the notebook-恋恋笔记本(英文版)-第9部分

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〃Me　too。〃

〃Were　you　as　afraid　as　I　was？〃

Noah　nodded　without　speaking；　and　she　smiled　at　his　honesty。

She　squeezed　his　hand；　let　go；　and　moved　closer。　She　put　her　hand　through　his　arm；　cradling　it；　and　rested　her　head　on　his　shoulder。　He　could　smell　her；　soft　like　the　rain；　ber　walking　Home　after　the　festival？　I　asked　you　if　you　wanted　to　see　me　again。　You　just　nodded　your　head　and　didn't　say　a　word。　It　wasn’t　too　convincing。〃

〃I'd　never　met　anyone　like　you。　I　didn't　know　what　to　say。〃

〃I　know。　You　could　never　hide　anything。　Your　eyes　always　gave　you　away。　You　had　the　most　wonderful　eyes　I'd　ever　seen。〃　She　lifted　her　head　from　his　shoulder　and　looked　directly　at　him。　When　she　spoke；　her　voice　was　barely　above　a　whisper。　〃I　think　I　loved　you　more　that　summer　than　I　ever　loved　anyone。〃

Lightning　flashed　again。　In　the　quiet　moments　before　the　thunder；　their　eyes　met　as　they　tried　to　undo　fourteen　years。　When　the　thunder　finally　sounded；　Noah　sighed　and　turned　from　her；　towards　the　windows。

〃I　wish　you　could　have　read　the　letters　I　wrote　you；〃　he　said。

She　didn't　speak　for　a　while。

〃It　wasn't　just　up　to　you；　Noah。　I　didn’t　tell　you；　but　I　wrote　you　a　dozen　letters　after　I　got　Home。　I　just　never　sent　them。〃

〃Why？〃　Noah　was　surprised。

〃I　guess　I　was　too　afraid。〃

〃Of　what？〃　

〃That　maybe　it　wasn’t　as　real　as　I　thought　it　was。　That　maybe　you　forgot　me。〃

〃I　would　never　do　that。　I　couldn't　even　think　it。〃

〃I　know　that　now。　I　can　see　it　when　I　took　at　you。　But　back　then　it　was　different。　There　was　so　much　I　didn't　understand；　things　that　a　young　girl's　mind　couldn't　sort　out。〃

〃What　do　you　mean？”

〃When　your　letters　never　came；　I　didn't　know　what　to　think。　I　remember　talking　to　my　best　friend　about　that　summer；　and　she　said　that　you　had　got　what　you　wanted；　and　that　she　wasn't　surprised　that　you　wouldn't　write。　I　didn't　believe　that　you　were　that　way；　I　never　did；　but　hearing　it　and　thinking　about　all　our　differences　made　me　wonder　if　maybe　the　summer　meant　more　to　me　than　it　had　meant　to　you　。。。”

　　　Noah　looked　away　and　she　continued。　〃In　time；　the　hurt　began　to　fade　and　it　was　easier　to　just　let　it　go。　At　least　I　thought　it　was。　But　in　every　boy　I　met　in　the　next　few　years　I　found　myself　looking　for　you；　and　when　the　feelings　got　too　strong　I'd　write　you　another　letter。　But　I　never　sent　them　for　fear　of　what　I　might　find。　By　then　you'd　gone　on　with　your　life　and　I　didn't　want　to　think　about　you　loving…someone　else。　I　wanted　to　remember　us　like　we　were　that　summer。〃

〃You're　better　than　I　remembered；　Allie。〃

〃You're　sweet；　Noah。〃

He　almost　stopped　there；　knowing　that　if　he　kept　the　words　inside　him　he　could　keep　control；　the　same　control　he　had　kept　the　past　fourteen　years。　But　then　something　overtook　him　and　he　gave　in　to　it；　hoping　it　would　take　them　back　to　what　they'd　had　so　long　ago。

〃I'm　not　saying　it　because　I'm　sweet。　I'm　saying　it　because　I　love　you　now　and　I　always　have。　More　than　you　can　imagine。〃

A　log　snapped；　sending　sparks　up　the　chimney；　and　both　of　them　noticed　the　smouldering　remains；　almost　burned　through。

Allie　took　a　sip　of　bourbon　and　began　to　feel　its　effects。　But　it　wasn’t　Just　the　alcohol　that　made　her　hold　Noah　a　little　tighter　and　feet　his　warmth　against　her。　Glancing　out　of　the　window；　she　saw　the　clouds　were　almost　black。　〃Noah；　you've　never　asked；　but　I　want　you　to　know　something。〃

〃What　is　it？〃

Her　voice　was　tender。　〃There's　never　been　another；　Noah。　You　weren't　just　the　first。　You're　the　only　man…I've　ever　been　with；　I　don’t　expect　you　to　say　the　same　thing；　but　I　wanted　you　to　know。〃

Noah　was　silent　as　he　turned　away。　She　felt　warmer　as　she　watched　the　fire。　She　leaned　into　him　and　felt　the　heat　between　them；　felt　his　body；　felt　his　arm　tight　around　her。　It　felt　so　right　to　be　here。　Everything　felt　right。　The　fire；　the　drinks；　the　storm—it

couldn't　have　been　more　perfect。　It　seemed　their　years　apart　didn't　matter　any　more。

They　gave　in　then　to　everything　they　had　fought　against　for　the　last　fourteen　years。　Allie　lifted　her　head　off　his　shoulder；　looked　at　him　with　hazy　eyes；　and　Noah　kissed　her　softly　on　the　lips。　She　brought　her　hand　to　his　face　and　touched　his　cheek；　brushing　it　softly　with　her　fingers。　He　leaned　in　and　kissed　her　tenderly；　and　she　kissed　back；　feeling　the　years　of　separation　dissolve　into　passion。

She　closed　her　eyes　and　parted　her　lips　as　he　ran　his　fingers　up　and　down　her　arms；　slowly；　lightly。　He　kissed　her　neck；　her　cheek；　her　eyelids；　and　she　felt　the　moisture　of　his　mouth　linger　wherever　his　lips　had　touched。　She　took　his　hand　and　led　it　to　her　breasts；　and　a　whimper　rose　in　her　throat　as　he　gently　touched　them　through　the　thin　fabric　of　the　shirt。

The　world　seemed　dreamlike　as　she　pulled　back　from　him；　the　firelight　setting　her　face　aglow。　Without　speaking；　she　started　to　undo　the　buttons　on　his　shirt。　He　watched　her　as　she　did　it　and　listened　to　her　soft　breaths　as　she　made　her　way　downwards。　With　each　button　he　could　feel　her　fingers　brushing　against　his　skin；　and　she　smiled　softly　at　him　when　she　finally　finished。　He　felt　her　slide　her　hands　inside；　touching　him　lightly；　exploring　his　body。　She　kissed　his　neck　gently　as　she　pulled　the　shirt　over　his　shoulders；　freeing　the　sleeves。　With　that；　he　slowly　reached　for　her。　He　lifted　her　shirt　and　ran　his　finger　slowly　across　her　belly　before　raising　her　arms　and　slipping　it　off。　She　felt　short　of　breath　as　his　hands　gently　caressed　her　back；　her　arms；　her　shoulders；　and　she　felt　their　heated　bodies　press　together；　skin　to　skin。

They　lay　back；　close　to　the　fire；　and　the　heat　made　the　air　seem　thick。　She　ran　her　hands　through　his　hair　as　he　held　himself　above　her；　his　arm　muscles　hard　from　the　exertion。　With　a　little　tempting　frown；　she　pulled　him　closer；　but　he　resisted。　Instead　he　lowered　himself　and　lightly　rubbed　his　chest　against　her；　and　she　felt　her　body　respond　with　anticipation。

He　did　this　until　she　couldn't　take　it　any　more；　and　when　they　finally　joined　as　one；　she　cried　aloud　and　pressed　her　fingers　hard　into　his　back。　She　buried　her　face　in　his　neck　and　felt　him　deep　inside　her；　felt　his　strength　and　gentleness。

She　opened　her　eyes　and　watched　him　in　the　firelight；　marvelling　at　his　beauty。　She　saw　his　body　glisten　with　crystal　sweat　and　felt　every　responsibility；　every　facet　of　her　life；　slipping　away。

By　the　time　the　rain　had　stopped　and　the　sun　had　set；　her　body　was　exhausted。　They　spent　the　day　in　each　other's　arms；　alternately　making　love　by　the　fire　and　then　holding　each　other　as　they　watched　the　flames　curl　around　the　wood。　He　recited　his　favourite　poems　as　she　lay　beside　him；　and　she　listened　with　her　eyes　closed　and　almost　felt　the　words。　Then　they　joined　again　and　he　murmured　words　of　love　between　kisses　as　they　wrapped　their　arms　around　one　another。

They　went　on　throughout　the　evening；　making　up　for　their　years　apart；　and　slept　in　each　other's　arms　that　night。　Occasionally　he　would　wake　up　and　look　at　her；　her　body　spent　and　radiant；　and　feel　as　if　everything　were　suddenly　tight　in　this　world。

Once；　when　he　was　looking　at　her　in　the　moments　before　daybreak；　her　eyes　fluttered　open　and　she　smiled　and　reached　up　to　touch　his　face。　He　put　his　fingers　to　her　lips；　gently；　to　keep　her　from　speaking；　and　for　a　long　time　they　just　looked　at　one　another。

When　the　lump　in　his　throat　subsided；　he　whispered　to　her；　〃You　are　the　answer　to　every　prayer　I’ve　offered。　You　are　a　song；　a　dream；　a　whisper；　and　I　don't　know　how　I　could　have　lived　without　you　for　as　long　as　I　have。　I　love　you；　Allie；　more　than　you　can　ever　imagine；　I　always　have　and　I　always　will。〃

〃Oh；　Noah；〃　she　said；　pulling　him　to　her。　She　wanted　him；　needed　him　now　more　than　ever；　like　nothing　she'd　ever　known。

CHAPTER　SEVEN：　AN　UNEXPECTED　VISITOR

LATER　THAT　same　morning；　three　men　…　two　lawyers　and　the　judge—sat　in　chambers　while　Lon　finished　speaking。

〃It’s　an　unusual　request；〃　the　judge　answered；　pondering　the　situation。　〃It　seems　to　me　the　trial　could　very　well　end　today。　Are　you　saying　this　matter　can't　wait　until　later　this　evening　or　tomorrow？〃

〃No；　your　honour；　it　cant；〃　Lon　answered　almost　too　quickly。　Stay　relaxed；　he　told　himself。　Take　a　deep　breath。

〃And　it　has　nothing　to　do　with　this　case？〃

〃No；　your　honour。　It's　of　a　personal　nature。　I　know　it's　out　of　the　ordinary；　but　I　really　need　to　take　care　of　it。〃

The　judge　leaned　back　in　his　chair；　evaluating　him　for　a　moment。　〃Mr。　Bates；　how　do　you　feel　about　this？〃

The　lawyer　cleared　his　throat。　〃Mr。　Hammond　called　me　this　morning　arid　I've　already　spoken　to　my　clients。　They're　willing　to　postpone　until　Monday。　Mr。　Hammond　has　agreed　in　return　to　reopen　discussion　on　a　certain　matter　not　covered　by　this　proceeding。〃

The　judge　looked　hard　at　both　of　them。　〃I　don't　like　it；〃　he　said；　〃not　at　all。　But　Mr。　Hammond　has　never　made　such　a　request　before；　and　I　assume　the　matter　is　very　important　to　him。〃　He　banged　for　effect；　then　looked　at　some　papers　on　his　desk。　〃I'll　agree　to　adjourn　until　Monday；　Nine　o'clock　sharp。〃

〃Thank　you；　your　honour。”　Lon　said。

Two　minutes　later　he　was　leaving　the　courthouse。　He　walked　to　the　car　he　had　parked　directly　across　the　street；　got　in　and　began　the　drive　to　New　Bern；　his　hands　shaking；

NOAH　MADE　breakfast　for　Allie　while　she　slept　in　the　living　room。　Bacon；　rolls　and　Coffee；　nothing　spectacular。　He　set　the　tray　beside　her　as　she　woke　up；　and　as　soon　as　they　had　finished　eating　they　made　love　again；　in　powerful　confirmation　of　what　they　had　shared　the　day　before。

They　showered　and　afterwards　Allie　put　on　her　dress；　which　had　dried　overnight　She　spent　the　morning　with　Noah；　Together　they　fed　Clem　and　checked　the　windows　to　make　sure　no　damage　bad　been　done　in　the　storm。　Two　pine　trees　bad　blown　over；　though　neither　had　caused　much　damage；　and　a　few　shingles　had　Mown　off　the　shed；　but；　other　than　that；　the　property　had　escaped　unscathed。

He　held　her　hand　most　of　the　morning　and　they　talked　easily；　but　sometimes　he　would　stop　speaking　and　just　stare　at　her。　When　he　did；　she　felt　as　though　she　should　say　something；　but　nothing　meaningful　ever　came　into　her　head。　She　usually　just　kissed　him。

A　little　before　noon；　Noah　and　Allie　went　in　to　prepare　lunch。　Using　what　he　had　on　hand；　they　tried　some　chicken　and　baked　another　batch　of　bread　rolls；　and　the　two　of　them　ate　on　the　porch；　serenaded　by　a　mockingbird。

　While　they　were　inside　doing　the　dishes*　they　heard　a　knock　at　the　door；　Noah　left　Allie　in　the　kitchen。

Knock；　knock。　Louder。

Noah　approached　the　door。　

Knock；　knock。

〃I'm　ing；〃　he　said　as　he　opened　the　door。　〃Oh；　my　God。〃

He　stared　for　a　moment　at　a　beautiful　woman　in　her　early　fifties；　a　woman　he　would　have　recognized　anywhere。

〃Hello；　Noah；〃　she　said。

Noah　said　nothing。

“May　I　e　in？〃　she　asked；　her　voice　steady；　revealing　nothing。

He　stammered　out　a　reply　as　she　walked　past　him；　stopping　just　before　the　stairs。

〃Who　is　it？〃　Allie　shouted　from　the　kitchen；　and　the　woman　turned　at　the　sound　of　her　voice。

〃It's　your　mother。”　Noah　finally　answered；　and　immediately　after　he　said　it　he　heard　the　sound　of　breaking　glass。

〃I　knew　you　would　be　here；〃　Anne　Nelson　said　to　her　daughter　as　the　three　of　them　sat　around　the　Coffee　table　in　the　living　room。

〃How　could　you　be　so　sure？〃　　　　

〃You're　my　daughter。　One　day　when　you　have　kids　of　your　own；　you'll　know　the　answer。〃　She　smiled；　but　her　manner　was　stiff；　and　Noah　imagined　how　difficult　this　must　be　for　her。　〃I　saw　the　article；　too；　and　I　saw　your　reaction。　I　also　saw　how　tense　you've　been　during　the　last　couple　of　weeks；　and　when　you　said　you　were　going　shopping　near　the　coast；　I　knew　exactly　what　you　meant。〃

〃What　about　daddy？〃

Anne　Nelson　shook　her　head；　〃No；　I　didn't　tell　your　father　or　anyone　else　about　it。　Nor　did　I　tell　anyone　where　I　was　going　today。〃

〃Why　did　you　e？〃　Allie　asked。

〃I　came　because　I　had　to；〃　her　mother　said；　〃which　I'm　sure　is　the　same　reason　you　came。　Am　I　right？〃

Allie　nodded。

Anne　turned　to　Noah。　〃I　know　you　don't　think　so；　but　I　always　liked　you。　I　just　didn't　think　you　were　right　for　my　daughter。　Can　you　understand　that？〃

He　shook　his　head　as　he　answered。　〃No；　not　really。　It　wasn’t　fair　to　me；　and　it　wasn't　fair　to　Allie。　Otherwise　she　wouldn't　be　here。〃

　She　watched　him　as　he　answered；　but　she　said　nothing。　Allie；　sensing　an　argument；　cut　in。　〃What　do　you　mean　when　you　say　you　had　to　e？　Don't　you　trust　me？〃

Anne　turned　back　to　her　daughter。　〃This　has　nothing　to　do　with　trust。　This　has　to　do　with　Lon。　He　called　the　house　last　night　to　talk　to　me　about　Noah；　and　he's　on　his　way　here　right　now。　He　seemed　very　upset。　I　thought　you'd　want　to　know。〃

Allie　inhaled　sharply。　〃He's　on　his　way？〃

〃As　we　speak。　He　arranged　to　have　the　trial　postponed　until　next　week。　If　he's　not　in　New　Bern　yet；　he's　close。〃

〃What　did　you　say　to　him？〃

〃Not　much。　But　he　knew。　He　had　it　all　figured　out。　He　remembered　my　telling　him　about　Noah　a　long　time　ago。”

Allie　swallowed　hard；　〃Did　you　tell　him　I　was　here？〃

〃No。　And　I　won't。　That's　between　you　and　him。　But　knowing　him；　I'm　sure　he'll　find　you。　All　it　takes　is　a　couple　of　phone　calls　to　the　right　people。　After　all；　I　was　able　to　find　you；〃

Allie；　though　obviously　wearied；　smiled　at　her　mother。　〃Thank　you；〃　she　said；　and　her　mother　readied　for　her　hand。

〃I　know　we've　had　our　differences；　Allie；　and　that　we　haven't　seen　eye　to　eye　on　everything。　But　I'm…your　mother　and　that　means　I’ll　always　love　you。〃

Allie　was　silent　for　a　moment；　then：　〃What　should　I　do？〃

〃I　don’t　know；　Allie；　That's　up　to　you。　But　I　would　think　about　it。　Think　about　what　you　really　want。”

Allie　turned　away；　her　eyes　reddening。　A　moment　later　a　tear　drifted　down　her　cheek。　〃I　don't　know　。　。　。　〃　She　trailed　off；　and　her　mother　squeezed　her　hand。

Anne　looked　at　Noah；　who　had　been　sitting　with　his　head　down；　listening　carefully。　As　if　on　cue；　he　returned　her　gaze；　nodded　and　left　the　room。

When　he　was　gone；　Anne　whispered；　〃Do　you　love　him？〃

〃Yes；　I　do；〃　Allie　answered　softly；　〃very　much。〃

〃Do　you　love　Lon？〃

〃Yes；　I　do。　I　love　him；　too。　Dearly；　but　in　a　different　way。　He　doesn't　make　me　feel　the　way　Noah　does。〃

〃No　one　will　ever　do　that；〃　her　mother　said；　and　she　released　Allie's　hand。　〃I　can't　make　this　decision　for　you；　Allie；　this　one's　all　yours。　I　want　you　to　know；　though；　that　I　love　you。　And　I　always　will。　I　know　that　doesn't　help；　but　it's　all　I　can　do。〃

She　reached　in　her　handbag　and　removed　a　bundle　of　letters　held　together　with　string；　the　envelopes　old　and　slightly　yellowed。

〃These　are　the　letters　that　Noah　wrote　to　you。　I　never　threw　them　away；　and　they　haven't　been　opened。　I　know　I　shouldn't　have　kept　them　from　you；　and　I'm　sorry　for　that。　But　I　was　just　trying　to　protect　you。　I　didn't　realize。。。”

Allie　took　them　and　ran　her　hand　over　them；　shocked。

〃I　should　go；　Allie。　You've　got　some　decisions　to　make；　and　you　don't　have　much　time。　Do　you　want　me　to　stay　in　town？”

Allie　shook　her　head；　〃No；　this　is　up　to　me。〃

Anne　nodded　and　watched　her　daughter　for　a　moment；　wondering。　Finally　she　stood；　went　around　the　table；　leaned　over　and　kissed　Allie　on　the　cheek。　She　could　see　the　confusion　in　her　daughter's　eyes　as　Alli