简爱(英文版)-第30部分

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“Yes；　just　so；　in　your　circumstances：　but　find　me　another　precisely　placed　as　you　are。”
“It　would　be　easy　to　find　you　thousands。”
“You　could　scarcely　find　me　one。　If　you　knew　it；　you　are　peculiarly　situated：　very　near　happiness；　yes；　within　reach　of　it。　The　materials　are　all　prepared；　there　only　wants　a　movement　to　bine　them。　Chance　laid　them　somewhat　apart；　let　them　be　once　approached　and　bliss　results。”
“I　don’t　understand　enigmas。　I　never　could　guess　a　riddle　in　my　life。”
“If　you　wish　me　to　speak　more　plainly；　show　me　your　palm。”
“And　I　must　cross　it　with　silver；　I　suppose？”
“To　be　sure。”
I　gave　her　a　shilling：　she　put　it　into　an　old　stocking…foot　which　she　took　out　of　her　pocket；　and　having　tied　it　round　and　returned　it；　she　told　me　to　hold　out　my　hand。　I　did。　She　ached　her　face　to　the　palm；　and　pored　over　it　without　touching　it。
“It　is　too　fine；”　said　she。　“I　can　make　nothing　of　such　a　hand　as　that；　almost　without　lines：　besides；　what　is　in　a　palm？　Destiny　is　not　written　there。”
“I　believe　you；”　said　I。
“No；”　she　continued；　“it　is　in　the　face：　on　the　forehead；　about　the　eyes；　in　the　lines　of　the　mouth。　Kneel；　and　lift　up　your　head。”
“Ah！　now　you　are　ing　to　reality；”　I　said；　as　I　obeyed　her。　“I　shall　begin　to　put　some　faith　in　you　presently。”
I　knelt　within　half　a　yard　of　her。　She　stirred　the　fire；　so　that　a　ripple　of　light　broke　from　the　disturbed　coal：　the　glare；　however；　as　she　sat；　only　threw　her　face　into　deeper　shadow：　mine；　it　illumined。
“I　wonder　with　what　feelings　you　came　to　me　to…night；”　she　said；　when　she　had　examined　me　a　while。　“I　wonder　what　thoughts　are　busy　in　your　heart　during　all　the　hours　you　sit　in　yonder　room　with　the　fine　people　flitting　before　you　like　shapes　in　a　magic…lantern：　just　as　little　sympathetic　munion　passing　between　you　and　them　as　if　they　were　really　mere　shadows　of　human　forms；　and　not　the　actual　substance。”
“I　feel　tired　often；　sleepy　sometimes；　but　seldom　sad。”
“Then　you　have　some　secret　hope　to　buoy　you　up　and　please　you　with　whispers　of　the　future？”
“Not　I。　The　utmost　I　hope　is；　to　save　money　enough　out　of　my　earnings　to　set　up　a　school　some　day　in　a　little　house　rented　by　myself。”
“A　mean　nutriment　for　the　spirit　to　exist　on：　and　sitting　in　that　window…seat　（you　see　I　know　your　habits　）—”
“You　have　learned　them　from　the　servants。”
“Ah！　you　think　yourself　sharp。　Well；　perhaps　I　have：　to　speak　truth；　I　have　an　acquaintance　with　one　of　them；　Mrs。　Poole—”
I　started　to　my　feet　when　I　heard　the　name。
“You　have—have　you？”　thought　I；　“there　is　diablerie　in　the　business　after　all；　then！”
“Don’t　be　alarmed；”　continued　the　strange　being；　“she’s　a　safe　hand　is　Mrs。　Poole：　close　and　quiet；　any　one　may　repose　confidence　in　her。　But；　as　I　was　saying：　sitting　in　that　window…seat；　do　you　think　of　nothing　but　your　future　school？　Have　you　no　present　interest　in　any　of　the　pany　who　occupy　the　sofas　and　chairs　before　you？　Is　there　not　one　face　you　study？　one　figure　whose　movements　you　follow　with　at　least　curiosity？”
“I　like　to　observe　all　the　faces　and　all　the　figures。”
“But　do　you　never　single　one　from　the　rest—or　it　may　be；　two？”
“I　do　frequently；　when　the　gestures　or　looks　of　a　pair　seem　telling　a　tale：　it　amuses　me　to　watch　them。”
“What　tale　do　you　like　best　to　hear？”
“Oh；　I　have　not　much　choice！　They　generally　run　on　the　same　theme—　courtship；　and　promise　to　end　in　the　same　catastrophe—marriage。”
“And　do　you　like　that　monotonous　theme？”
“Positively；　I　don’t　care　about　it：　it　is　nothing　to　me。”
“Nothing　to　you？　When　a　lady；　young　and　full　of　life　and　health；　charming　with　beauty　and　endowed　with　the　gifts　of　rank　and　fortune；　sits　and　smiles　in　the　eyes　of　a　gentleman　you—”
“I　what？”
“You　know—and　perhaps　think　well　of。”
“I　don’t　know　the　gentlemen　here。　I　have　scarcely　interchanged　a　syllable　with　one　of　them；　and　as　to　thinking　well　of　them；　I　consider　some　respectable；　and　stately；　and　middle…aged；　and　others　young；　dashing；　handsome；　and　lively：　but　certainly　they　are　all　at　liberty　to　be　the　recipients　of　whose　smiles　they　please；　without　my　feeling　disposed　to　consider　the　transaction　of　any　moment　to　me。”
“You　don’t　know　the　gentlemen　here？　You　have　not　exchanged　a　syllable　with　one　of　them？　Will　you　say　that　of　the　master　of　the　house！”
“He　is　not　at　home。”
“A　profound　remark！　A　most　ingenious　quibble！　He　went　to　Millcote　this　morning；　and　will　be　back　here　to…night　or　to…morrow：　does　that　circumstance　exclude　him　from　the　list　of　your　acquaintance—　blot　him；　as　it　were；　out　of　existence？”
“No；　but　I　can　scarcely　see　what　Mr。　Rochester　has　to　do　with　the　theme　you　had　introduced。”
“I　was　talking　of　ladies　smiling　in　the　eyes　of　gentlemen；　and　of　late　so　many　smiles　have　been　shed　into　Mr。　Rochester’s　eyes　that　they　overflow　like　two　cups　filled　above　the　brim：　have　you　never　remarked　that？”
“Mr。　Rochester　has　a　right　to　enjoy　the　society　of　his　guests。”
“No　question　about　his　right：　but　have　you　never　observed　that；　of　all　the　tales　told　here　about　matrimony；　Mr。　Rochester　has　been　favoured　with　the　most　lively　and　the　most　continuous？”
“The　eagerness　of　a　listener　quickens　the　tongue　of　a　narrator。”　I　said　this　rather　to　myself　than　to　the　gipsy；　whose　strange　talk；　voice；　manner；　had　by　this　time　wrapped　me　in　a　kind　of　dream。　One　unexpected　sentence　came　from　her　lips　after　another；　till　I　got　involved　in　a　web　of　mystification；　and　wondered　what　unseen　spirit　had　been　sitting　for　weeks　by　my　heart　watching　its　workings　and　taking　record　of　every　pulse。
“Eagerness　of　a　listener！”　repeated　she：　“yes；　Mr。　Rochester　has　sat　by　the　hour；　his　ear　inclined　to　the　fascinating　lips　that　took　such　delight　in　their　task　of　municating；　and　Mr。　Rochester　was　so　willing　to　receive　and　looked　so　grateful　for　the　pastime　given　him；　you　have　noticed　this？”
“Grateful！　I　cannot　remember　detecting　gratitude　in　his　face。”
“Detecting！　You　have　analysed；　then。　And　what　did　you　detect；　if　not　gratitude？”
I　said　nothing。
“You　have　seen　love：　have　you　not？—and；　looking　forward；　you　have　seen　him　married；　and　beheld　his　bride　happy？”
“Humph！　Not　exactly。　Your　witch’s　skill　is　rather　at　fault　sometimes。”
“What　the　devil　have　you　seen；　then？”
“Never　mind：　I　came　here　to　inquire；　not　to　confess。　Is　it　known　that　Mr。　Rochester　is　to　be　married？”
“Yes；　and　to　the　beautiful　Miss　Ingram。”
“Shortly？”
“Appearances　would　warrant　that　conclusion：　and；　no　doubt　（though；　with　an　audacity　that　wants　chastising　out　of　you；　you　seem　to　question　it）；　they　will　be　a　superlatively　happy　pair。　He　must　love　such　a　handsome；　noble；　witty；　acplished　lady；　and　probably　she　loves　him；　or；　if　not　his　person；　at　least　his　purse。　I　know　she　considers　the　Rochester　estate　eligible　to　the　last　degree；　though　（God　pardon　me！）　I　told　her　something　on　that　point　about　an　hour　ago　which　made　her　look　wondrous　grave：　the　corners　of　her　mouth　fell　half　an　inch。　I　would　advise　her　blackaviced　suitor　to　look　out：　if　another　es；　with　a　longer　or　clearer　rent…roll；—he’s　dished—”
“But；　mother；　I　did　not　e　to　hear　Mr。　Rochester’s　fortune：　I　came　to　hear　my　own；　and　you　have　told　me　nothing　of　it。”
“Your　fortune　is　yet　doubtful：　when　I　examined　your　face；　one　trait　contradicted　another。　Chance　has　meted　you　a　measure　of　happiness：　that　I　know。　I　knew　it　before　I　came　here　this　evening。　She　has　laid　it　carefully　on　one　side　for　you。　I　saw　her　do　it。　It　depends　on　yourself　to　stretch　out　your　hand；　and　take　it　up：　but　whether　you　will　do　so；　is　the　problem　I　study。　Kneel　again　on　the　rug。”
“Don’t　keep　me　long；　the　fire　scorches　me。”
I　knelt。　She　did　not　stoop　towards　me；　but　only　gazed；　leaning　back　in　her　chair。　She　began　muttering；—
“The　flame　flickers　in　the　eye；　the　eye　shines　like　dew；　it　looks　soft　and　full　of　feeling；　it　smiles　at　my　jargon：　it　is　susceptible；　impression　follows　impression　through　its　clear　sphere；　where　it　ceases　to　smile；　it　is　sad；　an　unconscious　lassitude　weighs　on　the　lid：　that　signifies　melancholy　resulting　from　loneliness。　It　turns　from　me；　it　will　not　suffer　further　scrutiny；　it　seems　to　deny；　by　a　mocking　glance；　the　truth　of　the　discoveries　I　have　already　made；—to　disown　the　charge　both　of　sensibility　and　chagrin：　its　pride　and　reserve　only　confirm　me　in　my　opinion。　The　eye　is　favourable。
“As　to　the　mouth；　it　delights　at　times　in　laughter；　it　is　disposed　to　impart　all　that　the　brain　conceives；　though　I　daresay　it　would　be　silent　on　much　the　heart　experiences。　Mobile　and　flexible；　it　was　never　intended　to　be　pressed　in　the　eternal　silence　of　solitude：　it　is　a　mouth　which　should　speak　much　and　smile　often；　and　have　human　affection　for　its　interlocutor。　That　feature　too　is　propitious。
“I　see　no　enemy　to　a　fortunate　issue　but　in　the　brow；　and　that　brow　professes　to　say；—‘I　can　live　alone；　if　self…respect；　and　circumstances　require　me　so　to　do。　I　need　not　sell　my　soul　to　buy　bliss。　I　have　an　inward　treasure　born　with　me；　which　can　keep　me　alive　if　all　extraneous　delights　should　be　withheld；　or　offered　only　at　a　price　I　cannot　afford　to　give。’　The　forehead　declares；　‘Reason　sits　firm　and　holds　the　reins；　and　she　will　not　let　the　feelings　burst　away　and　hurry　her　to　wild　chasms。　The　passions　may　rage　furiously；　like　true　heathens；　as　they　are；　and　the　desires　may　imagine　all　sorts　of　vain　things：　but　judgment　shall　still　have　the　last　word　in　every　argument；　and　the　casting　vote　in　every　decision。　Strong　wind；　earthquake…shock；　and　fire　may　pass　by：　but　I　shall　follow　the　guiding　of　that　still　small　voice　which　interprets　the　dictates　of　conscience。’
“Well　said；　forehead；　your　declaration　shall　be　respected。　I　have　formed　my　plans—right　plans　I　deem　them—and　in　them　I　have　attended　to　the　claims　of　conscience；　the　counsels　of　reason。　I　know　how　soon　youth　would　fade　and　bloom　perish；　if；　in　the　cup　of　bliss　offered；　but　one　dreg　of　shame；　or　one　flavour　of　remorse　were　detected；　and　I　do　not　want　sacrifice；　sorrow；　dissolution—such　is　not　my　taste。　I　wish　to　foster；　not　to　blight—to　earn　gratitude；　not　to　wring　tears　of　blood—no；　nor　of　brine：　my　harvest　must　be　in　smiles；　in　endearments；　in　sweet—　That　will　do。　I　think　I　rave　in　a　kind　of　exquisite　delirium。　I　should　wish　now　to　protract　this　moment　ad　infinitum；　but　I　dare　not。　So　far　I　have　governed　myself　thoroughly。　I　have　acted　as　I　inwardly　swore　I　would　act；　but　further　might　try　me　beyond　my　strength。　Rise；　Miss　Eyre：　leave　me；　the　play　is　played　out’。”
Where　was　I？　Did　I　wake　or　sleep？　Had　I　been　dreaming？　Did　I　dream　still？　The　old　woman’s　voice　had　changed：　her　accent；　her　gesture；　and　all　were　familiar　to　me　as　my　own　face　in　a　glass—as　the　speech　of　my　own　tongue。　I　got　up；　but　did　not　go。　I　looked；　I　stirred　the　fire；　and　I　looked　again：　but　she　drew　her　bon　and　her　bandage　closer　about　her　face；　and　again　beckoned　me　to　depart。　The　flame　illuminated　her　hand　stretched　out：　roused　now；　and　on　the　alert　for　discoveries；　I　at　once　noticed　that　hand。　It　was　no　more　the　withered　limb　of　eld　than　my　own；　it　was　a　rounded　supple　member；　with　smooth　fingers；　symmetrically　turned；　a　broad　ring　flashed　on　the　little　finger；　and　stooping　forward；　I　looked　at　it；　and　saw　a　gem　I　had　seen　a　hundred　times　before。　Again　I　looked　at　the　face；　which　was　no　longer　turned　from　me—on　the　contrary；　the　bon　was　doffed；　the　bandage　displaced；　the　head　advanced。
“Well；　Jane；　do　you　know　me？”　asked　the　familiar　voice。
“Only　take　off　the　red　cloak；　sir；　and　then—”
“But　the　string　is　in　a　knot—help　me。”
“Break　it；　sir。”
“There；　then—‘Off；　ye　lendings！’”　And　Mr。　Rochester　stepped　out　of　his　disguise。
“Now；　sir；　what　a　strange　idea！”
“But　well　carried　out；　eh？　Don’t　you　think　so？”
“With　the　ladies　you　must　have　managed　well。”
“But　not　with　you？”
“You　did　not　act　the　character　of　a　gipsy　with　me。”
“What　character　did　I　act？　My　own？”
“No；　some　unaccountable　one。　In　short；　I　believe　you　have　been　trying　to　draw　me　out—or　in；　you　have　been　talking　nonsense　to　make　me　talk　nonsense。　It　is　scarcely　fair；　sir。”
“Do　you　forgive　me；　Jane？”
“I　cannot　tell　till　I　have　thought　it　all　over。　If；　on　reflection；　I　find　I　have　fallen　into　no　great　absurdity；　I　shall　try　to　forgive　you；　but　it　was　not　right。”
“Oh；　you　have　been　very　correct—very　careful；　very　sensible。”
I　reflected；　and　thought；　on　the　whole；　I　had。　It　was　a　fort；　but；　indeed；　I　had　been　on　my　guard　almost　from　the　beginning　of　the　interview。　Something　of　masquerade　I　suspected。　I　knew　gipsies　and　fortune…tellers　did　not　express　themselves　as　this　seeming　old　woman　had　expressed　herself；　besides　I　had　noted　her　feigned　voice；　her　anxiety　to　conceal　her　features。　But　my　mind　had　been　running　on　Grace　Poole—that　living　enigma；　that　mystery　of　mysteries；　as　I　considered　her。　I　had　never　thought　of　Mr。　Rochester。
“Well；”　said　he；　“what　are　you　musing　about？　What　does　that　grave　smile　signify？”
“Wonder　and　self…congratulation；　sir。　I　have　your　permission　to　retire　now；　I　suppose？”
“No；　stay　a　moment；　and　tell　me　what　the　people　in　the　drawing…room　yonder　are　doing。”
“Discussing　the　gipsy；　I　daresay。”
“Sit　down！—Let　me　hear　what　they　said　about　me。”
“I　had　better　not　stay　long；　sir；　it　must　be　near　eleven　o’clock。　Oh；　are　you　aware；　Mr。　Rochester；　that　a　stranger　has　arrived　here　since　you　left　this　morning？”
“A　stranger！—no；　who　can　it　be？　I　expected　no　one；　is　he　gone？”
“No；　he　said　he　had　known　you　long；　and　that　he　could　take　the　liberty　of　installing　himself　here　till　you　returned。”
“The　devil　he　did！　Did　he　give　his　name？”
“His　name　is　Mason；　sir；　and　he　es　from　the　West　Indies；　from　Spanish　Town；　in　Jamaica；　I　think。”
Mr。　Rochester　was　standing　near　me；　he　had　taken　my　hand；　as　if　to　lead　me　to　a　chair。　As　I　spoke　he　gave　my　wrist　a　convulsive　grip；　the　smile　on　his　lips　froze：　apparently　a　spasm　caught　his　breath。
“Mason！—the　West　Indies！”　he　said；　in　the　tone　one　might　fancy　a　speaking　automaton　to　enounce　its　single　words；　“Mason！—the　West　Indies！”　he　reiterated；　and　he　went　over　the　syllables　three　times；　growing；　in　the　intervals　of　speaking；　whiter　than　ashes：　he　hardly　seemed　to　know　what　he　was　doing。
“Do　you　feel　ill；　sir？”　I　inquired。
“Jane；　I’ve　got　a　blow；　I’ve　got　a　blow；　Jane！”　He　staggered。
“Oh；　lean　on　me；　sir。”
“Jane；　you　offered　me　your　shoulder　once　before；　let　me　have　it　now。”
“Yes；　sir；　yes；　and　my　arm。”
He　sat　down；　and　made　me　sit　beside　him。　Holding　my　hand　in　both　his　own；　he　chafed　it；　gazing　on　me；　at　the　same　time；　with　the　most　troubled　and　dreary　look。
“My　little　friend！”　said　he；　“I　wish　I　were　in　a　quiet　island　with　only　you；　and　trouble；　and　danger；　and　hideous　recollections　removed　from　me。”
“Can　I　help　you；　sir？—I’d　give　my　life　to　serve　you。”
“Jane；　if　aid　is　wanted；　I’ll　seek　it　at　your　hands；　I　promise　you　that。”
“Thank　you；　sir。　Tell　me　what　to　do；—I’ll　try；　at　least；　to　do　it。”
“Fetch　me　now；　Jane；　a　glass　of　wine　from　the　dining…room：　they　will　be　at　supper　there；　and　tell　me　if　Mason　is　with　them；　and　what　he　is　doing。”
I　went。　I　found　all　the　party　in　the　dining…room　at　supper；　as　Mr。　Rochester　had　said；　they　were　not　seated　at　table；—the　supper　was　arranged　on　the　sideboard；　e