[科幻]宿主-第52部分

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down　her　face。　They　fell　into　her　food；　but　she　ate　as　if　she　were　beyond　noticing。　

　

　Jamie　looked　at　Sharon　and　sighed　before　he　answered　me。　“No；　Doc’s　fine。”

　“Aunt　Maggie？　Is　she　hurt？”

　He　shook　his　head。

　“Where’s　Walter？”　I　demanded；　still　whispering。　I　felt　a　gnawing　anxiety　as　I　thought　of　harm　befalling　
one　of　my　panions　here；　even　those　who　hated　me。

　“I　don’t　know。　He’s　fine；　I’m　sure。”

　I　realized　now　that　Jamie　was　just　as　sad　as　everyone　else　here。

　“What’s　wrong；　Jamie？　Why　are　you　upset？”

　Jamie　looked　down　at　his　eggs；　eating　them　slowly　and　deliberately　now；　and　did　not　answer　me。

　He　finished　in　silence。　I　tried　to　pass　him　what　was　left　in　my　bowl；　but　he　glowered　so　fiercely　that　I　
took　it　back　and　ate　the　rest　without　any　more　resistance。

　We　added　our　bowls　to　the　big　plastic　bin　of　dirty　dishes。　It　was　full；　so　I　took　it　from　the　counter。　I　
wasn’t　sure　what　was　going　on　in　the　caves　today；　but　dishes　ought　to　be　a　safe　occupation。

　Jamie　came　along　beside　me；　his　eyes　alert。　I　didn’t　like　that。　I　wouldn’t　allow　him　to　act　as　my　
bodyguard；　if　the　necessity　arose。　But　then；　as　we　made　our　way　around　the　edge　of　the　big　field；　my　
regular　bodyguard　found　me；　so　it　became　a　moot　point。

　Ian　was　filthy；　light　brown　dust　covered　him　from　head　to　toe；　darker　where　it　was　wet　with　his　sweat。　
The　brown　streaks　smeared　across　his　face　did　not　disguise　the　exhaustion　there。　I　was　not　surprised　to　
see　that　he　was　just　as　down　as　everyone　else。　But　the　dust　did　make　me　curious。　It　was　not　the　purple　
black　dust　inside　the　caves。　Ian　had　been　outside　this　morning。

　“There　you　are；”　he　murmured　when　he　saw　us。　He　was　walking　swiftly；　his　long　legs　cutting　the　distance　
with　anxious　strides。　When　he　reached　us；　he　did　not　slow；　but　rather　caught　me　under　the　elbow　and　
hurried　me　forward。　“Let’s　duck　in　here　for　a　minute。”

　He　pulled　me　into　the　narrow　tunnel　mouth　that　led　toward　the　eastern　field；　where　the　corn　was　almost　
ripe。　He　did　not　lead　me　far；　just　into　the　darkness　where　we　were　invisible　from　the　big　room。　I　felt　
Jamie’s　hand　rest　lightly　on　my　other　arm。

　After　half　a　minute；　deep　voices　echoed　through　the　big　cavern。　They　were　not　boisterous—they　were　
somber；　as　depressed　as　any　of　the　faces　I’d　read　this　morning。　The　voices　passed　us；　close　by　the　crack　
where　we　hid；　and　Ian’s　hand　tensed　on　my　elbow；　his　fingers　pressing　into　the　soft　spots　above　the　
bone。　I　recognized　Jared’s　voice；　and　Kyle’s。　Melanie　strained　against　my　control；　and　my　control　was　
tenuous　anyway。　We　both　wanted　to　see　Jared’s　face。　It　was　a　good　thing　Ian　held　us　back。　

　

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“He　really　thought　he　had　it　this　time。　He　was　so　sure。…　Oh；　well。　It　will　be　worth　all　this　if　he　figures　it　
out　someday；”　Kyle　disagreed。


　“If。”Jared　snorted。　“I　guess　it’s　a　good　thing　we　found　that　brandy。　Doc’s　going　to　blow　through　the　
whole　crate　by　nightfall　at　the　rate　he’s　going。”　
“He’ll　pass　out　soon　enough；”　Kyle　said；　his　voice　beginning　to　fade　in　the　distance。　“I　wish　Sharon　


would…”　And　then　I　couldn’t　make　out　any　more。　
Ian　waited　until　the　voices　faded　pletely；　and　then　a　few　minutes　more；　before　he　finally　released　my　

arm。　
“Jared　promised；”　Jamie　muttered　to　him。　
“Yeah；　but　Kyle　didn’t；”　Ian　answered。　
They　walked　back　out　into　the　light。　I　followed　slowly　behind　them；　not　sure　what　I　was　feeling。　
Ian　noticed　for　the　first　time　what　I　carried。　“No　dishes　now；”　he　told　me。　“Let’s　give　them　a　chance　to　

clean　up　and　move　on。”　
I　thought　about　asking　him　why　he　was　dirty；　but　probably；　like　Jamie；　he　would　refuse　to　answer。　I　

turned　to　stare　at　the　tunnel　that　led　toward　the　rivers；　speculating。　
Ian　made　an　angry　sound。　
I　looked　back　at　him；　frightened；　and　then　realized　what　had　upset　him—he’d　only　just　seen　my　face。　
He　raised　his　hand　as　if　to　lift　my　chin；　but　I　flinched　and　he　dropped　it。　
“That　makes　me　so　sick；”　he　said；　and　his　voice　truly　did　sound　as　if　he　were　nauseated。　“And　worse；　

knowing　that　if　I　hadn’t　stayed　behind；　I　might　have　been　the　one　to　do　it。…”　
I　shook　my　head　at　him。　“It’s　nothing；　Ian。”　
“I　don’t　agree　withthat；　”　he　muttered；　and　then　he　spoke　to　Jamie。　“You　probably　ought　to　get　to　

school。　It’s　better　that　we　get　everything　back　to　normal　as　soon　as　possible。”　
Jamie　groaned。　“Sharon　will　be　anightmare　today。”　
Ian　grinned。　“Time　to　take　one　for　the　team；　kid。　I　don’t　envy　you。”　
Jamie　sighed　and　kicked　the　dirt。　“Keep　an　eye　on　Wanda。”　
“Will　do。”　
Jamie　shuffled　away；　casting　glances　back　at　us　every　few　minutes　until　he　disappeared　into　another　

tunnel。　

　

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“They　weren’t　too　heavy　for　me；”　I　told　him。　
He　grinned　again。　“I　feel　silly　standing　here　with　my　arms　empty　while　you　lug　these　around。　Chalk　it　up　


to　gallantry。　C’mon—let’s　go　relax　somewhere　out　of　the　way　until　the　coast　is　clear。”　
His　words　troubled　me；　and　I　followed　him　in　silence。　Why　should　gallantry　apply　to　me？　
He　walked　all　the　way　to　the　cornfield；　and　then　into　the　cornfield；　stepping　in　the　low　part　of　the　furrow；　


between　the　stalks。　I　trailed　behind　him　until　he　stopped；　somewhere　in　the　middle　of　the　field；　set　the　


dishes　aside；　and　sprawled　out　on　the　dirt。　
“Well；　this　is　out　of　the　way；”　I　said　as　I　settled　to　the　ground　beside　him；　crossing　my　legs。　“But　
shouldn’t　we　be　working？”

　“You　work　too　hard；　Wanda。　You’re　the　only　one　who　never　takes　a　day　off。”　
“It　gives　me　something　to　do；”　I　mumbled。　
“Everyone　is　taking　a　break　today；　so　you　might　as　well。”　
I　looked　at　him　curiously。　The　light　from　the　mirrors　threw　double　shadows　through　the　cornstalks　that　


crisscrossed　over　him　like　zebra　stripes。　Under　the　lines　and　the　dirt；　his　pale　face　was　weary。　
“You　look　like　you’ve　been　working。”　
His　eyes　tightened。　“But　I’m　resting　now。”　
“Jamie　won’t　tell　me　what’s　going　on；”　I　murmured。　
“No。　And　neither　will　I。”　He　sighed。　“It’s　nothing　you　want　to　know　anyway。”　
I　stared　at　the　ground；　at　the　dark　purple　and　brown　dirt；　as　my　stomach　twisted　and　rolled。　I　could　


think　of　nothing　worse　than　not　knowing；　but　maybe　I　was　just　lacking　in　imagination。　
“It’s　not　really　fair；”　Ian　said　after　a　silent　moment；　“seeing　as　I　won’t　answer　your　question；　but　do　you　


mind　if　I　ask　you　one？”　
I　weled　the　distraction。　“Go　ahead。”　
He　didn’t　speak　at　once；　so　I　looked　up　to　find　the　reason　for　his　hesitation。　He　was　staring　down　now；　


looking　at　the　dirt　streaked　across　the　backs　of　his　hands。　
“I　know　you’re　not　a　liar。　I　know　that　now；”　he　said　quietly。　“I’ll　believe　you；　whatever　your　answer　is。”　
I　waited　again　while　he　continued　to　stare　at　the　dirt　on　his　skin。　
“I　didn’t　buy　Jeb’s　story　before；　but　he　and　Doc　are　pretty　convinced。…　Wanda？”　he　asked；　looking　up　


at　me。　“Is　she　still　in　there　with　you？　The　girl　whose　body　you　wear？”　


　

　He　nodded　slowly。　“What　is　it　like？　For　you？　For　her？”

　“It’s…　frustrating；　for　us　both。　At　first　I　would　have　given　anything　to　have　her　disappear　the　way　she　
should　have。　But　now　I…　I’ve　gotten　used　to　her。”　I　smiled　wryly。　“Sometimes　it’s　nice　to　have　the　
pany。　It’s　harder　for　her。　She’s　like　a　prisoner　in　many　ways。　Locked　away　in　my　head。　She　prefers　
that　captivity　to　disappearing；　though。”

　“I　didn’t　know　there　was　a　choice。”

　“There　wasn’t　in　the　beginning。　It　wasn’t　until　your　kind　discovered　what　was　happening　that　any　
resistance　started。　That　seems　to　be　the　key—knowing　what’s　going　to　happen。　The　humans　who　were　
taken　by　surprise　didn’t　fight　back。”

　“So　if　I　were　caught？”

　I　appraised　his　fierce　expression—the　fire　in　his　brilliant　eyes。

　“I　doubt　you　would　disappear。　Things　have　changed；　though。　When　they　catch　full…grown　humans　now；　
they　don’t　offer　them　as　hosts。　Too　many　problems。”　I　half　smiled　again。　“Problems　likeme。　Going　soft；　
getting　sympathetic　to　my　host；　losing　my　way…”

　He　thought　about　that　for　a　long　time；　sometimes　looking　at　my　face；　sometimes　at　the　cornstalks；　
sometimes　at　nothing　at　all。

　“What　would　they　do　with　me；　then；　if　they　caught　me　now？”　he　finally　asked。

　“They’d　still　do　an　insertion；　I　think。　Trying　to　get　information。　Probably　they’d　put　a　Seeker　in　you。”

　He　shuddered。

　“But　they　wouldn’t　keep　you　as　a　host。　Whether　they　found　the　information　or　not；　you　would　be…　
discarded。”　The　word　was　hard　to　say。　The　idea　sickened　me。　Odd—it　was　usually　the　human　things　that　
made　me　sick。　But　I’d　never　looked　at　the　situation　from　the　body’s　perspective　before；　no　other　planet　
had　forced　me　to。　A　body　that　didn’t　function　right　was　quickly　and　painlessly　disposed　of　because　it　was　
as　useless　as　a　car　that　could　not　run。　What　was　the　point　of　keeping　it　around？　There　were　conditions　of　
the　mind；　too；　that　made　a　body　unusable：　dangerous　mental　addictions；　malevolent　yearnings；　things　that　
could　not　be　healed　and　made　the　body　unsafe　to　others。　Or；　of　course；　a　mind　with　a　will　too　strong　to　
be　erased。　An　anomaly　localized　on　this　planet。

　I　had　never　seen　the　ugliness　of　treating　an　unconquerable　spirit　as　a　defect　as　clearly　as　I　did　now；　
looking　into　Ian’s　eyes。

　“And　if　they　caughtyou？　”　he　asked。

　“If　they　realized　who　I　was…　if　anyone　is　still　looking　for　me…”　I　thought　of　my　Seeker　and　shuddered　
as　he　had。　“They　would　take　me　out　and　put　me　in　another　host。　Someone　young；　tractable。　They　would　

　

　“Would　you　be　yourself　again？”

　I　met　his　gaze。　“Iam　myself。　I　haven’t　lost　myself　to　Melanie。　I　would　feel　the　same　as　I　do　now；　even　as　
a　Bear　or　a　Flower。”

　“They　wouldn’tdiscard　you？”

　“Not　a　soul。　We　have　no　capital　punishment　for　our　kind。　Or　any　punishment；　really。　Whatever　they　did；　
it　would　be　to　save　me。　I　used　to　think　there　was　no　need　for　any　other　way；　but　now　I　have　myself　as　
proof　against　that　theory。　It　would　probably　be　right　to　discard　me。　I’m　a　traitor；　aren’t　I？”

　Ian　pursed　his　lips。　“More　of　an　expatriate；　I’d　say。　You　haven’t　turned　on　them；　you’ve　just　left　their　
society。”

　We　were　quiet　again。　I　wanted　to　believe　what　he　said　was　true。　I　considered　the　wordexpatriate；　
trying　to　convince　myself　that　I　was　nothing　worse。

　Ian　exhaled　loudly　enough　to　make　me　jump。　“When　Doc　sobers　up；　we’ll　get　him　to　take　a　look　at　your　
face。”　He　reached　over　and　put　his　hand　under　my　chin；　this　time　I　didn’t　flinch。　He　turned　my　head　to　the　
side　so　he　could　examine　the　wound。

　“It’s　not　important。　I’m　sure　it　looks　worse　than　it　is。”

　“I　hope　so—it　looks　awful。”　He　sighed　and　then　stretched。　“I　suppose　we’ve　hidden　long　enough　that　
Kyle’s　clean　and　unconscious。　Want　some　help　with　the　dishes？”

　Ian　wouldn’t　let　me　wash　the　dishes　in　the　stream　the　way　I　usually　did。　He　insisted　that　we　go　into　the　
black　bathing　room；　where　I　would　be　invisible。　I　scrubbed　dishes　in　the　shallow　end　of　the　dark　pool；　
while　he　cleaned　off　the　filth　left　behind　by　his　mystery　labors。　Then　he　helped　me　with　the　last　of　the　dirty　
bowls。

　When　we　were　done；　he　escorted　me　back　to　the　kitchen；　which　was　starting　to　fill　up　with　the　lunch　
crowd。　More　perishables　were　on　the　menu：　soft　white　bread　slices；　slabs　of　sharp　cheddar　cheese；　
circles　of　lush　pink　bologna。　People　were　scarfing　down　the　delicacies　with　abandon；　though　the　despair　
was　still　perceptible　in　the　slump　of　their　shoulders；　in　the　absence　of　smiles　or　laughter。

　Jamie　was　waiting　for　me　at　our　usual　counter。　Two　double　stacks　of　sandwiches　sat　in　front　of　him；　but　
he　wasn’t　eating。　His　arms　were　folded　as　he　waited　for　me。　Ian　eyed　his　expression　curiously　but　left　to　
get　his　own　food　without　asking。

　I　rolled　my　eyes　at　Jamie’s　stubbornness　and　took　a　bite。　Jamie　dug　in　as　soon　as　I　was　chewing。　Ian　
was　back　quickly；　and　we　all　ate　in　silence。　The　food　tasted　so　good　it　was　hard　to　imagine　a　reason　for　
conversation—or　anything　else　that　would　empty　our　mouths。

　I　stopped　at　two；　but　Jamie　and　Ian　ate　until　they　were　groaning　in　pain。　Ian　looked　as　though　he　was　
about　to　collapse。　His　eyes　struggled　to　stay　open。

　“Get　back　to　school；　kid；”　he　said　to　Jamie。　

　

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“Go　to　school；”　I　told　him　quickly。　I　wanted　Jamie　a　safe　distance　from　me　today。　
“I’ll　see　you　later；　okay？　Don’t　worry　about…　about　anything。”　
“Sure。”　A　one…word　lie　wasn’t　quite　so　obvious。　Or　maybe　I　was　just　being　sarcastic　again。　
Once　Jamie　was　gone；　I　turned　on　the　somnolent　Ian。　“Go　get　some　rest。　I’ll　be　fine—I’ll　stay　


someplace　inconspicuous。　Middle　of　a　cornfield　or　something。”　
“Where　did　you　sleep　last　night？”　he　asked；　his　eyes　surprisingly　sharp　under　his　half…closed　lids。　
“Why？”　
“I　can　sleep　there　now；　and　you　can　be　inconspicuous　beside　me。”　
We　were　just　murmuring；　barely　over　a　whisper　now。　No　one　paid　us　any　attention。　
“You　can’t　watch　me　every　second。”　
“Wanna　bet？”　
I　shrugged；　giving　up。　“I　was　back　at　the…　the　hole。　Where　I　was　kept　in　the　beginning。”　
Ian　frowned；　he　didn’t　like　that。　But　he　got　up　and　led　the　way　back　to　the　storage　corridor。　The　main　


plaza　was　busy　again　now；　full　of　people　moving　around　the　garden；　all　of　them　grave；　their　eyes　on　their　
feet。

　When　we　were　alone　in　the　black　tunnel；　I　tried　to　reason　with　him　again。　
“Ian；　what’s　the　point　of　this？　Won’t　it　hurt　Jamie　more；　the　longer　I’m　alive？　In　the　end；　wouldn’t　it　be　
better　for　him　if　—”


　“Don’t　think　like　that；　Wanda。　We’re　not　animals。　Your　death　is　not　an　inevitability。”　
“I　don’t　think　you’re　an　animal；”　I　said　quietly。　
“Thanks。　I　didn’t　say　that　as　an　accusation；　though。　I　wouldn’t　blame　you　if　you　did。”　
That　was　the　end　of　our　conversation；　that　was　the　moment　we　both　saw　the　pale　blue　light　reflecting　


dimly　from　around　the　next　turn　in　the　tunnel。　
“Shh；”　Ian　breathed。　“Wait　here。”　
He　pressed　my　shoulder　down　gently；　trying　to　stick　me　where　I　stood。　Then　he　strode　forward；　making　


no　attempt　to　hide　the　sound　of　his　footsteps。　He　disappeared　around　the　corner。　
“Jared？”　I　heard　him　say；　feigning　surprise。　


　

　“I　know　it’s　with　you；”　Jared　answered。　He　raised　his　voice；　so　that　anyone　between　here　and　the　main　
plaza　would　hear。　“e　out；　e　out；　wherever　you　are；”　he　called；　his　voice　hard　and　mocking。

　CHAPTER　29

　Betrayed

　Maybe　I　should　have　run　the　other　way。　But　no　one　was　holding　me　back　now；　and　though　his　voice　
was　cold　and　angry；　Jared　was　calling　to　me。　Melanie　was　even　more　eager　than　I　was　as　I　stepped　
carefully　around　the　corner　and　into　the　blue　light；　I　hesitated　there。

　Ian　stood　just　a　few　feet　ahead　of　me；　poised　on　the　balls　of　his　feet；　ready　for　whatever　hostile　

movement　Jared　might　make　toward　me。　
Jared　sat　on　the　ground；　on　one　of　the　mats　Jamie　and　I　had　left　here。　He　looked　as　weary　as　Ian；　
though　his　eyes；　too；　were　m