简爱(英文版)-第16部分

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After　breakfast；　Adèle　and　I　withdrew　to　the　library；　which　room；　it　appears；　Mr。　Rochester　had　directed　should　be　used　as　the　schoolroom。　Most　of　the　books　were　locked　up　behind　glass　doors；　but　there　was　one　bookcase　left　open　containing　everything　that　could　be　needed　in　the　way　of　elementary　works；　and　several　volumes　of　light　literature；　poetry；　biography；　travels；　a　few　romances；　&c。　I　suppose　he　had　considered　that　these　were　all　the　governess　would　require　for　her　private　perusal；　and；　indeed；　they　contented　me　amply　for　the　present；　pared　with　the　scanty　pickings　I　had　now　and　then　been　able　to　glean　at　Lowood；　they　seemed　to　offer　an　abundant　harvest　of　entertainment　and　information。　In　this　room；　too；　there　was　a　cabi　piano；　quite　new　and　of　superior　tone；　also　an　easel　for　painting　and　a　pair　of　globes。
I　found　my　pupil　sufficiently　docile；　though　disinclined　to　apply：　she　had　not　been　used　to　regular　occupation　of　any　kind。　I　felt　it　would　be　injudicious　to　confine　her　too　much　at　first；　so；　when　I　had　talked　to　her　a　great　deal；　and　got　her　to　learn　a　little；　and　when　the　morning　had　advanced　to　noon；　I　allowed　her　to　return　to　her　nurse。　I　then　proposed　to　occupy　myself　till　dinner…time　in　drawing　some　little　sketches　for　her　use。
As　I　was　going　upstairs　to　fetch　my　portfolio　and　pencils；　Mrs。　Fairfax　called　to　me：　“Your　morning　school…hours　are　over　now；　I　suppose；”　said　she。　She　was　in　a　room　the　folding…doors　of　which　stood　open：　I　went　in　when　she　addressed　me。　It　was　a　large；　stately　apartment；　with　purple　chairs　and　curtains；　a　Turkey　carpet；　walnut…panelled　walls；　one　vast　window　rich　in　slanted　glass；　and　a　lofty　ceiling；　nobly　moulded。　Mrs。　Fairfax　was　dusting　some　vases　of　fine　purple　spar；　which　stood　on　a　sideboard。
“What　a　beautiful　room！”　I　exclaimed；　as　I　looked　round；　for　I　had　never　before　seen　any　half　so　imposing。
“Yes；　this　is　the　dining…room。　I　have　just　opened　the　window；　to　let　in　a　little　air　and　sunshine；　for　everything　gets　so　damp　in　apartments　that　are　seldom　inhabited；　the　drawing…room　yonder　feels　like　a　vault。”
She　pointed　to　a　wide　arch　corresponding　to　the　window；　and　hung　like　it　with　a　Tyrian…dyed　curtain；　now　looped　up。　Mounting　to　it　by　two　broad　steps；　and　looking　through；　I　thought　I　caught　a　glimpse　of　a　fairy　place；　so　bright　to　my　novice…eyes　appeared　the　view　beyond。　Yet　it　was　merely　a　very　pretty　drawing…room；　and　within　it　a　boudoir；　both　spread　with　white　carpets；　on　which　seemed　laid　brilliant　garlands　of　flowers；　both　ceiled　with　snowy　mouldings　of　white　grapes　and　vine…leaves；　beneath　which　glowed　in　rich　contrast　crimson　couches　and　ottomans；　while　the　ornaments　on　the　pale　Pariain　mantelpiece　were　of　sparkling　Bohemian　glass；　ruby　red；　and　between　the　windows　large　mirrors　repeated　the　general　blending　of　snow　and　fire。
“In　what　order　you　keep　these　rooms；　Mrs。　Fairfax！”　said　I。　“No　dust；　no　canvas　coverings：　except　that　the　air　feels　chilly；　one　would　think　they　were　inhabited　daily。”
“Why；　Miss　Eyre；　though　Mr。　Rochester’s　visits　here　are　rare；　they　are　always　sudden　and　unexpected；　and　as　I　observed　that　it　put　him　out　to　find　everything　swathed　up；　and　to　have　a　bustle　of　arrangement　on　his　arrival；　I　thought　it　best　to　keep　the　rooms　in　readiness。”
“Is　Mr。　Rochester　an　exacting；　fastidious　sort　of　man？”
“Not　particularly　so；　but　he　has　a　gentleman’s　tastes　and　habits；　and　he　expects　to　have　things　managed　in　conformity　to　them。”
“Do　you　like　him？　Is　he　generally　liked？”
“Oh；　yes；　the　family　have　always　been　respected　here。　Almost　all　the　land　in　this　neighbourhood；　as　far　as　you　can　see；　has　belonged　to　the　Rochesters　time　out　of　mind。”
“Well；　but；　leaving　his　land　out　of　the　question；　do　you　like　him？　Is　he　liked　for　himself？”
“I　have　no　cause　to　do　otherwise　than　like　him；　and　I　believe　he　is　considered　a　just　and　liberal　landlord　by　his　tenants：　but　he　has　never　lived　much　amongst　them。”
“But　has　he　no　peculiarities？　What；　in　short；　is　his　character？”
“Oh！　his　character　is　unimpeachable；　I　suppose。　He　is　rather　peculiar；　perhaps：　he　has　travelled　a　great　deal；　and　seen　a　great　deal　of　the　world；　I　should　think。　I　dare　say　he　is　clever；　but　I　never　had　much　conversation　with　him。”
“In　what　way　is　he　peculiar？”
“I　don’t　know—it　is　not　easy　to　describe—nothing　striking；　but　you　feel　it　when　he　speaks　to　you；　you　cannot　be　always　sure　whether　he　is　in　jest　or　earnest；　whether　he　is　pleased　or　the　contrary；　you　don’t　thoroughly　understand　him；　in　short—at　least；　I　don’t：　but　it　is　of　no　consequence；　he　is　a　very　good　master。”
This　was　all　the　account　I　got　from　Mrs。　Fairfax　of　her　employer　and　mine。　There　are　people　who　seem　to　have　no　notion　of　sketching　a　character；　or　observing　and　describing　salient　points；　either　in　persons　or　things：　the　good　lady　evidently　belonged　to　this　class；　my　queries　puzzled；　but　did　not　draw　her　out。　Mr。　Rochester　was　Mr。　Rochester　in　her　eyes；　a　gentleman；　a　landed　proprietor—nothing　more：　she　inquired　and　searched　no　further；　and　evidently　wondered　at　my　wish　to　gain　a　more　definite　notion　of　his　identity。
When　we　left　the　dining…room；　she　proposed　to　show　me　over　the　rest　of　the　house；　and　I　followed　her　upstairs　and　downstairs；　admiring　as　I　went；　for　all　was　well　arranged　and　handsome。　The　large　front　chambers　I　thought　especially　grand：　and　some　of　the　third…storey　rooms；　though　dark　and　low；　were　interesting　from　their　air　of　antiquity。　The　furniture　once　appropriated　to　the　lower　apartments　had　from　time　to　time　been　removed　here；　as　fashions　changed：　and　the　imperfect　light　entering　by　their　narrow　casement　showed　bedsteads　of　a　hundred　years　old；　chests　in　oak　or　walnut；　looking；　with　their　strange　carvings　of　palm　branches　and　cherubs’　heads；　like　types　of　the　Hebrew　ark；　rows　of　venerable　chairs；　high…backed　and　narrow；　stools　still　more　antiquated；　on　whose　cushioned　tops　were　yet　apparent　traces　of　half…effaced　embroideries；　wrought　by　fingers　that　for　two　generations　had　been　coffin…dust。　All　these　relics　gave　to　the　third　storey　of　Thornfield　Hall　the　aspect　of　a　home　of　the　past：　a　shrine　of　memory。　I　liked　the　hush；　the　gloom；　the　quaintness　of　these　retreats　in　the　day；　but　I　by　no　means　coveted　a　night’s　repose　on　one　of　those　wide　and　heavy　beds：　shut　in；　some　of　them；　with　doors　of　oak；　shaded；　others；　with　wrought　old　English　hangings　crusted　with　thick　work；　portraying　effigies　of　strange　flowers；　and　stranger　birds；　and　strangest　human　beings；—　all　which　would　have　looked　strange；　indeed；　by　the　pallid　gleam　of　moonlight。
“Do　the　servants　sleep　in　these　rooms？”　I　asked。
“No；　they　occupy　a　range　of　smaller　apartments　to　the　back；　no　one　ever　sleeps　here：　one　would　almost　say　that；　if　there　were　a　ghost　at　Thornfield　Hall；　this　would　be　its　haunt。”
“So　I　think：　you　have　no　ghost；　then？”
“None　that　I　ever　heard　of；”　returned　Mrs。　Fairfax；　smiling。
“Nor　any　traditions　of　one？　no　legends　or　ghost　stories？”
“I　believe　not。　And　yet　it　is　said　the　Rochesters　have　been　rather　a　violent　than　a　quiet　race　in　their　time：　perhaps；　though；　that　is　the　reason　they　rest　tranquilly　in　their　graves　now。”
“Yes—‘after　life’s　fitful　fever　they　sleep　well；’”　I　muttered。　“Where　are　you　going　now；　Mrs。　Fairfax？”　for　she　was　moving　away。
“On　to　the　leads；　will　you　e　and　see　the　view　from　thence？”　I　followed　still；　up　a　very　narrow　staircase　to　the　attics；　and　thence　by　a　ladder　and　through　a　trap…door　to　the　roof　of　the　hall。　I　was　now　on　a　level　with　the　crow　colony；　and　could　see　into　their　nests。　Leaning　over　the　battlements　and　looking　far　down；　I　surveyed　the　grounds　laid　out　like　a　map：　the　bright　and　velvet　lawn　closely　girdling　the　grey　base　of　the　mansion；　the　field；　wide　as　a　park；　dotted　with　its　ancient　timber；　the　wood；　dun　and　sere；　divided　by　a　path　visibly　overgrown；　greener　with　moss　than　the　trees　were　with　foliage；　the　church　at　the　gates；　the　road；　the　tranquil　hills；　all　reposing　in　the　autumn　day’s　sun；　the　horizon　bounded　by　a　propitious　sky；　azure；　marbled　with　pearly　white。　No　feature　in　the　scene　was　extraordinary；　but　all　was　pleasing。　When　I　turned　from　it　and　repassed　the　trap…door；　I　could　scarcely　see　my　way　down　the　ladder；　the　attic　seemed　black　as　a　vault　pared　with　that　arch　of　blue　air　to　which　I　had　been　looking　up；　and　to　that　sunlit　scene　of　grove；　pasture；　and　green　hill；　of　which　the　hall　was　the　centre；　and　over　which　I　had　been　gazing　with　delight。
Mrs。　Fairfax　stayed　behind　a　moment　to　fasten　the　trap…door；　I；　by　drift　of　groping；　found　the　outlet　from　the　attic；　and　proceeded　to　descend　the　narrow　garret　staircase。　I　lingered　in　the　long　passage　to　which　this　led；　separating　the　front　and　back　rooms　of　the　third　storey：　narrow；　low；　and　dim；　with　only　one　little　window　at　the　far　end；　and　looking；　with　its　two　rows　of　small　black　doors　all　shut；　like　a　corridor　in　some　Bluebeard’s　castle。
While　I　paced　softly　on；　the　last　sound　I　expected　to　hear　in　so　still　a　region；　a　laugh；　struck　my　ear。　It　was　a　curious　laugh；　distinct；　formal；　mirthless。　I　stopped：　the　sound　ceased；　only　for　an　instant；　it　began　again；　louder：　for　at　first；　though　distinct；　it　was　very　low。　It　passed　off　in　a　clamorous　peal　that　seemed　to　wake　an　echo　in　every　lonely　chamber；　though　it　originated　but　in　one；　and　I　could　have　pointed　out　the　door　whence　the　accents　issued。
“Mrs。　Fairfax！”　I　called　out：　for　I　now　heard　her　descending　the　great　stairs。　“Did　you　hear　that　loud　laugh？　Who　is　it？”
“Some　of　the　servants；　very　likely；”　she　answered：　“perhaps　Grace　Poole。”
“Did　you　hear　it？”　I　again　inquired。
“Yes；　plainly：　I　often　hear　her：　she　sews　in　one　of　these　rooms。　Sometimes　Leah　is　with　her；　they　are　frequently　noisy　together。”
The　laugh　was　repeated　in　its　low；　syllabic　tone；　and　terminated　in　an　odd　murmur。
“Grace！”　exclaimed　Mrs。　Fairfax。
I　really　did　not　expect　any　Grace　to　answer；　for　the　laugh　was　as　tragic；　as　preternatural　a　laugh　as　any　I　ever　heard；　and；　but　that　it　was　high　noon；　and　that　no　circumstance　of　ghostliness　acpanied　the　curious　cachinnation；　but　that　neither　scene　nor　season　favoured　fear；　I　should　have　been　superstitiously　afraid。　However；　the　event　showed　me　I　was　a　fool　for　entertaining　a　sense　even　of　surprise。
The　door　nearest　me　opened；　and　a　servant　came　out；—a　woman　of　between　thirty　and　forty；　a　set；　square…made　figure；　red…haired；　and　with　a　hard；　plain　face：　any　apparition　less　romantic　or　less　ghostly　could　scarcely　be　conceived。
“Too　much　noise；　Grace；”　said　Mrs。　Fairfax。　“Remember　directions！”　Grace　curtseyed　silently　and　went　in。
“She　is　a　person　we　have　to　sew　and　assist　Leah　in　her　housemaid’s　work；”　continued　the　widow；　“not　altogether　unobjectionable　in　some　points；　but　she　does　well　enough。　By…the…bye；　how　have　you　got　on　with　your　new　pupil　this　morning？”
The　conversation；　thus　turned　on　Adèle；　continued　till　we　reached　the　light　and　cheerful　region　below。　Adèle　came　running　to　meet　us　in　the　hall；　exclaiming—
“Mesdames；　vous　etes　servies！”　adding；　“J’ai　bien　faim；　moi！”
We　found　dinner　ready；　and　waiting　for　us　in　Mrs。　Fairfax’s　room。
Chapter　12
The　promise　of　a　smooth　career；　which　my　first　calm　introduction　to　Thornfield　Hall　seemed　to　pledge；　was　not　belied　on　a　longer　acquaintance　with　the　place　and　its　inmates。　Mrs。　Fairfax　turned　out　to　be　what　she　appeared；　a　placid…tempered；　kind…natured　woman；　of　petent　education　and　average　intelligence。　My　pupil　was　a　lively　child；　who　had　been　spoilt　and　indulged；　and　therefore　was　sometimes　wayward；　but　as　she　was　mitted　entirely　to　my　care；　and　no　injudicious　interference　from　any　quarter　ever　thwarted　my　plans　for　her　improvement；　she　soon　forgot　her　little　freaks；　and　became　obedient　and　teachable。　She　had　no　great　talents；　no　marked　traits　of　character；　no　peculiar　development　of　feeling　or　taste　which　raised　her　one　inch　above　the　ordinary　level　of　childhood；　but　neither　had　she　any　deficiency　or　vice　which　sunk　her　below　it。　She　made　reasonable　progress；　entertained　for　me　a　vivacious；　though　perhaps　not　very　profound；　affection；　and　by　her　simplicity；　gay　prattle；　and　efforts　to　please；　inspired　me；　in　return；　with　a　degree　of　attachment　sufficient　to　make　us　both　content　in　each　other’s　society。
This；　par　parenthèse；　will　be　thought　cool　language　by　persons　who　entertain　solemn　doctrines　about　the　angelic　nature　of　children；　and　the　duty　of　those　charged　with　their　education　to　conceive　for　them　an　idolatrous　devotion：　but　I　am　not　writing　to　flatter　parental　egotism；　to　echo　cant；　or　prop　up　humbug；　I　am　merely　telling　the　truth。　I　felt　a　conscientious　solicitude　for　Adèle’s　welfare　and　progress；　and　a　quiet　liking　for　her　little　self：　just　as　I　cherished　towards　Mrs。　Fairfax　a　thankfulness　for　her　kindness；　and　a　pleasure　in　her　society　proportionate　to　the　tranquil　regard　she　had　for　me；　and　the　moderation　of　her　mind　and　character。
Anybody　may　blame　me　who　likes；　when　I　add　further；　that；　now　and　then；　when　I　took　a　walk　by　myself　in　the　grounds；　when　I　went　down　to　the　gates　and　looked　through　them　along　the　road；　or　when；　while　Adèle　played　with　her　nurse；　and　Mrs。　Fairfax　made　jellies　in　the　storeroom；　I　climbed　the　three　staircases；　raised　the　trap…door　of　the　attic；　and　having　reached　the　leads；　looked　out　afar　over　sequestered　field　and　hill；　and　along　dim　sky…line—that　then　I　longed　for　a　power　of　vision　which　might　overpass　that　limit；　which　might　reach　the　busy　world；　towns；　regions　full　of　life　I　had　heard　of　but　never　seen—that　then　I　desired　more　of　practical　experience　than　I　possessed；　more　of　intercourse　with　my　kind；　of　acquaintance　with　variety　of　character；　than　was　here　within　my　reach。　I　valued　what　was　good　in　Mrs。　Fairfax；　and　what　was　good　in　Adèle；　but　I　believed　in　the　existence　of　other　and　more　vivid　kinds　of　goodness；　and　what　I　believed　in　I　wished　to　behold。
Who　blames　me？　Many；　no　doubt；　and　I　shall　be　called　discontented。　I　could　not　help　it：　the　restlessness　was　in　my　nature；　it　agitated　me　to　pain　sometimes。　Then　my　sole　relief　was　to　walk　along　the　corridor　of　the　third　storey；　backwards　and　forwards；　safe　in　the　silence　and　solitude　of　the　spot；　and　allow　my　mind’s　eye　to　dwell　on　whatever　bright　visions　rose　before　it—and；　certainly；　they　were　many　and　glowing；　to　let　my　heart　be　heaved　by　the　exultant　movement；　which；　while　it　swelled　it　in　trouble；　expanded　it　with　life；　and；　best　of　all；　to　open　my　inward　ear　to　a　tale　that　was　never　ended—a　tale　my　imagination　created；　and　narrated　continuously；　quickened　with　all　of　incident；　life；　fire；　feeling；　that　I　desired　and　had　not　in　my　actual　existence。
It　is　in　vain　to　say　human　beings　ought　to　be　satisfied　ust　have　action；　and　they　will　make　it　if　they　cannot　find　it。　Millions　are　condemned　to　a　stiller　doom　than　mine；　and　millions　are　in　silent　revolt　against　their　lot。　Nobody　knows　how　many　rebellions　besides　political　rebellions　ferment　in　the　masses　of　life　which　people　earth。　Women　are　supposed　to　be　very　calm　generally：　but　women　feel　just　as　men　feel；　they　need　exercise　for　their　faculties；　and　a　field　for　their　efforts；　as　much　as　their　brothers　do；　they　suffer　from　too　rigid　a　restraint；　too　absolute　a　stagnation；　precisely　as　men　would　suffer；　and　it　is　narrow…minded　in　their　more　privileg