简爱(英文版)-第19部分

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“I　disliked　Mr。　Brocklehurst；　and　I　was　not　alone　in　the　feeling。　He　is　a　harsh　man；　at　once　pompous　and　meddling；　he　cut　off　our　hair；　and　for　economy’s　sake　bought　us　bad　needles　and　thread；　with　which　we　could　hardly　sew。”
“That　was　very　false　economy；”　remarked　Mrs。　Fairfax；　who　now　again　caught　the　drift　of　the　dialogue。
“And　was　that　the　head　and　front　of　his　offending？”　demanded　Mr。　Rochester。
“He　starved　us　when　he　had　the　sole　superintendence　of　the　provision　department；　before　the　mittee　was　appointed；　and　he　bored　us　with　long　lectures　once　a　week；　and　with　evening　readings　from　books　of　his　own　inditing；　about　sudden　deaths　and　judgments；　which　made　us　afraid　to　go　to　bed。”
“What　age　were　you　when　you　went　to　Lowood？”
“About　ten。”
“And　you　stayed　there　eight　years：　you　are　now；　then；　eighteen？”
I　assented。
“Arithmetic；　you　see；　is　useful；　without　its　aid；　I　should　hardly　have　been　able　to　guess　your　age。　It　is　a　point　difficult　to　fix　where　the　features　and　countenance　are　so　much　at　variance　as　in　your　case。　And　now　what　did　you　learn　at　Lowood？　Can　you　play？”
“A　little。”
“Of　course：　that　is　the　established　answer。　Go　into　the　library—I　mean；　if　you　please。—（Excuse　my　tone　of　mand；　I　am　used　to　say；　‘Do　this；’　and　it　is　done：　I　cannot　alter　my　customary　habits　for　one　new　inmate。）—Go；　then；　into　the　library；　take　a　candle　with　you；　leave　the　door　open；　sit　down　to　the　piano；　and　play　a　tune。”
I　departed；　obeying　his　directions。
“Enough！”　he　called　out　in　a　few　minutes。　“You　play　A　little；　I　see；　like　any　other　English　school…girl；　perhaps　rather　better　than　some；　but　not　well。”
I　closed　the　piano　and　returned。　Mr。　Rochester　continued—“Adèle　showed　me　some　sketches　this　morning；　which　she　said　were　yours。　I　don’t　know　whether　they　were　entirely　of　your　doing；　probably　a　master　aided　you？”
“No；　indeed！”　I　interjected。
“Ah！　that　pricks　pride。　Well；　fetch　me　your　portfolio；　if　you　can　vouch　for　its　contents　being　original；　but　don’t　pass　your　word　unless　you　are　certain：　I　can　recognise　patchwork。”
“Then　I　will　say　nothing；　and　you　shall　judge　for　yourself；　sir。”
I　brought　the　portfolio　from　the　library。
“Approach　the　table；”　said　he；　and　I　wheeled　it　to　his　couch。　Adèle　and　Mrs。　Fairfax　drew　near　to　see　the　pictures。
“No　crowding；”　said　Mr。　Rochester：　“take　the　drawings　from　my　hand　as　I　finish　with　them；　but　don’t　push　your　faces　up　to　mine。”
He　deliberately　scrutinised　each　sketch　and　painting。　Three　he　laid　aside；　the　others；　when　he　had　examined　them；　he　swept　from　him。
“Take　them　off　to　the　other　table；　Mrs。　Fairfax；”　said　he；　and　look　at　them　with　Adèle；—you”　（glancing　at　me）　“resume　your　seat；　and　answer　my　questions。　I　perceive　those　pictures　were　done　by　one　hand：　was　that　hand　yours？”
“Yes。”
“And　when　did　you　find　time　to　do　them？　They　have　taken　much　time；　and　some　thought。”
“I　did　them　in　the　last　two　vacations　I　spent　at　Lowood；　when　I　had　no　other　occupation。”
“Where　did　you　get　your　copies？”
“Out　of　my　head。”
“That　head　I　see　now　on　your　shoulders？”
“Yes；　sir。”
“Has　it　other　furniture　of　the　same　kind　within？”
“I　should　think　it　may　have：　I　should　hope—better。”
He　spread　the　pictures　before　him；　and　again　surveyed　them　alternately。
While　he　is　so　occupied；　I　will　tell　you；　reader；　what　they　are：　and　first；　I　must　premise　that　they　are　nothing　wonderful。　The　subjects　had；　indeed；　risen　vividly　on　my　mind。　As　I　saw　them　with　the　spiritual　eye；　before　I　attempted　to　embody　them；　they　were　striking；　but　my　hand　would　not　second　my　fancy；　and　in　each　case　it　had　wrought　out　but　a　pale　portrait　of　the　thing　I　had　conceived。
These　pictures　were　in　water…colours。　The　first　represented　clouds　low　and　livid；　rolling　over　a　swollen　sea：　all　the　distance　was　in　eclipse；　so；　too；　was　the　foreground；　or　rather；　the　nearest　billows；　for　there　was　no　land。　One　gleam　of　light　lifted　into　relief　a　half…submerged　mast；　on　which　sat　a　cormorant；　dark　and　large；　with　wings　flecked　with　foam；　its　beak　held　a　gold　bracelet　set　with　gems；　that　I　had　touched　with　as　brilliant　tints　as　my　palette　could　yield；　and　as　glittering　distinctness　as　my　pencil　could　impart。　Sinking　below　the　bird　and　mast；　a　drowned　corpse　glanced　through　the　green　water；　a　fair　arm　was　the　only　limb　clearly　visible；　whence　the　bracelet　had　been　washed　or　torn。
The　second　picture　contained　for　foreground　only　the　dim　peak　of　a　hill；　with　grass　and　some　leaves　slanting　as　if　by　a　breeze。　Beyond　and　above　spread　an　expanse　of　sky；　dark　blue　as　at　twilight：　rising　into　the　sky　was　a　woman’s　shape　to　the　bust；　portrayed　in　tints　as　dusk　and　soft　as　I　could　bine。　The　dim　forehead　was　crowned　with　a　star；　the　lineaments　below　were　seen　as　through　the　suffusion　of　vapour；　the　eyes　shone　dark　and　wild；　the　hair　streamed　shadowy；　like　a　beamless　cloud　torn　by　storm　or　by　electric　travail。　On　the　neck　lay　a　pale　reflection　like　moonlight；　the　same　faint　lustre　touched　the　train　of　thin　clouds　from　which　rose　and　bowed　this　vision　of　the　Evening　Star。
The　third　showed　the　pinnacle　of　an　iceberg　piercing　a　polar　winter　sky：　a　muster　of　northern　lights　reared　their　dim　lances；　close　serried；　along　the　horizon。　Throwing　these　into　distance；　rose；　in　the　foreground；　a　head；—a　colossal　head；　inclined　towards　the　iceberg；　and　resting　against　it。　Two　thin　hands；　joined　under　the　forehead；　and　supporting　it；　drew　up　before　the　lower　features　a　sable　veil；　a　brow　quite　bloodless；　white　as　bone；　and　an　eye　hollow　and　fixed；　blank　of　meaning　but　for　the　glassiness　of　despair；　alone　were　visible。　Above　the　temples；　amidst　wreathed　turban　folds　of　black　drapery；　vague　in　its　character　and　consistency　as　cloud；　gleamed　a　ring　of　white　flame；　gemmed　with　sparkles　of　a　more　lurid　tinge。　This　pale　crescent　was　“the　likeness　of　a　kingly　crown；”　what　it　diademed　was　“the　shape　which　shape　had　none。”
“Were　you　happy　when　you　painted　these　pictures？”　asked　Mr。　Rochester　presently。
“I　was　absorbed；　sir：　yes；　and　I　was　happy。　To　paint　them；　in　short；　was　to　enjoy　one　of　the　keenest　pleasures　I　have　ever　known。”
“That　is　not　saying　much。　Your　pleasures；　by　your　own　account；　have　been　few；　but　I　daresay　you　did　exist　in　a　kind　of　artist’s　dreamland　while　you　blent　and　arranged　these　strange　tints。　Did　you　sit　at　them　long　each　day？”
“I　had　nothing　else　to　do；　because　it　was　the　vacation；　and　I　sat　at　them　from　morning　till　noon；　and　from　noon　till　night：　the　length　of　the　midsummer　days　favoured　my　inclination　to　apply。”
“And　you　felt　self…satisfied　with　the　result　of　your　ardent　labours？”
“Far　from　it。　I　was　tormented　by　the　contrast　between　my　idea　and　my　handiwork：　in　each　case　I　had　imagined　something　which　I　was　quite　powerless　to　realise。”
“Not　quite：　you　have　secured　the　shadow　of　your　thought；　but　no　more；　probably。　You　had　not　enough　of　the　artist’s　skill　and　science　to　give　it　full　being：　yet　the　drawings　are；　for　a　school…　girl；　peculiar。　As　to　the　thoughts；　they　are　elfish。　These　eyes　in　the　Evening　Star　you　must　have　seen　in　a　dream。　How　could　you　make　them　look　so　clear；　and　yet　not　at　all　brilliant？　for　the　pla　above　quells　their　rays。　And　what　meaning　is　that　in　their　solemn　depth？　And　who　taught　you　to　paint　wind。　There　is　a　high　gale　in　that　sky；　and　on　this　hill…top。　Where　did　you　see　Latmos？　For　that　is　Latmos。　There！　put　the　drawings　away！”
I　had　scarce　tied　the　strings　of　the　portfolio；　when；　looking　at　his　watch；　he　said　abruptly—
“It　is　nine　o’clock：　what　are　you　about；　Miss　Eyre；　to　let　Adèle　sit　up　so　long？　Take　her　to　bed。”
Adèle　went　to　kiss　him　before　quitting　the　room：　he　endured　the　caress；　but　scarcely　seemed　to　relish　it　more　than　Pilot　would　have　done；　nor　so　much。
“I　wish　you　all　good…night；　now；”　said　he；　making　a　movement　of　the　hand　towards　the　door；　in　token　that　he　was　tired　of　our　pany；　and　wished　to　dismiss　us。　Mrs。　Fairfax　folded　up　her　knitting：　I　took　my　portfolio：　we　curtseyed　to　him；　received　a　frigid　bow　in　return；　and　so　withdrew。
“You　said　Mr。　Rochester　was　not　strikingly　peculiar；　Mrs。　Fairfax；”　I　observed；　when　I　rejoined　her　in　her　room；　after　putting　Adèle　to　bed。
“Well；　is　he？”
“I　think　so：　he　is　very　changeful　and　abrupt。”
“True：　no　doubt　he　may　appear　so　to　a　stranger；　but　I　am　so　accustomed　to　his　manner；　I　never　think　of　it；　and　then；　if　he　has　peculiarities　of　temper；　allowance　should　be　made。”
“Why？”
“Partly　because　it　is　his　nature—and　we　can　none　of　us　help　our　nature；　and　partly　because　he　has　painful　thoughts；　no　doubt；　to　harass　him；　and　make　his　spirits　unequal。”
“What　about？”
“Family　troubles；　for　one　thing。”
“But　he　has　no　family。”
“Not　now；　but　he　has　had—or；　at　least；　relatives。　He　lost　his　elder　brother　a　few　years　since。”
“His　elder　brother？”
“Yes。　The　present　Mr。　Rochester　has　not　been　very　long　in　possession　of　the　property；　only　about　nine　years。”
“Nine　years　is　a　tolerable　time。　Was　he　so　very　fond　of　his　brother　as　to　be　still　inconsolable　for　his　loss？”
“Why；　no—perhaps　not。　I　believe　there　were　some　misunderstandings　between　them。　Mr。　Rowland　Rochester　r。　Edward；　and　perhaps　he　prejudiced　his　father　against　him。　The　old　gentleman　was　fond　of　money；　and　anxious　to　keep　the　family　estate　together。　He　did　not　like　to　diminish　the　property　by　division；　and　yet　he　was　anxious　that　Mr。　Edward　should　have　wealth；　too；　to　keep　up　the　consequence　of　the　name；　and；　soon　after　he　was　of　age；　some　steps　were　taken　that　ade　a　great　deal　of　mischief。　Old　Mr。　Rochester　and　Mr。　Rowland　bined　to　bring　Mr。　Edward　into　what　he　considered　a　painful　position；　for　the　sake　of　making　his　fortune：　what　the　precise　nature　of　that　position　was　I　never　clearly　knew；　but　his　spirit　could　not　brook　what　he　had　to　suffer　in　it。　He　is　not　very　forgiving：　he　broke　with　his　family；　and　now　for　many　years　he　has　led　an　unsettled　kind　of　life。　I　don’t　think　he　has　ever　been　resident　at　Thornfield　for　a　fortnight　together；　since　the　death　of　his　brother　without　a　will　left　him　master　of　the　estate；　and；　indeed；　no　wonder　he　shuns　the　old　place。”
“Why　should　he　shun　it？”
“Perhaps　he　thinks　it　gloomy。”
The　answer　was　evasive。　I　should　have　liked　something　clearer；　but　Mrs。　Fairfax　either　could　not；　or　would　not；　give　me　more　explicit　information　of　the　origin　and　nature　of　Mr。　Rochester’s　trials。　She　averred　they　were　a　mystery　to　herself；　and　that　what　she　knew　was　chiefly　from　conjecture。　It　was　evident；　indeed；　that　she　wished　me　to　drop　the　subject；　which　I　did　accordingly。
Chapter　14
For　several　subsequent　days　I　saw　little　of　Mr。　Rochester。　In　the　mornings　he　seemed　much　engaged　with　business；　and；　in　the　afternoon；　gentlemen　from　Millcote　or　the　neighbourhood　called；　and　sometimes　stayed　to　dine　with　him。　When　his　sprain　was　well　enough　to　admit　of　horse　exercise；　he　rode　out　a　good　deal；　probably　to　return　these　visits；　as　he　generally　did　not　e　back　till　late　at　night。
During　this　interval；　even　Adèle　was　seldom　sent　for　to　his　presence；　and　all　my　acquaintance　with　him　was　confined　to　an　occasional　rencontre　in　the　hall；　on　the　stairs；　or　in　the　gallery；　when　he　would　sometimes　pass　me　haughtily　and　coldly；　just　acknowledging　my　presence　by　a　distant　nod　or　a　cool　glance；　and　sometimes　bow　and　smile　with　gentlemanlike　affability。　His　changes　of　mood　did　not　offend　me；　because　I　saw　that　I　had　nothing　to　do　with　their　alternation；　the　ebb　and　flow　depended　on　causes　quite　disconnected　with　me。
One　day　he　had　had　pany　to　dinner；　and　had　sent　for　my　portfolio；　in　order；　doubtless；　to　exhibit　its　contents：　the　gentlemen　went　away　early；　to　attend　a　public　meeting　at　Millcote；　as　Mrs。　Fairfax　informed　me；　but　the　night　being　wet　and　inclement；　Mr。　Rochester　did　not　acpany　them。　Soon　after　they　were　gone　he　rang　the　bell：　a　message　came　that　I　and　Adèle　were　to　go　downstairs。　I　brushed　Adèle’s　hair　and　made　her　neat；　and　having　ascertained　that　I　was　myself　in　my　usual　Quaker　trim；　where　there　was　nothing　to　retouch—　all　being　too　close　and　plain；　braided　locks　included；　to　admit　of　disarrangement—we　descended；　Adèle　wondering　whether　the　petit　coffre　was　at　length　e；　for；　owing　to　some　mistake；　its　arrival　had　hitherto　been　delayed。　She　was　gratified：　there　it　stood；　a　little　carton；　on　the　table　when　we　entered　the　dining…room。　She　appeared　to　know　it　by　instinct。
“Ma　boite！　ma　boite！”　exclaimed　she；　running　towards　it。
“Yes；　there　is　your　‘boite’　at　last：　take　it　into　a　corner；　you　genuine　daughter　of　Paris；　and　amuse　yourself　with　disembowelling　it；”　said　the　deep　and　rather　sarcastic　voice　of　Mr。　Rochester；　proceeding　from　the　depths　of　an　immense　easy…chair　at　the　fireside。　“And　mind；”　he　continued；　“don’t　bother　me　with　any　details　of　the　anatomical　process；　or　any　notice　of　the　condition　of　the　entrails：　let　your　operation　be　conducted　in　silence：　tiens…toi　tranquille；　enfant；　prends…tu？”
Adèle　seemed　scarcely　to　need　the　warning—she　had　already　retired　to　a　sofa　with　her　treasure；　and　was　busy　untying　the　cord　which　secured　the　lid。　Having　removed　this　impediment；　and　lifted　certain　silvery　envelopes　of　tissue　paper；　she　merely　exclaimed—
“Oh　ciel！　Que　c’est　beau！”　and　then　remained　absorbed　in　ecstatic　contemplation。
“Is　Miss　Eyre　there？”　now　demanded　the　master；　half　rising　from　his　seat　to　look　round　to　the　door；　near　which　I　still　stood。
“Ah！　well；　e　forward；　be　seated　here。”　He　drew　a　chair　near　his　own。　“I　am　not　fond　of　the　prattle　of　children；”　he　continued；　“for；　old　bachelor　as　I　am；　I　have　no　pleasant　associations　connected　with　their　lisp。　It　would　be　intolerable　to　me　to　pass　a　whole　evening　tête…à…tête　with　a　brat。　Don’t　draw　that　chair　farther　off；　Miss　Eyre；　sit　down　exactly　where　I　placed　it—if　you　please；　that　is。　Confound　these　civilities！　I　continually　forget　them。　Nor　do　I　particularly　affect　simple…minded　old　ladies。　By…　the…bye；　I　must　have　mine　in　mind；　it　won’t　do　to　neglect　her；　she　is　a　Fairfax；　or　wed　to　one；　and　blood　is　said　to　be　thicker　than　water。”
He　rang；　and　despatched　an　invitation　to　Mrs。　Fairfax；　who　soon　arrived；　knitting…basket　in　hand。
“Good　evening；　madam；　I　sent　to　you　for　a　charitable　purpose。　I　have　forbidden　Adèle　to　talk　to　me　about　her　presents；　and　she　is　bursting　with　repletion：　have　the　goodness　to　serve　her　as　auditress　and　interlocutrice；　it　will　be　one　of　the　most　benevolent　acts　you　ever　performed。”
Adèle；　indeed；　no　sooner　saw　Mrs。　Fairfax；　than　she　summoned　her　to　her　sofa；　and　there　quickly　filled　her　lap　with　the　porcelain；　the　ivory；　the　waxen　contents　of　her　“boite；”　pouring　out；　meantime；　explanations　and　raptures　in　such　broken　English　as　she　was　mistress　of。
“Now　I　have　performed　the　part　of　a　good　host；”　pursued　Mr。　Rochester；　“put　my　guests　into　the　way　of　amusing　each　other；　I　ought　to　be　at　liberty　to　attend　to　my　own　pleasure。　Miss　Eyre；　draw　your　chair　still　a　little　farther　forward：　you　are　yet　too　far　back；　I　cannot　see　you　without　disturbing　my　position　in　this　fortable　chair；　which　I　have　no　mind　to　do。”
I　did　as　I　was　bid；　though　I　would　much　rather　have　remained　somewhat　in　the　shade；　but　Mr。　Rochester　had　such　a　direct　way　of　giving　orders；　it　seemed　a　matter　of　course　to　obey　him　promptly。
We　were；　as　I　have　said；　in　the　dini