[科幻]宿主-第30部分

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　Look；　a　dry　wash。　It’s　wide　enough　for　the　car—let’s　follow　it；Melanie　insisted。

　I’m　not　sure　we’re　supposed　to　go　that　way　yet。

　It　will　be　dark　soon　and　we’ll　have　to　stop。　You’re　wasting　time！She　was　silently　shouting　in　her　
frustration。

　Or　saving　time；　if　I’m　right。　Besides；　it’smytime；　isn’t　it？

　She　didn’t　answer　in　words。　She　seemed　to　stretch　inside　my　mind；　reaching　back　toward　the　
convenient　wash。

　I’m　the　one　doing　this；　so　I’m　doing　it　my　way。

　Melanie　fumed　wordlessly　in　response。

　Why　don’t　you　show　me　the　rest　of　the　lines？I　suggested。We　could　see　if　anything　is　visible　before　

night　falls。

　No；she　snapped。I’ll　do　that　part　myway。

　You’re　being　childish。

　Again　she　refused　to　answer。　I　continued　toward　the　four　sharp　peaks；　and　she　sulked。　

　

　Have　you　lost　your　mind？Melanie　hissed。Do　you　have　any　idea　how　visible　headlights　would　be　
out　here？　Someone　is　sure　to　see　us。

　So　what　do　we　do　now？

　Hope　the　seat　reclines。

　I　let　the　engine　idle　as　I　tried　to　think　of　options　besides　sleeping　in　the　car；　surrounded　by　the　black　
emptiness　of　the　desert　night。　Melanie　waited　patiently；　knowing　I　would　find　none。

　This　is　crazy；　you　know；I　told　her；　throwing　the　car　into　park　and　twisting　the　keys　out　of　the　ignition。　
The　whole　thing。　There　can’t　really　be　anyone　out　here。　We　won’t　find　anything。　And　we’re　going　
to　get　hopelessly　lost　trying。　I　had　an　abstract　sense　of　the　physical　danger　in　what　we　were　
planning—wandering　out　into　the　heat　with　no　backup　plan；　no　way　to　return。　I　knew　Melanie　
understood　the　danger　far　more　clearly；　but　she　held　the　specifics　back。

　She　didn’t　respond　to　my　accusations。　None　of　these　problems　bothered　her。　I　could　see　that　she’d　
rather　wander　alone　in　the　desert　for　the　rest　of　her　life　than　go　back　to　the　life　I’d　had　before。　Even　
without　the　threat　of　the　Seeker；　this　was　preferable　to　her。

　I　leaned　the　seat　back　as　far　as　it　would　go。　It　wasn’t　close　to　far　enough　for　fort。　I　doubted　that　I　
would　be　able　to　sleep；　but　there　were　so　many　things　I　wasn’t　allowing　myself　to　think　about　that　my　
mind　was　vacant　and　uninteresting。　Melanie　was　silent；　too。

　I　closed　my　eyes；　finding　little　difference　between　my　lids　and　the　moonless　night；　and　drifted　into　
unconsciousness　with　unexpected　ease。

　CHAPTER　11

　Dehydrated

　Okay！　You　were　right；　you　were　right！”　I　said　the　words　out　loud。　There　was　no　one　around　to　hear　me。

　Melanie　wasn’tsaying　“I　told　you　so。”　Not　in　so　many　words。　But　I　could　feel　the　accusation　in　her　
silence。

　I　was　still　unwilling　to　leave　the　car；　though　it　was　useless　to　me　now。　When　the　gas　ran　out；　I　had　let　it　
roll　forward　with　the　remaining　momentum　until　it　took　a　nosedive　into　a　shallow　gorge—a　thick　rivulet　
cut　by　the　last　big　rain。　Now　I　stared　out　the　windshield　at　the　vast；　vacant　plain　and　felt　my　stomach　
twist　with　panic。

　We　have　to　move；　Wanderer。　It’s　only　going　to　get　hotter。

　If　I　hadn’t　wasted　more　than　a　quarter　of　a　tank　of　gas　stubbornly　pushing　on　to　the　very　base　of　the　
second　landmark—only　to　find　that　the　third　milestone　was　no　longer　visible　from　that　vantage　and　to　
have　to　turn　around　and　backtrack—we　would　have　been　so　much　farther　down　this　sandy　wash；　so　
much　closer　to　our　next　goal。　Thanks　to　me；　we　were　going　to　have　to　travel　on　foot　now。　

　

　C’mon；　c’mon；　c’mon；she　chanted　until　I　lurched；　stiff　and　awkward；　out　of　the　car。　My　back　throbbed　
as　I　straightened　up。　It　hurt　from　sleeping　so　contorted　last　night；　not　from　the　weight　of　the　pack；　the　
pack　wasn’t　that　heavy　when　I　used　my　shoulders　to　lift　it。

　Now　cover　the　car；she　instructed；　picturing　me　ripping　thorny　branches　from　the　nearby　creosotes　and　
palo　verdes　and　draping　them　over　the　silver　top　of　the　car。

　“Why？”

　Her　tone　implied　that　I　was　quite　stupid　for　not　understanding。So　no　one　finds　us。

　But　what　if　I　want　to　be　found？　What　if　there’s　nothing　out　here　but　heat　and　dirt？　We　have　no　
way　to　get　home！

　Home？she　questioned；　throwing　cheerless　images　at　me：　the　vacant　apartment　in　San　Diego；　the　
Seeker’s　most　obnoxious　expression；　the　dot　that　marked　Tucson　on　the　map…　a　brief；　happier　flash　of　
the　red　canyon　that　slipped　in　by　accident。Where　would　that　be？

　I　turned　my　back　on　the　car；　ignoring　her　advice。　I　was　in　too　far　already。　I　wasn’t　going　to　give　up　all　
hope　of　return。　Maybe　someone　would　find　the　car　and　then　find　me。　I　could　easily　and　honestly　explain　
what　I　was　doing　here　to　any　rescuer：　I　was　lost。　I’d　lost　my　way…　lost　my　control…　lost　my　mind。

　I　followed　the　wash　at　first；　letting　my　body　fall　into　its　natural　long…strided　rhythm。　It　wasn’t　the　way　I　
walked　on　the　sidewalks　to　and　from　the　university—it　wasn’tmy　walk　at　all。　But　it　fit　the　rugged　terrain　
here　and　moved　me　smoothly　forward　with　a　speed　that　surprised　me　until　I　got　used　to　it。

　“What　if　I　hadn’t　e　this　way？”　I　wondered　as　I　walked　farther　into　the　desert　waste。　“What　if　Healer　
Fords　were　still　in　Chicago？　What　if　my　path　hadn’t　taken　us　so　close　to　them？”

　It　was　that　urgency；　that　lure—the　thought　that　Jared　and　Jamie　might　beright　here；　somewhere　in　this　
empty　place—that　had　made　it　impossible　to　resist　this　senseless　plan。

　I’m　not　sure；Melanie　admitted。I　think　I　might　still　have　tried；　but　I　was　afraid　while　the　other　souls　
were　near。　I’m　still　afraid。　Trusting　you　could　kill　them　both。

　We　flinched　together　at　the　thought。

　But　being　here；　so　close…　It　seemed　like　Ihadto　try。　Please　—and　suddenly　she　was　pleading　with　
me；　begging　me；　no　trace　of　resentment　in　her　thoughts—please　don’t　use　this　to　hurt　them。　Please。

　“I　don’t　want　to。…　I　don’t　know　if　Ican　hurt　them。　I’d　rather…”

　What？　Die　myself？　Than　give　a　few　stray　humans　up　to　the　Seekers？

　Again　we　flinched　at　the　thought；　but　my　revulsion　at　the　idea　forted　her。　And　it　frightened　me　more　
than　it　soothed　her。　

　

　I　didn’t　like　leaving　the　wash；　just　as　I’d　resisted　leaving　the　car。　I　could　follow　this　wash　all　the　way　
back　to　the　road；　and　the　road　back　to　the　highway。　It　was　miles　and　miles；　and　it　would　take　me　days　to　
traverse；　but　once　I　stepped　off　this　wash　I　was　officially　adrift。

　Have　faith；　Wanderer。　We’ll　find　Uncle　Jeb；　or　he’ll　find　us。

　If　he’s　still　alive；I　added；　sighing　and　loping　off　my　simple　path　into　the　brush　that　was　identical　in　every　
direction。Faith　isn’t　a　familiar　concept　for　me。　I　don’t　know　that　I　buy　into　it。

　Trust；　then？

　In　who？　You？I　laughed。　The　hot　air　baked　my　throat　when　I　inhaled。

　Just　think；she　said；　changing　the　subject；maybe　we’ll　see　them　by　tonight。

　The　yearning　belonged　to　us　both；　the　image　of　their　faces；　one　man；　one　child；　came　from　both　
memories。　When　I　walked　faster；　I　wasn’t　sure　that　I　was　pletely　in　mand　of　the　motion。

　It　did　get　hotter—and　then　hotter；　and　then　hotter　still。　Sweat　plastered　my　hair　to　my　scalp　and　made　
my　pale　yellow　T…shirt　cling　unpleasantly　wherever　it　touched。　In　the　afternoon；　scorching　gusts　of　wind　
kicked　up；　blowing　sand　in　my　face。　The　dry　air　sucked　the　sweat　away；　crusted　my　hair　with　grit；　and　
fanned　my　shirt　out　from　my　body；　it　moved　as　stiffly　as　cardboard　with　the　dried　salt。　I　kept　walking。

　I　drank　water　more　often　than　Melanie　wanted　me　to。　She　begrudged　me　every　mouthful；　threatening　me　
that　we　would　want　it　much　more　tomorrow。　But　I’d　already　given　her　so　much　today　that　I　was　in　no　
mood　to　listen。　I　drank　when　I　was　thirsty；　which　was　most　of　the　time。

　My　legs　moved　me　forward　without　any　thought　on　my　part。　The　crunching　rhythm　of　my　steps　was　
background　music；　low　and　tedious。

　There　was　nothing　to　see；　one　twisted；　brittle　shrub　looked　exactly　the　same　as　the　next。　The　empty　
homogeny　lulled　me　into　a　sort　of　daze—I　was　only　really　aware　of　the　shape　of　the　mountains’　
silhouettes　against　the　pale；　bleached　sky。　I　read　their　outlines　every　few　steps；　till　I　knew　them　so　well　I　
could　have　drawn　them　blindfolded。

　The　view　seemed　frozen　in　place。　I　constantly　whipped　my　head　around；　searching　for　the　fourth　
marker—a　big　dome…shaped　peak　with　a　missing　piece；　a　curved　absence　scooped　from　its　side　that　
Melanie　had　only　shown　me　this　morning—as　if　the　perspective　would　have　changed　from　my　last　step。　I　
hoped　this　last　clue　was　it；　because　we’d　be　lucky　to　get　that　far。　But　I　had　a　sense　that　Melanie　was　
keeping　more　from　me；　and　our　journey’s　end　was　impossibly　distant。

　I　snacked　on　my　granola　bars　through　the　afternoon；　not　realizing　until　it　was　too　late　that　I’d　finished　the　
last　one。

　When　the　sun　set；　the　night　descended　with　the　same　speed　as　it　had　yesterday。　Melanie　was　prepared；　
already　scouting　out　a　place　to　stop。　

　

　I　eyed　the　fluffy…looking　cactus　in　the　failing　light；　so　thick　with　bone…colored　needles　that　it　resembled　
fur；　and　shuddered。You　want　me　to　just　sleep　on　the　ground？　Right　here？

　You　see　another　option？She　felt　my　panic；　and　her　tone　softened；　as　if　with　pity。Look—it’s　better　
than　the　car。　At　least　it’s　flat。　It’s　too　hot　for　any　critters　to　be　attracted　to　your　body　heat　and　—

　“Critters？”　I　demanded　aloud。“Critters？”

　There　were　brief；　very　unpleasant　flashes　of　deadly…looking　insects　and　coiled　serpents　in　her　memories。

　Don’t　worry。She　tried　to　soothe　me　as　I　arched　up　on　my　tiptoes；　away　from　anything　that　might　be　
hiding　in　the　sand　below；　my　eyes　searching　the　blackness　for　some　escape。Nothing’s　going　to　bother　
you　unless　you　bother　it　first。　After　all；　you’re　bigger　than　anything　else　out　here。　Another　flash　of　
memory；　this　time　a　medium…size　canine　scavenger；　a　coyote；　flitted　through　our　thoughts。

　“Perfect；”　I　moaned；　sinking　down　into　a　crouch；　though　I　was　still　afraid　of　the　black　ground　beneath　
me。　“Killed　by　wild　dogs。　Who　would　have　thought　it　would　end　so…　so　trivially？　How　anticlimactic。　
The　claw　beast　on　the　Mists　Planet；　sure。　At　least　there’d　be　some　dignity　in　being　taken　down　bythat。　”

　Melanie’s　answering　tone　made　me　picture　her　rolling　her　eyes。Stop　being　a　baby。　Nothing　is　going　to　
eat　you。　Now　lie　down　and　get　some　rest。　Tomorrow　will　be　harder　than　today。

　“Thanks　for　the　good　news；”　I　grumbled。　She　was　turning　into　a　tyrant。　It　made　me　think　of　the　human　
axiomGive　him　an　inch　and　he’ll　take　a　mile。　But　I　was　more　exhausted　than　I　realized；　and　as　I　
settled　unwillingly　to　the　ground；　I　found　it　impossible　not　to　slump　down　on　the　rough；　gravelly　dirt　and　
let　my　eyes　close。

　It　seemed　like　just　minutes　later　when　the　morning　dawned；　blindingly　bright　and　already　hot　enough　to　
have　me　sweating。　I　was　crusted　in　dirt　and　rocks　when　I　woke；　my　right　arm　was　pinned　under　me　and　
had　lost　feeling。　I　shook　out　the　tingles　and　then　reached　into　my　pack　for　some　water。

　Melanie　did　not　approve；　but　I　ignored　her。　I　looked　for　the　half…empty　bottle　I’d　last　drunk　from；　
rummaging　through　the　fulls　and　empties　until　I　began　to　see　a　pattern。

　With　a　slowly　growing　sense　of　alarm；　I　started　counting。　I　counted　twice。　There　were　two　more　empties　
than　there　were　fulls。　I’d　already　used　up　more　than　half　my　water　supply。

　I　told　you　that　you　were　drinking　too　much。

　I　didn’t　answer　her；　but　I　pulled　the　pack　on　without　taking　a　drink。　My　mouth　felt　horrible；　dry　and　
sandy　and　tasting　of　bile。　I　tried　to　ignore　that；　tried　to　stop　running　my　sandpaper　tongue　over　my　gritty　
teeth；　and　started　walking。

　My　stomach　was　harder　to　ignore　than　my　mouth　as　the　sun　rose　higher　and　hotter　above　me。　It　twisted　
and　contracted　at　regular　intervals；　anticipating　meals　that　didn’t　appear。　By　afternoon；　the　hunger　had　
gone　from　unfortable　to　painful。

　This　is　nothing；Melanie　reminded　me　wryly。We’ve　been　hungrier。　

　

　I　was　beginning　to　despair　when　the　good　news　came。　As　I　swung　my　head　across　the　horizon　with　a　
routine；　halfhearted　movement；　the　bulbous　shape　of　the　dome　jumped　out　at　me　from　the　middle　of　a　
northern　line　of　small　peaks。　The　missing　part　was　only　a　faint　indentation　from　this　vantage　point。

　Close　enough；Melanie　decided；　as　thrilled　as　I　was　to　be　making　some　progress。　I　turned　north　eagerly；　
my　steps　lengthening。Keep　a　lookout　for　the　next。　She　remembered　another　formation　for　me；　and　I　
started　craning　my　head　around　at　once；　though　I　knew　it　was　useless　to　search　for　it　this　early。

　It　would　be　to　the　east。　North　and　then　east　and　then　north　again。　That　was　the　pattern。

　The　lift　of　finding　another　milestone　kept　me　moving　despite　the　growing　weariness　in　my　legs。　Melanie　
urged　me　on；　chanting　encouragements　when　I　slowed；　thinking　of　Jared　and　Jamie　when　I　turned　
apathetic。　My　progress　was　steady；　and　I　waited　till　Melanie　okayed　each　drink；　even　though　the　inside　
of　my　throat　felt　as　though　it　was　blistering。

　I　had　to　admit　that　I　was　proud　of　myself　for　being　so　tough。　When　the　dirt　road　appeared；　it　seemed　
like　a　reward。　It　snaked　toward　the　north；　the　direction　I　was　already　headed；　but　Melanie　was　skittish。

　I　don’t　like　the　look　of　it；she　insisted。

　The　road　was　just　a　sallow　line　through　the　scrub；　defined　only　by　its　smoother　texture　and　lack　of　
vegetation。　Ancient　tire　tracks　made　a　double　depression；　centered　in　the　single　lane。

　When　it　goes　the　wrong　way；　we’ll　leave　it。I　was　already　walking　down　the　middle　of　the　tracks。It’s　
easier　than　weaving　through　the　creosote　and　watching　out　for　cholla。

　She　didn’t　answer；　but　her　unease　made　me　feel　a　little　paranoid。　I　kept　up　my　search　for　the　next　
formation—a　perfectM；　two　matching　volcanic　points—but　I　also　watched　the　desert　around　me　more　
carefully　than　before。

　Because　I　was　paying　extra　attention；　I　noticed　the　gray　smudge　in　the　distance　long　before　I　could　make　
out　what　it　was。　I　wondered　if　my　eyes　were　playing　tricks　on　me　and　blinked　against　the　dust　that　
clouded　them。　The　color　seemed　wrong　for　a　rock；　and　the　shape　too　solid　for　a　tree。　I　squinted　into　the　
brightness；　making　guesses。

　Then　I　blinked　again；　and　the　smudge　suddenly　jumped　into　a　structured　shape；　closer　than　I’d　been　
thinking。　It　was　some　kind　of　house　or　building；　small　and　weathered　to　a　dull　gray。

　Melanie’s　spike　of　panic　had　me　dancing　off　the　narrow　lane　and　into　the　dubious　cover　of　the　barren　
brush。

　Hold　on；I　told　her。I’m　sure　it’s　abandoned。

　How　do　you　know？She　was　holding　back　so　hard　that　I　had　to　concentrate　on　my　feet　before　I　could　
move　them　forward。

　Who　would　live　out　here？　We　souls　live　for　society。I　heard　the　bitter　edge　to　my　explanation　and　
knew　it　was　because　of　where　I　now　stood—physically　and　metaphorically　in　the　middle　of　nowhere。　

　

　Melanie　had　no　patience　for　my　personal　crisis—she　wanted　me　to　get　far　away　from　that　building　as　
fast　as　possible。　Her　thoughts　yanked　and　twisted　at　mine；　pulling　me　out　of　my　introspection。

　Calm　down；I　ordered；　trying　to　focus　my　thoughts；　to　separate　them　from　hers。If　there　is　anything　
that　actually　lives　here；　it　would　be　human。　Trust　me　on　this；　there　is　no　such　thing　as　a　hermit　
among　souls。　Maybe　your　Uncle　Jeb　—

　She　rejected　that　t