　hear　things　like　that。　What　you　said　was　beautiful。　It　takes　a　poet　to　talk　the　way　you　do。　and　like　I　said；　you’re　the　only　poet　I’ve　ever　met。”

Peaceful　silence　descended　on　them。　An　osprey　cried　somewhere　in　the　distance。　The　paddle　moved　rhythmically；　causing　ripples　that　rocked　the　boat　ever　so　slightly。　The　breeze　had　stopped；　and　the　clouds　grew　blacker　as　the　canoe　moved　onwards。

Allie　noticed　it　all；　every　sound；　every　thought。　Her　senses　had　e　alive；　invigorating　her；　and　she　felt　strangely　satisfied　that　she’d　e；　pleased　that　Noah　had　turned　into　the　type　of　man　she’d　thought　he　would；　pleased　that　she　would　live　for　ever　with　that　knowledge。　She　had　seen　too　many　men　in　the　past　few　years　destroyed　by　war；　or　time；　or　even　money。　It　took　strength　to　hold　on　to　inner　passion；　and　Noah　had　done　that。

This　was　a　worker’s　world；　not　a　poet’s；　and　people　would　have　a　hard　time　understanding　Noah。　Who　did　she　know　in　Raleigh　who　took　time　off　to　fix　a　house？　Or　read　Whitman　or　Eliot？　Or　hunt　at　dawn　from　the　bow　of　a　canoe？　These　weren’t　the　things　that　drove　society；　but　she　felt　they　made　living　worth　while。

To　her　it　was　the　same　with　art；　though　she　had　realized　it　only　upon　ing　here。　Or　rather；　remembered　it。　She　had　known　it　once　before；　and　again　she　cursed　herself　for　forgetting　something　as　important　as　creating　beauty。　Painting　was　what　she　was　meant　to　do；　she　was　sure　of　that　now。　She　was　going　to　give　it　another　shot；　no　matter　what　anyone　said。

Would　Lon　encourage　her　painting？　She　remembered　showing　him　one　of　her　paintings　a　couple　of　months　after　they　had　first　started　going　out。　It　was　abstract；　meant　to　inspire　thought。　Lon　had　stared　at　it；　and　then　had　asked　her　what　it　was　supposed　to　he；

She　knew　she　wasn’t　being　pletely　fair。　She　loved　Lou；　and　always　had；　for　other　reasons。　Lon　was　a　good　man；　the　kind　of　man　she’d　always　known　she　would　marry。　With　him　there　would　be　no　surprises；　and　‘there　was　fort　in　knowing　what　the　future　would　bring。　He　would　be　a　kind　husband　and　she　would　be　a　good　wife。　She　would　have　a　Home　near　friends　and　family；　children；　a　respectable　place　in　society。　It　was　the　kind　of　life　she’d　always　expected　to　live。　And　though　she　wouldn’t　describe　theirs　as　a　passionate　relationship；　she　had　convinced　herself　long　ago　that　this　wasn’t　necessary　for　fulfilment。　Passion　would　fade　in　time　and　things　like　panionship　and　patibility　would　take　its　place。　She　and　Lon　had　this；　and　she　had　assumed　this　was　all　she　needed。

But　now；　as　she　watched　Noah　roption。　He　exuded　Sexuality　in　everything　he　did；　everything　he　was；　and　she　caught　herself　thinking　about　him　in　a　way　that　an　engaged　woman　shouldn’t。　She　tried　not　to　stare；　but　the　easy　way　he　moved　his　body　made　it　hard　to　keep　her　eyes　from　him　for　long。

“Here　we　are；”　Noah　said　as　he　guided　the　canoe　towards　some　trees　near　the　bank。

Allie　looked　around；　not　seeing　anything。　“Where　is　it？”

“Here；”　he　said　again；　pointing　the　canoe　at　a　fallen　tree　that　was　almost　pletely　obscuring　an　opening。

He　guided　the　canoe　around　the　tree；　and　both　of　them　had　to　lower　their　heads　to　keep　from　bumping　them。

“Close　your　eyes；”　he　whispered；　and　Allie　did；　bringing　her　hands　to　her　face。　She　felt　the　movement　of　the　canoe　as　he　propelled　it　forwards；　away　from　the　pull　of　the　creek。

“Okay。”　he　finally　said　after　he’d　stopped　paddling。　“You　can　open　them　now。”

THEY　SAT　in　the　middle　of　a　small　lake　fed　by　the　waters　of　Brices　Creek。　It　wasn’t　large；　maybe　a　hundred　yards　across；　and　she　was　surprised　at　how　invisible　it　had　been　just　moments　before。

It　was　spectacular。　Tundra　swan　and　Canada　geese　literally　surrounded　them。　Thousands　of　them。　Birds　floating　so　close　together　in　some　places　that　she　couldn’t　see　the　water。　From　a　distance；　the　groups　of　swans　looked　almost　like　icebergs。

“Oh。　Noah；”　she　finally　said　softly；　“it’s　beautiful。”

They　sat　in　silence　for　a　long　while；　watching　the　birds。　Noah　pointed　out　a　group　of　chicks；　recently　hatched；　following　a　pack　of　geese　near　the　shore；　struggling　to　keep　up。

The　air　was　filled　with　honking　and　chirping　as　Noah　moved　the　canoe　through　the　water。　The　birds　ignored　them　for　the　most　part。　The　only　ones　that　seemed　bothered　were　those　forced　to　move　when　the　canoe　approached　them。　Allie　reached　out　to　touch　the　closest　ones　and　felt　their　feathers　ruffling　under　her　fingers。

Noah　took　out　the　bread　he’d　brought　in　his　bag　and　handed　it　to　Allie。　She　scattered　it；　favouring　the　little　ones；　laughing　and　smiling　as　they　swam　in　circles　looking　for　food。

They　stayed　until　thunder　boomed　in　the　distance—faint　hut　powerful—and　both　of　them　knew　it　was　time　to　leave。

Noah　paddled　the　canoe　hack　to　the　main　creek。　She　was　still　amazed　by　what　she　had　seen。

“Noah；　what　are　they　doing　here？”

“I　don’t　know。　I　know　the　swans　from　up　north　migrate　to　Lake　Matamuskeet　every　winter；　hut　I　guess　they　came　here　this　time。　I　don’t　know　why。　Maybe　the　early　blizzard　had　something　to　do　with　it。　Maybe　they　got　off　track　or　something。　They’ll　find　their　way　back；　though。　They’re　driven　by　instinct；　and　this　isn’t　their　place。　Some　of　the　geese　may　winter　here；　hut　the　swans　will　go　back　to　Matamuskeet。”

Noah　paddled　hard　as　dark　clouds　rolled　directly　overhead。　Soon　rain　began　to　fall；　a　light　sprinkle　at　first；　then　gradually　harder。　Lightning　。　。　。　a　pause　。　。　。　then　thunder　again。　A　little　louder　now。　Maybe　six　or　seven　miles　away。　More　rain　as　Noah　began　to　paddle　even　harder；　his　muscles　tightening　with　every　stroke。

Thicker　drops　now；　falling　hard。　Noah　rowing。。。　getting　wet…　cursing　to　himself　。。。　losing　to　Mother　Nature。

Allie　watched　the　rain　fall　diagonally　from　the　sky　as　it　rode　on　westerly　winds　that　whistled　over　the　trees。　The　sky　darkened　a　little　more。　She　leaned　her　head　back　for　a　moment　to　let　it　hit　her　face。　She　ran　her　hands　through　her　hair；　feeling　its　wetness。　It　felt　wonderful；　she　felt　wonderful。　Even　through　the　rain　she　could　hear　him　breathing　hard；　and　the　sound　aroused　her　sexually　in　a　way　she　hadn’t　felt　in　years。

A　cloud　burst　directly　above　them　and　the　rain　began　to　e　down　harder　than　she’d　ever　seen　it。　Allie　looked　upwards　and　laughed；　giving　up　any　attempt　at　keeping　dry；　making　Noah　feel　better。　Even　though　she’d　made　the　decision　to　e；　he　doubted　that　she’d　expected　to　be　caught　in　a　storm　like　this。

　They　reached　the　dock　a　couple　of　minutes　later；　and　Noah　moved　in　close　enough　for　Allie　to　step　out。　He　helped　her　up；　then　got　out　himself　and　dragged　the　canoe　up　the　bank；　tying　it　to　the　jetty。

As　he　was　tying　the　canoe；　he　looked　up　at　Allie　and　stopped　breathing　for　just　a　second。　She　was　incredibly　beautiful　as　she　waited；　watching　him。　She　didn’t　try　to　keep　dry　or　hide　herself；　and　he　could　see　the　outline　of　her　breasts　as　they　pressed　through　the　fabric　of　the　dress　that　clung　tightly　to　her　body。　He　quickly　turned　away；　embarrassed。　When　he　finished　and　stood；　Allie　took　his　hands　in　hers；　surprising　him。　Despite　the　downpour；　they　didn’t　rush　towards　the　house；　and　Noah　imagined　what　it　would　be　like　to　spend　the　night　with　her。

Allie　felt　the　warmth　in　his　hands　and　wondered　what　it　would　be　like　to　have　them　touch　her　body；　lingering　slowly　across　her　skin。　Just　thinking　about　it　made　her　take　a　deep　breath。　She　realized　then　that　something　had　changed。　And　although　she　couldn’t　pinpoint　the　exact　time—yesterday　after　dinner；　or　this　afternoon　in　the　canoe；　or　when　they　saw　the　swans；　or　maybe　even　now　as　they　walked　holding　hands—she　knew　that　she　had　fallen　in　love　with　Noah　Taylor　Calhoun　again；　and　that　maybe；　just　maybe；　she　had　never　stopped。

THERE　WAS　no　uneasiness　between　them　as　they　reached　the　door　and　went　inside；　pausing　in　the　hall；　clothes　dripping。

‘I　think　I　can　find　something　here　for　you　so　you　can　get　out　of　those　clothes。　It　might　be　a　little　big；　but　it’s　warm。”

“Anything；”　she　said。

“I’ll　be　back　in　a　second。”

Noah　slipped　off　his　boots；　then　ran　up　the　stairs；　descending　a　minute　later。　He　had　a　pair　of　cotton　trousers　and　a　long…sleeved　shin　under　one　arm　and　some　jeans　with　a　blue　shirt　in　the　other。

“Here；’　he　said；　handing　her　the　cotton　trousers　and　shirt。　“You　can　change　in　the　bedroom　upstairs。　There’s　a　bathroom　and　towel　up　there　too　if　you　want　to　shower。”

She　thanked　him　with　a　smile　and　went　upstairs；　feeling　his　eyes　on　her　as　she　walked。　She　entered　the　bedroom　and　closed　the　door；　then　set　the　trousers　and　shirt　on　his　bed　and　peeled　everything　off。　Naked；　she　went　to　his　closet　and　found　a　hanger；　put　her　dress；　bra　and　panties　on　it；　and　then　went　to　hang　it　in　the　bathroom　so　it　wouldn’t　drip　on　the　hardwood　floor。　She　felt　a　secret　thrill　at　being　naked　in　the　same　room　he　slept　in。

She　didn’t　want　to　shower　after　being　in　the　rain。　She　liked　the　soft　feeling　on　her　skin。　She　slipped　on　his　clothes　before　looking　at　herself　in　the　mirror。　The　trousers　were　big；　but　tucking　in　the　shin　helped；　and　she　rolled　up　the　bottoms　just　a　little　so　they　wouldn’t　drag。　The　neck　was　torn　a　little；　but　she　liked　the　way　it　looked　on　her　anyway。　She　pulled　the　sleeves　up　almost　to　the　elbows；　went　to　the　chest　of　drawers　and　slipped　on　some　socks；　then　went　to　the　bathroom　to　find　a　hairbrush。

She　brushed　her　wet　hair　just　enough　to　get　out　the　tangles；　letting　it　rest　on　her　shoulders。　Looking　in　the　mirror；　she　wished　she　had　brought　a　clasp　or　a　couple　of　hairpins。　And　a　little　more　mascara。　Her　eyes　still　had　a　little　of　what　she’d　put　on　earlier；　and　she　touched　up　with　a　flannel；　doing　the　best　she　could。

When　she　was　finished；　she　checked　herself　in　the　mirror；　feeling　pretty　despite　everything；　and　went　back　downstairs。

Noah　was　in　the　living　room　squatting　before　a　fire；　doing　his　best　to　coax　it　to　life。　He　didn’t　see　her　e　in；　and　she　watched　him　as　he　worked。　He　had　changed　his　clothes　as　well　and　looked　good：　his　shoulders　broad；　wet　hair　hanging　just　over　his　collar。

He　poked　the　fire；　moving　the　logs；　and　added　some　more　kindling。　Allie　leaned　against　the　doorjamb；　one　leg　crossed　over　the　other；　and　continued　to　watch　him。　In　a　few　minutes　the　fire　had　turned　to　flames；　even　and　steady。　He　turned　to　the　side　to　straighten　the　remaining　unused　logs　and　caught　a　glimpse　of　her　out　of　the　corner　of　his　eye。　He　looked　up　quickly。

Even　in　his　clothes　she　looked　beautiful。　After　a　moment　he　shyly　went　back　to　stacking　the　logs。

“I　didn’t　hear　you　e　in。”　he　said；　trying　to　sound　casual。　“How　long　have　you　been　standing　there？”

“A　couple　of　minutes。”

Noah　brushed　his　hands　on　his　jeans；　then　pointed　to　the　kitchen。　“Can　I　get　you　some　tea？　I　started　the　water　while　you　were　upstairs。”　Small　talk；　anything　to　keep　his　mind　clear。　But　damn；　the　way　she　looked。。。

She　thought　for　a　second。　Do　you　have　anything　stronger；　or　is　it　too　early　to　drink？”

He　smiled。　“I　have　some　bourbon　in　the　pantry。　Is　that　okay？”

“That　sounds　great。”

　He　started　towards　the　kitchen；　and　Allie　watched　him　run　his　hand　through　his　wet　hair　as　he　disappeared。

Thunder　boomed　loudly　and　another　downpour　started。　Allie　could　hear　the　roaring　of　the　rain　on　the　roof；　could　hear　the　snapping　of　lop　as　the　flickering　flames　lit　the　room。　She　took　a　quilt　from　the　sofa　and　sat　on　the　rug　in　front　of　the　fire。　Crossing　her　legs；　she　adjusted　the　quilt　until　she　was　fortable　and　watched　the　dancing　flames。　Noah　came　back；　saw　what　she　had　done；　and　went　to　sit　beside　her。　He　put　down　two　glasses　and　poured　some　bourbon　into　each　of　them。　Outside；　the　sky　grew　darker。　Thunder　again。　Loud。　The　storm　in　full　fury；　winds　whipping　the　rain　in　circles。

“It’s　quite　a　storm；”　Noah　said　as　he　watched　the　drops　flow　in　vertical　streams　on　the　windows。　He　and　Allie　were　close　now；　though　not　touching；　and　Noah　watched　her　chest　rise　slightly　with　every　breath；　imagining　the　feel　of　her　body　once　again　before　fighting　back　the　thought

“I　like　it；”　she　said；　taking　a　sip。　“I’ve　always　liked　thunderstorms。　Even　as　a　young　girl。”

“Why？”　Saying　anything；　keeping　his　balance。

“I　don’t　know。　They　just　always　seemed　romantic　to　me。”

She　ent；　and　Noah　watched　the　fire　flicker　in　her　emerald　eyes。　Then　she　said；　“Do　you　remember　sitting　together　and　watching　the　storm　a　few　nights　before　I　left？”

“Of　course。”

“I　used　to　think　about　it　all　the　time　after　I　went　Home。　I　always　thought　about　how　you　looked　that　night。　It　was　the　way　I　remembered　you。”

“Have　I　changed　much？”

She　took　another　sip　of　bourbon；　feeling　it　warm　her。　She　touched　his　hand　as　she　answered。

“Not　really。　Not　in　the　things　that　I　remember。　You’re　older；　of　course；　with　more　life　behind　you；　but　you’ve　still　got　the　same　gleam　in　your　eye。　You　still　read　poetry　and　float　on　rivers。　And　you’ve　still　got　a　gentleness　that　not　even　the　war　could　take　away。”

He　thought　about　what　she’d　said　and　felt　her　hand　lingering　on　his；　her　thumb　tracing　slow　circles。

“Allie；　you　asked　me　earlier　what　I　remembered　most　about　the　summer。　What　do　you　remember？”

It　was　a　while　before　she　answered。　〃I　remember　making　love。　That's　what　I　remember　most。　You　were　my　first；　and　it　was　more　wonderful　than　I　ever　thought　it　would　be。〃

Noah　took　a　drink　of　bourbon；　remembering；　bringing　back　the　old　feelings。

She　went　on。　〃I　remember　being　so　afraid　beforehand　that　I　was　trembling；　but　at　the　same　time　being　so　excited。　I'm　glad　you　were　the　first。　I'm　glad　we　were　able　to　share　that。〃

〃Me　too。〃

〃Were　you　as　afraid　as　I　was？〃

Noah