[科幻]宿主-第25部分

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I　wrote　was　memory　or　dream；　or　sleep…typing；　maybe。”　
I　went　along　with　the　words—Melanie’s　words—as　they　flowed　easily　from　my　mouth；　I　even　added　
my　own　lighthearted　laugh　at　the　end。　It　was　dishonest　of　me。　Shameful　behavior。　But　I　would　not　let　the　
Seeker　know　that　I　was　weaker　than　my　host。　
For　once；　Melanie　was　not　smug　at　having　bested　me。　She　was　too　relieved；　too　grateful　that　I　had　not；　
for　my　own　petty　reasons；　given　her　away。　

　

　I　bit　my　lip　hard。　Melanie　wanted　so　badly　to　make　another　denial；　to　claim　the　boy　was　just　part　of　a　
dream。Don’t　be　stupid；　I　told　her。That　would　be　so　obvious。　It　said　much　for　the　repellent　nature　of　the　
Seeker　that　she　could　put　Melanie　and　me　on　the　same　side　of　an　argument。

　I　hate　her。Melanie’s　whisper　was　sharp；　painful　like　a　cut。

　I　know；　I　know。I　wished　I　could　deny　that　I　felt…　similarly。　Hate　was　an　unforgivable　emotion。　But　the　
Seeker　was…　very　difficult　to　like。　Impossible。

　The　Seeker　interrupted　my　internal　conversation。　“So；　other　than　the　new　location　to　review；　you　have　
no　more　help　for　me　on　the　road　maps？”

　I　felt　my　body　react　to　her　critical　tone。　“I　never　said　they　were　lines　on　a　road　map。　That’s　your　
assumption。　And　no；　I　have　nothing　else。”

　She　clicked　her　tongue　quickly　three　times。　“But　you　said　they　were　directions。”

　“That’s　what　I　think　they　are。　I’m　not　getting　anything　more。”

　“Why　not？　Haven’t　you　subdued　the　human　yet？”　She　laughed　loudly。　Laughing　at　me。

　I　turned　my　back　to　her　and　concentrated　on　calming　myself。　I　tried　to　pretend　that　she　wasn’t　there。　
That　I　was　all　alone　in　my　austere　kitchen；　staring　out　the　window　into　the　little　patch　of　night　sky；　at　the　
three　bright　stars　I　could　see　through　it。

　Well；　as　alone　as　I　ever　was。

　While　I　stared　at　the　tiny　points　of　light　in　the　blackness；　the　lines　that　I’d　seen　over　and　over　again—in　
my　dreams　and　in　my　broken　memories；　cropping　up　at　strange；　unrelated　moments—flashed　through　my　
head。

　The　first：　a　slow；　rough　curve；　then　a　sharp　turn　north；　another　sharp　turn　back　the　other　way；　twisting　
back　to　the　north　for　a　longer　stretch；　and　then　the　abrupt　southern　decline　that　flattened　out　into　another　
shallow　curve。

　The　second：　a　ragged　zigzag；　four　tight　switchbacks；　the　fifth　point　strangely　blunt；　like　it　was　broken…

　The　third：　a　smooth　wave；　interrupted　by　a　sudden　spur　that　swung　a　thin；　long　finger　out　to　the　north　
and　back。

　Inprehensible；　seemingly　meaningless。　But　I　knew　this　was　important　to　Melanie。　From　the　very　
beginning　I’d　known　that。　She　protected　this　secret　more　fiercely　than　any　other；　next　to　the　boy；　her　
brother。　I’d　had　no　idea　of　his　existence　before　the　dream　last　night。　I　wondered　what　it　was　that　had　
broken　her。　Maybe　as　she　grew　louder　in　my　head；　she　would　lose　more　of　her　secrets　to　me。

　Maybe　she　would　slip　up；　and　I　would　see　what　these　strange　lines　meant。　I　knew　they　meant　something。　
That　they　led　somewhere。　

　

　They　led　back　to　Jared；　of　course。　Back　to　both　of　them；　Jared　and　Jamie。　Where　else？　What　other　
location　could　possibly　hold　any　meaning　for　her？　Only　now　I　saw　that　it　was　notback；　because　none　of　
them　had　ever　followed　these　lines　before。　Lines　that　had　been　as　much　of　a　mystery　to　her　as　they　were　
to　me；　until…

　The　wall　was　slow　to　block　me。　She　was　distracted；　paying　more　attention　to　the　Seeker　than　I　was。　
She　fluttered　in　my　head　at　a　sound　behind　me；　and　that　was　the　first　I　was　aware　of　the　Seeker’s　
approach。

　The　Seeker　sighed。　“I　expected　more　of　you。　Your　track　record　seemed　so　promising。”

　“It’s　a　pity　you　weren’t　free　for　the　assignment　yourself。　I’m　sure　if　you’d　had　to　deal　with　a　resistant　
host；　it　would　have　been　child’s　play。”　I　didn’t　turn　to　look　at　her。　My　voice　stayed　level。

　She　sniffed。　“The　early　waves　were　challenging　enough　even　without　a　resistant　host。”

　“Yes。　I’ve　experienced　a　few　settlings　myself。”

　The　Seeker　snorted。　“Were　the　See　Weeds　very　difficult　to　tame？　Did　they　flee？”

　I　kept　my　voice　calm。　“We　had　no　trouble　in　the　South　Pole。　Of　course；　the　North　was　another　matter。　
It　was　badly　mishandled。　We　lost　the　entire　forest。”　The　sadness　of　that　time　echoed　behind　my　words。　A　
thousand　sentient　beings；　closing　their　eyes　forever　rather　than　accept　us。　They’d　curled　their　leaves　from　
the　suns　and　starved。

　Good　for　them；Melanie　whispered。　There　was　no　venom　attached　to　the　thought；　only　approval　as　she　
saluted　the　tragedy　in　my　memory。

　It　was　such　a　waste。I　let　the　agony　of　the　knowledge；　the　feel　of　the　dying　thoughts　that　had　racked　us　
with　our　sister　forest’s　pain；　wash　through　my　head。

　It　was　death　either　way。

　The　Seeker　spoke；　and　I　tried　to　concentrate　on　just　one　conversation。

　“Yes。”　Her　voice　was　unfortable。　“That　was　poorly　executed。”

　“You　can　never　be　too　careful　when　it　es　to　doling　out　power。　Some　aren’t　as　careful　as　they　should　
be。”

　She　didn’t　answer；　and　I　heard　her　move　a　few　steps　back。　Everyone　knew　that　the　misstep　behind　the　
mass　suicide　belonged　to　the　Seekers；　who；　because　the　See　Weeds　couldn’tflee；　had　underestimated　
their　ability　toescape。　They’d　proceeded　recklessly；　beginning　the　first　settlement　before　we　had　
adequate　numbers　in　place　for　a　full…scale　assimilation。　By　the　time　they　realized　what　the　See　Weeds　
were　capable　of；　were　willing　to　do；　it　was　too　late。　The　next　shipment　of　hibernating　souls　was　too　far　
away；　and　before　they’d　arrived；　the　northern　forest　was　lost。　

　

　“I’m　sorry　I　can’t　help　you　further。”　I　said　the　words　firmly；　trying　to　make　the　dismissal　clear。　I　was　
ready　to　have　my　house　to　myself　again。To　ourselves；　Melanie　inserted　spitefully。　I　sighed。　She　was　so　
full　of　herself　now。　“You　really　shouldn’t　have　troubled　yourself　to　e　so　far。”

　“It’s　the　job；”　the　Seeker　said；　shrugging。　“You’re　my　only　assignment。　Until　I　find　the　rest　of　them；　I　
may　as　well　stick　close　to　you　and　hope　I　get　lucky。”

　CHAPTER　7

　Confronted

　Yes；　Faces　Sunward？”　I　asked；　grateful　to　the　raised　hand　for　interrupting　my　lecture。　I　did　not　feel　as　
fortable　behind　the　lectern　as　I　usually　did。　My　biggest　strength；　my　only　real　credential—for　my　host　
body　had　had　little　in　the　way　of　a　formal　education；　on　the　run　since　her　early　adolescence—was　the　
personal　experience　I　usually　taught　from。　This　was　the　first　world’s　history　I’d　presented　this　semester　
for　which　I　had　no　memories　to　draw　upon。　I　was　sure　my　students　were　suffering　the　difference。

　“I’m　sorry　to　interrupt；　but…”　The　white…haired　man　paused；　struggling　to　word　his　question。　“I’m　not　
sure　I　understand。　The　Fire…Tasters　actually…ingest　the　smoke　from　burning　the　Walking　Flowers？　Like　
food？”　He　tried　to　suppress　the　horror　in　his　tone。　It　was　not　a　soul’s　place　to　judge　another　soul。　But　I　
was　not　surprised；　given　his　background　on　the　Planet　of　the　Flowers；　at　his　strong　reaction　to　the　fate　of　
a　similar　life…form　on　another　world。

　It　was　always　amazing　to　me　how　some　souls　buried　themselves　in　the　affairs　of　whichever　world　they　
inhabited　and　ignored　the　rest　of　the　universe。　But；　to　be　fair；　perhaps　Faces　Sunward　had　been　in　
hibernation　when　Fire　World　became　notorious。

　“Yes；　they　receive　essential　nutrients　from　this　smoke。　And　therein　lies　the　fundamental　dilemma　and　the　
controversy　of　Fire　World—and　the　reason　the　planet　has　not　been　closed；　though　there　has　certainly　
been　adequate　time　to　populate　it　fully。　There　is　also　a　high　relocation　percentage。

　“When　Fire　World　was　discovered；　it　was　at　first　thought　that　the　dominant　species；　the　Fire…Tasters；　
were　the　only　intelligent　life…forms　present。　The　Fire…Tasters　did　not　consider　the　Walking　Flowers　to　be　
their　equals—a　cultural　prejudice—so　it　was　a　while；　even　after　the　first　wave　of　settling；　before　the　souls　
realized　they　were　murdering　intelligent　creatures。　Since　then；　Fire　World　scientists　have　focused　their　
efforts　on　finding　a　replacement　for　the　dietary　needs　of　the　Fire…Tasters。　Spiders　are　being　transported　
there　to　help；　but　the　planets　are　hundreds　of　light…years　apart。　When　this　obstacle　is　overe；　as　it　will　
be　soon；　I’m　sure；　there　is　hope　that　the　Walking　Flowers　might　also　be　assimilated。　In　the　meantime；　
much　of　the　brutality　has　been　removed　from　the　equation。　The；　ah；　burning…alive　portion；　of　course；　and　
other　aspects　as　well。”

　“How　can　they…”　Faces　Sunward　trailed　off；　unable　to　finish。

　Another　voice　pleted　Faces　Sunward’s　thought。　“It　seems　like　a　very　cruel　ecosystem。　Why　was　the　
planet　not　abandoned？”

　“That　has　been　debated；　naturally；　Robert。　But　we　do　not　abandon　planets　lightly。　There　are　many　souls　
for　whom　Fire　World　is　home。　They　will　not　be　uprooted　against　their　will。”　I　looked　away；　back　at　my　

　

　“But　it’s　barbaric！”

　Robert　was　physically　younger　than　most　of　the　other　students—closer　to　my　age；　in　fact；　than　any　
other。　And　truly　a　child　in　a　more　important　way。　Earth　was　his　first　world—the　Mother　in　this　case　had　
actually　been　an　Earth…dweller；　too；　before　she’d　given　herself—and　he　didn’t　seem　to　have　as　much　
perspective　as　older；　better…traveled　souls。　I　wondered　what　it　would　be　like　to　be　born　into　the　
overwhelming　sensation　and　emotion　of　these　hosts　with　no　prior　experience　for　balance。　It　would　be　
difficult　to　find　objectivity。　I　tried　to　remember　that　and　be　especially　patient　as　I　answered　him。

　“Every　world　is　a　unique　experience。　Unless　one　has　lived　on　that　world；　it’s　impossible　to　truly　
understand　the　—”

　“But　you　never　lived　on　Fire　World；”　he　interrupted　me。　“You　must　have　felt　the　same　way。…　Unless　
you　had　some　other　reason　for　skipping　that　planet？　You’ve　been　almost　everywhere　else。”

　“Choosing　a　planet　is　a　very　personal　and　private　decision；　Robert；　as　you　may　someday　experience。”　
My　tone　closed　the　subject　absolutely。

　Why　not　tell　them？　Youdothink　it’s　barbaric—and　cruel　and　wrong。　Which　is　pretty　ironic　if　you　
ask　me—not　that　you　ever　do。　What’s　the　problem？　Are　you　ashamed　that　you　agree　with　Robert？　
Because　he’s　more　human　than　the　others？

　Melanie；　having　found　her　voice；　was　being　downright　unbearable。　How　was　I　supposed　to　
concentrate　on　my　work　with　her　opinions　sounding　off　in　my　head　all　the　time？

　In　the　seat　behind　Robert；　a　dark　shadow　moved。

　The　Seeker；　clad　in　her　usual　black；　leaned　forward；　intent　for　the　first　time　on　the　subject　of　discussion。

　I　resisted　the　urge　to　scowl　at　her。　I　didn’t　want　Robert；　already　looking　embarrassed；　to　mistake　the　
expression　as　meant　for　him。　Melanie　grumbled。She　wished　I　wouldn’t　resist。　Having　the　Seeker　stalk　
our　every　footstep　had　been　educational　for　Melanie；　she　used　to　think　she　couldn’t　hate　anything　or　
anyone　more　than　she　hated　me。

　“Our　time　is　almost　up；”　I　announced　with　relief。　“I’m　pleased　to　inform　you　that　we　will　have　a　guest　
speaker　next　Tuesday　who　will　be　able　to　make　up　for　my　ignorance　on　this　topic。　Flame　Tender；　a　
recent　addition　to　our　planet；　will　be　here　to　give　us　a　more　personal　account　of　the　settling　of　Fire　
World。　I　know　that　you　will　give　him　all　the　courtesy　you　accord　me；　and　be　respectful　of　the　very　young　
age　of　his　host。　Thank　you　for　your　time。”

　The　class　filed　out　slowly；　many　of　the　students　taking　a　minute　to　chat　with　one　another　as　they　gathered　
their　things。　What　Kathy　had　said　about　friendships　ran　through　my　head；　but　I　felt　no　desire　to　join　any　
of　them。　They　were　strangers。

　Was　that　the　way　I　felt？　Or　the　way　Melanie　felt？　It　was　hard　to　tell。　Maybe　I　was　naturally　antisocial。　
My　personal　history　supported　that　theory；　I　supposed。　I’d　never　formed　an　attachment　strong　enough　to　
keep　me　on　any　planet　for　more　than　one　life。

　I　noticed　Robert　and　Faces　Sunward　lingering　at　the　classroom　door；　locked　in　a　discussion　that　seemed　

　

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。　
“Fire　World　stories　ruffle　feathers。”　
I　started　slightly。　
The　Seeker　was　standing　at　my　elbow。　The　woman　usually　announced　her　approach　with　the　quick　tap　


of　her　hard　shoes。　I　looked　down　now　to　see　that　she　was　wearing　sneakers　for　once—black；　of　course。　
She　was　even　tinier　without　the　extra　inches。　
“It’s　not　my　favorite　subject；”　I　said　in　a　bland　voice。　“I　prefer　to　have　firsthand　experience　to　share。”　
“Strong　reactions　from　the　class。”


　“Yes。”　
She　looked　at　me　expectantly；　as　if　waiting　for　more。　I　gathered　my　notes　and　turned　to　put　them　in　my　
bag。


　“You　seemed　to　react　as　well。”　
I　placed　my　papers　in　the　bag　carefully；　not　turning。　
“I　wondered　why　you　didn’t　answer　the　question。”　
There　was　a　pause　while　she　waited　for　me　to　respond。　I　didn’t。　
“So…　why　didn’t　you　answer　the　question？”　
I　turned　around；　not　concealing　the　impatience　on　my　face。　“Because　it　wasn’t　pertinent　to　the　lesson；　


because　Robert　needs　to　learn　some　manners；　and　because　it’s　no　one　else’s　business。”　
I　swung　my　bag　to　my　shoulder　and　headed　for　the　door。　She　stayed　right　beside　me；　rushing　to　keep　up　


with　my　longer　legs。　We　walked　down　the　hallway　in　silence。　It　wasn’t　until　we　were　outside；　where　the　
afternoon　sun　lit　the　dust　motes　in　the　salty　air；　that　she　spoke　again。　
“Do　you　think　you’ll　ever　settle；　Wanderer？　On　this　planet；　maybe？　You　seem　to　have　an　affinity　for　


their…　feelings。”


　I　bridled　at　the　implied　insult　in　her　tone。　I　wasn’t　even　sure　how　she　meant　to　insult　me；　but　it　was　clear　
that　she　did。　Melanie　stirred　resentfully。　
“I’m　not　sure　what　you　mean。”　
“Tell　me　something；　Wanderer。　Do　you　pity　them？”　
“Who？”　I　asked　blankly。　“The　Walking　Flowers？”　
“No；　the　humans。”　
I　stopped　walking；　and　she　skidded　to　a　halt　beside　me。　We　were　only　a　few　blocks　from　my　apartment；　

　

　“The　humans？”

　“Yes。　Do　you　pity　them？”

　“Don’t　you？”

　“No。　They　were　quite　the　brutal　race。　They　were　lucky　to　survive　each　other　as　long　as　they　did。”

　“Not　every　one　of　them　was　bad。”

　“It　was　a　predilection　of　their　genetics。　Brutality　was　part　of　their　species。　Butyou　pity　them；　it　seems。”

　“It’s　a　lot　to　lose；　don’t　you　think？”　I　gestured　around　us。　We　stood　in　a　parklike　space　between　two　
ivy…covered　dormitories。　The　deep　green　of　the　ivy　was　pleasing　to　the　eye；　especially　in　contrast　to　the　
faded　red　of　the　old　bricks。　The　air　was　golden　and　soft；　and　the　smell　of　the　ocean　gave　a　briny　edge　to　
the　honey　sweet　fragrance　of　the　flowers　in　the　bushes。　The　breeze　caressed　the　bare　skin　of　my　arms。　
“In　your　other　lives；　you　can’t　have　felt　anything　so　vivid。　Wouldn’t　you　pity　anyone　who　had　this　taken　
from　them？”　Her　expression　stayed　flat；　unmoved。　I　made　an　attempt　to　draw　her　in；　to　make　her　
consider　another　viewpoint。　“Which　other　worlds　have　you　lived　on？”

　She　hesitated；　then　squared　her　shoulders。　“None。　I’ve　only　lived　on　Earth。”

　That　surprised　me。　She　was　as　much　a　child　as　Robert。　“Only　one　planet？　And　you　chose　to　be　a　

Seeker　in　your　first　life？”

　She　nodded　once；　her　chin　set。

　“Well。