tg.wizardfirstrule-第68部分

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　The　ball　of　fire　lifted　into　the　air。　Sparks　dropped　from　it；　and　black　smoke　rolled　away。　The　fire　turned　to　black　smoke　as　it　went　higher；　until　it　was　all　dark　again。
　
　〃Did　you　see　that？〃　she　asked　Sara。
　
　Sara　didn't；　say　anything。
　
　〃I　hope　Giller　is　all　right。〃
　
　She　looked　down　at　the　doll；　but　she　didn't　say　anything；　or　even　smile　back。
　
　Rachel　hugged　Sara　to　her　and；　picked　up　the　bundle。
　
　〃We　better　get　going；　like　Giller　said。〃
　
　When　she　went　past　the　lake；　she　threw　the　key　to　her　sleeping　box　as　far　as　she　could；　out　into　the　water；　and　smiled　when　she　heard　it　splash。
　
　Sara　didn't　say　anything　as　they　rushed　away　from　the　castle；　down　the　path。　Rachel　remembered　what　Giller　said；　that　she　shouldn't　go　to　the　same　wayward　pine。　She　turned　and　went　down　a　deer　trail；　through　the　bramble；　in　a　new　direction。
　
　West
　
　CHAPTER　34
　THERE　WAS　A　SOUND。　Small；　soft；　spitting。
　
　In　the　fog　of　half　sleep；　half　wake；　it　made　no　sense；　no　matter　how　hard　he　tried　to　understand　it。　Slowly　at　first；　then　with　accelerating　urgency；　he　came　awake；　aware　of　the　aroma　of　cooking　meat。　Immediately；　he　regretted　the　experience　of　being　conscious；　the…　memories　of　what　had　happened；　his　longing　for　Kahlan。　His　knees　were　pulled　up　to　his　chest　with　his　head　resting　against　them。　The　bark　of　the　tree　at　his　back　dug　painfully　into　his　flesh；　and　his　muscles　were　cramped　to　near　paralysis　from　sleeping　in　the　same　position　all　night。　With　his　head　against　his　knees　he　couldn't　see　anything；　except　that　it　was　only　just　。beginning　to　lighten　with　dawn。
　
　There　was　someone；　or　something；　near　him。
　
　Continuing　to　feign　sleep；　he　took　assessment　of　where　hi；；　hands　were　in　relation　to　…his　weapons。　The　sword　was　a　goodly　reach；　and　then　a　long　pull　to　draw　it。　The　knife　wasn't。　His　fingertips　were　touching　the　hickory　handle。　Flexing　his　finger；　slowly；　carefully；　he　worked　the　handle　into　his　palm；　tightening　his　grip　around　it。　Whatever　it　was；　was　near　to　his　left　side。　A　spring　and　a　thrust　with　the　knife；　he　thought。
　
　He　took　a　careful　peek。　With　a　shock；　he　saw　that　it　was　Kahlan。　She　was　sitting；　leaning　against　the　log；　watching　him。　A　rabbit　was　cooking　on　the　fire。　He　sat　up　straight。
　
　〃What　are　you　doing　here？〃　he　asked　cautiously。
　
　〃Is　it　all　right　if　we　talk？〃
　
　Richard　slid　the　knife　back　into　its　sheath；　stretched　his　legs；　rubbing　the　cramps　from　them。　〃I　thought　we　did　all　our　talking　last　night。〃　He　immediately　winced　at　his　own　words。　She　gave　him　an　unreadable　look。　〃I'm　sorry；〃　he　said；　softening　his　tone。　〃Of　course　we　can　talk。　What　do　you　want　to　talk　about？〃
　
　She　shrugged　in　the　dim　light。　〃I've　been　doing　a　lot　of　thinking。〃　She　had　a　length　of　birch　branch　that　he　had　cut　the　night　before　for　the　fire；　and　was　stripping　off　pieces　of　white　bark。　〃Last　night；　after　I　left；　well；　I　knew　you　had　a　headache　。　。　。〃
　
　〃How　did　you　know　that？〃
　
　She　shrugged　again。　〃I　can　always　tell；　by　the　look　in　your　eyes；　when　you　have　a　headache。〃　Her　voice　was　soft；　gentle。　〃I　knew　you　hadn't　been　getting　much　sleep　lately；　and　that　it　was　my　fault；　so　I　decided　that　before　I　。　。　。　before　I　left；　I　would　stand　watch　for　you　while　you　slept。　So　I　went　over　there；〃　she　pointed　with　the　branch；　〃in　those　trees；　where　I　could　keep　my　eye　on　you。〃　She　looked　down　at　the　branch　as　she　peeled　off　strips　of　bark。　〃I　wanted　to　make　sure　you　got　some　sleep。〃
　
　〃You　were　there　the　whole　night？〃　Richard　was　afraid　to　hope　at　what　this　meant。
　
　She　nodded；　but　didn't　look　up。　〃While　I　was　watching；　I　decided　to　make　a　　snare；　like　you　taught　me；　to　see　if　I　could　catch　you　some　breakfast。　While　I　was　sitting　there；　I　did　a　lot　of　thinking。　Mostly；　I　cried　for　a　long　time。　I　couldn't　stand　it　that　you　thought　those　things　about　me。　It　hurt　that　you　thought　of　me　like　that。　It　made　me　angry　too。〃　　10；
　
　Richard　decided　it　was　best　not　to　say　anything　while　she　struggled　to　find　the　words。　He　didn't　know　what　to　say；　and　was　afraid　if　he　said　anything　it　might　make　her　leave　again。　Kahlan　pulled　off　a　curl　of　birch　bark　and　tossed　it　in　the　fire；　where　it　sizzled　and　flared　to　flame。
　
　〃Then　I　thought　about　what　you　said；　and　I　decided　there　were　some　things　I　needed　to　tell　you；　about　how　to　conduct　yourself　when　you　are　with　the　Queen。　And　then　I　remembered　some　things　I　needed　to　tell　you　about　which　roads　to　avoid；　and　about　where　you　might　go。　I　just　keep　thinking　about　things　I　needed　to　tell　you；　things　you　need　to　know。　Before　I　knew　it；　I　realized　you　were　right。　About　everything。〃
　
　Richard　thought　she　looked　like　she　was　near　tears；　but　she　didn't　cry。　Instead；　she　picked　at　the　branch　with　her　fingernail；　and　avoided　his　eyes。　Still　he　kept　quiet。　Then　she　asked　him　a　question　he　wasn't　expecting。
　
　〃Do　you　think　Shota　is　pretty？〃
　
　He　smiled。　〃Yes。　But　not　as　pretty　as　you。〃
　
　Kahlan　smiled　and　pushed　some　hair　back　over　her　shoulder。　〃Not　many　would　dare　to　say　that　to　a　。　。　。〃　She　caught　herself　again。　Her　secret　stood　between　them　like　a　third　person。　She　started　again。　〃There　is　an　old　women's　proverb；　maybe　you　have　heard　it　before。　‘Never　let　a　beautiful　woman　pick　your　path　for　you　when　there　is　a　man　in　her　line　of　sight。'　〃
　
　Richard　laughed　a　little　and　stood　to　stretch　his　legs。　〃No；　I've　not　heard　that　before。〃　He　half　leaned；　half　sat　against　the　log；　as　he　folded　his　arms。　He　didn't　think　Kahlan　needed　to　worry　about　Shota　stealing　his　heart；　Shota　had　said　she　would　kill　him　if　she　ever　saw　him　again。　Even　without　Shota's　vow；　Kahlan　had　no　cause　for　worry。
　
　She　tossed　the　branch　aside　and　stood　next　to　him；　leaning　her　hip　against　the　log。　She　looked　into　his　eyes　at　last；　her　eyebrows　wrinkled　together。　〃Richard〃…her　voice　was　low；　almost　a　whisper…〃last　night　I　figured　out　I　was　being　very　stupid。　I　had　been　afraid　the　witch　woman　would　kill　me；　and　all　of　a　sudden；　I　realized；　she　was　about　to　succeed。　Only　I　was　doing　it　for　her；　letting　her　pick　my　path　for　me。
　
　〃You　were　right　about　it　all。　I　should　have　known　better　than　to　disregard　the　things　a　Seeker　says。〃　She　looked　back　down　at　the　ground　before　her　green　eyes　came　back　up　to　his。　〃If　。　。　。　if　it　is　not　too　late；　I　would　like　my　job　back；　as　your　guide。〃
　
　Richard　couldn't　believe　it　was　over。　He　had　never　been　this　happy；　this　relieved；　in　his　life。　Instead　of　answering；　he　reached　out　and　pulled　her　into　his　arms；　hugged　her　tight　to　him。　Her　arms　slipped　around　him　as　she　laid　her　head　against　his　chest　for　a　moment。　Then　she　pushed　away。
　
　〃Richard；　there　is　one　other　matter。　Before　you　can　say　you　will　take　me　back；　you　must　hear　the　rest　of　it。　I　can't　go　on　anymore　without　telling　you　about　me。　About　what　I　am。　It's　cleaving　my　heart；　because　I'm　supposed　to　be　your　friend。　I　should　have　told　you　from　the　beginning。　I　have　never　had　a　friend　like　you　before。　I　didn't　want　it　to　end。〃　Her　gaze　left　his。　〃But　now　it　must；〃　she　added　faintly。
　
　〃Kahlan；　I've　told　you　before；　you're　my　friend；　and　nothing　can　change　that。〃
　
　〃This　secret　can。〃…　Her　shoulders　were　slumped。　〃This　is　about　magic。〃
　
　Richard　wasn't　sure　anymore　that　he　wanted　to　hear　her　secret。　He　had　just　gotten　her　back；　he　didn't　want　to　lose　her　again。　He　squatted　down　in　front　of　the　fire；　picking　up　the　roasting　stick　with　the　rabbit。　Sparks　swirled　up　into　the　waning　darkness。　He　felt　proud　of　her；　for　catching　the　rabbit　on　her　own；　the　way　he　had　taught　her。
　
　〃Kahlan；　I　don't　care　what　your　secret　is。　I　care　about　you；　that's　all　that　matters。　You　don't。　have　to　tell　me。　e　on；　the　rabbit　is　done；　e　and　have　some。〃
　
　Cutting　off　a　piece　with　his　knife；　he　handed　it　to　her　as　she　sat　on　the　ground　next　to　him；　pulling　her　hair　back　off　her　face。　The　meat　was　hot；　so　she　held　it　lightly　with　her　fingertips；　and　blew　to　cool　it。　Richard　cut　a　piece　for　himself　and　sat　back。
　
　〃Richard；　when　you　first　saw　Shota；　did　she　really　look　like　your　mother？〃
　
　He　looked　over　to　Kahlan's　face；　lit　by　the　fire；　and　nodded　before　he　took　a　bite。
　
　〃Your　mother　was　very　pretty。　You　have　her　eyes；　and　her　mouth。〃
　
　Richard　smiled　a　little　at　the　memory。　〃But　it　wasn't　really　her。〃
　
　〃So　you　felt　angry　that　Shota　was　pretending　to　be　someone　she　could　not　be？　That　she　was　deceiving　you？〃　She　took　a　bite　of　the　rabbit；　breathing　in　through　her　mouth　because　the　meat　was　still　hot。　She　watched　him　carefully
　
　Richard　shrugged；　feeling　the　sting　of　sorrow。　〃I　guess。　It　wasn't　fair。〃
　
　Kahlan　chewed　a　minute；　and　then　swallowed。　〃That　is　why　I　must　tell　you　who　I　am；　even　if　you　hate　me　for　it；　because　you　have　been　my　friend。　Although　I　have　not　been　the　kind　of　friend　you　deserve。　That　is　the　other　reason　I　came　back；　because　I　didn't　want　someone　else　to　tell　you。　I　wanted　you　to　hear　it　from　me。　After　I　tell　you；　if　you　want　me　to　I　will　leave。〃
　
　Richard　looked　up　at　the　sky；　at　the　color　ing。　slowly　to　it。　He　suddenly　wished　Kahlan　weren't　telling　him　what　she　was；　he　wished　things　could　stay　the　way　they　were。　〃Don't　worry；　I'm　not　sending　you　away。　We　have　a　job　to　do。　Remember　what　Shota　said？　The　Queen　won't　have　the　box　long；　that　can　only　mean　someone　will　take　it　from　her。　Better　us　than　Darken　Rahl。〃
　
　Kahlan　put　her　hand　on　his　arm。　〃I　don't　want　you　to　decide　until　you　hear　what　I　have　to　say；　until　you　hear　what　I　am。　Then；　if　you　want　one　to　leave　I　will　understand。〃　She　looked　intently　into　his　eyes。　〃Richard；　I　just　want　you　to　know　that　I　have　never　cared　for　anyone　the　way　I　care　for　you；　nor　will　I　ever　again。　But　it　is　not　possible　for　it　to　go　beyond　that。　Nothing　can　ever　e　of　it。　Nothing　good　anyway。〃
　
　He　refused　to　believe　that。　There　was　a　way；　there　had　to　be。　Richard　took　a　heavy　breath；　letting　it　out　slowly。　〃All　right　then；　out　with　it。〃
　
　She　nodded。　〃Remember　when　I　told　you　that　some　who　lived　in　the　Midlands　were　creatures　of　magic？　And　that　they　couldn't　give　up　that　magic；　because　it　was　part　of　them？〃　He　nodded　to　her。　〃Well；　I　am　one　of　those　creatures。　I　am　more　than　a　woman。〃
　
　〃So；　what　are　you？〃
　
　〃I　am　a　Confessor。〃
　
　Confessor。
　
　Richard　knew　that　word。
　
　Every　muscle　in　his　body　went　stiff。　His　breath　caught　in　his　throat。　The　Book　of　Counted　Shadows　suddenly　flooded　through。　his　mind。　Verification　of　the　truth　of　the　words　of　the　Book　of　Counted　Shadows；　if　spoken　by　another；　rather　than　read　by　the　one　who　mands　the　boxes；　can　only　be　insured　by　the　use　of　a　Confessor　。　。　。　。
　
　His　mind　raced；　as　if　flipping　the　pages　in　his　mind's　eye；　scanning　the　words；　trying　to　remember　the　whole　book；　trying　to　remember　if　Confessor　was　mentioned　again。　No；　it　wasn't。　He　knew　every　word　in　the　book；　and　Confessor　was　in　it　only　once；　at　the　beginning。　He　could　remember　puzzling　over　what　a　Confessor　could　be。　He　hadn't　even　been　sure；　before；　that　it　was　a　person。　He　felt　the　weight　of　the　tooth　hanging　around　his　neck。
　
　Kahlan　frowned　at　the　look　on　his　face。　〃Do　you　know　what　a　Confessor　is？〃
　
　〃No；〃　he　managed。　〃I　heard　the　word　before；　that's　all　。　。　。　from　my　father。　But　I　don't　know　what　it　means。〃　He　struggled　to　regain　control　of　himself。　〃So；　what　does　it　mean；　to　be　a　Confessor？〃
　
　Kahlan　pulled　her　knees　up；　hugging　her　arms　around　them；　withdrawing　just　a　little。　〃It's　a　power；　magic　power；　that　is　passed　from　mother　to　daughter；　going　back　almost　as　far　as　there　have　been　the　lands；　back　beyond　the　dark　time。〃
　
　Richard　didn't　know　what　the　〃dark　time〃　was；　but　didn't　interrupt。　〃It　is　something　we　are　born　with；　magic　that　is　part　of　us；　and　cannot　be　separated　from　us　any　more　than　you　could　be　separated　from　your　heart。　Any　woman　who　is　a　Confessor　will　bear　children　who　are　Confessors。　Always。　But　the　power　is　not　the　same　in　all　of　us；　in　some　it　is　weaker；　in　some；　stronger。〃
　
　〃So　you　can't　get　rid　of　it；　even　if　you　wanted　to。　But　what　sort　of　magic　is　it？〃
　
　She　looked　away；　to　the　fire。　〃It's　a　power　invoked　by　touch。　It's　always　there；　inside　us。　We　don't　bring　it　out　to　use　it；　instead；　we　must　always　hold　it　in；　and　use　it　by　releasing　our　grip　of　it；　relaxing　our　hold　and　letting　it　e　forth。〃
　
　〃Sort　of　like　holding　your　stomach　in？〃
　
　She　smiled　at　his　analogy。　〃Sort　of。〃
　
　〃And　what　does　this　power　do？〃
　
　She　twisted　the　corner　of　her　cloak。　〃It　does　not　reveal　itself　well　in　words。　I　never　thought　it　would　be　this　troublesome　to　explain；　but　to　someone　who　is　not　from　the　Midlands；　well；　it's　difficult　to　put　into　words。　I　have　never　had　to　do　this　before；　and　I'm　not　even　sure　it　can　be　done；　accurately。　It's　a　little　like　trying　to　explain　fog　to　a　blind　person。〃
　
　〃Try。〃
　
　She　nodded　and　stole　a　look　into　his　eyes。
　
　〃It　is　the　power　of　love。〃
　
　Richard　almost　laughed。　〃And　I'm　supposed　to　be　afraid　of　the　power　of　love？〃
　
　Kahlan's　back　stiffened；　indignation　flared　in　her　eyes：　indignation　and　the　kind　of　timeless　look　Adie　and　Shota　had　flashed　him；　one　that　said　that　his　words　were　disrespectful；　that　even　his　small　smile　was　insolent。　It　was　a　countenance　he　was　not　used　to　seeing　her　direct　at　him。　He　felt　a　cold　realization　that　Kahlan　was　not　used　to　having　anyone　smile　about　her　power；　and　who　she　was。　Her　look　said　more　to　him　about　her　power　than　any　words　could　have。　Whatever　her　magic　was；　it　was　definitely　not　something　to　be　smiled　about。　His　small　grin　withered。　When　she　seemed　sure　he　was　not　about　to　say　anything　else　flippant；　she　went　on。
　
　〃You　don't　understand。　Do　not　take　it　lightly。〃　Her　eyes　narrowed。　〃Once　touched　by　it；　you　are　no　longer　the　person　you　were。　You　are　changed　forever。　Forevermore　you　are　devoted　to　the　one　who　touches　you；　to　the　exclusion　of　all　else。　What　you　wanted；　what　you　were；　who　you　were；　no　longer　‘means　anything　to　you。　You　would　do　anything　for　the　one　who　touches　you。　Your　life　is　no　longer　yours；　it　is　hers。　Your　soul　is　no　longer　yours；　it　is　hers。　The　person　you　were　no　longer　exists。〃
　
　Richard　felt　bumps　on　the　skin　of　his　arms。　〃How　long　does　this；　this；　magic；　whatever　it　is；　how　long　does　it　last？〃
　
　〃As　long　as　the　one　I　touch　is　alive；〃　she　said　evenly。
　
　Richard　felt　the　chill　run　the　rest　of　the　way　through　him。　〃So；　it's　sort　of　like　you　bewitch　people？〃
　
　She　let　out　a　breath。　〃Not　exactly；　but　if　it　helps　you　to　understand；　I　guess　you　could　put　it　that　way。　But　the　touch　of　a　Confessor　is　much　more。　Much　more　powerful；　and　final。　A　bewitching　could　be　removed。　My　touch　cannot。　Shota　was　bewitching　you；　even　though　you　did　not　realize　it。　It's　an　incremental　thing。　Witches　cannot　help　it；　it's　their　way。　But　your　anger；　and　the　anger　from　the　sword；　protected　you。
　
　〃The　touch　of　my　power　is　all　at　once；　and　final。　Nothing　could　protect　you。　The　person　I　touch　cannot　be　brought　back；　because　once　I　touch　them；　that　person　is　no　longer　there。　That　person　is　gone　forever。　Their　free　will　is　gone　forever。　One　reason　I　was　afraid　to　go　to　Shota　was　because　witches　hate　Confessors。　They　are　fiercely　jealous　of　our　power；　jealous　that　once　touched；　the　person　is　totally　devoted。　The　one　touched　by　a　Confess