[科幻]宿主-第44部分

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if　you　know　what　I　mean。　I’ve　tried　to　reason　it　out。　Use　logic；　right？　So；　if　you　didn’t　have　backup；　
which　I’ve　seen　no　sign　of；　and　you　had　no　way　to　get　back；　then　you　must’ve　had　a　different　goal。　You　
haven’t　been　real　talkative　since　you　got　here；　’cept　with　the　kid　just　now；　but　I’ve　listened　to　what　you　
have　said。　Kind　of　seems　to　me　like　the　reason　you　almost　died　out　there　was　’cause　you　were　hell…bent　
on　finding　that　kid　and　Jared。”

　I　closed　my　eyes。　

　

　“But　if　you’re　not　acting…”

　He　paused　for　a　moment。

　“Spent　a　lot　of　time　watching　your　kind。　I　was　always　waiting　for　them　to　change；　you　know；　when　they　
didn’t　have　to　act　like　us　anymore；　because　there　was　no　one　to　actfor。　I　kept　on　watching　and　waiting；　
but　they　just　kept　on　actin’　like　humans。　Staying　with　their　bodies’　families；　going　out　for　picnics　in　good　
weather；　plantin’　flowers　and　paintin’　pictures　and　all　the　rest　of　it。　I’ve　been　wondering　if　you　all　aren’t　
turning　sort　of　human。　If　we　don’t　have　some　real　influence；　in　the　end。”

　He　waited；　giving　me　a　chance　to　respond。　I　didn’t。

　“Saw　something　a　few　years　ago　that　stuck　with　me。　Old　man　and　woman；　well；　the　bodies　of　an　old　
man　and　an　old　woman。　Been　together　so　long　that　the　skin　on　their　fingers　grew　in　ridges　around　their　
wedding　rings。　They　were　holding　hands；　and　he　kissed　her　on　her　cheek；　and　she　blushed　under　all　those　
wrinkles。　Occurred　to　me　that　you　have　all　the　same　feelings　we　have；　because　you’re　really　us；　not　just　
hands　in　a　puppet。”

　“Yes；”　I　whispered。　“We　have　all　the　same　feelings。　Human　feelings。　Hope；　and　pain；　and　love。”

　“So；　if　you　aren’t　acting…　well；　then　I’d　swear　to　it　that　you　loved　them　both。You　do。　Wanda；　not　just　
Mel’s　body。”

　I　put　my　head　down　on　my　arms。　The　gesture　was　tantamount　to　an　admission；　but　I　didn’t　care。　I　
couldn’t　hold　it　up　anymore。

　“So　that’s　you。　But　I　wonder　about　my　niece；　too。　What　it　was　like　for　her；　what　it　would　be　like　for　me。　
When　they　put　somebody　inside　your　head；　are　you　just…　gone？　Erased？　Like　being　dead？　Or　is　it　like　
being　asleep？　Are　you　aware　of　the　outside　control？　Is　it　aware　of　you？　Are　you　trapped　there；　
screaming　inside？”

　I　sat　very　still；　trying　to　keep　my　face　smooth。

　“Plainly；　your　memories　and　behaviors；　all　that　is　left　behind。　But　your　consciousness…　Seems　like　some　
people　wouldn’t　go　down　without　a　fight。　Hell；　I　know　I　would　try　to　stay—never　been　one　to　take　no　
for　an　answer；　anyone　will　tell　you　that。　I’m　a　fighter。　All　of　us　who　are　left　are　fighters。　And；　you　know；　I　
woulda　pegged　Mel　for　a　fighter；　too。”

　He　didn’t　move　his　eyes　from　the　ceiling；　but　I　looked　at　the　floor—stared　at　it；　memorizing　the　patterns　
in　the　purple　gray　dust。

　“Yeah；　I’ve　wondered　about　that　a　lot。”

　I　could　feel　his　eyes　on　me　now；　though　my　head　was　still　down。　I　didn’t　move；　except　to　breathe　slowly　
in　and　out。　It　took　a　great　deal　of　effort　to　keep　that　slow　rhythm　smooth。　I　had　to　swallow；　the　blood　
was　still　flowing　in　my　mouth。　

　

　He’s　both。

　Well；　maybe　this　means　we　don’t　have　to　keep　quiet　anymore。　He　knows。She　was　hopeful。　She’d　
been　very　quiet　lately；　absent　almost　half　the　time。　It　wasn’t　as　easy　for　her　to　concentrate　when　she　was　
relatively　happy。　She’d　won　her　big　fight。　She’d　gotten　us　here。　Her　secrets　were　no　longer　in　jeopardy；　
Jared　and　Jamie　could　never　be　betrayed　by　her　memories。

　With　the　fight　taken　out　of　her；　it　was　harder　for　her　to　find　the　will　to　speak；　even　to　me。　I　could　see　
how　the　idea　of　discovery—of　having　the　other　humans　recognize　her　existence—invigorated　her。

　Jeb　knows；　yes。　Does　that　really　change　anything？　
She　thought　about　the　way　the　other　humans　looked　at　Jeb。Right。　She　sighed。But　I　think　Jamie…　well；　
he　doesn’t　know　or　guess；　but　I　think　he　feelsthe　truth。　
You　might　be　right。　I　guess　we’ll　see　if　that　does　him　or　us　any　good；　in　the　end。


　Jeb　could　only　manage　to　keep　quiet　for　a　few　seconds；　and　then　he　was　off　again；　interrupting　us。　
“Pretty　interesting　stuff。　Not　as　muchbang！　bang！　as　the　movies　I　used　to　like。　But　still　pretty　interesting。　
I’d　like　to　hear　more　about　those　spider　thingies。　I’m　real　curious…　real　curious；　for　sure。”

　I　took　a　deep　breath　and　raised　my　head。　“What　do　you　want　to　know？”　
He　smiled　at　me　warmly；　his　eyes　crinkling　into　half　moons。　“Three　brains；　right？”　
I　nodded。　
“How　many　eyes？”　
“Twelve—one　at　each　juncture　of　the　leg　and　the　body。　We　didn’t　have　lids；　just　a　lot　of　fibers—like　


steel　wool　eyelashes—to　protect　them。”　
He　nodded；　his　eyes　bright。　“Were　they　furry；　like　tarantulas？”　
“No。　Sort　of…　armored—scaled；　like　a　reptile　or　a　fish。”　
I　slouched　against　the　wall；　settling　myself　in　for　a　long　conversation。　
Jeb　didn’t　disappoint　on　that　count。　I　lost　track　of　how　many　questions　he　asked　me。　He　wanted　


details—the　Spiders’　looks；　their　behaviors；　and　how　they’d　handled　Earth。　He　didn’t　flinch　away　from　
the　invasion　details；　on　the　contrary；　he　almost　seemed　to　enjoy　that　part　more　than　the　rest。　His　
questions　came　fast　on　the　heels　of　my　answers；　and　his　grins　were　frequent。　When　he　was　satisfied　
about　the　Spiders；　hours　later；　he　wanted　to　know　more　about　the　Flowers。

　“You　didn’t　half　explain　that　one；”　he　reminded　me。　
So　I　told　him　about　that　most　beautiful　and　placid　of　planets。　Almost　every　time　I　stopped　to　breathe；　he　
interrupted　me　with　a　new　question。　He　liked　to　guess　the　answers　before　I　could　speak　and　didn’t　seem　

　

a　pterodactyl！”　
“No；　we　used　sunlight　for　food；　like　most　plants　here。”　
“Well；　that’s　not　as　much　fun　as　my　idea。”　
Sometimes　I　found　myself　laughing　with　him。　
We　were　just　moving　on　to　the　Dragons　when　Jamie　showed　up　with　dinner　for　three。　
“Hi；　Wanderer；”　he　said；　a　little　embarrassed。　
“Hi；　Jamie；”　I　answered；　a　little　shy；　not　sure　if　he　would　regret　the　closeness　we’d　shared。　I　was；　after　

all；　the　bad　guy。　
But　he　sat　down　right　next　to　me；　between　me　and　Jeb；　crossing　his　legs　and　setting　the　food　tray　in　the　

middle　of　our　little　conclave。　I　was　starving；　and　parched　from　all　the　talking。　I　took　a　bowl　of　soup　and　
downed　it　in　a　few　gulps。　
“Shoulda　known　you　were　just　being　polite　in　the　mess　hall　today。　Gotta　speak　up　when　you’re　hungry；　


Wanda。　I’m　no　mind　reader。”　
I　didn’t　agree　with　that　last　part；　but　I　was　too　busy　chewing　a　mouthful　of　bread　to　answer。　
“Wanda？”　Jamie　asked。　
I　nodded；　letting　him　know　that　I　didn’t　mind。　
“Kinda　suits　her；　doncha　think？”　Jeb　was　so　proud　of　himself；　I　was　surprised　he　didn’t　pat　himself　on　

the　back；　just　for　effect。　
“Kinda；　I　guess；”　Jamie　said。　“Were　you　guys　talking　about　dragons？”　
“Yeah；”　Jeb　told　him　enthusiastically；　“but　not　the　lizardy　kind。　They’re　all　made　up　of　jelly。　They　can　fly；　

though…　sort　of。　The　air’s　thicker；　sort　of　jelly；　too。　So　it’s　almost　like　swimming。　And　they　can　breathe　

acid—that’s　about　as　good　as　fire；　wouldn’t　you　say？”　
I　let　Jeb　fill　Jamie　in　on　the　details　while　I　ate　more　than　my　share　of　food　and　drained　a　water　bottle。　
When　my　mouth　was　free；　Jeb　started　in　with　the　questions　again。

　“Now；　this　acid…”　
Jamie　didn’t　ask　questions　the　way　Jeb　did；　and　I　was　more　careful　about　what　I　said　with　him　there。　


However；　this　time　Jeb　never　asked　anything　that　might　lead　to　a　touchy　subject；　whether　by　coincidence　
or　design；　so　my　caution　wasn’t　necessary。　
The　light　slowly　faded　until　the　hallway　was　black。　Then　it　was　silver；　a　tiny；　dim　reflection　from　the　

moon　that　was　just　enough；　as　my　eyes　adjusted；　to　see　the　man　and　the　boy　beside　me。　

　

　I　folded　my　arms　across　my　body。

　Finally；　Jeb　yawned　a　huge　yawn　that　had　me　and　Jamie　doing　the　same。

　“You　tell　a　good　story；　Wanda；”　Jeb　said　when　we　were　all　done　stretching。

　“It’s　what　I　did…　before。　I　was　a　teacher；　at　the　university　in　San　Diego。　I　taught　history。”

　“A　teacher！”　Jeb　repeated；　excited。　“Well；　ain’t　that　amazin’？　There’s　something　we　could　use　around　
here。　Mag’s　girl　Sharon　does　the　teaching　for　the　three　kids；　but　there’s　a　lot　she　can’t　help　with。　She’s　
most　fortable　with　math　and　the　like。　History；　now　—”

　“I　only　taughtour　history；”　I　interrupted。　Waiting　for　him　to　take　a　breath　wasn’t　going　to　work；　it　
seemed。　“I　wouldn’t　be　much　help　as　a　teacher　here。　I　don’t　have　any　training。”

　“Your　history　is　better　than　nothing。　Things　we　human　folks　ought　to　know；　seeing　as　we　live　in　a　more　
populated　universe　than　we　were　aware　of。”

　“But　I　wasn’t　a　real　teacher；”　I　told　him；　desperate。　Did　he　honestly　think　anyone　wanted　to　hear　my　
voice；　let　alone　listen　to　my　stories？　“I　was　sort　of　an　honorary　professor；　almost　a　guest　lecturer。　They　
only　wanted　me　because…　well；　because　of　the　story　that　goes　along　with　my　name。”

　“That’s　the　next　one　I　was　going　to　ask　for；”　Jeb　said　placently。　“We　can　talk　about　your　teaching　
experience　later。　Now—why　did　they　call　you　Wanderer？　I’ve　heard　a　bunch　of　odd　ones；　Dry　Water；　
Fingers　in　the　Sky；　Falling　Upward—all　mixed　in；　of　course；　with　the　Pams　and　the　Jims。　I　tell　you；　it’s　
the　kind　of　thing　that　can　drive　a　man　crazy　with　curiosity。”

　I　waited　till　I　was　sure　he　was　done　to　begin。　“Well；　the　way　it　usually　works　is　that　a　soul　will　try　out　a　
planet　or　two—two’s　the　average—and　then　they’ll　settle　in　their　favorite　place。　They　just　move　to　new　
hosts　in　the　same　species　on　the　same　planet　when　their　body　gets　close　to　death。　It’s　very　disorienting　
moving　from　one　kind　of　body　to　the　next。　Most　souls　really　hate　that。　Some　never　move　from　the　planet　
they　are　born　on。　Occasionally；　someone　has　a　hard　time　finding　a　good　fit。　They　may　try　three　planets。　I　
met　a　soul　once　who’d　been　to　five　before　he’d　settled　with　the　Bats。　I　liked　it　there—I　suppose　that’s　
the　closest　I’ve　ever　e　to　choosing　a　planet。　If　it　hadn’t　been　for　the　blindness…”

　“How　many　planets　have　you　lived　on？”　Jamie　asked　in　a　hushed　voice。　Somehow；　while　I’d　been　
talking；　his　hand　had　found　its　way　into　mine。

　“This　is　my　ninth；”　I　told　him；　squeezing　his　fingers　gently。

　“Wow；　nine！”　he　breathed。

　“That’s　why　they　wanted　me　to　teach。　Anybody　can　tell　them　our　statistics；　but　I　have　personal　
experience　from　most　of　the　planets　we’ve…　taken。”　I　hesitated　at　that　word；　but　it　didn’t　seem　to　
bother　Jamie。　“There　are　only　three　I’ve　never　been　to—well；　now　four。　They　just　opened　a　new　world。”

　I　expected　Jeb　to　jump　in　with　questions　about　the　new　world；　or　the　ones　I’d　skipped；　but　he　just　

　

　“Why　did　you　never　stay　anywhere？”　Jamie　asked。

　“I　never　found　a　place　I　liked　enough　to　stay。”

　“What　about　Earth？　Do　you　think　you’ll　stay　here？”

　I　wanted　to　smile　at　his　child’s　confidence—as　if　I　were　going　to　get　the　chance　to　ever　move　on　to　

another　host。　As　if　I　were　going　to　get　the　chance　to　live　out　even　another　month　in　the　one　I　had。

　“Earth　is…　very　interesting；”　I　murmured。　“It’s　harder　than　any　place　I’ve　been　before。”

　“Harder　than　the　place　with　the　frozen　air　and　the　claw　beasts？”　he　asked。

　“In　its　own　way；　yes。”　How　could　I　explain　that　the　Mists　Planet　only　came　at　you　from　the　outside—it　

was　much　more　difficult　to　be　attacked　from　within。

　Attacked；Melanie　scoffed。

　I　yawned。I　wasn’t　actually　thinking　of　you；　I　told　her。I　was　thinking　of　these　unstable　emotions；　

always　betraying　me。　But　you　did　attack　me。　Pushing　your　memories　on　me　that　way。

　I　learned　my　lesson；she　assured　me　dryly。　I　could　feel　how　intensely　aware　she　was　of　the　hand　in　mine。　
There　was　an　emotion　slowly　building　in　her　that　I　didn’t　recognize。　Something　on　the　edge　of　anger；　with　

a　hint　of　desire　and　a　portion　of　despair。

　Jealousy；she　enlightened　me。

　Jeb　yawned　again。　“I’m　being　downright　rude；　I　guess。　You　must　be　bushed—walking　all　over　today　

and　then　me　keepin’　you　up　half　the　night　talking。　Ought　to　be　a　better　host。　C’mon；　Jamie；　let’s　go　and　

let　Wanda　get　some　sleep。”

　I　was　exhausted。　It　felt　as　if　it　had　been　a　very　long　day；　and；　from　Jeb’s　words；　perhaps　that　wasn’t　in　
my　imagination。

　“Okay；　Uncle　Jeb。”　Jamie　jumped　lightly　to　his　feet　and　then　offered　his　hand　to　the　old　man。

　“Thanks；　kid。”　Jeb　groaned　as　he　got　up。　“And　thanks　to　you；　too；”　he　added　in　my　direction。　“Most　
interesting　conversation　I’ve　had　in…　well；　probably　forever。　Rest　your　voice　up；　Wanda；　because　my　
curiosity　is　a　powerful　thing。　Ah；　there　he　is！　’Bout　time。”

　Only　then　did　I　hear　the　sound　of　approaching　footsteps。　Automatically；　I　shrank　against　the　wall　and　
scooted　farther　back　into　the　cave…room；　and　then　felt　more　exposed　because　the　moonlight　was　brighter　
inside。

　I　was　surprised　that　this　was　the　first　person　to　turn　in　for　the　night；　the　corridor　appeared　to　house　
many。

　“Sorry；　Jeb。　I　got　to　talking　with　Sharon；　and　then　I　sort　of　dozed　off。”　

　

were　empty。　
“We　didn’t　even　notice；　Doc；”　Jeb　said。　“We　were　having　the　time　of　our　lives　here。　Someday　you’ll　
have　to　get　her　to　tell　you　some　of　her　stories—great　stuff。　Not　tonight；　though。　She’s　got　to　be　pretty　
worn　out；　I’d　bet。　We’ll　see　you　in　the　morning。”

　The　doctor　was　spreading　a　mat　out　in　front　of　the　cave　entrance；　just　as　Jared　had。　
“Keep　an　eye　on　this；”　Jeb　said；　laying　the　gun　beside　the　mat。　
“Are　you　okay；　Wanda？”　Jamie　asked。　“You’re　shaking。”　
I　hadn’t　realized　it；　but　my　whole　body　was　quivering。　I　didn’t　answer　him—my　throat　felt　swollen　shut。　
“Now；　now；”　Jeb　said　in　a　soothing　voice。　“I　asked　Doc　if　he　minded　taking　a　shift。　You　don’t　need　to　


worry　about　anything。　Doc’s　an　honorable　man。”


　The　doctor　smiled　a　sleepy　smile。　“I’m　not　going　to　hurt　you…　Wanda；　is　it？　I　promise。　I’ll　just　keep　
watch　while　you　sleep。”　
I　bit　my　lip；　and　the　quivering　didn’t　stop。　
Jeb　seemed　to　think　everything　was　settled；　though。　“Night；　Wanda。　Night；　Doc；”　he　said　as　he　started　


back　down　the　hall。　
Jamie　hesitated；　looking　at　me　with　a　worried　expression。　“Doc’s　okay；”　he　promised　in　a　whisper。　
“C’mon；　boy；　it’s　late！”　
Jamie　hurried　off　after　Jeb。　
I　watched　the　doctor　when　they　were　gone；　waiting　for　some　change。　Doc’s　relaxed　expression　didn’t　


waver；　though；　and　he　didn’t　touch　the　gun。　He　stretched　his　long　frame　out　on　the　mat；　his　calves　and　
feet　hanging　off　the　end。　Lying　down；　he　looked　much　smaller；　he　was　so　rail　thin。


　“Good　night；”　he　murmured　drowsily。　
Of　course　I　didn’t　answer。　I　watched　him　in　the　dull　moonlight；　timing　the　rise　and　fall　of　his　chest　by　the　
sound　of　the　pulse　thudding　in　my　ears。　His　breathing　slowed　and　got　deeper；　and　then　he　began　to　
quietly　snore。


　It　could　have　been　an　act；　but　even　if　it　was；　there　wasn’t　much　I　could　do　about　it。　Silently；　I　crept　
deeper　into　the　room；　till　I　felt　the　edge　of　the　mattress　against　my　back。　I’d　promised　myself　that　I　would　
not　disturb　this　place；　but　it　probably　wouldn’t　hurt　anything　if　I　just　curled　up　on　the　foot　of　the　bed。　T