tg.wizardfirstrule-第16部分

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　〃You　still　have　not　told　me　what　a　Seeker　is。　Or　my　part　in　this。〃
　
　Zedd　folded　his　hands　together。　〃A　Seeker　is　a　person　who　answers　to　no　one　but　himself；　he　is　a　law　unto　himself。　The　Sword　of　Truth　is　his　to　wield　as　he　wishes；　and　within　the　limits　of　his　own　strength；　he　can　hold　anyone　to　answer　for　anything。〃　Zedd　held　up　his　hand　to　forestall　Richard's　objections　and　questions。　〃I　realize　this　is　vague。　The　problem　with　explaining　it　is　that　it　is　like　all　power。　As　I　told　you　before；　it's　how　the　person　uses　power　that　makes　it　what　it　is。　This　is　the　core　of　why　it　is　so　important　to　find　the　right　person；　a　person　who　will　use　the　power　wisely。　You　see；　Richard；　a　Seeker　does　exactly　as　the　name　implies；　he　seeks。　He　seeks　the　answers　to　things。　Things　of　his　own　choosing。　If　he　is　the　right　person；　he　will　seek　the　answers　that　will　help　others；　not　just　himself。　The　whole　purpose　of　a　Seeker　is　to　be　free　to　quest　on　his　own；　to　go　where　he　wants；　ask　what　he　wants；　learn　what　he　wants；　find　answers　to　what　he　wants　to　know；　and　if　need　be；　do　whatever　it　is　the　answers　demand。〃
　
　Richard　straightened；　his　voice　rising。　〃Are　you　telling　me　a　Seeker　is　an　assassin？〃　〃I　won't　lie　to　you；　Richard；　there　have　been　times　when　it　has　turned　out　that　way。〃
　
　Richard's　face　was　crimson。　〃I　will　not　be　an　assassin？〃
　
　Zedd　shrugged。　〃As　I　said；　a　Seeker　is　whatever　he　wants。　Ideally；　a　Seeker　is　the　standard…bearer　of　Justice。　I　can't　tell　you　much　more；　because　I've　never　been　one。　I　don't　know　what　goes　on　in　their　heads；　however；　I　know　the　proper　kind　of　person。〃
　
　Zedd　pushed　his　sleeves　up　again　while　he　watched　Richard。　〃But　I　don't　pick　a　Seeker；　Richard。　A　true　Seeker　picks　himself。　I　only　name　them。　You　have　been　a　Seeker　for　years　without　knowing　it。　I　have　watched　you；　and　that　is　what　you　do。　You　are　always　seeking　the　truth。　What　do　you　think　you　were　doing　in　the　high　Ven？　You　were　seeking　the　answer　to　the　vine；　to　your　father's　murder。　You　could　have　left　that　to　others；　others　more　qualified；　and　as　it　turned　out；　perhaps　you　should　have；　but　that　would　have　been　against　your　nature；　the　nature　of　a　Seeker。　They　don't　leave　it　to　others；　because　they　want　to　know　for　themselves。　When　Kahlan　told　you　she　was　looking　for　a　wizard　who　was　lost　since　before　she　was　born；　you　had　to　know　who　it　was；　and　you　found　him。〃
　
　〃But　that's　only　because　。　。　。〃
　
　Zedd　cut　him　off。　〃It　doesn't　matter。　It's　irrelevant。　Only　one　thing　matters：　that　you　did　it。　I　saved　you　with　the　root　I　found。　Does　it　matter　that　it　was　easy　for　me　to　find　the　root？　No。　Would　you　be　any　more　alive　if　it　had　been　extremely　difficult　for　me　to　find　the　root？　No。　I　found　the　root；　you　are　well。　That　is　all　that　matters。　Same　with　the　Seeker。　It's　of　no　importance　how　he　finds　an　answer；　only　that　he　does。　As　I　said；　there　are　no　rules。　Right　now　there　are　answers　you　must　find。　I　don't　know　how　you　will　do　so；　and　I　don't　care；　only　that　you　do。　If　you　say；　‘Oh；　that's　simple；'　all　the　better；　as　we　don't　have　much　time。〃
　
　Richard's　guard　went　up。　〃What　answers？〃
　
　Zedd　smiled；　and　his　eyes　sparkled。　〃I　have　a　plan；　but　you　must　first　find　a　way　to　get　us　across　the　boundary。〃
　
　〃What！〃　Richard　ran　his　fingers　through　his　hair　in　exasperation；　muttering　his　disbelief　under　his　breath。　He　looked　back　to　Zedd。　〃You're　a　wizard；　you　had　something　to　do　with　putting　the　boundary　there　in　the　first　place。　You　have　just　said　you　have　been　through　it　to　retrieve　the　sword。　Kahlan　has　e　through　the　boundary；　sent　by　wizards。　I　know　nothing　of　the　boundary！　If　you　expect　me　to　find　you　the　answer；　well；　here　it　is：　Zedd；　you　are　a　wizard；　send　us　through　the　boundary！〃
　
　Zedd　shook　his　head。　〃No。　I　said　across　the　boundary；　not　through　it。　I　know　how　to　go　through　it；　but　we　can't　do　that。　Rahl　waits　for　us　to　do　so。　If　we　try　to　go　through；　he　will　kill　us。　If　we　are　lucky。　We　must　instead　go　across　it；　without　going　through　it。　There　is　a　big　difference。〃
　
　〃Zedd；　I'm　sorry；　but　it's　impossible。　I　don't　know　anything　about　how　to　get　us　across。　I　don't　see　how　it　can　be　done。　The　boundary　is　the　underworld。　If　we　can't　go　through　it；　then　we　are　stuck　here。　The　whole　purpose　of　the　boundary　is　to　prevent　anyone　from　doing　just　what　you　are　asking　me　to　do。〃　Richard　felt　helpless。　They　were　depending　on　him；　and　he　didn't　have　any　answers。
　
　Zedd's　voice　was　kind　and　gentle。　〃Richard；　you　are　too　quick　to　criticize　yourself。　What　is　it　you　say　when　I　ask　how　you　must　solve　difficult　problems？〃
　
　Richard　knew　what　Zedd　was　talking　about；　but　was　reluctant　to　answer；　as　he　felt　answering　only　pulled　him　in　deeper。　Zedd　lifted　an　eyebrow；　waiting。　Richard　looked　down　at　the　table；　picking　at　the　wood　with　his　thumbnail。　〃Think　of　the　solution；　not　the　problem。〃
　
　〃And　right　now　you　are　doing　it　backwards。　You　are　only　concentrating　on　why　the　problem　is　impossible。　You　are　not　thinking　of　the　solution。〃
　
　Richard　knew　Zedd　was　right；　but　there　was　more　to　it。　〃Zedd；　I　don't　think　I'm　qualified　to　be　Seeker。　I　don't　know　anything　about　the　Midlands。〃
　
　〃Sometimes　it　is　easier　to　make　a　decision　if　you　aren't　burdened　with　a　knowledge　of　history；〃　the　wizard　said　cryptically。
　
　Richard　let　out　a　deep　breath。　〃I　don't　know　the　place。　I'd　be　lost　there。〃
　
　Kahlan　put　her　hand　on　his　forearm。　〃No；　you　wouldn't。　I　know　the　Midlands　better　than　almost　anyone。　I　know　where　it　is　safe　and　where　it　is　not。　I'll　be　your　guide。　You　will　not　be　lost。　I　promise　you　that　much。〃
　
　Richard　looked　away　from　her　green　eyes　and　down　at　the　table。　It　hurt　to　think　that　he　might　disappoint　her；　but　her　faith；　and　Zedd's；　didn't　seem　justified。　He　didn't　know　anything　about　the　Midlands；　or　the　magic；　or　how　to　find　some　boxes；　or　how　to　stop　Darken　Rahl。　He　didn't　know　how　to　do　any　of　it！　And　for　the　first　trick；　he　was　supposed　to　get　them　across　the　boundary！
　
　〃Richard；　I　know　you　think　I'm　thrusting　this　responsibility　on　you　unwisely；　but　it　is　not　me　who　chooses　you。　You　are　the　one　who　has　shown　himself　to　be　the。　Seeker。　I　have　only　recognized　the　fact。　I　have　been　a　wizard　a　long　time。　You　don't　know　what　that　entails；　but　you　have　to　trust　me　when　I　say　that　I'm　qualified　to　recognize　the　one。〃　Zedd　reached　across　the　table；　across　the　sword；　and　put　his　hand　on　Richard's。　His　eyes　were　somber。　〃Darken　Rahl　hunts　you。　Personally。　The　only　reason　I　can　fathom　for　this　is　that　with　the　insight　he　has　gained　from　the　magic　of　Orden；　he　too　knows　you　to　be　the　one　and　so　searches　you　out；　to　eliminate　the　threat。〃
　
　Richard　blinked　in　surprise。　Maybe　Zedd　was　right。　Maybe　this　was　the　reason　Rahl　hunted　him。　Or　maybe　not。　Zedd　didn't　know　about　the　book。　He　felt　as　if　his　mind　would　explode　with　all　the　things　filling　his　head；　and　suddenly　he　couldn't　sit　anymore。　He　stood　up　and　began　pacing；　thinking。　Zedd　folded　his　arms　across　his　chest。　Kahlan　leaned　an　elbow　on　the　table。　Both　watched　in　silence　as　he　paced。
　
　The　wisp　had　said　to　seek　the　answer　or　die。　It　didn't　say　it　was　necessary　to　bee　this　Seeker。　He　could　find　the　answers　in　his　own　way；　as　he　always　had。　He　hadn't　needed　the　sword　to　figure　out　who　the　wizard　was；　although　it　hadn't　been　that　hard。
　
　But　what　was　wrong　with　taking　the　sword？　What　could　it　hurt　to　have　its　help？　Wouldn't　it　be　foolish　to　turn　down　any　assistance？　Apparently　the　sword　could　be　put　to　any　use　its　owner　wanted；　so　why　not　use　it　in　the　way　he　wanted？　He　didn't　have　to　bee　an　assassin；　or　anything　else。　He　could　use　it　to　help　them；　that　was　all。　That　was　all　that　was　needed；　or　wanted；　no　more
　
　But。　Richard　knew　why　he　didn't　want　it。　He　didn't　like　the　way　it　had　felt　when　he　had　drawn　the　sword。　It　had　felt　good；　and　that　bothered　him。　It　had　stirred　his　anger　in　a　way　that　frightened　him；　made　him　feel　like　…he　had　never　felt　before。　The　most　disconcerting　thing　was　that　it　felt　right。　He　didn't　want　to　feel　right　about　anger；　didn't　want　to　lose　his　control　of　it。　Anger　was　wrong。　That's　what　his　father　had　taught　him。　Anger　had　killed　his　mother。　He　kept　his　anger　behind　a　locked　door　he　didn't　want　opened。　No；　he　would　do　this　in　his　own　way；　without　the　sword。　He　didn't　need　it；　'didn't　need　the　worry　of　it。
　
　Richard　turned　to　Zedd；　who　still　sat　with　his　arms　folded　across　his　chest；　watching。　The　sunlight　gave　Zedd's　wrinkles　deep　shadows。　The　lines　and　sharp　angles　of　his　familiar　face　seemed　somehow　different。　He　looked　grim；　resolute…somehow　more　like　a　wizard。　Their　eyes　met　and　held　each　other。　Richard　was　decided。　He　would　tell　his　friend　no。　He　would　help；　and　would　stand　by　them。　His　life；　too；　depended　on　this。　But　he　would　not　be　the　Seeker。　Before　he　could　say　so；　Zedd　spoke。
　
　〃Kahlan；　tell　Richard　how　Darken　Rahl　questions　people。〃　His　voice　was　quiet；　calm。　He　didn't　look　at　her；　instead　continuing。　to　hold　Richard's　eyes。
　
　Her　voice　was　barely　audible。　〃Zedd；　please。〃
　
　〃Tell　him。〃　This　time　his　voice　was　harder；　more　forceful。　〃Tell　him　what　he　does　with　the　curved　knife　he　keeps　at　his　belt。〃
　
　Richard　looked　away　from　Zedd's　eyes　to　her　pale　face。　After　a　moment　she　held　out　her　hand；　and　looked　up　at　him　with　sad；　green　eyes；　beckoning　him　to　e　to　her。　He　stood　a　moment；　wary；　then　came　and　took　her　hand。　She　pulled　him　down　toward　her。　He　sat；　straddling　the　bench；　facing　her；　waiting　for　what　it　was　she　was　bidden　to　say；　fearing　it。
　
　Kahlan　shifted　toward　him；　hooking　some　hair　behind　an　ear；　and　looked　down　at　his　right　hand　as　she　held　it　in　both　of　hers；　stroking　the　back　of　it　with　her　thumbs。　Her　fingers　were　gentle；　soft；　and　warm　against　his　palm。　The　size　of　her　hands　made　his　seem　awkwardly　large。　She　spoke　quietly　and　didn't　look　up。
　
　〃Darken　Rahl　is　a　practitioner　of　an　ancient　form　of　magic　called　anthropomancy。　He　divines　the　answers　to　questions　by　the　inspection　of　living　human　entrails。〃
　
　Richard　felt　his　anger　ignite。
　
　〃It's　of　limited　use；　he　can　at　most　get　a　yes　or　no　to　a　single　question；　and　sometimes；　a　name。　Nonetheless；　he　continues　to　favor　its　use。　I'm　sorry；　Richard。　Please　forgive　me　for　telling　you　this。〃
　
　Memories　of　his　father's　kindness；　his　laughter；　his　love；　his　friendship；　their　time　together　with　the　secret　book；　and　a　thousand　other　brief　glimpses　tore　through　him　in　a　flood　of　anguish。　The　scenes　and　sounds　converged　into　dim　shadows　and　hollow　echoes　in　Richard's　mind　and　melted　away。　In　its　pace；　memories　of　the　bloodstains　on　the　floor；　the　white　faces　of　the　people　there；　images　of　his　father's　pain　and　terror；　and　the　things　Chase　had　told　him　flashed　vividly　in　snatches　through　his　mind。　He　didn't　try　to　stop　them；　but　instead　pulled　them　onward；　hungering　for　them。　He　washed　himself　in　the　detail　of　it　all；　felt　the　twisting　torment。　Pain　flared　up　from　a　pit　deep　inside　him。　Invoked　heedlessly；　it　came　screaming　forth。　In　his　mind　he　added　the　shadowed　figure　of　Darken　Rahl；　hands　dripping　crimson　blood；　standing　over　his　father's　body；　holding　the　red；　glinting　blade。　He　held　the　vision　before　him；　twisting　it；　inspecting　it；　drinking　it　into　his　soul。　The　picture　was　plete　now。　He　had　his　answers。　He　knew　how　it　had　been。　How　his　father　had　died。　Until　now　that　was　all　he　had　ever　sought…answers。　In　his　whole　life；　he　had　never　gone　beyond　that　simple　quest。
　
　In　one　white…hot　instant　that　changed。
　
　The　door　that　held　back　his　anger；　and　the　wall　of　reason　containing　his　temper；　burned　away　in　a　flash　of　hot　desire。　A　lifetime　of　rational　thinking　evaporated　before　his　searing　fury。　Lucidity　became　dross　in　a　cauldron　of　molten　need。
　
　Richard　reached　out　to　the　Sword　of　Truth；　curled　his　fingers　around　the　scabbard；　gripping　it　tighter　and　tighter　until　his　knuckles　were　white。　The　muscles　in　his　jaw　flexed。　His　breathing　came　fast　and　sharp。　He　saw　nothing　else　of　what　was　around　him。　The　heat　of　anger　surged　forth　from　the　sword；　not　of　its　own　volition；　but　summoned　by　the　Seeker。
　
　Richard's　chest　heaved　with　the　burning　hurt　of　his　grief　at　knowing　now　what　had　happened　to　his　father；　and　with　that　knowledge　there　was　closure；　too。　Thoughts　he　had　never　permitted　himself　to　have　became　his　only　desire。　Caution　and　consequence　vanished　before　a　flood　of　lust　for　vengeance。
　
　In　that　instant；　his　only　want；　his　only　desire；　his　only　need；　was　to　kill　Darken　Rahl。　Nothing　else　had　any　significance。
　
　With　his　other　hand　he　reached　out　and　seized　the　hilt　of　his　sword　to　pull　it　free。　Zedd's　hand　clamped　down　over　his。　The　Seeker's　eyes　snapped　up；　livid　at　the　interference。
　
　〃Richard。〃　Zedd's　voice　was　gentle。　〃Calm　down。〃
　
　The　Seeker；　his　muscles　flexing　powerfully；　glowered　into　the　other's　tranquil　eyes。　Some　part　of　him；　deep　in　the　back　of　his　mind；　kept　warning　him；　trying　to　regain　control。　He　ignored　the　warming。　He　bent　over　the　table　to　the　wizard；　his　teeth　gritted。
　
　〃I　accept　the　position　of　Seeker。〃
　
　〃Richard；〃　…Zedd　repeated　calmly；　〃it's　all　right。　Relax。　Sit　down。〃
　
　The　world　came　rushing　back　into　his　mind。　He　pulled　his　readiness　to　kill　back　a　notch；　but　not　his　rage。　Not　only　the　door；　but　also　the　wall　that　had　contained　his　anger；　was　gone。　Even　though　the　world　about　him　had　returned；　it　was　a　world　seen　through　different　eyes…eyes　he　had　always　had；　but　had　been　afraid　to　use：　the　eyes　of　a　Seeker。
　
　Richard　realized　that　he　was　standing。　He　didn't　remember　getting　up。　He　sat　again　next　to　Kahlan；　removing　his；　hands　from　the　sword。　Something　inside　him　regained　control　of　his　anger。　It　wasn't　the　same　as　before；　though。　It　didn't　shut　it　away；　didn't　lock　it　behind　a　door；　but　pulled　it　back；　unafraid；　to　make　it　ready　when　needed　again。
　
　Some　of　his　old　self　seeped　back　into　his　mind；　calming　him；　slowing　his　breathing；　reasoning　within　him。　He　felt　liberated；　unafraid；　unashamed　of　his　temper　for　the　first　time。　He　allowed　himself　to　sit　there　while　he　uncoiled；　feeling　his　muscles　relax。
　
　He　looked　up　into　Zedd's　calm；　undisturbed　face。　The　old　man；　his　thatch　of　white　hair　framing　an　angular　face　set　in　a　perceptive　cast；　studied　him；　assessed　him　with　the　slightest　hint　of　a　smile　fixed　at　the　corners　of　his　thin　mouth。
　
　〃Congratulations；〃　the　wizard　said。　〃You　have　passed　my　final　test　to　bee　Seeker。〃　Richard　pulled　back　in　confusion。　〃What　do　you　mean？　You　already　appointed　me　Seeker。〃
　
　Zedd　shook　his　head　slowly。　〃I　told　you　before。　Weren't　you　listening？　A　Seeker　appoints　himself。　Before　you　could　bee　Seeker　you　had　to　pass　one　determinative　test。　You　had　to　show　me　you　could　use　all　your　mind。　For　many　years；　Richard；　you　have　kept　part　of　it　locked　away。　Your　anger。　I　had　to　know　you　could　release　it；　call　upon　it。　I've　seen　you　angry；　but　you　were　unable　to　admit　your　anger　to　yourself。　A　Seeker　who　couldn't　allow　himself　to　use　his　anger　would　be　hopelessly　weak。　It　is　the　strength　of　rage　that　gives　the　heedless　drive　to　prevail。　Without　the　anger；　you　would　have　turned　down　the　sword；　and　I　would　have　let　you；　because　you　wouldn't　have　had　what　was　required。　But　that　is　irrelevant　now。　You　have　proven　you　are　no　longer　a　prisoner　to　your　fears。　Be　cautioned；