ÓÑÇéÌáʾ£ºÈç¹û±¾ÍøÒ³´ò¿ªÌ«Âý»òÏÔʾ²»ÍêÕû£¬Çë³¢ÊÔÊó±êÓÒ¼ü¡°Ë¢Ð¡±±¾ÍøÒ³£¡
¸ßɽÉϵĺôº°-go tell it on the mountain-µÚ3²¿·Ö
¿ì½Ý²Ù×÷: °´¼üÅÌÉÏ·½Ïò¼ü ¡û »ò ¡ú ¿É¿ìËÙÉÏÏ·ҳ °´¼üÅÌÉ쵀 Enter ¼ü¿É»Øµ½±¾ÊéĿ¼ҳ °´¼üÅÌÉÏ·½Ïò¼ü ¡ü ¿É»Øµ½±¾Ò³¶¥²¿! Èç¹û±¾ÊéûÓÐÔĶÁÍ꣬ÏëÏ´μÌÐø½Ó×ÅÔĶÁ£¬¿ÉʹÓÃÉÏ·½ "Êղص½ÎÒµÄä¯ÀÀÆ÷" ¹¦ÄÜ ºÍ "¼ÓÈëÊéÇ©" ¹¦ÄÜ£¡
¡¡very¡¡fingertips£»moved¡¡outward¡¡and¡¡back¡¡against¡¡his¡¡hips£»¡¡his¡¡sightless¡¡eyes¡¡looked¡¡upward£»¡¡and¡¡he¡¡began¡¡to¡¡dance¡£
¡¡¡¡Then¡¡his¡¡hands¡¡close¡¡into¡¡fists£»¡¡and¡¡his¡¡head¡¡snapped¡¡downward£»¡¡his¡¡sweat¡¡loosening¡¡the¡¡greasethat¡¡slicked¡¡down¡¡his¡¡hair£»¡¡and¡¡the¡¡rhythm¡¡of¡¡all¡¡the¡¡others¡¡quickened¡¡to¡¡match¡¡Elisha¡¯s¡¡rhythm£»¡¡histhighs¡¡moved¡¡terribly¡¡against¡¡the¡¡cloth¡¡of¡¡his¡¡suit£»¡¡his¡¡heels¡¡beat¡¡on¡¡the¡¡floor£»¡¡and¡¡his¡¡fists¡¡movedbeside¡¡his¡¡body¡¡as¡¡though¡¡he¡¡were¡¡beating¡¡his¡¡own¡¡drum¡£¡¡And¡¡so£»¡¡for¡¡a¡¡while£»¡¡in¡¡the¡¡centre¡¡of¡¡thedancers£»¡¡head¡¡down£»¡¡fists¡¡beating£»¡¡on£»¡¡on£»¡¡unbearably£»¡¡until¡¡it¡¡seemed¡¡the¡¡walls¡¡of¡¡the¡¡church¡¡wouldfall¡¡for¡¡very¡¡sound£»¡¡and¡¡then£»¡¡in¡¡a¡¡moment£»¡¡with¡¡a¡¡cry£»¡¡head¡¡up£»¡¡arms¡¡high¡¡in¡¡the¡¡air£»¡¡sweat¡¡pouringfrom¡¡his¡¡forehead£»¡¡and¡¡all¡¡his¡¡body¡¡dancing¡¡as¡¡though¡¡it¡¡would¡¡never¡¡stop¡£¡¡Sometimes¡¡he¡¡did¡¡notstop¡¡until¡¡he¡¡fell¡ªuntil¡¡he¡¡dropped¡¡like¡¡some¡¡animal¡¡felled¡¡by¡¡a¡¡hammer¡ªmoaning£»¡¡on¡¡his¡¡face¡£
¡¡¡¡And¡¡then¡¡a¡¡great¡¡moaning¡¡filled¡¡the¡¡church¡£
¡¡¡¡There¡¡was¡¡sin¡¡among¡¡them¡£¡¡One¡¡Sunday£»¡¡when¡¡regular¡¡service¡¡was¡¡over£»¡¡Father¡¡James¡¡haduncovered¡¡sin¡¡in¡¡the¡¡congregation¡¡of¡¡the¡¡righteous¡£¡¡He¡¡had¡¡uncovered¡¡Elisha¡¡and¡¡Ella¡¡Mae¡£¡¡Theyhad¡¡been¡¡¡®walking¡¡disorderly¡¯£»¡¡they¡¡were¡¡in¡¡danger¡¡of¡¡straying¡¡from¡¡the¡¡truth¡£¡¡And¡¡as¡¡Father¡¡Jamesspoke¡¡of¡¡the¡¡sin¡¡that¡¡he¡¡knew¡¡they¡¡had¡¡not¡¡mitted¡¡yet£»¡¡of¡¡the¡¡unripe¡¡fig¡¡plucked¡¡too¡¡early¡¡fromthe¡¡tree¡ªto¡¡set¡¡the¡¡children¡¯s¡¡teeth¡¡on¡¡edge¡ªJohn¡¡felt¡¡himself¡¡grow¡¡dizzy¡¡in¡¡his¡¡seat¡¡and¡¡couldnot¡¡look¡¡at¡¡Elisha¡¡where¡¡he¡¡stood£»¡¡beside¡¡Ella¡¡Mae£»¡¡before¡¡the¡¡altar¡£¡¡Elisha¡¡hung¡¡his¡¡head¡¡as¡¡FatherJames¡¡spoke£»¡¡and¡¡the¡¡congregation¡¡murmured¡£¡¡And¡¡Ella¡¡Mae¡¡was¡¡not¡¡so¡¡beautiful¡¡now¡¡as¡¡she¡¡waswhen¡¡she¡¡was¡¡singing¡¡and¡¡testifying£»¡¡but¡¡looked¡¡like¡¡a¡¡sullen£»¡¡ordinary¡¡girl¡£¡¡Her¡¡full¡¡lips¡¡were¡¡looseand¡¡her¡¡eyes¡¡were¡¡black¡ªwith¡¡shame£»¡¡or¡¡rage£»¡¡or¡¡both¡£¡¡Her¡¡grandmother£»¡¡who¡¡had¡¡raised¡¡her£»¡¡satwatching¡¡quietly£»¡¡with¡¡folded¡¡hands¡£¡¡She¡¡of¡¡the¡¡pillars¡¡of¡¡the¡¡church£»¡¡a¡¡powerful¡¡evangelistandverywidelyknown¡£Shesaidnothi£¨was£©¡¡ngin£¨one£©¡¡Ella¡¡Mae¡¯s¡¡defense£»¡¡for¡¡she¡¡must¡¡have¡¡felt£»as¡¡the¡¡congregation¡¡felt£»¡¡that¡¡Father¡¡James¡¡was¡¡only¡¡exercising¡¡his¡¡clear¡¡and¡¡painful¡¡duty£»¡¡he¡¡wasresponsible£»¡¡after¡¡all£»¡¡for¡¡Elisha£»¡¡as¡¡Praying¡¡Mother¡¡Washington¡¡was¡¡responsible¡¡for¡¡Ella¡¡Mae¡£¡¡It¡¡was¡¡not¡¡an¡¡easy¡¡thing£»¡¡said¡¡Father¡¡James£»¡¡to¡¡be¡¡the¡¡pastor¡¡of¡¡a¡¡flock¡£¡¡It¡¡might¡¡look¡¡easy¡¡to¡¡just¡¡situp¡¡there¡¡in¡¡the¡¡pulpit¡¡night¡¡after¡¡night£»¡¡year¡¡in£»¡¡year¡¡out£»¡¡but¡¡let¡¡them¡¡remember¡¡the¡¡awfulresponsibility¡¡placed¡¡on¡¡his¡¡shoulders¡¡by¡¡almighty¡¡God¡ªlet¡¡them¡¡remember¡¡that¡¡God¡¡would¡¡askan¡¡accounting¡¡of¡¡him¡¡one¡¡day¡¡for¡¡every¡¡soul¡¡in¡¡his¡¡flock¡£¡¡Let¡¡them¡¡remember¡¡this¡¡when¡¡theythough¡¡he¡¡was¡¡hard£»¡¡let¡¡them¡¡remember¡¡that¡¡the¡¡Word¡¡was¡¡hard£»¡¡that¡¡the¡¡way¡¡of¡¡holiness¡¡was¡¡ahard¡¡way¡£¡¡There¡¡was¡¡no¡¡room¡¡in¡¡God¡¯s¡¡army¡¡for¡¡the¡¡coward¡¡heart£»¡¡no¡¡crown¡¡awaiting¡¡him¡¡who¡¡putmother£»¡¡or¡¡father£»¡¡sister£»¡¡or¡¡brother£»¡¡sweetheart£»¡¡or¡¡friend¡¡above¡¡God¡¯s¡¡will¡£¡¡Let¡¡the¡¡church¡¡cryamen¡¡to¡¡this£¡¡¡And¡¡they¡¡cried£º¡¡¡®Amen£¡¡¡Amen£¡¡¯
¡¡¡¡The¡¡Lord¡¡had¡¡led¡¡him£»¡¡said¡¡Father¡¡James£»¡¡looking¡¡down¡¡on¡¡the¡¡boy¡¡and¡¡girl¡¡before¡¡him£»¡¡togive¡¡them¡¡a¡¡public¡¡warning¡¡before¡¡it¡¡was¡¡too¡¡late¡£¡¡For¡¡he¡¡knew¡¡them¡¡to¡¡be¡¡sincere¡¡young¡¡people£»dedicate¡¡to¡¡the¡¡service¡¡of¡¡the¡¡Lord¡ªit¡¡was¡¡only¡¡that£»¡¡since¡¡they¡¡were¡¡young£»¡¡they¡¡did¡¡not¡¡know¡¡thepitfall¡¡Satan¡¡laid¡¡for¡¡the¡¡unwary¡£¡¡He¡¡knew¡¡that¡¡sin¡¡was¡¡not¡¡in¡¡their¡¡minds¡ªnot¡¡yet£»¡¡yet¡¡sin¡¡was¡¡inthe¡¡flesh£»¡¡and¡¡should¡¡they¡¡continue¡¡with¡¡their¡¡walking¡¡out¡¡alone¡¡together£»¡¡their¡¡secrets¡¡andlaughter£»¡¡and¡¡touching¡¡of¡¡hands£»¡¡they¡¡would¡¡surely¡¡sin¡¡a¡¡sin¡¡beyond¡¡all¡¡forgiveness¡£¡¡And¡¡Johnwondered¡¡what¡¡Elisha¡¡was¡¡thinking¡ªElisha¡¡£»¡¡who¡¡was¡¡tall¡¡and¡¡handsome£»¡¡who¡¡played¡¡basket¡ball£»and¡¡who¡¡had¡¡been¡¡saved¡¡at¡¡the¡¡age¡¡of¡¡eleven¡¡in¡¡the¡¡improbable¡¡fields¡¡down¡¡south¡£¡¡Had¡¡he¡¡sinned£¿
¡¡¡¡Had¡¡he¡¡been¡¡tempted£¿¡¡And¡¡the¡¡girl¡¡beside¡¡him£»¡¡whose¡¡white¡¡robes¡¡now¡¡seemed¡¡the¡¡merest£»thinnest¡¡covering¡¡for¡¡the¡¡nakedness¡¡of¡¡breasts¡¡and¡¡insistent¡¡thighs¡ªwhat¡¡was¡¡her¡¡face¡¡like¡¡whenshe¡¡was¡¡alone¡¡with¡¡Elisha£»¡¡with¡¡no¡¡singing£»¡¡when¡¡they¡¡were¡¡not¡¡surrounded¡¡by¡¡the¡¡saints£¿¡¡He¡¡wasafraid¡¡to¡¡think¡¡of¡¡it£»¡¡yet¡¡he¡¡could¡¡think¡¡of¡¡nothing¡¡else£»¡¡and¡¡the¡¡fever¡¡of¡¡which¡¡they¡¡stood¡¡accusedbegan¡¡also¡¡to¡¡rage¡¡him¡£
¡¡¡¡After¡¡this¡¡Sunday¡¡Elisha¡¡and¡¡Ella¡¡Mae¡¡no¡¡longer¡¡met¡¡each¡¡other¡¡each¡¡day¡¡after¡¡school£»¡¡nolonger¡¡spent¡¡Saturday¡¡afternoons¡¡wandering¡¡through¡¡Central¡¡Park£»¡¡or¡¡lying¡¡on¡¡the¡¡beach¡£¡¡All¡¡thatwas¡¡over¡¡for¡¡them¡£¡¡If¡¡they¡¡came¡¡together¡¡again¡¡it¡¡would¡¡be¡¡in¡¡wedlock¡£¡¡They¡¡would¡¡have¡¡childrenand¡¡raise¡¡them¡¡in¡¡the¡¡church¡£
¡¡¡¡This¡¡was¡¡what¡¡was¡¡meant¡¡by¡¡a¡¡holy¡¡life£»¡¡this¡¡was¡¡what¡¡the¡¡way¡¡of¡¡the¡¡cross¡¡demanded¡£¡¡Itwas¡¡somehow¡¡on¡¡that¡¡Sunday£»¡¡a¡¡Sunday¡¡shortly¡¡before¡¡his¡¡birthday£»¡¡that¡¡John¡¡first¡¡realized¡¡thatthis¡¡was¡¡the¡¡life¡¡awaiting¡¡him¡ªrealized¡¡it¡¡consciously£»¡¡as¡¡something¡¡no¡¡longer¡¡far¡¡off£»¡¡butimminent£»¡¡ing¡¡closer¡¡day¡¡by¡¡day¡£
¡¡¡¡John¡¯s¡¡birthday¡¡fell¡¡on¡¡a¡¡Sunday¡¡in¡¡March£»¡¡in¡¡1935¡£¡¡He¡¡awoke¡¡on¡¡this¡¡birthday¡¡morning¡¡with¡¡thefeeling¡¡that¡¡there¡¡was¡¡menace¡¡in¡¡the¡¡air¡¡around¡¡him¡ªthat¡¡something¡¡irrevocable¡¡had¡¡occurred¡¡inhim¡£¡¡He¡¡stared¡¡at¡¡a¡¡yellow¡¡stain¡¡on¡¡the¡¡ceiling¡¡just¡¡above¡¡his¡¡head¡£¡¡Roy¡¡was¡¡still¡¡smothered¡¡in¡¡thebedclothes£»¡¡and¡¡his¡¡breath¡¡came¡¡and¡¡went¡¡with¡¡a¡¡small£»¡¡whistling¡¡sound¡£¡¡There¡¡was¡¡no¡¡other¡¡soundanywhere£»¡¡no¡¡one¡¡in¡¡the¡¡house¡¡was¡¡up¡£¡¡The¡¡neighbors¡¯¡¡radios¡¡were¡¡all¡¡silent£»¡¡and¡¡his¡¡mother¡¡hadn¡¯tyet¡¡risen¡¡to¡¡fix¡¡his¡¡father¡¯s¡¡breakfast¡£¡¡John¡¡wondered¡¡at¡¡his¡¡panic£»¡¡then¡¡wondered¡¡about¡¡the¡¡time£»and¡¡then¡¡£¨while¡¡the¡¡yellow¡¡stain¡¡on¡¡the¡¡ceiling¡¡slowly¡¡transformed¡¡itself¡¡into¡¡a¡¡woman¡¯snakedness£©¡¡he¡¡remembered¡¡that¡¡it¡¡was¡¡his¡¡fourteenth¡¡birthday¡¡and¡¡that¡¡he¡¡had¡¡sinned¡£
¡¡¡¡His¡¡first¡¡thought£»¡¡nevertheless£»¡¡was£º¡¡¡®Will¡¡anyone¡¡remember£¿¡¯¡¡For¡¡it¡¡had¡¡happened£»¡¡once¡¡ortwice£»¡¡that¡¡his¡¡birthday¡¡had¡¡passed¡¡entirely¡¡unnoticed£»¡¡and¡¡no¡¡one¡¡had¡¡said¡¡¡®Happy¡¡Birthday£»Johnny£»¡¯¡¡or¡¡given¡¡him¡¡anything¡ªnot¡¡even¡¡his¡¡mother¡£
¡¡¡¡¡¡Roy¡¡stirred¡¡again¡¡and¡¡John¡¡pushed¡¡him¡¡away£»¡¡listening¡¡to¡¡the¡¡silence¡£¡¡On¡¡other¡¡mornings¡¡heawoke¡¡hearing¡¡his¡¡mother¡¡singing¡¡in¡¡the¡¡kitchen£»¡¡hearing¡¡his¡¡father¡¡in¡¡the¡¡bedroom¡¡behind¡¡himgrunting¡¡and¡¡muttering¡¡prayers¡¡to¡¡himself¡¡as¡¡he¡¡put¡¡on¡¡his¡¡clothes£»¡¡hearing£»¡¡perhaps£»¡¡the¡¡chatter¡¡ofSarah¡¡and¡¡the¡¡squalling¡¡of¡¡Ruth£»¡¡and¡¡the¡¡radios£»¡¡the¡¡clatter¡¡of¡¡pots¡¡and¡¡pans£»¡¡and¡¡the¡¡voices¡¡of¡¡allthe¡¡folk¡¡nearby¡£¡¡This¡¡morning¡¡not¡¡even¡¡the¡¡cry¡¡of¡¡a¡¡bedspring¡¡disturbed¡¡the¡¡silence£»¡¡and¡¡Johnseemed£»¡¡therefore£»¡¡to¡¡be¡¡listening¡¡to¡¡his¡¡own¡¡unspeaking¡¡doom¡£¡¡He¡¡could¡¡believe£»¡¡almost£»¡¡that¡¡hehad¡¡awakened¡¡late¡¡on¡¡that¡¡great¡¡getting¡up¡¡morning£»¡¡that¡¡all¡¡the¡¡saved¡¡had¡¡been¡¡transformed¡¡in¡¡thetwinkling¡¡of¡¡an¡¡eye£»¡¡and¡¡had¡¡risen¡¡to¡¡meet¡¡Jesus¡¡in¡¡the¡¡clouds£»¡¡and¡¡that¡¡he¡¡was¡¡left£»¡¡with¡¡his¡¡sinfulbody£»¡¡to¡¡be¡¡bound¡¡in¡¡hell¡¡a¡¡thousand¡¡years¡£
¡¡¡¡He¡¡had¡¡sinned¡£¡¡In¡¡spite¡¡of¡¡the¡¡saints£»¡¡his¡¡mother¡¡and¡¡his¡¡father£»¡¡the¡¡warning¡¡he¡¡had¡¡heardfrom¡¡his¡¡earliest¡¡beginnings£»¡¡he¡¡had¡¡sinned¡¡with¡¡his¡¡hands¡¡a¡¡sin¡¡that¡¡was¡¡hard¡¡to¡¡forgive¡£¡¡In¡¡theschool¡¡lavatory£»¡¡alone£»¡¡thinking¡¡of¡¡the¡¡boys£»¡¡older£»¡¡bigger£»¡¡braver£»¡¡who¡¡made¡¡bets¡¡with¡¡each¡¡otheras¡¡to¡¡whose¡¡urine¡¡could¡¡arch¡¡higher£»¡¡he¡¡had¡¡watched¡¡in¡¡himself¡¡a¡¡transformation¡¡of¡¡which¡¡hewould¡¡never¡¡dare¡¡to¡¡speak¡£
¡¡¡¡And¡¡the¡¡darkness¡¡of¡¡John¡¯s¡¡sin¡¡was¡¡like¡¡the¡¡darkness¡¡of¡¡the¡¡church¡¡on¡¡Saturday¡¡evenings£»like¡¡the¡¡silence¡¡of¡¡the¡¡church¡¡while¡¡he¡¡was¡¡there¡¡alone£»¡¡sweeping£»¡¡and¡¡running¡¡water¡¡into¡¡the¡¡greatbucket£»¡¡and¡¡overturning¡¡chairs£»¡¡long¡¡before¡¡the¡¡saints¡¡arrived¡£¡¡It¡¡was¡¡like¡¡his¡¡thoughts¡¡as¡¡he¡¡movedabout¡¡the¡¡tabernacle¡¡in¡¡which¡¡his¡¡life¡¡had¡¡been¡¡spent£»¡¡the¡¡tabernacle¡¡hated£»¡¡yet¡¡loved¡¡and¡¡feared¡£¡¡Itwas¡¡like¡¡Roy¡¯s¡¡curses£»¡¡like¡¡the¡¡echoes¡¡these¡¡curses¡¡raised¡¡in¡¡John£º¡¡he¡¡remembered¡¡Roy£»¡¡on¡¡somerare¡¡Saturday¡¡when¡¡he¡¡had¡¡e¡¡to¡¡help¡¡John¡¡clean¡¡the¡¡church£»¡¡cursing¡¡in¡¡the¡¡house¡¡of¡¡God£»¡¡andmaking¡¡obscene¡¡gestures¡¡before¡¡the¡¡eyes¡¡of¡¡Jesus¡£¡¡It¡¡was¡¡like¡¡all¡¡this£»¡¡and¡¡it¡¡was¡¡like¡¡the¡¡walls¡¡thatwitnessed¡¡and¡¡the¡¡placards¡¡on¡¡the¡¡walls¡¡which¡¡testified¡¡that¡¡the¡¡wages¡¡of¡¡sin¡¡was¡¡death¡£¡¡Thedarkness¡¡of¡¡his¡¡sin¡¡was¡¡in¡¡the¡¡hardheartedness¡¡with¡¡which¡¡he¡¡resisted¡¡God¡¯s¡¡power£»¡¡in¡¡the¡¡scornthat¡¡was¡¡often¡¡his¡¡while¡¡he¡¡listened¡¡to¡¡the¡¡crying£»¡¡breaking¡¡voices£»¡¡and¡¡watched¡¡the¡¡black¡¡skinglisten¡¡while¡¡they¡¡lifted¡¡up¡¡their¡¡arms¡¡and¡¡fell¡¡on¡¡their¡¡faces¡¡before¡¡the¡¡Lord¡£¡¡For¡¡he¡¡had¡¡made¡¡hisdecision¡£¡¡He¡¡would¡¡not¡¡be¡¡like¡¡his¡¡father£»¡¡or¡¡his¡¡father¡¯s¡¡fathers¡£¡¡He¡¡would¡¡have¡¡another¡¡life¡£
¡¡¡¡For¡¡John¡¡excelled¡¡in¡¡school£»¡¡though¡¡not£»¡¡like¡¡Elisha£»¡¡in¡¡mathematics¡¡or¡¡basket¡ball£»¡¡and¡¡itwas¡¡said¡¡that¡¡he¡¡had¡¡a¡¡Great¡¡Future¡£¡¡He¡¡might¡¡bee¡¡a¡¡Great¡¡Leader¡¡of¡¡His¡¡People¡£¡¡John¡¡was¡¡notmuch¡¡interested¡¡in¡¡His¡¡people¡¡and¡¡still¡¡less¡¡in¡¡leading¡¡them¡¡anywhere£»¡¡but¡¡the¡¡phrase¡¡so¡¡oftenrepeated¡¡rose¡¡in¡¡his¡¡mind¡¡like¡¡a¡¡great¡¡brass¡¡gate£»¡¡opening¡¡outward¡¡for¡¡him¡¡on¡¡a¡¡world¡¡where¡¡peopledid¡¡not¡¡live¡¡in¡¡the¡¡darkness¡¡of¡¡his¡¡father¡¯s¡¡house£»¡¡did¡¡not¡¡pray¡¡to¡¡Jesus¡¡in¡¡the¡¡darkness¡¡of¡¡hisfather¡¯s¡¡church£»¡¡where¡¡he¡¡would¡¡eat¡¡good¡¡food£»¡¡and¡¡wear¡¡fine¡¡clothes£»¡¡and¡¡go¡¡to¡¡the¡¡movies¡¡asoften¡¡as¡¡he¡¡wished¡£¡¡In¡¡this¡¡world¡¡John£»¡¡who¡¡was£»¡¡his¡¡father¡¡said£»¡¡ugly£»¡¡who¡¡was¡¡always¡¡the¡¡smallestboy¡¡in¡¡his¡¡class£»¡¡and¡¡who¡¡had¡¡no¡¡friends£»¡¡became¡¡immediately¡¡beautiful£»¡¡tall£»¡¡and¡¡popular¡£¡¡Peoplefell¡¡all¡¡over¡¡themselves¡¡to¡¡meet¡¡John¡¡Grimes¡£¡¡He¡¡was¡¡a¡¡poet£»¡¡or¡¡a¡¡college¡¡president£»¡¡or¡¡a¡¡moviestar£»¡¡he¡¡drank¡¡expensive¡¡whisky£»¡¡and¡¡he¡¡smoke¡¡Lucky¡¡Strike¡¡cigarettes¡¡in¡¡the¡¡green¡¡package¡£
¡¡¡¡It¡¡was¡¡not¡¡only¡¡colored¡¡people¡¡who¡¡praised¡¡John£»¡¡since¡¡they¡¡could¡¡not£»¡¡John¡¡felt£»¡¡in¡¡anycase¡¡really¡¡know£»¡¡but¡¡white¡¡people¡¡also¡¡said¡¡it£»¡¡in¡¡fact¡¡had¡¡said¡¡it¡¡first¡¡and¡¡said¡¡it¡¡still¡£¡¡It¡¡was¡¡whenJohn¡¡was¡¡five¡¡years¡¡old¡¡and¡¡in¡¡the¡¡first¡¡grade¡¡that¡¡he¡¡was¡¡first¡¡noticed£»¡¡and¡¡since¡¡he¡¡was¡¡noticed¡¡byan¡¡eye¡¡altogether¡¡alien¡¡and¡¡impersonal£»¡¡he¡¡began¡¡to¡¡perceive£»¡¡in¡¡wild¡¡uneasiness£»¡¡his¡¡individualexistence¡£
¡¡¡¡¡¡They¡¡were¡¡learning¡¡the¡¡alphabet¡¡that¡¡day£»¡¡and¡¡six¡¡children¡¡at¡¡a¡¡time¡¡were¡¡sent¡¡to¡¡theblackboard¡¡to¡¡write¡¡the¡¡letters¡¡they¡¡had¡¡memorized¡£¡¡Six¡¡had¡¡finished¡¡and¡¡were¡¡waiting¡¡for¡¡theteacher¡¯s¡¡judgment¡¡when¡¡the¡¡back¡¡door¡¡opened¡¡and¡¡the¡¡school¡¡principal£»¡¡of¡¡whom¡¡everyone¡¡wasterrified£»¡¡entered¡¡the¡¡room£»¡¡No¡¡one¡¡spoke¡¡or¡¡moved¡£¡¡In¡¡the¡¡silence¡¡the¡¡principal¡¯s¡¡voice¡¡said£º
¡¡¡¡¡®Which¡¡child¡¡is¡¡that£¿¡¯
¡¡¡¡She¡¡was¡¡pointing¡¡to¡¡the¡¡blackboard£»¡¡at¡¡John¡¯s¡¡letters¡£¡¡The¡¡possibility¡¡of¡¡being¡¡distinguishedby¡¡her¡¡notice¡¡did¡¡not¡¡enter¡¡John¡¯s¡¡mind£»¡¡and¡¡so¡¡he¡¡simply¡¡stared¡¡at¡¡her¡£¡¡Then¡¡he¡¡realized£»¡¡by¡¡theimmobility¡¡of¡¡the¡¡other¡¡children¡¡and¡¡by¡¡the¡¡way¡¡they¡¡avoided¡¡looking¡¡at¡¡him£»¡¡that¡¡it¡¡was¡¡he¡¡whowas¡¡selected¡¡for¡¡punishment¡£
¡¡¡¡¡°Speak¡¡up£»¡¡John£»¡¯¡¡said¡¡the¡¡teacher£»¡¡gently¡£
¡¡¡¡On¡¡the¡¡edge¡¡of¡¡tears£»¡¡he¡¡mumbled¡¡his¡¡name¡¡and¡¡waited¡£¡¡The¡¡principal£»¡¡a¡¡woman¡¡with¡¡whitehair¡¡and¡¡an¡¡iron¡¡face£»¡¡looked¡¡down¡¡at¡¡him¡£
¡¡¡¡¡®You¡¯re¡¡a¡¡very¡¡bright¡¡boy£»¡¡John¡¡Grimes£»¡¯¡¡she¡¡said¡£¡¡¡®Keep¡¡up¡¡the¡¡good¡¡work¡£¡¯
¡¡¡¡Then¡¡she¡¡walked¡¡out¡¡of¡¡the¡¡room¡£
¡¡¡¡That¡¡moment¡¡gave¡¡him£»¡¡from¡¡that¡¡time¡¡on£»¡¡if¡¡not¡¡a¡¡weapon¡¡at¡¡least¡¡a¡¡shield£»¡¡he¡¡apprehendedtotally£»¡¡without¡¡belief¡¡or¡¡understanding£»¡¡that¡¡he¡¡had¡¡in¡¡himself¡¡a¡¡power¡¡that¡¡other¡¡people¡¡lacked£»that¡¡he¡¡could¡¡use¡¡this¡¡to¡¡save¡¡himself£»¡¡to¡¡raise¡¡himself£»¡¡and¡¡that£»¡¡perhaps£»¡¡with¡¡this¡¡power¡¡he¡¡mightone¡¡day¡¡win¡¡that¡¡love¡¡which¡¡he¡¡so¡¡longed¡¡for¡£¡¡This¡¡was¡¡not£»¡¡in¡¡John£»¡¡a¡¡faith¡¡subject¡¡to¡¡death¡¡oralteration£»¡¡nor¡¡yet¡¡a¡¡hope¡¡subject¡¡to¡¡destruction£»¡¡it¡¡was¡¡his¡¡identity£»¡¡and¡¡part£»¡¡therefore£»¡¡of¡¡thatwickedness¡¡for¡¡which¡¡his¡¡father¡¡beat¡¡him¡¡and¡¡to¡¡which¡¡he¡¡clung¡¡in¡¡order¡¡to¡¡withstand¡¡his¡¡father¡£
¡¡¡¡His¡¡father¡¯s¡¡arm£»¡¡rising¡¡and¡¡falling£»¡¡might¡¡make¡¡him¡¡cry£»¡¡and¡¡that¡¡voice¡¡might¡¡cause¡¡him¡¡totremble£»¡¡yet¡¡his¡¡father¡¡could¡¡never¡¡be¡¡entirely¡¡the¡¡victor£»¡¡for¡¡John¡¡cherished¡¡something¡¡that¡¡hisfather¡¡could¡¡not¡¡reach¡£¡¡It¡¡was¡¡his¡¡hatred¡¡and¡¡his¡¡intelligence¡¡that¡¡he¡¡cherished£»¡¡the¡¡one¡¡feeding¡¡theother¡£¡¡He¡¡lived¡¡for¡¡the¡¡day¡¡when¡¡his¡¡father¡¡would¡¡be¡¡dying¡¡and¡¡he£»¡¡John£»¡¡would¡¡curse¡¡him¡¡on¡¡hisdeath¡bed¡£¡¡And¡¡this¡¡was¡¡why£»¡¡though¡¡he¡¡had¡¡been¡¡born¡¡in¡¡faith¡¡and¡¡had¡¡been¡¡surrounded¡¡all¡¡his¡¡lifeby¡¡the¡¡saints¡¡and¡¡by¡¡their¡¡prayers¡¡and¡¡their¡¡rejoicing£»¡¡and¡¡though¡¡the¡¡tabernacle¡¡in¡¡which¡¡theyworshipped¡¡was¡¡more¡¡pletely¡¡real¡¡to¡¡him¡¡that¡¡the¡¡several¡¡precarious¡¡homes¡¡in¡¡which¡¡he¡¡and¡¡hisfamily¡¡had¡¡lived£»¡¡John¡¯s¡¡heart¡¡was¡¡hardened¡¡against¡¡the¡¡Lord¡£¡¡His¡¡father¡¡was¡¡God¡¯s¡¡minister£»¡¡theambassador¡¡of¡¡the¡¡King¡¡of¡¡Heaven£»¡¡and¡¡John¡¡could¡¡not¡¡bow¡¡before¡¡the¡¡throne¡¡of¡¡grace¡¡without¡¡firstkneeling¡¡to¡¡his¡¡father¡£¡¡On¡¡his¡¡refusal¡¡to¡¡do¡¡this¡¡had¡¡his¡¡life¡¡depended£»¡¡and¡¡John¡¯s¡¡secret¡¡heart¡¡hadflourished¡¡in¡¡its¡¡wickedness¡¡until¡¡the¡¡day¡¡his¡¡sin¡¡first¡¡overtook¡¡him¡£
¡¡¡¡In¡¡the¡¡midst¡¡of¡¡all¡¡his¡¡wonderings¡¡he¡¡fell¡¡asleep¡¡again£»¡¡and¡¡when¡¡he¡¡woke¡¡up¡¡this¡¡time¡¡and¡¡got¡¡outof¡¡bed¡¡his¡¡father¡¡had¡¡gone¡¡to¡¡the¡¡factory£»¡¡where¡¡he¡¡would¡¡work¡¡for¡¡half¡¡a¡¡day¡£¡¡Roy¡¡was¡¡sitting¡¡inthe¡¡kitchen£»¡¡quarrelling¡¡with¡¡their¡¡mother¡£¡¡The¡¡baby£»¡¡Ruth£»¡¡sat¡¡in¡¡her¡¡high¡¡chair¡¡banging¡¡on¡¡the¡¡traywith¡¡an¡¡oatmeal¡covered¡¡spoon¡£¡¡This¡¡meant¡¡that¡¡she¡¡was¡¡in¡¡a¡¡good¡¡mood£»¡¡she¡¡would¡¡not¡¡spend¡¡theday¡¡howling£»¡¡for¡¡reasons¡¡known¡¡only¡¡to¡¡herself£»¡¡allowing¡¡no¡¡one¡¡but¡¡her¡¡mother¡¡to¡¡touch¡¡her¡£
¡¡¡¡Sarah¡¡was¡¡quiet£»¡¡not¡¡chattering¡¡to¡day£»¡¡or¡¡at¡¡any¡¡rate¡¡not¡¡yet£»¡¡and¡¡stood¡¡near¡¡the¡¡stove£»¡¡arms¡¡folded£»staring¡¡at¡¡Roy¡¡with¡¡the¡¡flat¡¡black¡¡eyes£»¡¡her¡¡father¡¯s¡¡eyes£»¡¡that¡¡made¡¡her¡¡look¡¡so¡¡old¡£
¡¡¡¡¡¡Their¡¡mother£»¡¡her¡¡head¡¡tied¡¡up¡¡in¡¡an¡¡old¡¡rag£»¡¡sipped¡¡black¡¡coffee¡¡and¡¡watched¡¡Roy¡£¡¡Thepale¡¡end¡of¡winter¡¡sunlight¡¡filled¡¡the¡¡room¡¡and¡¡yellowed¡¡all¡¡their¡¡faces£»¡¡and¡¡John£»¡¡drugged¡¡andmorbid¡¡and¡¡wondering¡¡how¡¡it¡¡was¡¡that¡¡he¡¡had¡¡slept¡¡again¡¡and¡¡had¡¡been¡¡allowed¡¡to¡¡sleep¡¡so¡¡long£»saw¡¡them¡¡for¡¡a¡¡moment¡¡like¡¡figures¡¡on¡¡a¡¡screen£»¡¡an¡¡effect¡¡that¡¡the¡¡yellow¡¡light¡¡intensified¡£¡¡Theroom¡¡was¡¡narrow¡¡and¡¡dirty£»¡¡nothing¡¡could¡¡alter¡¡its¡¡dimensions£»¡¡no¡¡labor¡¡could¡¡ever¡¡make¡¡it¡¡clean¡£
¡¡¡¡Dirt¡¡was¡¡in¡¡the¡¡walls¡¡and¡¡the¡¡floorboards£»¡¡and¡¡triumphed¡¡beneath¡¡the¡¡sink¡¡where¡¡the¡¡cockroachesspawned£»¡¡was¡¡in¡¡the¡¡fine¡¡ridges¡¡of¡¡the¡¡pots¡¡and¡¡pans£»¡¡scoured¡¡daily£»¡¡burnt¡¡black¡¡on¡¡the¡¡bottom£»hanging¡¡above¡¡the¡¡stove£»¡¡was¡¡in¡¡the¡¡wall¡¡against¡¡which¡¡they¡¡hung£»¡¡and¡¡revealed¡¡itself¡¡where¡¡thepaint¡¡had¡¡cracked¡¡and¡¡leaned¡¡outents£»¡¡the¡¡paper¡thin¡¡undersidewebbed¡¡with¡¡black¡£¡¡Dirt¡¡was¡¡in¡¡every¡¡corner£»¡¡angle£»¡¡crevice¡¡of¡¡the¡¡monstrous¡¡stove£»¡¡and¡¡livedbehind¡¡it¡¡in¡¡delirious¡¡munion¡¡with¡¡the¡¡corrupted¡¡wall¡£¡¡Dirt¡¡was¡¡in¡¡the¡¡baseboard¡¡that¡¡Johnscrubbed¡¡every¡¡Sunday£»¡¡and¡¡roughened¡¡the¡¡cupboard¡¡shelves¡¡that¡¡held¡¡the¡¡cracked¡¡and¡¡gleamingdishes¡£¡¡Under¡¡this¡¡dark¡¡weight¡¡the¡¡walls¡¡leaned£»¡¡under¡¡it¡¡the¡¡ceiling£»¡¡with¡¡a¡¡great¡¡crack¡¡likelightning¡¡in¡¡its¡¡center£»¡¡sagged¡£¡¡The¡¡windows¡¡gleamed¡¡like¡¡beaten¡¡gold¡¡or¡¡silver£»¡¡but¡¡now¡¡John¡¡saw£»in¡¡the¡¡yellow¡¡light£»¡¡how¡¡fine¡¡dust¡¡veiled¡¡their¡¡doubtful¡¡glory¡£¡¡Dirt¡¡crawled¡¡in¡¡the¡¡gray¡¡mop¡¡hungout¡¡of¡¡the¡¡windows¡¡to¡¡dry¡£¡¡John¡¡thought¡¡with¡¡shame¡¡and¡¡horror£»¡¡yet¡¡in¡¡angry¡¡hardness¡¡of¡¡heart£º¡¡Hewho¡¡is¡¡filthy£»¡¡let¡¡him¡¡be¡¡filthy¡¡still¡£¡¡Then¡¡he¡¡looked¡¡at¡¡his¡¡mother£»¡¡seeing£»¡¡as¡¡though¡¡she¡¡weresomeone¡¡else£»¡¡the¡¡dark£»¡¡hard¡¡lines¡¡running¡¡downward¡¡from¡¡her¡¡eyes£»¡¡and¡¡the¡¡deep£»¡¡perpetual¡¡scowlin¡¡her¡¡forehead£»¡¡and¡¡the¡¡downturned£»¡¡tightened¡¡mouth£»¡¡and¡¡the¡¡strong£»¡¡thin£»¡¡brown£»¡¡and¡¡bonyhands£»¡¡and¡¡the¡¡phrase¡¡turned¡¡against¡¡him¡¡like¡¡a¡¡two¡edged¡¡sword£»¡¡for¡¡was¡¡it¡¡not¡¡he£»¡¡in¡¡his¡¡falsepride¡¡and¡¡his¡¡evil¡¡imagination£»¡¡who¡¡was¡¡filthy£¿¡¡Through¡¡a¡¡storm¡¡of¡¡tears¡¡that¡¡did¡¡not¡¡reach¡¡hiseyes£»¡¡he¡¡stared¡¡at¡¡the¡¡yellow¡¡room£»¡¡and¡¡the¡¡room¡¡shifted£»¡¡the¡¡light¡¡of¡¡the¡¡sun¡¡darkened£»¡¡and¡¡hismother¡¯s¡¡face¡¡changed¡£¡¡He¡¡face¡¡became¡¡the¡¡face¡¡that¡¡he¡¡gave¡¡her¡¡in¡¡his¡¡dreams£»¡¡the¡¡face¡¡that¡¡hadbeen¡¡hers¡¡in¡¡a¡¡photograph¡¡he¡¡had¡¡seen¡¡once£»¡¡long¡¡ago£»¡¡a¡¡photograph¡¡taken¡¡before¡¡he¡¡was¡¡born¡£¡¡Thisface¡¡was¡¡young¡¡and¡¡proud£»¡¡uplifted£»¡¡with¡¡a¡¡smile¡¡that¡¡made¡¡the¡¡wide¡¡mouth¡¡beautiful¡¡and¡¡glowedin¡¡the¡¡enormous¡¡eyes¡£¡¡It¡¡was¡¡the¡¡face¡¡of¡¡a¡¡girl¡¡who¡¡knew¡¡that¡¡no¡¡evikl¡¡could¡¡undo¡¡her£»¡¡and¡¡whocould¡¡laugh£»¡¡surely£»¡¡as¡¡his¡¡mother¡¡did¡¡not¡¡laugh¡¡now¡£¡¡Between¡¡the¡¡two¡¡faces¡¡there¡¡stretched¡¡adarkness¡¡and¡¡a¡¡mystery¡¡that¡¡John¡¡feared£»¡¡and¡¡that¡¡sometimes¡¡caused¡¡him¡¡to¡¡hate¡¡her¡£
¡¡¡¡Now¡¡she¡¡saw¡¡him¡¡and¡¡she¡¡asked£»¡¡breakin
¿ì½Ý²Ù×÷: °´¼üÅÌÉÏ·½Ïò¼ü ¡û »ò ¡ú ¿É¿ìËÙÉÏÏ·ҳ °´¼üÅÌÉ쵀 Enter ¼ü¿É»Øµ½±¾ÊéĿ¼ҳ °´¼üÅÌÉÏ·½Ïò¼ü ¡ü ¿É»Øµ½±¾Ò³¶¥²¿!
ÎÂÜ°Ìáʾ£º ο´Ð¡ËµµÄͬʱ·¢±íÆÀÂÛ£¬Ëµ³ö×Ô¼ºµÄ¿´·¨ºÍÆäËüС»ï°éÃÇ·ÖÏíÒ²²»´íŶ£¡·¢±íÊéÆÀ»¹¿ÉÒÔ»ñµÃ»ý·ÖºÍ¾Ñé½±Àø£¬ÈÏÕæдԴ´ÊéÆÀ ±»²ÉÄÉΪ¾«ÆÀ¿ÉÒÔ»ñµÃ´óÁ¿½ð±Ò¡¢»ý·ÖºÍ¾Ñé½±ÀøŶ£¡