tg.stone of tears-第87部分

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　Captain　Ryan　tensed　in　near　panic。　‘Mother　Confessor　。。。　I　know　those　men。　They’ve　been　with　us　a　long　time。　You　said　they　were　free　to　go！　We　can’t。。。’
　
　She　laid　a　hand　on　his　arm。　He　suddenly　recognized　the　threat　that　represented。　‘I　am　doing　what　I　must　to　save　your　lives。　You　have　given　your　word　to　follow　orders。’　She　leaned　a　little　closer。　‘Do　not　add　yourself　to　those　seventy…six。’
　
　He　at　last　gave　a　nod　and　she　removed　her　hand。　His　eyes　told　it　all。　Hate　radiated　from　him。
　
　‘I　didn’t　know　the　killing　was　to　start　with　our　own　men；’　he　whispered。
　
　‘It　does　not。　It　starts　with　the　enemy。’
　
　Captain　Ryan　pointed　angrily　up　the　pass。　‘They’re　going　in　the　opposite　direction　of　the　Order！’
　
　‘And　did　you　think　they　would　go　to　the　enemy　in　plain　sight　of　you？　They　intend　to　circle　around。’　She　turned　and　started　off　toward　a　tent　that　had　been　left　up　for　her。
　
　Captain　Ryan；　trailed　by　Chandalen；　Prindin；　and　Tos…sidin；　followed　her；　unwilling　to　concede。　‘If　you　were　so　concerned；　why　did　you　let　them　go！　Why　didn’t　you　let　the　men　kill　them　when　they　would　have！’
　
　‘Because　I　had　to　give　all　those　who　would　renounce　us　and　abandon　their　fellows　the　chance　to　do　so。’
　
　‘What　makes　you　think　all　the　‘traitors’　departed？　There　could　be　spies；　or　assassins；　among　us。’
　
　‘Yes；　there　could　be。　But　I　have　no　evidence　of　that　at　the　moment。　If　I　find　there　are；　I　will　have　to　deal　with　them　then。’
　
　Kahlan　came　to　a　stop　before　the　tent。　‘If　you　think　I　may　be　making　a　mistake　about　those　men；　I　assure　you；　I　am　not。　But　even　if　I　were；　it　is　a　price　that　must　be　paid。　If　we　let　them　go；　and　even　one　of　them　betrays　us；　we　could　all　be　killed　in　a　trap　tonight。　If　we　die；　there　will　be　none　to　stop　the　Order　for　a　long　time。　How　many　thousands　would　die　then；　Captain？　If　those　men　are　innocent；　I’ll　have　made　a　terrible　mistake；　and　seventy…six　innocent　men　will　die。　If　I’m　right；　I　will　be　saving　the　lives　of　untold　thousands　of　innocent　people。
　
　‘You　have　your　orders。　Carry　them　out。’
　
　Captain　Ryan　shook　with　rage。　‘I　hope　you　don’t　expect　me　to　ever　forgive　you　for　this。’
　
　‘No；　I　don’t。　I　expect　only　that　you　follow　my　orders。　I　don’t　care　if　you　hate　me；　Captain。　I　care　only　that　you　live　to　do　so。’
　
　He　gritted　his　teeth　in　mute　frustration。
　
　Kahlan　gripped　the　tent　flap。　‘Captain；　I’m　so　tired　I　can　hardly　stand。　I　need　to　get　a　couple　of　hours’　sleep。　I　want　a　guard　posted　around　this　tent　while　I　rest。’
　
　He　glared　at　her。　‘And　how　can　you　be　sure　one　of　them　might　not　be　an　enemy？　They　could　kill　you　in　your　sleep。’
　
　That’s　a　possibility。　But　if　that　happens；　one　of　these　three　men　would　avenge　my　murder。’
　
　Captain　Ryan　flinched　and　glanced　at　the　three　Mud　People。　In　his　anger；　he　had　forgotten　they　were　there。
　
　Chandalen　lifted　an　eyebrow　to　him。　‘I　will　first　put　sticks　in　his　eyes；　to　hold　them　open；　to　be　sure　he　sees　what　I　do。’
　
　Lieutenant　Hobson　rushed　up；　holding　a　bowl　out　in　his　hands。　‘Mother　Confessor；　I　brought　you　some　stew。　I　thought　you　would　like　something　to　eat。　Something　hot。’
　
　Kahlan　forced　herself　to　smile　at　him。　‘Thank　you；　Lieutenant；　but　I’m　so　tired　I’m　afraid　I　wouldn’t　be　able　to　keep　it　down。　Could　you　keep　it　warm；　until　after　I’ve　rested？’
　
　‘Of　course；　Mother　Confessor。’
　
　Captain　Ryan’s　glare　slid　to　his　grinning　lieutenant。　‘I　have　a　job　for　you；　Hobson。’
　
　Two　hours；’　Kahlan　said；　‘and　then　wake　me。　You　should　all　have　enough　to　keep　you　busy　in　the　meantime。’
　
　She　pulled　the　flap　aside　and　went　into　the　tent；　nearly　collapsing　onto　the　cot。　She　drew　a　blanket　over　her　legs；　and　lifted　the　fur　mantle　over　her　head；　shutting　out　the　light。　In　her　small；　private　darkness；　she　shook。
　
　She　would　have　given　her　life；　right　then；　to　have　Richard　hold　her　for　just　five　minutes。
　
　
　CHAPTER　41
　
　She　was　kissing　Richard；　holding　him　tightly　in　her　arms；　her　mind　filled　with　no　thought　but　peace　and　joy；　when　she　started　at　the　sound　of　shouting。　Richard　was　gone。　Her　heavy　arms　were　empty。
　
　She　sat　up；　pushing　the　blanket　away；　frantic　for　an　instant；　not　knowing　where　she　was；　and　then　she　remembered。　She　felt　as　if　she　might　vomit。
　
　She　wished　she　could　have　a　hot　bath。　She　couldn’t　remember　her　last　bath。　She　rubbed　her　eyes　as　Captain　Ryan　stuck　his　head　inside　the　tent。
　
　‘How　long？’　Kahlan　mumbled。　‘How　long　have　I　slept？’　She　threw　the　blanket　aside。
　
　‘A　couple　hours；　just　about。　There　is　someone　out　here　for　you。’
　
　Directly　outside　her　tent　waited　a　group　of　men；　an　ashen…faced　Lieutenant　Hobson　among　them。　In　their　midst　stood　Mosle；　bound　and　gagged　and　held　at　each　arm　by　soldiers。　His　eyes　darted　about　in　panic。　He　tried　to　shout　through　the　gag；　but　couldn’t　make　himself　understood。
　
　Kahlan　glowered　over　at　Captain　Ryan。
　
　He　stood　with　one　thumb　hooked　in　his　belt。　‘I　thought；　Mother　Confessor；　that　you　would　want　to　execute　this　man　yourself。　Since　he　seems　to　have　personally　offended　you　so。’　He　held　his　knife　out　toward　her；　handle　first。
　
　Kahlan　ignored　the　knife　and　turned　instead　to　the　men　holding　Mosle。　‘Release　him；　and　stand　away。’
　
　She　felt　as　if　she　were　still　in　a　sleep；　still　in　a　dream。　But　she　wasn’t。　There　was　no　option。
　
　As　they　stepped　back；　she　reached　out　and　snatched　Mosle　by　his　arm。　He　froze　in　fright　for　an　instant；　and　then　tried　to　back　away。
　
　But　he　had　no　time　to　escape。　She　was　touching　him　now。　He　was　hers。　Her　sleepiness　vanished　in　a　sucking　rush　as　her　power　ignited。　She　gave　no　thought　to　what　she　was　about　to　do；　there　was　no　choice。　She　was　mitted。　She　gave　herself　over　to　it。
　
　The　sounds　of　the　camp　…　the　jangle　of　tack；　the　grating　of　wooden　boxes　being　skidded　across　wagon　beds；　the　splintering　of　other　boxes　being　pried　open；　the　squeak　of　wheels；　the　whinnies　of　horses；　the　sound　of　thousands　of　feet　shuffling；　men　talking；　the　clop　of　hooves；　the　sound　of　steel　being　sharpened；　the　popping　of　wood　in　fires；　and　the　sound　of　her　own　heart　beating　…　all　faded　away　to　silence。
　
　In　the　silence　of　her　mind；　the　power　was　all。　She　could　feel　Mosle’s　muscles　tighten　under　her　hand。　But　he　had　no　chance。　He　was　hers。
　
　In　the　silence；　in　the　quiet；　in　the　peace　of　her　mind；　as　she　had　done　countless　times　before；　she　released　her　power；　her　magic；　into　the　man　before　her。
　
　There　was　a　violent　jolt　to　the　air　as　it　slammed　into　him。　Thunder　without　sound。　The　snow　around　her　and　Mosle　billowed　away　in　a　ring；　rising　and　tumbling；　until　it　dissipated　and　settled　again。
　
　Mosle；　no　more　who　he　had　been；　dropped　to　his　knees　in　the　wet　snow　before　her。　His　brow　wrinkled　with　panic　that；　because　of　the　gag；　he　would　not　be　able　to　ask　her　to　mand　him。　He　sucked　air　through　his　nose；　trying　to　breathe　with　the　terror　that　he　might　displease　her。　The　camp　around　her　had　fallen　into　stunned　silence；　with　her　the　heart　of　all　attention。　Kahlan　pulled　the　gag　from　his　mouth。
　
　Tears　of　relief　flooded　from　his　eyes。　‘Mistress；’　he　whispered　hoarsely。　‘Please；　Mistress；　mand　me。　Please　tell　me　what　I　can　do　to　serve　you。’
　
　In　trepidation；　hundreds　of　stunned　faces　around　her　watched。　Kahlan　gazed　down　at　the　man　on　his　knees　before　her。　She　wore　her　Confessor’s　face。　‘It　would　please　me；　William；　if　you　would　tell　me　the　truth　of　what　you　planned　to　do　after　you　left　this　camp。’
　
　He　beamed　with　joy；　more　tears　running　down　his　cheeks；　and　would　have　clutched　at　her　legs　in　gratitude　had　his　arms　not　been　bound　behind　his　back。
　
　‘Oh　yes；　Mistress；　please　let　me　tell　you。’
　
　Tell　me　then。’
　
　It　all　came　babbling　out　in　a　rush。　‘I　was　going　to　the　camp　of　those　other　men；　the　Imperial　Order　you　called　them；　and　I　was　going　to　ask　to　join　them。　I　was　going　to　take　all　my　men　with　me　so　they　could　join　too。　I　was　going　to　tell　them　of　the　presence　of　the　Galean　recruits；　and　of　your　plans；　so　they　would　be　pleased　with　us；　and　would　let　us　join　with　them。　I　thought　they　had　a　better　chance　than　you；　and　I　didn’t　want　to　die；　so　I　was　going　to　join　with　them。　I　thought　they　would　be　pleased　if　I　brought　them　men　to　add　to　their　ranks。　I　thought　they　would　be　pleased　with　us　if　we　could　help　them　crush　you。’
　
　He　burst　suddenly　in　sobs。　‘Oh；　please；　Mistress；　I’m　so　sorry　I　thought　to　do　you　harm。　I　wanted　them　to　kill　you。　Oh；　please；　Mistress；　I’m　so　sorry　I　intended　you　harm。　Please；　Mistress；　tell　me　how　I　can　gain　your　forgiveness。　I　will　do　anything。　Please　mand　me　and　it　will　be　done。　Please；　Mistress；　what　do　you　wish　of　me？’
　
　‘I　wish　for　you　to　die；’　she　whispered　in　the　icy　silence。　‘Right　now。’
　
　William　Mosle　crumpled　forward；　against　her　boots；　and　thrashed　in　racking　convulsions。　After　a　few　long；　agonizing　seconds；　he　was　still；　his　last　breath　rattling　from　his　lungs。
　
　Kahlan’s　gaze　slid　over　a　wide…eyed　Captain　Ryan；　to　Prin…din；　standing　behind　a　still　ashen　Lieutenant　Hobson。　Chan…dalen　was　glaring　at　him；　too。　She　spoke　in　his　tongue。
　
　‘Prindin；　I　told　you　to　make　sure　they　were　all　killed。　Why　did　you　not　do　as　I　said？’
　
　He　shrugged　self…consciously。　‘They　were　of　a　mind　to　do　this。　Captain　Ryan　told　them　to　kill　the　others　but　to　bring　this　one　to　you。　I　did　not　know　this　when　we　left；　or　I　would　have　told　you。　They　had　two　hundred　men　on　foot；　and　another　one　hundred　on　horses。　As　I　told　you；　they　were　of　a　mind　to　do　this；　and　I　did　not　think　I　would　be　able　to　prevent　it；　except　by　killing　him　myself；　and　then　I　realized　they　might　kill　me　for　doing　it；　and　then　I　would　not　be　able　to　be　near　you；　to　protect　you。　Besides　that；　I　knew　you　were　right；　and　I　thought　it　would　do　them　good　to　learn　a　lesson。’
　
　‘Did　any　escape？’
　
　‘No。　I　was　a　little　surprised　at　how　well　they　did　the　job。　They　are　good　men。　They　did　a　hard　thing；　a　thing　they　wept　to　do；　but　they　did　it　well。　None　escaped　them。’
　
　Kahlan　let　out　a　long　breath。　‘I　understand；　Prindin。　You　were　right　to　do　as　you　did。’　She　cast　a　sideways　glance　at　Chandalen。　‘Chandalen　will　be　satisfied；　too。’　It　was　an　order。
　
　Prindin　gave　her　a　tight　smile　of　relief。　Her　glare　slid　to　Captain　Ryan。
　
　‘Satisfied？’
　
　He　stood　stiff；　pale　and　wide…eyed。　‘Yes；　Mother　Confessor。’
　
　She　swept　a　glance　over　the　gathered　men。　‘Is　everyone　satisfied；　now？’
　
　There　came　from　them　all　an　uncoordinated；　mumbled　chorus　of　‘Yes；　Mother　Confessor。’
　
　If　there　had　been　some　before　who　were　not　terrified　of　her；　there　were　none　now　who　were　not。　The　lot　of　them　looked　as　if；　were　a　twig　to　snap　unexpectedly；　they　would　bolt　for　the　hills　like　frightened　rabbits。　This　was　probably　the　first　time　most　had　seen　magic；　and　it　wasn’t　wonderful；　beautiful　magic；　but　daunting；　ugly　magic。
　
　‘Mother　Confessor？’　Captain　Ryan　whispered。　His　arm　was　still　held　out；　frozen；　the　knife　he　had　offered　her　still　in　his　hand。　‘What　are　you　going　to　do　to　me　for　disobeying　your　orders？’
　
　She　looked　to　his　bloodless　face。　‘Nothing。　This　is　your　first　day　of　being　men　in　the　war　against　the　Order。　Most　of　you　didn’t　believe　in　the　importance　of　what　I　had　manded。　You　have　not　fought　in　war　before；　and　did　not　understand　the　need。　I　will　be　satisfied　that　you　have　learned　something　from　this；　and　leave　it　at　that。’
　
　Captain　Ryan　swallowed。　‘Thank　you；　Mother　Confessor。’　With　a　shaking　hand　he　slid　his　knife　back　in　its　sheath。　‘I　grew　up　with　him。’　He　lifted　the　hand　toward　the　body　at　her　feet。　‘We　lived　about　a　mile　apart；　on　the　same　road。　We　used　to　go　hunting　and　fishing　together　all　the　time。　We　helped　each　other　with　chores。　We　always　went　to　feast　day　in　our　best　coats　of　the　same　color。　We　always　。。。’
　
　‘I’m　sorry；　Bradley。　There　is　nothing　to　ease　the　pain　of　betrayal；　or　loss；　except　time。　As　I　told　you；　war　is　not　fair。　Were　it　not　for　the　men　of　the　Order　making　war；　perhaps　you　would　be　fishing　today；　with　your　friend。　Blame　the　Order；　and　avenge　him；　too；　with　all　the　rest。’
　
　He　nodded。　‘Mother　Confessor？　What　would　you　have　done　if　you　were　wrong？　What　would　you　have　done　if　Mosle　wasn’t　going　to　the　enemy？’
　
　She　regarded　him　until　his　gaze　rose　to　meet　hers。　‘I　probably　would　have　taken　that　knife　you　offered；　and　killed　you。’
　
　She　turned　from　his　hollow　expression　and　put　a　hand　on　the　shoulder　of　the　the　man　next　to　him。　‘Lieutenant　Hobson；　I　know　you　had　a　difficult　task。　Prindin　tells　me　you　did　it　well。’
　
　He　looked　near　tears；　but　still　managed　to　stiffen　his　back　with　pride。　She　noticed　that　his　beard　hadn’t　even　started　to　grow　in　earnest　yet。　Thank　you；　Mother　Confessor。’
　
　She　looked　around　at　the　hundreds　of　men　standing　about；　watching。　‘I　believe　you　all　have　work？’
　
　As　if　they　had　just　awakened；　everyone　began　moving　again；　slowly　at　first；　and　then　with　accelerating　urgency。
　
　Hobson　gave　a　salute　of　his　fist　to　his　heart　and　turned　to　other　business。　The　men　who　had　brought　Mosle　lifted　his　body　and　carried　it　off。　Others　went　to　Chandalen　and　the　two　brothers；　asking　for　instructions。　Captain　Ryan　stood　alone　with　her；　watching　as　everyone　went　about　their　work。
　
　Her　legs　felt　limp　and　slack；　like　bowstrings　left　out　in　the　rain　all　night。　For　a　Confessor　to　use　her　power　when　she　was　rested　and　alert　was　taxing。　To　use　it　when　she　was　already　tired　was　perilously　exhausting。　She　could　hardly　keep　herself　upright。
　
　She　had　been　dead　tired　from　riding　all　night　to　the　enemy　camp　and　back；　to　say　nothing　of　the　fight　with　them。　She　needed　more　sleep　than　she　had　gotten；　and　using　her　power　had　cost　her　even　the　benefit　of　the　short　nap；　and　then　some。　She　had　used　what　strength　she　had　left　to　do　something　that　should　have　been　done　without　her。
　
　She　thought　maybe　it　must　be　the　cold；　and　traveling　in　such　difficult　conditions；　but　she　seemed　more　tired　than　usual　lately。　Maybe　she　could　ask　Prindin　to　make　her　some　more　tea。
　
　‘Could　I　speak　with　you　for　a　moment；　Mother　Confessor？’　Captain　Ryan　asked。
　
　Kahlan　nodded。　‘What　is　it；　Captain？’
　
　He　pushed　his　unbuttoned　wool　coat　open；　shoving　his　hands　in　his　back　pockets。　He　glanced　away　to　watch　some　men　filling　waterskins。　‘I　just　want　to　say　that　I’m　sorry。　I　was　wrong。’
　
　‘It’s　all　right；　Bradley。　He　was　your　friend。　It’s　difficult　to　believe　ill　of　a　friend。　I　understand。’
　
　‘No；　that’s　not　it。　My　father　always　told　me　that　a　man　had　to　admit　his　mistakes　before　he　could　do　right　in　this　world。’
　
　He　shuffled　his　feet　and　looked　around；　finally　bringing　his　blue　eyes　to　her。　The　mistake　I　made　was　believing　that　you　wanted　Mosle　killed　because　he　wouldn’t　follow　you。　I　thought　you　were　being　spiteful　because　he　didn’t　want　to　follow　you。　I　made　a　mistake；　and　I’m　sorry。　Sorry　I　thought　that　of　you。　You　were　trying　to　protect　us；　even　though　you　knew　we　would　hate　you　for　it。　Well；　I　don’t　hate　you。　I　hope　you　don’t　hate　me。　I’m　honored　to　follow　you　into　this　battle。　I　hope　that　someday　I’m　half　as　wise　as　you；　and　have　the　guts　you